hewo~! okay, anyways. idk what i'm doing but have fun reading, i guess.
1. recall your most embarrassing memory263Please respect copyright.PENANAkhaLH8ZSOF
okay. welp, this is going to be weird to write about. okay, so, i was in 5th grade and i had the audacity to sign up for the talent show. so, i signed up and i went to rehearsal, right? i cried in front everyone at rehearsal. then the next night, we had a night where all the kids in the talent show performed in front everyone's parents. what did i do? i cried. again. then the next day, we peformed again but it was in front of the entire school, including my crush. mind you, i was wearing this ugly dress and i thought i was cute. then we were back in that era where we thought the orange justice dance was the shit. so, muy friend was shy and she was dancing so i went out onto the stage with her and danced sicne for some reason, i knew the entire dance to the entire song..? then my turn came and i had to put the ugly dress on, i went on stage and started to sing rise up by andra day and what did i do, once again? i fucking cried. yep. in front of my crush and everything. life sucks, mate.
2. think about the last time that you laughed until you cried. 263Please respect copyright.PENANAwCgWWe2ODf
that had to be like yesterday. i think i laughed at something bunny said and then started crying because it was so funny. maybe it wasn't yesterday but it was damn near last week or something. eh, idgaf.
3. write a story about what would happen if your day went in reverse. hint: the story would begin when you were in your pajamas and ready for bed.263Please respect copyright.PENANAu81rYszcfM
*acting like a vlogger on youtube from 2016* hi, guys. so, i'm in bed right now. i can't get back up for a few more hours because of my schedule. *a few hours earlier..?* okay, hi. i'm in the bathroom right now taking my clothes off and using the shower. *after shower* i'm putting my clothes back on now. hold on, ms. shi! i'm getting undressed. --- omfg, i can't do this. it's too weird.
5. what was the best joke that you heard during the last week? what made that joke so funny to you?263Please respect copyright.PENANAeJ4t6kAW8I
the funniest joke to me in the past week was said on saturday when we were at barnes & noble. lovely, bunny and i were sitting in the little kids section, reading when out of no where lovely said, 'are you eleven protons because you're sodium fine.' and i stared at her. then i realized what she said and i started cackling.
6. make a list of your favorite puns.263Please respect copyright.PENANATQQei3geE6
i might seem lame right now but i don't pay attention to puns...
7. write a movie review about the funniest movie that you have ever seen.263Please respect copyright.PENANAJfiFFrEi3l
*acting like a famous journalist* hello, my name is alex ugliana. today i am going to write a movie review about the movie- i give up. i'm not good at explaining things without spoiling it.
8. pretend that you are going to be performing a stand-up comedy act for your friends and family members. write a draft of what your act might sound like.263Please respect copyright.PENANAJMqE4zu3XE
hehe, okay. *clears throat and gets accent ready* *using "country" accent* hey there, y'all! my name is alex and i'm here tahday tah tell yeh fellers about the trump family! i believe thet man, donald trump, was a good president. and that's not jest becuz i'm caucasian and african amurican. i swear tah yer, he was a good man in my eyes. omfg, i give up. wtf am i writing? *yeets self into dumpster*
9. consider something that you are most scared of, and then write a story about a character encountering that fear. make sure the character has a reaction to their fear that is so exaggerated it becomes funny.263Please respect copyright.PENANAW4qZki5qff
okay, lemme try this. i'm scared of the dark. lemma alone. omg. anyways-- genevieve walked into her home late at night. "i knew i shouldn't have gone to that stupid 'get together'." she groans --bitch wtf--. her house was pitch black. she couldn't see anything as she took off her shoes. she tried to flip on a light switch. it didn't work. she tried over and over again. "holy fuck, did i pay the light bill?" she said --shoulda never sucked dick for free, genevieve. omg, i'm going to hell-- she digs in her pocket for her phone. she turned on the flashlight. she walked through her house, heart beating like crazy, mind running at what could've caused her lights not to work. she walks past the couch and the corner of the couch grazes her thigh. she screams bloody murder. "oh my fucking god!" she screams and runs through her house like a little bitch. she runs into the kitchen counter. "ouch!" she yells. she goes for another light switch. it doesn't work either. she screams even louder. she runs to her room and flips on the light. she breathes a heavy sigh, seeing the darkness disappear from the light. --you know what? i declare gore!-- then a blade stabs into her neck. she gasps and chokes up blood, holding her neck. she bleeds all over her carpets. thoughts are running through her mind. am i dying? eh, i don't care. oh my fucking god! there is blood on my carpets! wait- who stabbed me? she turns around and there is the dark behind her. she falls to the ground and dies. you know, i liked where that went. morbid as fuck but who gives a shit. i liked it. i'm weird. anyways-- NEXT~!
