每次想及那傢伙，他心裡難免生恨。可是恨不了多久，恨意自然而然會被無奈與無力取代，彷彿不曾生起。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ531ISz1TSq
輕嘆一聲。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlWPRTAhKW
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrQoK6uqIz
媽媽的身影忽地浮現腦海。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQQIzzQgRt
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYnDAZ93SU
她是個不起眼的女人，普通得他早已忘記那張臉。只記得她怕熱，喜在夏日穿寬鬆短褲散熱，露出一雙細長白腿。他常趁著媽媽在露台忙於晾衫時，從後環抱她的大腿，把滾燙前額緊貼被清風吹得微微發涼的幼滑皮膚上。嘻，消暑妙法。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQe2o2KOvY
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzqITFJ2qr
以為這做法可以持續至小學畢業，或是直到他世故成熟得無法繼續假裝天真。誰料媽媽突然拋下一句「感情變淡」，離家出走。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0E5R3Io5S
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLSru3G9lD
他反覆思考何謂「感情變淡」。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCwwrso0r7
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZZZpVyT16
茫無頭緒，直至那傢伙有意無意向他指出重點：變。「感情」，對媽媽毫不重要，否則她不會狠心如此；「淡」是相對而非絕對，若無經歷過對立的「濃」，「淡」其實不是問題；由濃轉淡的過程稱為「變」，也就是問題癥結所在。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xlQ1lM99o
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5NUN3h6Nz
為何會變？如何變？可否不變？189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkooG5yWC4
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSO2lJW0Bt
他百思不得其解。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUN8D7lapr
再聲輕嘆。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzWR1YiyWr
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfByt8Nxyy
阿杰的身影忽地浮現腦海。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRnDuTs46p
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2f5gM8WvKs
舊同學聚會裡，他和阿杰並肩而坐。昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，努力尋找共同話題。阿杰唇邊盡是紅酒遊艇名錶，他只記顧商場即將在週末舉行的購物優惠日——妻子叮囑他務必買下保濕精華和優惠裝尿片。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3psxvNOpQQ
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpahmCjv3n
真懷念往時。他與阿杰一起為那些不值一哂的天大課題感到煩惱：學業、夢想、籃球、愛情、人生規劃……後來那傢伙教曉他——一切變幻莫測，根本不由自主。無力與無奈令他深深體會自身的無能。他妒忌，妒忌阿杰仍在那個未醒的夢裡。阿杰察覺到他的妒意，露出一個輕蔑笑容。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ420OLbBh9Y
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHKkW0ecpc
昔日無所不談的摯友相顧假笑，不再努力尋找共同話題。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmGr7i8xsj
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40iFYXgYaB
緣起緣滅，不由自主。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjV1h1VPxU
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZ9NlYCMIV
既要緣滅，何必緣起？189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhi8SjQs2C
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGeNULcZIa
他百思不得其解。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUUBRgquzE
輕嘆有三。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZG8vqmknp
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTFbNh2fFA
自己的身影忽地浮現腦海。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUo1kJGo3qr
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoc7ElMiUes
身影有前無後。難怪，少有留意自己的背。妻子笑說他背部有七痣，像北斗，可導航。他苦笑，笑自己人生無方向。因為自己看不見北斗？只好抬頭望天。天無星，難打卦。無卦，有掛，掛心的掛。掛甚麼？不知道，總覺得人生缺失了甚麼。甚麼甚麼？不知道，難以言明。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32PseiWkiC
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSjVKSOOi6
鬱悶。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1cmkuJMWa
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZlCqUePUN
懷念媽媽的腿，想要抱抱。懷念阿杰手中的籃球，想要奪走。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplAmAPfPYc
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPl0PNKIeQ
去抱！去奪！189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLH3YeeidIc
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGD5qHEBKyu
抱甚麼？腿已不在。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSGELNnN9k
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHDI5vHyfQ
奪甚麼？球已不在。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDdD54uqM8
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2yVrsc701
為何不在？為何統統不在？189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwqUgIFxqn
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDV2QTLhxd
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JseNsxExt
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhI7G8RSRRw
停下來！189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfaotfwKCn
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ABHQy1yqT
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUM0xUJ1Ev
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRu8jl5MyI8
慢下來！189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGV105Jz3Q
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ly10sqjEC
那傢伙沒有回答，繼續前行。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEiYrxANSJ
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhwDkchbEY
他只得拼命追趕。走馬看不見花，花開花落馬不知。馬累馬停，他累他停。回頭一望，是天不是地。何時開始背朝天？不肯定，許是拼命追趕期間、忘記自身當刻。竭力抬頭，盡力挺身。不果，只得餘生躬背望地，無法望背望星。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRNzde2iKK
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkl9YtAwWA
孫兒笑問他為何腰背變躬，他答背上擔子過重。孫兒受驚拒絕背負擔子，他說無法選擇，人人不由自主。孫兒再問何解不由自主，他道是變幻莫測之故。孫兒三問為何會變、如何變、可否不變？他答不出話來，淚目凝視孫兒。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATSkBYiwkO
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRlt8mugg1
昔日的他，今日的孫。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZK2WVauqMg
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVUcDt1mH2
永劫，輪迴。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyR2t6yhObs
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWq4ZOjCeL4
不敢思，不求解。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyraOZK23EI
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkSlMqBYLg
嘆，嘆，嘆。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaP8Lw1d40g
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhnwkc0OcO
孫兒問他是否有煩惱，願為他出謀解決。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7a7ZlW3sc
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgBb2BflVk
他搖頭。189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7001cmJ0qY
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymDOF8phWO
深知世人永遠無法解決那傢伙。
註：此篇會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》第八十一章189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPnLZ23j0g
189Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAbowTrNUC
