117Please respect copyright.PENANAGYZYyDYGnJ
我看見那碎了一地的玻璃珠。117Please respect copyright.PENANAb6I9QcLxl7
那些碎片無聲的哭著,為了不被人發現而閃著光。我可以從那些碎片裡知道他曾經完整的時刻,想像他被人愛著的樣子,那想必非常美麗吧。117Please respect copyright.PENANAizZCGNSURD
117Please respect copyright.PENANAasmNysADSD
美麗的,超脫人類的純粹,美好的不該出現在這個世界上。117Please respect copyright.PENANAxIKjyGMDa8
所以被人打碎了。117Please respect copyright.PENANAAVfFoHtBdv
117Please respect copyright.PENANAz90hG4b8WP
但那人一定不知道,他即便被打碎,那份美麗也不會因此有所減損。117Please respect copyright.PENANAUAUdQMv0zl
117Please respect copyright.PENANAsiFAlX2NA7
我可以看見他那些將人刺傷的眼淚,連同他那不願意刺傷人的溫柔,只要躺在他身邊入睡,為了不讓人受傷,他就會慢慢恢復原狀,混進一點瑪瑙色的塵埃,變得更加美麗,不被任何人取代。117Please respect copyright.PENANAkaZpLsmrjN
117Please respect copyright.PENANAvPU0QidKA1
旁人能為他做的事,打一開始就不存在吧。117Please respect copyright.PENANAFnBsjIqwWE
リンドウ需要的事物,必須由他交付給自己才行。117Please respect copyright.PENANAtcvsJY9t55
117Please respect copyright.PENANAZAZUmKqNkx
117Please respect copyright.PENANAwOmLdUn6Pw
「你明天有甚麼安排嗎?」117Please respect copyright.PENANAi30u1ce13m
117Please respect copyright.PENANAGDojrNWVhM
粗糙的線條在胸口遊走,他眨了眨眼睛,看著那些線條走過的地方。117Please respect copyright.PENANAQXrJOhhJzd
「早上有事務所的舞蹈練習,下午有錄音。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAkYM1QSmnsY
117Please respect copyright.PENANAX3kX58WcsB
「也就是說不用脫衣服對吧。」117Please respect copyright.PENANANr5CAB3Hu5
「嗯,但是……啊——」117Please respect copyright.PENANATVCwCsOx6B
117Please respect copyright.PENANAEyQhsDfK8C
但是練習後汗水流過傷口會很痛,跳舞的時候拉扯到傷口或許會流血也說不定。雖然想這麼回應,但他自己的疼痛和鮮血,跟「客人」的快樂是不能相提並論的。117Please respect copyright.PENANAsSRmqGkFS5
比起做愛,那個「客人」更喜歡鞭子和蠟燭,長住的飯店裡有個房間是為他量身打造的,不管怎麼哭喊也不會被人發現,就算被發現了也不會有人理會。117Please respect copyright.PENANAmmUSlEe1YF
117Please respect copyright.PENANAU9EX1nRheN
「不過下午有錄音是吧?那得小心不要叫啞了。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAHqFGTUV61m
117Please respect copyright.PENANAIMfk4grLuh
他咬緊牙。117Please respect copyright.PENANALoYcl7R4L2
尖銳的只有鞭子呼嘯而過的風聲,還有不經意洩出的,連自己都不願意承認的尖叫。117Please respect copyright.PENANATUYV1isgDJ
117Please respect copyright.PENANAijZNU4f0yl
「這點程度不算甚麼吧?你應該已經習慣了。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAMq0RkIvoWA
「嗯……」他嚥下即將從喉中湧出的甜腥味。「我沒事的,請您繼續。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAUDR5HyeyLR
117Please respect copyright.PENANAygrCuCVskX
快點結束,快點讓這個夜晚落幕。117Please respect copyright.PENANAoY1Fp2wI4H
不想聽見的哭聲在內心深處迴響著。117Please respect copyright.PENANABYrQciGqQf
117Please respect copyright.PENANATWgEtTkwsR
這點程度不算甚麼,沒事的,沒事的。117Please respect copyright.PENANADnC8rosf61
摻著腥氣的自我安慰在耳邊呢喃著。117Please respect copyright.PENANAoGZpGI9yuR
117Please respect copyright.PENANA4H4LC6uhBX
即便那個「客人」的名字和長相早已埋沒在記憶之中,那些積累的疼痛依然不時出現在夢裡。117Please respect copyright.PENANAAmwbHREsJa