10. how would you describe your own sense of humor?263Please respect copyright.PENANAU5rNwnXdaK
i would descibe my sense of humor to be kind of morbid, kind of crazy, not really that funny but somehow funny to other people. i think i'm a crackhead that doesn't do crack....make sense? yeah? okay, bye.
11. write a list of funny excuses that you could use to get out of doing your homework.263Please respect copyright.PENANAO9NZDJM3Ra
okay, bet. number one - so what had happened was, i didn't really know what to do so i gave it to my mom and she got angry with it so she gave it back to me and told me to get the fuck out of her room so i went to the mall and got on the airplane and drove to japan and then i biked to south korea over the sea and i dropped it on my way to south korea. so it's in the ocean between japan and south korea. i mean, feel free to look in the ocean. i hope you don't drown. *silently wishing for them to drown* *smiles all inocently* number two - my pet dragon at it. number three - i got free tickets to a bts concert with backstage tickets and i needed the paper to make a poster for bts. number four - i cried and got it all wet and then my little brother got hungry so i fed my brother my homework for dinner because i was depression and did not feel like cooking. number five - wait- we had homework? oh my god, was that what i used to pick up my unicorn's shit? i'm so sorry! number six - i lost it in zamunda. you don't know what zamunda is? oh my god, it's in africa. what type of social studies teacher are you? what the fuck do you mean, 'why was i in zamunda'? i was studying, idiot. number seven - i was sick and i used the paper as toilet paper. don't ask me what sickness i had, you icky nasty, oh my god! you disgust me. okay, lemme stop.
12. write a funny short story in which the main character is your alter ego/you.263Please respect copyright.PENANAMJRvbWPDVa
funny? mm. i'll see if i can do it. so first here is my ego or aura, whatever. i'm nice, sweet, funny, "pretty", adorable, friendly, sometimes ghetto especially when i'm mad and i seem very social but i really don't like people. so, my alter ego would be someone who absolutely the opposite except for the fact that i'd still be funny and ghetto. story (btw this'll be like when i first moved here so jazzy won't be in this): i walk down the stairs of my new group home. all the heads turn towards me. the staff, bunny, gorgeous and kitkat. they all look at me, wide-eyed. i sigh, heavily and walk towards them, not wanting to get to know them. "hi." gorgeous says. "wassup." i say, sliding my hoodie on. omg, i give up. i can't do this lmao.
13. have you ever tried to use your own sense of humor to impress someone? write about whether or not your jokes worked their magic.263Please respect copyright.PENANApWrlliWzMU
i mean, yeah, mate. how do you think i have emmi? she likes me because i'm pretty, funny, loud/energetic, and i kind of don't care what people think about me.
14. think about an inside joke that you share with a friend or family member. how did that inside joke come to be? 263Please respect copyright.PENANADVZ0vD4XFO
bet~! me and bunny were just doing it. free real estate. i walked up to her one day and slid my hand down her arm and said that in a weird/seductive way and ever since then, it's been a thing. we were just trying to explain it to her boyfriend, lion. and yesterday, we were watching a movie and the thingy said in a british accent, 'and i'm greedy with the soup.' so now, that's a thing. we have too many inside jokes. i make too many jokes.
~~
i guess i'm doing those question things again. emmi looks sexy today, holy shet. anyways--
~~
full name? - lady leilani waterton of dogde charger.263Please respect copyright.PENANAMvHwUxvrH2
girl bestie? - coco <3263Please respect copyright.PENANACxdkStz465
boy bestie? - idek anymore. i need a boy bestie.263Please respect copyright.PENANA23KKZOlMsK
age? - seven years old.263Please respect copyright.PENANARRLnaKCBAG
last person i texted? - idfk.263Please respect copyright.PENANAKzmdZ3RbuT
last person i called? - probably my little brother.263Please respect copyright.PENANAVFirmXizXO
current crush? - my girlfriend, emmi, tf?263Please respect copyright.PENANA6i5BDNanf6
random fact? - i like food.263Please respect copyright.PENANAg5V35qYFuI
single or taken? - big, fat taken.263Please respect copyright.PENANAwG0Xzk1wLt
favourite quote? - if it delicious, it's zero calories. said by wwh.263Please respect copyright.PENANAsa8rsfy0xi
first kiss? - bitch wtf?263Please respect copyright.PENANATUVRB9ynTy
ever smoked? - nope.263Please respect copyright.PENANApsH6F40g4X
ever done drugs? - nope~263Please respect copyright.PENANACQGDfadR4H
ever been drunk? - i don't drink.263Please respect copyright.PENANAm6KLqGH1yd
longest relationship? - five and a half months.263Please respect copyright.PENANAqqwWPhOWNB
pet peeve? - my little brother. his entire existent. but i still love him.263Please respect copyright.PENANAJVBGBu7KuE
eye colour? - brown. my little brother's eyes are really pretty.263Please respect copyright.PENANAwat9T8zoRF
birthday? - 1930.01.01-- nah, i'm playing but no one needs to know my birthday.263Please respect copyright.PENANAgYPHUsZGsC
obsession? - kpop.263Please respect copyright.PENANAjXtkO1PS1D
do you give second chances? - that depends.263Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1xaVV4YEa
play any sports? - no, bitch. the hell do i look like?263Please respect copyright.PENANAsYNSjQeiik
dream job? - kpop idol or just a singer in general.263Please respect copyright.PENANATOMe6KzI8G
day or night? - idk.263Please respect copyright.PENANAFdzF8zcyni
your idea of a perfec date? - idk.263Please respect copyright.PENANAkWC7EiKLVO
sing in the shower? - yes, motherfucker. i throw whole ass concerts in the shower.263Please respect copyright.PENANAcemQj0e8Az
favourite colour(s)? - purple and black.263Please respect copyright.PENANAflaEfgIcCx
any tattoos? - nope. i'm lame.263Please respect copyright.PENANA1ExlvckoOq
any peircings? - yes, in my ears.263Please respect copyright.PENANAYmtURSrrUM
favourite movie(s)? - idk.263Please respect copyright.PENANAb8Qr5nF3yv
current mood? - bored and tired.263Please respect copyright.PENANAaHZzuEjbwq
jealous of? - a lot of things.263Please respect copyright.PENANAFk6ILo6ezQ
place you want to visit? - south korea and cambodia.263Please respect copyright.PENANApoRdNu0X9Z
pets? - two dogs.263Please respect copyright.PENANAeEek087Zs5
last song you listened to? - spring day and currently listening to crystal snow and trying not to cry. so far succesful in not crying and the song is ending.263Please respect copyright.PENANAJnaQaAE1M0
favourite number? - seven.263Please respect copyright.PENANATQr2s9oreg
nicknames? - vanilla, alex, suga, steph.263Please respect copyright.PENANAscYp8DKPc3
siblings? - 5 older sisters and 2 brothers.263Please respect copyright.PENANATzVEq5lscT
afraid of the dark? - yes.263Please respect copyright.PENANAFRPHghhwTE
