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第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bMvyEsPMZ
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NSIhXa6WY
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還沒有學會「接受」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtRl1XVCfW
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接受現實498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPgOUaJ3xX
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因為認為是屈服498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6dhW7RGP9
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感覺好像自己在投降498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWJtFF2rNO
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放棄一切498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1goKeogvrp
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0JAG7zyJp
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXd9SwVujp
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認為是這樣子的狂妄498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckohGhJqSN
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無他498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBvoTxty7E
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說是愚痴也不過份498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqIVNgdoHS
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只是她不相信498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgn0DW8sHev
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懷疑498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3CC2qs7gD
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她⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHVqhdydqm
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「⋯⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppLdw7juvI
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcc8aonzQHf
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單單是想像也有夠不安498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2NawYy3vU
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUCTpnOKNz
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovKvb8hJBd
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唯一句498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdDlV4Fio2
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當局者迷，旁觀者清498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzItPB4y1a6
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVrezl6npL
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZZAXhLCvt
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——————498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyhVyRiiQJ
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgdnpmmziv
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且不死，無法殺死498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAa6cVhI1jI
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——————498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3hyiMnPN2
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人家已經很盡力了498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdGqyKL4F6
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdX2Rn3e18v
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憤怒498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAM8UPRXX7
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEecAak81F5
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因為我沒有用498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlpe3W0X4F
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2U44JsT2IZ
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxp9nPhAnV
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDSzZj1TlD
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡys99NnAHIK
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTxq8RgabE
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2drdwOoF72
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxW6WwhC7T
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZUfHlNbUn
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRXyrzt16n
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAgKNCKRqJ
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkdoGIqux9
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ535Udy8uqH
太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwdKnbMumC
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已經失眠了多久？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVGxTpEAiU
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTg4ZG90Bxg
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdHEBCf8mG
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAMgHavfW2
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NYVj3UABC
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgckmnIo6I
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdfrF4oUtQ
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8A11q4yv0g
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSk6Fm44iJi
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMu7lUmmeg
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnQLeqixCn
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvCftj4tGp
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——呀？
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嗯？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgey8jcxeKj
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReKbdOEDM4
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi03ijc2L0U
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGEQFB5oRV
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lHb5xauGG
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqjfSAxrMY
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEnufhgGPL
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEE3O4geaix
我也想活下去
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCk0ePNUQUp
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDnZXvw9qs
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvACxYHUCA1
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4FNAtu1qb
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD77Hv5KH2i
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcXSsPB38s
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcmuFOGxOW
或是說，我不希望⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡen5Hune0DC
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdSm0TCfx5
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Gpq0ZHzte
⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwaAdNhHcY
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95cuuZsd28
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixaw62f8p0
對不起498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4fRcsHi2wZ
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ221uppfHAX
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXBEpWWJj1
我也希望自己⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tOas6LiBk
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2KZZD6Kc0
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCityf2Uzqr
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAs1p7NuFE
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaU3PrKdPz
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnhkYkLjHa
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetCUkTxbDJ
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCtQszryHR
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3eNlHrZCx
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTXpjrPutw
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpMotaEVEV
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsc5m1KP8J
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKued52ocI
「⋯⋯嗯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9nkZ373rf
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eUemLvpX6
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXReldnIMn
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRklX2J40T
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCTVltHbvq
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgz3JA8M2bx
「⋯⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MFVPaxBEr
「真的」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlGzBZ41qr
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VAtOCiVz6
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQ3fzNZK10
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroEsneMmpO
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Hj72CWZs7
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSfEwLpXvM
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Mv5PBoV6H
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8o5B3jCRv
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9z6zXDZm9
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFQATHN4HJ
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mImVOoryr
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTklaqoatRx
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcQ5bN91yj
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyksKBH9wXB
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqgbchrnF0
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCK3MVKzYxf
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXcNwry3tK
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY36CufBbSN
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwhu0fVpFF
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WElPK5n2W
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5c8SPcnmg2
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cyO7MA6fQ
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzVR0Nh9wK
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6KXb6U1BR
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtEVUWH5xb
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRPJ1pjTDf
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3eYaulmsV
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtXGPVkHS8
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFPdEsvjHp
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Laup34iey
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXwBF0LpIt
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWPxoxweSg
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc11GdI2SG4
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGd4m660OO
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6Ta69nyjK
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpGX8gBpim
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTClNS42sY
最後一記，最強烈
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl1qNDl8Sp
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqk2iTNDDc
「⋯哈啊⋯」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQO5IyoHco
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9k9mnsnAh
鬆口，直至其手到胸口498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ONdibDvlj