除了自己的聲音之外,他沒有其他能依靠的話語。117Please respect copyright.PENANAr9Md0lCZTI
117Please respect copyright.PENANA3bjir9lyQR
謊言的水滴帶著溫熱的腥氣,從劃開的傷口處流入口中。他的飢渴無論如何都無法滿足,只是追著眼前的血液,試圖填滿心中的乾涸。117Please respect copyright.PENANA5fawj6BYLZ
117Please respect copyright.PENANAlMFkxNuKU4
「工作很忙的話,不用特地過來醫院也沒關係的。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAGzohO5QJPA
117Please respect copyright.PENANASgC8HzjfrJ
晃眼的白佈滿視野,能清楚聽見的只有那溫柔的關懷,他眨了眨眼。117Please respect copyright.PENANATgEegEI3Ur
「不,是我想見姐姐才來的。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAdYNz8PChS8
117Please respect copyright.PENANAQIvI3bcUYK
「不要太勉強自己喔。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAIqe3FrQtoq
「嗯,我知道。姐姐,我差不多該回事務所了。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAO0xdexsnXZ
117Please respect copyright.PENANA7P7NjzymyV
想像以前那樣,跟姐姐說「好痛」,「好難過」,但說了也只是徒增煩惱而已,在變得想向人撒嬌之前,得快點離開才行。117Please respect copyright.PENANApoxsG8bB5W
117Please respect copyright.PENANA9gpd5HCIYM
「我很快就能出院了,總不能一直讓弟弟照顧,所以,如果你覺得累了的話……」117Please respect copyright.PENANAZ0NB6XpI3c
117Please respect copyright.PENANA1fq2iR5kVo
讓生病的姐姐說出這種話……117Please respect copyright.PENANAOPUDBYLsLU
「姐姐,我很喜歡我現在的工作。不用擔心我,我沒事的。」117Please respect copyright.PENANA0JIxsPjZ8r
117Please respect copyright.PENANAMWcors39kr
「這樣啊。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAOrMZGExwbu
117Please respect copyright.PENANA3OuCRsDyBT
姐姐皺著眉朝他笑了笑,他大概也露出了同樣的表情吧。但是面對彼此,除了蒼白的「我沒事」以外,甚麼都說不出口。117Please respect copyright.PENANABAsJjK7RUw
他撒謊從來沒能瞞過姐姐,姐姐的檢查報告也不可能繞過他,不管怎麼掙扎,面對的只有每況愈下的現實和彼此的謊言。117Please respect copyright.PENANApyZIvbOEYB
117Please respect copyright.PENANAPVYhFvEpjZ
他眨了眨眼,把即將奪眶而出的淚水堵回。117Please respect copyright.PENANA5MCVQZPruK
117Please respect copyright.PENANAqFT95wjOrm
117Please respect copyright.PENANA67QC2WRLkv
「你現在叫リンドウ啊?」眼前這人的名字他已經忘了,但這副帶著玩味的表情他還記憶猶新。117Please respect copyright.PENANANUc7lmRr1F
117Please respect copyright.PENANAPQGXrkiaua
「跟你沒有關係。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAE0jAbVa8lL
117Please respect copyright.PENANA1u0VKYR8YZ
「真冷淡啊,當初我們那麼要好不是嗎……」對方的手指做作的搔刮他的下巴,但這只是虛張聲勢。117Please respect copyright.PENANA7iB9DvjU5j
117Please respect copyright.PENANAlfGq5WEv8h
不管是リンドウ還是對方,都不過是收藏櫃裡漂亮的展示品而已。117Please respect copyright.PENANA6CsEOMAtRP
就像リンドウ的謊一樣,對方也有保護自己尊嚴的手段。117Please respect copyright.PENANAz5QvHzh4B9
117Please respect copyright.PENANA1j4EPNDfnu
リンドウ閉上眼,腦海裡浮出的是雙帶著憧憬的眼神。117Please respect copyright.PENANAgVWmhHbWxC
——我一直很崇拜你,因為喜歡你才決定當偶像的。117Please respect copyright.PENANAy9NDJ3BSsb
117Please respect copyright.PENANAb8CYj5nccg
「你放下工作到這裡來,只是為了說這種話嗎?」117Please respect copyright.PENANAA1StcEHWI0