one wish? - to be happy for real.263Please respect copyright.PENANAOewr8UEssG
something you want to do!? - live life. vibe, you know?263Please respect copyright.PENANAAhKwqBLu7H
~263Please respect copyright.PENANAOozMxldqHY
full name? - mind your fucking business, damn.263Please respect copyright.PENANAyVz9YEXFxP
age? - i'm still seven years old.263Please respect copyright.PENANAZvhMLnKQWT
idols? - bts, stray kids, blackpink, kamla harris, etc.263Please respect copyright.PENANADVWgXH2kS1
something you hate about yourself? - my body.263Please respect copyright.PENANA50e8KROm4f
something you like about yourself? - idk.263Please respect copyright.PENANAdrO64w2Y5i
someone you hate? - jason derulo and donald trump.263Please respect copyright.PENANAr6Ltf5FgaX
favourite band? - bts.263Please respect copyright.PENANAU5xgwebY4A
say 'sexy' what do you think of? - that time when stray kids was still nine members and they were roleplaying. felix was a grand father and he has this old man voice and it was still sexy but funny. but that's not it. he said sexy instead of saekshi, i guess and woojin corrected him and felix kept saying saekshi over and over. oh, i also think of bts and just-- agh!263Please respect copyright.PENANAMT4XKfn3Xd
ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend? - no, of course not.263Please respect copyright.PENANAb1ghKBvJMI
where do you want to be right now? - idk. south korea.263Please respect copyright.PENANAmGwBb4E7yy
girl crush? - emmi.263Please respect copyright.PENANAIHVXCHhhE9
boy crush? - bts. plural, bitch.263Please respect copyright.PENANAaxBthut72u
an embarrassing memory? - look at this top ^263Please respect copyright.PENANARkSGRnpdsn
talents? - singing.263Please respect copyright.PENANAkwJCIT8vxf
soemone i miss? - my step-mom.263Please respect copyright.PENANAimcGcCd7vv
someone i love? - emmi.263Please respect copyright.PENANAVC9olKXue8
my future goals? - idk. graduate school. succeed in life, i guess.263Please respect copyright.PENANAIX8jcUhjuG
a confession? - i am not ninety-one years old.263Please respect copyright.PENANAMQYRrSGSye
something i'm addicted to? - love and affection even though i don't get a lot of them. oh, also, drugs! yeah, no. i'm playing.263Please respect copyright.PENANArkYkKgjrOX
favourite animal? - dogs.263Please respect copyright.PENANA0oIh72HsNR
favourite tv couples? - weiyoung and touba jun. minde and di. jin-wook and yu-mi. spongebob and sandy. probably more but i don't feel like going through them all. 263Please respect copyright.PENANAsjQJ2DrRHH
ships? - namjin, jikook, taekook, sope.263Please respect copyright.PENANANs9WdrgnEg
worst movie you've ever saw? - i don't remember what it was called but it was just terrible. i was so cunfused.263Please respect copyright.PENANAWUXJtan0sJ
what's your biggest wish? - to be a singer.263Please respect copyright.PENANAnZlklx00PT
bad habits? - hitting people out of affection. being sarcastic.263Please respect copyright.PENANAUeHV04UjG8
food you hate? - pineapple pizza, school luch fried chicken because that chicken be fake and disgusting. caviar. 263Please respect copyright.PENANAAH8PFfvjs7
hair colour? - brown. i'm ugly as fuck so when i say i feel sexy, ignore that shit.263Please respect copyright.PENANA3ecdXqYPCZ
favourite kind of ice cream? - cookies & cream and chocolate.263Please respect copyright.PENANAUdZ6fftkxU
~263Please respect copyright.PENANABpLYrnGzxl
gender? - oppa attack helicopter and/or female.263Please respect copyright.PENANAXpIFmEuxvn