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vii9C2UsN
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELqJlwcPHJ
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVeDfk9cqU
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunL4pr00YC
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KZMm7hqPu
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJtsJ3PB2b
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKp25lO3cJ
「⋯啊？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgY0Lpd1HAQ
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLziDjYl8w
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBs9CX7H84
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0tSigII4B
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpTqKjOd9B
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xqUTfJwQY
「等、等等」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRTTFxyxUf
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30qBdBhRbu
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyOKkYoo3I
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlyhUAWmSc
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroeiJaNbuM
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RchKlnJqp
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLU14BPUQYu
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTsCK3Ok0H
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0rz2HGlSN
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs937uxhheL
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RWm1myZYl
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mUI274gti
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZqw9Hepy0
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0CKF9MJ4vY
好痛
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71DaaxhKM0
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzv40kauqT
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsdfjTuIEW
但會有人在意嗎？
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xabcm941C
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WsIGMHutZ
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMEYGgn95q
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RRntY622l
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgxVAyjOjU
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqk5CFahoiB
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrjFzm4PyZ
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjvqft9N5U
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3cXBF5ybw
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUpZ8GJsQc
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA41jQOu4p4
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KOEAPeOGR
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2obvOoVPhg
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSY0JIrSV2
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal5F7J4VF8
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZzGD4LmHS
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80xXzuWgpM
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXVil71t0P
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJGmyPMB1r
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIEvIkQT2O
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JfYbm5Ebn
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcd2MQQ4d0G
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUUAd8zTdl
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ564togcXkl
比較下，條件不由自己定
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRctQED8g4
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtqUlf5sI5
我沒有選擇權498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7uIY4TGFD
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4pCKANJHL
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5GfXqdaPP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5uWMrAmCU
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueaflWv8mn
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJucY73JQ62
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOVVSUfjDP
明白嗎？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNY1R7W5j8P
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGDWeO5aH3
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1JEMWpWmc
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlYUAieMmy
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeZcPVFlyl
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeIgLcrtcT
若世界更溫柔的話——
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyBUAZJgrw
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeUuf9BTna
不可能498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVCsVtBQra
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLc2ep0SFm
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Qjv4yBpvl
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2qUaTdg4m
什麼也沒有498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTedNad8kN
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvGg6tQWmC
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwl4Knv3gL
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKnekefjuR
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQbdcH96gB
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xhd2M2Jzk
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsiTKJem51
當然498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQcbHJ8n9y
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpm8frcieP
絕對
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSP4anwuEX5
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVPfRbhU1U
不想498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQg0hSPTgL
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3ZkgsHdJq
但始終，真的太辛苦了498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWOD2MJa6T
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dWflNwn43
⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyN4pmVPMl
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGy11sQVPTo
思考真的太辛苦了498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2B7TieL17
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtp86scj99
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKLSK6j1ZN
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyrp2m1q3Z
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwyDNTq7us
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5pGfVW1PM
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMVOAEVoP0
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZJ9GXYncE
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRa6q0ut45Z
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFSJNGd0iAi
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBdPlE7eAb
「⋯⋯對不起」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMS5mLQrXP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwSaXt5DeR
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGmYuoD7sq
「嗯⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeZN6fQ7YW
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TrCh0lSbX
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNEPExwspL
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36wil1leYC
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdRoarFhCo
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrcCEBfvda
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLryf2YbVe
「忠誠致赤雨之日」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSurLwBUqGk
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRLdPmtUJE
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2ZIp0hElW
女孩說道
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllwwXSBDlk
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNU2tuBZONw
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPD2roGs7Yr
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcS1plezKFM
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZO7Uk2L2Rx
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgbPliW2OQ
是女孩的指示498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesNeEkQkoD
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6gTzlVRXs
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4PcOHLcAa
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjLYOenEKS
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSkMraMzl3
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbu0m7yFYb
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVMAYkOdwq
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFy5P4UrYD
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHtlrxSwma
直至最後能看見的——498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jbmvSmOdm
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP46VsnBaoh
也不存在
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QA8zKxw9N
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJuwstddDW
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFCjJNtDWH
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5CEY4dv0w
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVSbvSTxTQ
但無法辨認498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjf7o0EDki
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNNq8O8wx7
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99AEpM1cAo
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIUuwDClKz
黑暗將自己包圍498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQFqQ0etwf
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYaiqKNzVc
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnVXIbisMh
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWW5bi8ydKl
不知多久了498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVwFlPUWFJ
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhENc2VKh4s
在那時開始498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNvVFRkcyPY
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqOQPcIqWz
那裏498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozTfebNufg
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjgA2xEUYL
但有些事情〇〇
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aQrX6qhSe
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtMfYcoNJf
〇〇〇498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgEDHZyRVQ
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXL1iE5thK
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxRa8IipFN
〇〇〇〇〇〇498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLvDx3ZFYl
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuNoXMA8SV
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmKbCO6Gjc
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFxQWgVnMX
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXqMsmCw3Z
現在不是你的回合498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE191Ytvbs8
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajpcnL9Gfq
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCUBMtILfF
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