リンドウ睜開眼睛,那雙憧憬早在時光中支離破碎,只剩下脆弱的自尊裹著空洞的內裡。117Please respect copyright.PENANAFCIVfKzJXk
117Please respect copyright.PENANAZpx1pRaHY1
「不,我是來給你送信的。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAp4emfrFm4i
對方指間夾著一封信,封口上的筆跡眼熟到讓人作嘔的程度。117Please respect copyright.PENANAnmm5sPSe4w
117Please respect copyright.PENANAY0SU3EXVIi
「我不會收那個人的信的。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAwLAMzxLkB7
「你會收的,因為不是別人,而是我來送信的。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAewTKC6NKcE
117Please respect copyright.PENANAFSj6NmoDsW
——偶像是這種……像妓女一樣的工作嗎?我一直以來崇拜著的,原來是這樣骯髒的人嗎?117Please respect copyright.PENANAOJOg0FrWrm
自作主張的把別人當作夢想,將一切歸罪於他人。117Please respect copyright.PENANAoBrekiHgbo
117Please respect copyright.PENANADMcpWwTqUe
——說點什麼啊,為什麼不否認?117Please respect copyright.PENANAf8MuzDva3t
擅自覺得對方會因此而有罪惡感。117Please respect copyright.PENANATtfs0B8z1i
117Please respect copyright.PENANAODFQYvblUP
リンドウ冷冷地看著那封信,以及那微微顫抖的手指。117Please respect copyright.PENANAeFJ3uvvgD2
並不是因為覺得對他有所虧欠,只是出於廉價的,對過去的自己的同情而已,リンドウ伸手接下那封信。117Please respect copyright.PENANAt7r7WyQfuN
117Please respect copyright.PENANAn4LO8AwSgZ
「我收下信了。這樣就行了吧?」他將信對折幾次,將封口上的筆跡和混亂藏起,朝對方笑了笑。117Please respect copyright.PENANAwApxtoSD58
117Please respect copyright.PENANAoxrvlc53wf
リンドウ的笑似乎刺傷他了,對方遊刃有餘的表情出現裂口。117Please respect copyright.PENANASDMX9WPMwZ
「……如果你也過得悲慘的話就好了。」他的手按在牆上,將リンドウ蓋在他的陰影之下。「只有你像沒事一樣站在地獄外頭微笑什麼的,太礙眼了。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAizmzrpGO6S
117Please respect copyright.PENANA6c0vMBtzmL
「所以你才告訴那個人我的行蹤嗎?」117Please respect copyright.PENANA0CpazCh5mq
117Please respect copyright.PENANA4EA4IdaudK
「只是偶然在網路上看到而已,關於你的事情總是消失的太快了,像是被誰特意藏起來一樣。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAYE0hACj9i8
117Please respect copyright.PENANA3BO8VyR4vf
像是被誰特意藏起來一樣……117Please respect copyright.PENANA53oK1akXG6
リンドウ闔上眼睛,背靠著牆不做回答。117Please respect copyright.PENANAlUaHbSlbfp
117Please respect copyright.PENANA0s2g32v76k
「我曾經很喜歡你的,那個人也是。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAxZOaJC1GUv
睜開眼睛,對方已經離開了,或許是他開口趕走的,又或是對方自行離開的,他不記得自己是怎麼度過這段時間的。117Please respect copyright.PENANADoUY5mE1p7
117Please respect copyright.PENANA4gljf0Ibvk
不管是向雜誌爆料他的私事的人,還是一次次設計把他帶到飯店房間裡的人,那些情感收束起來都寫著扭曲的「喜歡」的字眼。117Please respect copyright.PENANAHGRpZK4ppa
「喜歡」也好,「愛」也好,雖然知道那些詞背後蘊含了美好的事物,但那都只存在於他以外的世界裡。117Please respect copyright.PENANAkgqwqgoYv0
117Please respect copyright.PENANAyew6AzUZ3d
因為「喜歡」,所以想知道,因為「喜歡」,所以想破壞掉。117Please respect copyright.PENANAdiCbgzliNb
「喜歡」到底是甚麼呢?美麗的解釋和刺痛的記憶一同浮出,他剛相信哪邊才好?117Please respect copyright.PENANAIb0H2IW4pF
117Please respect copyright.PENANAz6L2Ug1n3p
