每次想及那傢伙，他心裡難免生恨。可是恨不了多久，恨意自然而然會被無奈與無力取代，彷彿不曾生起。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2n6P1gXPC
輕嘆一聲。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQESwwTNbOW
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMUb3PTk0e
媽媽的身影忽地浮現腦海。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrkaWVYRcM
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXi5bfvhe8d
她是個不起眼的女人，普通得他早已忘記那張臉。只記得她怕熱，喜在夏日穿寬鬆短褲散熱，露出一雙細長白腿。他常趁著媽媽在露台忙於晾衫時，從後環抱她的大腿，把滾燙前額緊貼被清風吹得微微發涼的幼滑皮膚上。嘻，消暑妙法。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVR5eq5JBL
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjudQJUTV1
以為這做法可以持續至小學畢業，或是直到他世故成熟得無法繼續假裝天真。誰料媽媽突然拋下一句「感情變淡」，離家出走。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJKdKCbCZX
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKujASKwOY
他反覆思考何謂「感情變淡」。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWdGfxTjrD
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoKKBhGGlR
茫無頭緒，直至那傢伙有意無意向他指出重點：變。「感情」，對媽媽毫不重要，否則她不會狠心如此；「淡」是相對而非絕對，若無經歷過對立的「濃」，「淡」其實不是問題；由濃轉淡的過程稱為「變」，也就是問題癥結所在。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDG955czBUL
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStJv62iywM
為何會變？如何變？可否不變？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmODhsxVam
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMnfSJVGS5
他百思不得其解。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhxUHoqNWc
再聲輕嘆。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmQjdt0qeF
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLbXYY1CGP
阿杰的身影忽地浮現腦海。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJy4AaixOFI
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokf16t76c6
舊同學聚會裡，他和阿杰並肩而坐。昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，努力尋找共同話題。阿杰唇邊盡是紅酒遊艇名錶，他只記顧商場即將在週末舉行的購物優惠日——妻子叮囑他務必買下保濕精華和優惠裝尿片。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaKDlSI2gz
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc2dFf9Q2d
真懷念往時。他與阿杰一起為那些不值一哂的天大課題感到煩惱：學業、夢想、籃球、愛情、人生規劃……後來那傢伙教曉他——一切變幻莫測，根本不由自主。無力與無奈令他深深體會自身的無能。他妒忌，妒忌阿杰仍在那個未醒的夢裡。阿杰察覺到他的妒意，露出一個輕蔑笑容。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3ZvOLcCg1
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoddSw6aRQ5
昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，不再努力尋找共同話題。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICpeBB66hp
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAx6scOHkH
緣起緣滅，不由自主。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qM8QrrRrO
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSj2EKYR2zW
既要緣滅，何必緣起？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiY3Bnvj50u
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMJ7c0AKa3
他百思不得其解。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AiGaeFP1s
輕嘆有三。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmTMOdZ6aq
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqYFIGvwt0
自己的身影忽地浮現腦海。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyFZcQpD24
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGJ1XfVJEo
身影有前無後。難怪，少有留意自己的背。妻子笑說他背部有七痣，像北斗，可導航。他苦笑，笑自己人生無方向。因為自己看不見北斗？只好抬頭望天。天無星，難打卦。無卦，有掛，掛心的掛。掛甚麼？不知道，總覺得人生缺失了甚麼。甚麼甚麼？不知道，難以言明。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8DAAvlh9z
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaK4Jo1RSW
鬱悶。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IPK6zNPT2
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1MK3X7ox2
懷念媽媽的腿，想要抱抱。懷念阿杰手中的籃球，想要奪走。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneMgaB5abx
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXQOchxKhj
去抱！去奪！411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYmtEd6Rah
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抱甚麼？腿已不在。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxDTo44qxh
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTgEDQS7UT
奪甚麼？球已不在。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLnVtF9xF3
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aHThltF50
為何不在？為何統統不在？411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaQ7BWmqSQ
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5rtbrQ7yQ
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbhgu1UNAG
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbhevHZvWO
停下來！411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18uh5XQgov
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcCJhmfqfR
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCk2JCECoJ
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeXJNzghMM
慢下來！411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYPE7t0PbH
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RP84faSrx
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsOlUbRGNh
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvuCaewgEK
他只得拼命追趕。走馬看不見花，花開花落馬不知。馬累馬停，他累他停。回頭一望，是天不是地。何時開始背朝天？不肯定，許是拼命追趕期間、忘記自身當刻。竭力抬頭，盡力挺身。不果，只得餘生躬背望地，無法望背望星。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrbBuj4FmX
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJ0HjYmcVi
孫兒笑問他為何腰背變躬，他答背上擔子過重。孫兒受驚拒絕背負擔子，他說無法選擇，人人不由自主。孫兒再問何解不由自主，他道是變幻莫測之故。孫兒三問為何會變、如何變、可否不變？他答不出話來，淚目凝視孫兒。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZpwC8OME9
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UF4khrggp
昔日的他，今日的孫。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0mDGpfWTu
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OKBhxazcL
永劫，輪迴。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgLlxYA19k
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphv4rx7jSn
不敢思，不求解。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82Vbcit4pV
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXVm8EjSo4
嘆，嘆，嘆。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLAITxvROB
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQORUcwoGl
孫兒問他是否有煩惱，願為他出謀解決。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxyMKEBbKDs
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboPNiHBd2g
他搖頭。411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2wt5ZZM0H
411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHm4okRmouX
深知世人永遠無法解決那傢伙。
註：此篇會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》第八十一章411Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhNymy5FB8
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