country? - i don't live on earth. 263Please respect copyright.PENANAVoXT5UbM7c
languages you speak? - lunarian, trigedasleng, english, tiny korean, sorta french, kinda spanish.263Please respect copyright.PENANAwEMeKPhpis
last lie you told? - that i'm pretty.263Please respect copyright.PENANAnsTRSW9Fze
favourite subject in school? - english language arts.263Please respect copyright.PENANAgW2ilss5hg
most expensive item you own? - a pair of vans.263Please respect copyright.PENANAEfIxoyjflo
country with your favourite accent? - australia.263Please respect copyright.PENANAUny1y8jNpp
do you have any children? - i was about to answer like, bitch wtf, no. but i do. li minde, touba jun, touba yu, cheng de, li weiyoung, jun tao, bai zhi, jungkook, jennie, lisa, ni-ki, all of txt, jasper from the 100, etc. i have a lot of kids.263Please respect copyright.PENANAwz39k8Ub9b
dog or cat person? - both.263Please respect copyright.PENANAFOeWwrO0zu
first kiss? if so, what age? - yes. thirteen years old.263Please respect copyright.PENANAuWreUpzClG
do you live in a house or apartment? - nosy, i declare. i live in a house. damn.263Please respect copyright.PENANAstjAUrhQyr
do you belive in God? - idk.263Please respect copyright.PENANAn6ZlcmuqYl
single or taken? - taken.263Please respect copyright.PENANAhjQQZAeNBk
favourite body part of the opposite gender? - well, damn. heh heh. nah, perverts. torso and hands, omg. *dies*263Please respect copyright.PENANA491N7zdar1
birthday year? - 1930.263Please respect copyright.PENANARZyyuk93FH
celebrity crush? - holy fuck, dude. i have a lot.263Please respect copyright.PENANA3qYp3Re1hc
age? - what's that?263Please respect copyright.PENANApy3TYs4wTh
enthinicity? - african american.263Please respect copyright.PENANAd9Ep7rrHA0
tea or coffee? - neither.263Please respect copyright.PENANAosz7cTgFVp
random skill you have? - i can make people smile.263Please respect copyright.PENANAozf3a0EOAJ
prefer hugs or kisses? - i mean, both. *slow motion walks looking stupid as fuck*263Please respect copyright.PENANASuuU93Lc0L
favourite food? - ice cream.263Please respect copyright.PENANAUZajTsNvNg
last person you saw naked? - myself, you fucking icky nasty. 263Please respect copyright.PENANA0Ma3mWSECz
shared nudes? - damn, people are nosy but yes.263Please respect copyright.PENANApsYuEqpRKX
eye colour? - the rainbow. get on my level.263Please respect copyright.PENANALLWrcQzMSY
favourite soda? - sprite.263Please respect copyright.PENANAiheonmpia8
biggest pet peeve? - people being people.263Please respect copyright.PENANAtSz2btcw6R
can you swim? - yes, wtf?263Please respect copyright.PENANASutAaNMSCF
favourite song at the moment? - 19 by stray kids but that could change every 2 seconds. honestly i don't think i have a favourite song.263Please respect copyright.PENANALrdpNfexZz
do you watch porn? - no, but i have with my cousin and her friends because we wanted to see the tony lopez leaked video so we searched porn hub. one thing went to another and we ended up seeing an apparent james charles leaked sex tape and then my cousin and her friend sat there and watched a bondage for like an hour while me and her other friend decided to cleanse our eyes with bleach and protect our assholes.263Please respect copyright.PENANA7qcIJGEFgw
virgin? - yes, omg. nasty.263Please respect copyright.PENANAvGuhe3nFdh
favourite social media platform(s) - twitter, weverse, snapchat.263Please respect copyright.PENANAzcf33juASL