「喂,リンドウ,你在這裡幹什麼。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAIknradhyiQ
——把腳張開……117Please respect copyright.PENANA22FKxj4THK
117Please respect copyright.PENANANV7OiBDsyK
身體不自覺地想閃避聲音的源頭,未經允許的回想起早已遠去的疼痛。117Please respect copyright.PENANAryk9W4hSxK
117Please respect copyright.PENANAEwEw1e2Noq
冷靜下來,沒事的。117Please respect copyright.PENANAWVN9fXGh9U
リンドウ看著有些驚訝的黒曜,深吸口氣強迫自己放鬆下來。117Please respect copyright.PENANAFLlYF22pqJ
117Please respect copyright.PENANAyUDNvjtFcs
沒事的,沒事的,我有好好藏起來,只是出了一點小意外而已。117Please respect copyright.PENANAArddG4MgAb
藏在手裡的信被捏成小團,恐慌壓縮成小塊,他眨了眨眼,熟練的收拾好表情。
連自己都保護不了甚麼的,已經是很久以前的事情了。117Please respect copyright.PENANAalfZ8rubbR
117Please respect copyright.PENANAEn6Ik6VLqR
117Please respect copyright.PENANAHa1FB4mzTe
「如果因為你的事情,而被牽連出其他見不得人的嗜好的話會很麻煩的。」那人將幾張照片扔進碎紙機裡。「所以從明天開始你就會從這個業界裡消失。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAkdm1UGX3Cn
117Please respect copyright.PENANAxCEImx4ik3
這個客人是個收藏家,正當著リンドウ的面將他那些收藏品銷毀。117Please respect copyright.PENANAuSvGFeadtt
117Please respect copyright.PENANAztJ7oLRLuo
「不過,說到消失也有很多種方法,有希望麻煩的源頭離得越遠越好的人,也有準備了項圈和地下室在等著飼養你的人。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAp0zE7Iobdd
117Please respect copyright.PENANAREiUpFs1XY
リンドウ坐在床上,用手碰了碰圈著脖子的皮革製品,莫名覺得好笑。117Please respect copyright.PENANAhiyqyQmDZk
117Please respect copyright.PENANALOy36pEzLQ
「您也打算飼養我嗎?」117Please respect copyright.PENANAeYaglL5TCQ
「怎麼會呢?你是個聰明的孩子,知道我們不會在這時候丟著你不管。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAf1AyWvBNFg
117Please respect copyright.PENANACunDFyewHU
潛入最深的夜裡,沾上夜晚的吻痕,當有一天他被人曝曬在陽光下時,那些親吻過他的人也將無所遁形。117Please respect copyright.PENANAGNdE8v8iep
這是他所能做的唯一的算計。117Please respect copyright.PENANABsAWyqwUur
117Please respect copyright.PENANAp4ZZlWQkE8
「你姐姐已經被轉到我熟人的醫院了,我也準備了不會過問你過去的場所,只要你安安靜靜的待在那裡不出來就行了。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAyqyZXr0Qv0
117Please respect copyright.PENANAROIVqGZaQZ
「這不就是飼養嗎?」117Please respect copyright.PENANAWJes0aAmfN
「但籠子比較大不是嗎?而且也沒有項圈。雖然你經紀人那裡不歸我管,但我有辦法讓他找不到你,這樣你就該滿足了吧?」117Please respect copyright.PENANAgzsJLZvVcm
117Please respect copyright.PENANA279aO3hzrf
滿足?117Please respect copyright.PENANAyO0FgE4uim
117Please respect copyright.PENANA0FHt78V3dr
在他消失之後,那個人也只是受到些輕微的懲罰,在給人送上新的年輕祭品之後,又會回到原來的樣子吧?117Please respect copyright.PENANA61QnyA2pdo
他只是狼狽的逃走,將更艱難的路留給下一個替代他位子的人而已。117Please respect copyright.PENANA0ax64PoOI9
117Please respect copyright.PENANAlwJDwHLFaV
滿足?117Please respect copyright.PENANAqxlsizOq1Q
117Please respect copyright.PENANA0kiRfuEhgB
「你會乖乖聽話的對吧?在關於你的收藏品都銷毀掉的現在,連你本人都得銷毀掉的話,我會很心痛的。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAYKB8VZVq9R
