Day 50
I'm in love with the Beast.
As referenced in earlier entries, the Beast is nothing like he first seemed. if you had asked me when the ferocious owner of these lands first appeared fifty days ago, if I thought it possible to have affection toward him, I would have laughed (and probably cried) hysterically.
This is not what I signed up for.
For the first time in my life, I feel seen. I thought that was all I had wanted, to be known and desired, but it has placed me in a vulnerable position. It's terrifying, but there's a sweetness to it, like a delectable poison apple.
Three days ago, he showed me the library. The room was bigger than any home I have visited. How had he known I loved books? Am I that transparent? No. If I were, I wouldn't be the town's outcast.
During lunch yesterday, he accidentally knocked over his glass, spilling water over my open book and the tablecloth. I used my napkin to wipe up the mess before my book was ruined and in my haste, our hands brushed. We didn't move away. And as our gazes met, I instantly forgot about everything except the way his green eyes took on a vibrant emerald hue in candlelight. It sounds crazy-no, it is most certainly beyond belief- but I'm probably the only one in the world that knows the Beast has handsome, princely eyes.
Which only begs the question: who is this Beast?
G expects an answer by dawn, but I don't know what to tell him. I only know that my mission has run its course and I have failed to uncover the truth behind this enchanted castle and its equally enchanting owner.
The only lead I have is a rose. It sits idly encased in glass on his bedside table. I saw it the first night I spent out of the dungeon when he stumbled upon me and threw me out of the castle. I may have forgotten to mention it before, given I wasn't exactly in my right mind after being attacked by those demented wolves, but the rose was glowing and the Beast seemed overly protective of it.
I'll work up the nerve to ask him about it tonight. I doubt he'll tell me what it is though. The Beast is a secretive being. A fact that is as irritating as it is compelling.
Did you know he has a sense of humor? No, I suspect I glossed over that particular trait in my denial. But he does. He's made me laugh more in my few months here than I have in the last ten years. Of course, I'm still his prisoner, but he's more of a friend than my captor.
Friend doesn't sum it all up, either.
I can't explain it.
When I'm around him, he makes me forget his outward appearance and causes me to feel a kind of affection akin to passion and-
I think he's human. Not because of what I just said above, but it's the only thing that would make sense. Most of the townsfolk are illiterate, but I have read books that have documented a kingdom from these lands. A kingdom that doesn't exist. Several of them list names of a forgotten royal lineages, but when asked no one from town could remember who they were or what happened to them. The last known royal I remember being listed had been born just a little more than two decades ago.
How could no one remember losing a prince much less an entire royal family?
So, I think this enchantment has somehow affected their memories as well as this castle and those residing in it- including the Beast.
If I'm wrong, perhaps something darker is at work here, but if I'm right that would mean loving the Beast could very well get us both killed.
If G finds out this castle belongs to the royal family and that they could return in the future and reestablish their reign over the land, he would want to see it and everyone associated with it destroyed. He wants to rule the town, which was why he tasked me with coming here and uncovering the truth of it all.
I pen this knowing how much danger this confession puts me in, but I'm tired of being controlled by fear. If he hadn't threatened to have my father thrown out of our farm for unpaid debts against G (who had hiked interest rates nearly twice the loan amount itself) I would have never agreed to any of this in the first place. A foolish, silly part of me had believed myself to be heroic at first. I had pictured myself as a heroine from one of my favorite books storming the castle walls, tricking the infamous Beast, and saving the townsfolk from the nightmares that lurked beyond the Forbidden Wood.
There's still time. I can yet figure out the mystery and return to G and save my father.
But there's only one problem.
I'm in love with the Beast.
ns 172.68.245.32da2