colour of your current bed sheets? - weird question but, uhm, they're grey...yep *nodding*263Please respect copyright.PENANAodyjl8C6ab
apple or andriod? - apple.263Please respect copyright.PENANAa1fRvM9imf
best dessert? - mochi.263Please respect copyright.PENANAkNBAtPAsJE
~263Please respect copyright.PENANAUSJ8zqo5j5
have you ever:263Please respect copyright.PENANAvpXUqXvdkz
1. skipped class? - yes.263Please respect copyright.PENANAyFv0ZXGka5
2. done drugs? - no.263Please respect copyright.PENANArsfSEAMi6t
3. self-harmed? - yes.263Please respect copyright.PENANAaJN5HFs1Sa
4. drank? - no.263Please respect copyright.PENANAtQ6lyQEYVZ
5. shoplifted? - yes.263Please respect copyright.PENANA9c2f7AZvjV
6. gotten a tattoo? - no.263Please respect copyright.PENANAdCJPlNA3BX
7. broken up with someone? - yes.263Please respect copyright.PENANAZq2DbQXvmc
what's your favourite:263Please respect copyright.PENANA8OTjzckKps
8. show? - the princess weiyoung.263Please respect copyright.PENANAeP7wANpxVZ
9. movie? - break the silence.263Please respect copyright.PENANAcBEmNqwVjN
10. song? - idk anymore and i just answered that, like, 5 minutes ago, omg.263Please respect copyright.PENANAXGPnIP75iQ
11. artist? - bts.263Please respect copyright.PENANArtufREavK7
12. singer or band? - bts.263Please respect copyright.PENANAiYcJAjIdJ8
13. memory? - idk.263Please respect copyright.PENANAVswLK4wsX0
14. book? - the cruel prince.263Please respect copyright.PENANAnNM3CJ3p1a
this or that:263Please respect copyright.PENANA6ewLSEMW46
15. invisibility or ability to fly? - fly.263Please respect copyright.PENANAYlrEJfZURW
16. cookies or cake? - cookies.263Please respect copyright.PENANAw3WDrOZsr2
17. twitter or facebook? - twitter.263Please respect copyright.PENANALOPacSplYu
18. movies or books? - idk.263Please respect copyright.PENANApr4IdXF2Ep
19. coke or sprite? - sprite.263Please respect copyright.PENANAXPSMDj1cHj
20. blind of deaf? - blind.263Please respect copyright.PENANADmCNCsT4lS
21. tea or coffee? - neither.263Please respect copyright.PENANAVOwRgk4hQE
what's your:263Please respect copyright.PENANAQwOUIsLF7a
22. age? - ninety-one.263Please respect copyright.PENANArXQ3Mmh0ya
23. zodiac sign? - virgo/libra cusp.263Please respect copyright.PENANArLru4wSWga
24. height? - 4'11.263Please respect copyright.PENANAB8PiVlOCRG
25. sexual orientation? - bisexual.263Please respect copyright.PENANAJCDGmKyGll
26. shoe size? - seven.263Please respect copyright.PENANAPnfjT6otRA
27. religion? - i'm not religious.263Please respect copyright.PENANAdeL0I3OFI5
28. longest relationship? - like, five months.263Please respect copyright.PENANA7cSc7lEbJV
opinion on: 263Please respect copyright.PENANACs0VRPeo9I
29. gay rights? - i'm gay...263Please respect copyright.PENANAYCPRkT7aRZ
30. second chances? - it depends.263Please respect copyright.PENANAG0WVw36G3z
31. long distance relationships? - don't get hurt, baby.263Please respect copyright.PENANAYN2IsRKr4D
32. abortion? - ew.263Please respect copyright.PENANAwi60z0aubf
33. a death penalty? - ew.263Please respect copyright.PENANA2MXtHgsEDW
34. marijuana? - i likes that.263Please respect copyright.PENANA0sfaJ6tM9W
35. love? - what's love?263Please respect copyright.PENANAQpDyEGScXH
do you:263Please respect copyright.PENANAyDVUH1SdBH
36. belive in ghosts? - sorta kinda.263Please respect copyright.PENANAUsjTtKyaL4
263Please respect copyright.PENANALQYAec364m
omg, bye. i'm tired of this.
- Alex <3263Please respect copyright.PENANAkevJeXrRX6