那人跩住皮帶的另一端,將項圈收緊,一邊說著「愛」,一邊將氧氣從他身上奪走。117Please respect copyright.PENANAxByIM2uiMB
117Please respect copyright.PENANAYFrLCE3Ag5
來做個保險吧。那人朝他晃了晃錄音筆。117Please respect copyright.PENANAwTZ7JBTapL
「說你愛我。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAAlWXnPMLxV
117Please respect copyright.PENANAxveLwpEsvs
「我……愛您……」117Please respect copyright.PENANAhcSqStNlca
117Please respect copyright.PENANA4ly6BH4Fzs
沒事的,沒事的……117Please respect copyright.PENANAgY8x76uRLH
今天之後就能得到解脫了。117Please respect copyright.PENANAmKNbZiLG6g
117Please respect copyright.PENANA7sfPvS2Mdm
——從那些「愛」著我的人的手中。117Please respect copyright.PENANAD2Id3O8osn
117Please respect copyright.PENANAsTPwPQEPxg
「在我去見你之前,你可別逃走喔。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAbdR1L5JAyR
沒事的,那個人到不了這裡,就像他無法離開這裡一樣。沒事的。117Please respect copyright.PENANAnv6dvBiTJ7
117Please respect copyright.PENANAc3J4sNAuPq
「沒事的,リンドウ……」117Please respect copyright.PENANAVkWPIIXNyQ
117Please respect copyright.PENANA5pBmhxFtbz
熟悉卻又喚不起名字的聲音和自己的話語重疊。117Please respect copyright.PENANAlZWnkhG1hv
那是只屬於他的謊言,一旦由他人說出口,那些事似乎就會真的變得無關緊要起來。117Please respect copyright.PENANAbfdHa6oNcM
117Please respect copyright.PENANAtgcJNX7LWk
「才不是……沒事……」117Please respect copyright.PENANAtJf0gtKkgk
喉嚨裡蓄積了無數個夜晚的鮮血,沒能填補胸口的空缺,只是黏稠的附在聲音上,在口中動彈不得。117Please respect copyright.PENANAysYy7pVQx4
117Please respect copyright.PENANAWHUKzwTpNq
才不是沒事,別對我說這種話。117Please respect copyright.PENANAFYIBiiejsN
想大聲咳嗽,讓那些透明的血液從話語身上離開——117Please respect copyright.PENANAuSvorQkZC3
117Please respect copyright.PENANAAfIqHvoP85
救救我。117Please respect copyright.PENANAwDpPui592s
117Please respect copyright.PENANAwQPdgEzq5i
「這樣啊,リンドウ能說出來真是太好了。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAKaLaupIGoC
117Please respect copyright.PENANAv5UuJ1M6IY
再多說一點也沒關係。117Please respect copyright.PENANA5RNuV7F5XT
一隻手溫柔的撫摸著他的頭髮,會不會突然用力的拉扯髮絲,將更多他所害怕的事物擠入身體裡呢?117Please respect copyright.PENANAcMIpTlFWL4
117Please respect copyright.PENANARjSSWXFdoF
「不想說也沒關係,如果リンドウ這麼期望的話,我就再多等一會吧。」117Please respect copyright.PENANAwGiVxgE0EK
117Please respect copyright.PENANA0jOipHYJj7
天就快亮了,在那之前做個好夢吧。117Please respect copyright.PENANAoHc2Xi1mgS
那隻手反覆的,輕輕地拍撫著肩,他細數著,擔心會不會在來到某個數字時將他重重打醒。117Please respect copyright.PENANA337xVEtCUc
117Please respect copyright.PENANAL5VQ0KQQn2
數著,117Please respect copyright.PENANA3CFw6Uu5u6
數著,117Please respect copyright.PENANARvhj9gbE0r
數著,117Please respect copyright.PENANAVIfKg6wXH7
數著,117Please respect copyright.PENANA000SDBKzc1
數著……117Please respect copyright.PENANAGw4MIAKMI6
117Please respect copyright.PENANAt0M30Kgu8n
連做過的夢都不記得,只是害怕,期待,顫抖,融化在足以將雲霧撥開的溫暖裡。117Please respect copyright.PENANAeVAQQbAq04