天亮，上班。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEY3inAFI7R
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujdqbLWUKL
擠進人山人海的車廂，心竟是難得的平靜。看著人們專注把玩手中的電子玩物，我心中更覺異常的安全。畢竟，好不容易才能擺脫熟人的注意。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooMttziG1X
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wutYX0Tzb
車廂一如往常，平穩中帶輕微搖晃，教本已帶睡意的乘客更為昏昏欲睡。有些嘴饞的人不理會廣播的呼籲，繼續進食，令人側目。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2rX8k7dBd
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OkPBC7JtG
食物的細碎，像沙子一樣，在人們毫不注意的情況下，悄然掉在地上，再被無意地踏個粉碎。在接著的數個車站，人們再肆意加以踐踏，令碎粉再度粉碎。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYOquZhx4n
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUmPnTzTte
到站了，我有意無意地繞過人羣，「不經意」踏中那些有數隻小蟻的食物碎粉，心中是一陣少有的快意。幕門關上，我回頭望進車廂，想要看看被我蹂躪過的碎粉，但列車經已開駛。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡArYpfTevQE
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSiLLm2XCy
看不見，罷。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvOUKspaDk
天黑，下班。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixUj8bsGmF
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Dem3YaTCT
身心俱疲。好不容易才與同路的男同事擠進車廂，繼續講上司的壞話。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCeNRJMse8
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHE50oU3yIj
「有蟻。」男同事突然指著快由我鞋面爬到小腿的一隻小螞蟻。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wtLmvofaf
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RCajq7FNT
我呆了。腦海中一片空白。不！有一個很遙遠的身影。那是誰？我看不見……我不想看見……273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlPTpmpIs1
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2l5HFvroEf
「啪」的一聲，男同事一手拍在我的小腿上，那隻螞蟻——扁了。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduC8VXcCRL
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7srV9Uj9BF
「沒事了！」他笑了笑，問我：「你很怕小昆蟲？」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQWuAawqQA
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBW5hWn5WbO
「不，只是怕蟻。」我感覺到，我的唇還在顫抖，但卻仍勉力一笑。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDlrEJYXDs
公司，午飯時間。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguBX6eXm8h
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeXwX4hHnY
甲小姐正在上網看劇；乙先生在打盹；丙小姐外出吃飯去；丁先生仍在享用他那巨型飯盒；戊小姐……273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3yfvM25D6
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamuOwKQHC4
看著同事們的百態，我突然覺得自己和他們一樣，都是很渺小的生命體，小得……有點兒……像……螞蟻。這是我最不想要看到的事，尤其是發生在我自己身上。大家營役勞碌，不也是只為求兩餐溫飽嗎？那與盲目求存的螞蟻有何分別？273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Bao5GaxRL
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7RCmgh691
驀地，我看見一隻螞蟻在我手背上路過，卻沒意識去按扁它。我把手輕輕放在枱面上，讓它自然而然的爬走。看著它在牆角消失，我感到自己也消失了似的。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtvaePF7mB
其實，真正的我只是一隻螞蟻，不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己變成人類，過著那荒唐無稽的生活。那種生活，是有目的的付出，有希望的付出。每天朝著那所謂的「希望」跑，多奢侈！無他，這就是意義。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5hNeVhNyY
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcB54qS1EI2
還是……273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNuAWR1ums
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIRGZ4ts0Y
其實，真正的我只是一個渺小的人類。不過會偶爾做白日夢，幻想自己是一隻蟻，過著那種沒頭沒腦的生活。那種生活很乏味，只懂一味尋找食物。無他，這就是生存！273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpuB7jFliK
公司，工作。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmdsE0qgD5
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaz27QtwVg
被上司罵個狗血淋頭。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BtsDxbgD2
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTmfB1d6zm
大家心知犯錯的不是我，奈何人是怕事的，只好把我推上斷頭台。事後，一句道歉或安慰也欠奉。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVhNt8hDvw
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvn4zo18c0C
很難過。我只好躲進廁格稍作自我冷靜。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3J3iANA1X
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa3TvO3qWW
剛巧，一隻螞蟻經過廁格。我毫不猶豫一腳踏扁它。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJqAwxl1t8
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Vp52ztQgo
快意，笑了。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAgkq3z4L1
酒吧，喝酒。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjcsq6hCDU
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcvxgj24mb
「你不是只怕螞蟻而已嗎？為何現在也怕酒起來？」男同事笑問。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaMRwPXcDa
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6qwqGL3u9
「其實，我不大好喝酒。」我怯怯的道。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsVfmp8Wv0
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdy4XKMVdVl
「還是……你根本不會喝酒？」他哈哈大笑。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66tTLL4pzj
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF02dnkEaSg
聽著他那豁然開朗開朗的笑聲，我突然變得不大抗拒，乾脆把小杯裡的酒一飲而盡。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2djwNyO7J
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozNFwJBspT
醉倒。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTcBOog2xF
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfk2TXNDOgG
迷糊間，我看見男同事以螞蟻姿態爬上我的身體，不停遊走於每吋肌膚。他似乎沒停下來的意欲，想要到它的洞穴去……273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡim03A0I8Lq
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJPVguZuab
「上天取走你的一扇門，定會留給你一扇窗。」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm3TzAYz9k
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIc4zMOYT5
今趟，上天留給我一隻螞蟻。我給其取名為「男朋友」。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1971htvgq
假期，醫院。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aHVxPkhyw
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7pv6hyGWK
媽就在這間醫院裡。她患了甚麼病，還未明確，因為報告要待下星期才會完成。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3F6z4ZYfd
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2r8mXL05uz
看見媽的時候，家中各人都是淚眼漣漣，很憂心。這種氣氛令健壯的人也難免感到窒息。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkAVG1nrsZ
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1tBdlhjL4
「我覺得……」近幾天，媽的話都變得斷斷續續：「自己……」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcSdnD1Vy5
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufjpzNy0rC
大家都屏息靜氣，深怕這是她的最後一句話。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojcYdRMuHi
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEDbaV8A1g
「自己是……一隻螞蟻……」她的聲音，輕如柔絲，但我知道大家都聽得很清楚。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUebP2SFXz
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6kRFXlNRg
死寂。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9B5nNY0des
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQrolXpVS2
出乎我意料，這竟是她講得最清楚的一句話，不論是肉體還是心靈上。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DOozHqUz1
回家，晚飯。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aweTNKK6m
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTHRldUSuz
一枱六椅，異常的沉默。電視的聲浪，掩不住大家的咀嚼聲——大家口中的食物似乎比鋼鐵更硬。我裝作不以為意，繼續吃。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVx6U34lwsO
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fqo6NtPHs
「很難吃。」爸突然放下筷子：「不如外出吃飯。」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKfnBpyDEv
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmbFZtgZSZ
妹放下筷子衝進房內，甩門；姨低下頭來，但她盯著枱上菜餚的怒目卻仍清晰可見；婆呆了，眼眶紅潤；我默默望著對面牆身上一隻偶然經過的螞蟻。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobj6a5wUoc
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wEfJXDE7g
我心想：世界末日來臨後，地球會否只剩下這隻螞蟻？273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRHLPv8PoW
每次望著媽，心中都生起莫名的感覺。我的腦海裡浮現出一隻螞蟻的模樣，彷彿她根本就是一隻螞蟻。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejHxFhKMC7
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFF2Wa6B41
一隻螞蟻在做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……多可笑！就是因為她是一隻螞蟻，所以我從沒有幫忙做家務的念頭，去減輕她的負擔。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYL5f6im0Y
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWovT5JwyfP
久而久之，我每次一見到她，便會掉頭走。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3LeXWVWeq
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gMNbJVxC5
但我知道，我永沒能走遠。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLicx3krCXB
男友家，床上。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljwLGyTmSW
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSwCDMRb7v
前奏後，男友進入極度興奮狀態，沒注意到我正在放空自己。在他還在我身上冒汗之時，我的思緒又飛往遙遠的他方去了——産房。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrFCwADgZf
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibmijcJOmB
産房內有一張床，床上有一隻非常細小的蟻后。她痛得不得了，是産婦們口中的十級痛楚。那表示，她要生産了。不消一會，整張床上都是幼蟻，恐怖非常。但她的身體卻沒停止的意識。現在幼蟻已攻陷整個産房、整間醫院、整個世界。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ly77Ep6gD
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMe9PAhOSN
我驚恐萬分之際，耳邊傳來蟻后的淒怨聲音：「他朝君體也相同！」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrZSZsFiek
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaj3YjrW5C
床上的我驚叫。男友以為我也感到興奮，於是更用力……273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxyIpJeYBa
舊生聚會，內地某酒家。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNE3BQ797lL
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SbouxjhXz
說也奇怪，舊生聚會竟會選擇在內地舉行。聽聞是聚會發起人的主意，說會給我們驚喜。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIviPZINpN
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzM9l2a9f3W
「蟻宴？」我呆了，但逃不了。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOPyviyOku
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6cOxaCnE0
「你有收看《天與地》嗎？」舊生甲吃一口紅蟻炒蛋。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpPxHFuRU2
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBu1M0tF2Y2
「有。人吃人那幕很震撼！」乙滿口黑蟻殘肢。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0NmhyBlYi
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNfO51ugSB
「結局何如？」丙一口氣喝下半碗白蟻湯。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiZ4tcNcct
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUv7lhXoIVo
「沒好下場！」丁邊說邊給我一碗黃蟻糖水。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiYd7yiHvY
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnK2bP5l0I0
「對！沒好下場！」我在心裡重覆著，衝到洗手間嘔吐大作。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtH2tCj75sD
男友有很多恐怖的寵物：蛇、蜥蝪、蜘蛛……每次做愛時，他都會放一些寵物在床邊，以增加他的性趣。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxaHg9qOT1
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrVJEZCb1p
今趟，床邊竟無任何寵物的蹤影。我暗喜。完事後，我不經意的問道：「你的寵物呢？」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLY7cQxxHG
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYf4RuCWYb
「在你體內。」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZDa2uoTJO
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlakmS7m7kb
「甚麼？」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5vuFkAUQo
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAeh1zrZD9
「蟻。」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPN7FZUkEG
有一隻螞蟻住在我心內。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEIaK2t5qX
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH4dFuOJfg
它平常會做甚麼？做菜煮飯、洗衣拖地、燙衫抹窗……嗯，它會做的事真的很多，但從沒理會過我的感受。它憑甚麼闖進我的心、我的生活！它最好立刻消失！273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpmY3yYG7T
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNHmbx7h6Z
結果，我生命中其中一隻螞蟻真的消失了。我依稀記得它的名字是「媽」。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAwxXdQZdq
靈堂上，我一再向來賓欠身鞠躬。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkQQsXx2Tw
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGfDIBYI4z
「她真的死了嗎？」某君的聲音傳到我耳邊，但我心知那不是靈堂裡的人。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfApQzXGfy
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvem4vxs3m
「誰？」另一聲音反問。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQ673gKtvU
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZE8XsuSeH
「二九三號表妹。」某君不耐煩的道：「她……」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkF5JQ3ATR
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrmpZaSosI
靜。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdMpIR9Nkq
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnltFRaq5K
我回過神來，低頭一看——我剛不經意踏扁兩隻小蟻。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDKoVXt5od
我：「我的耳朵有毛病嗎？為何會聽到螞蟻講話？」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bkQYWyQ9z
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiClC3rGv6m
醫：「不。是你的壓力過大，導致有幻聽。」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWzbPjAnwT
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsJlGznfvH
我：「我有精神病？」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknXieasK6o
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrI6UEz371
醫：「是情緒病。」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSRMV4Tr7Z
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kok0IPnxS
我：「怎麼辦？」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZZtbxHL40
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIK00XbnOxK
醫：「我會處方一些藥物，你要按時服用；另外，你也要多休息……」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9SnIsI58B
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNC36uVkWfB
我：「謝謝醫生。」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunwRsSlRXG
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngrIbGXQHB
醫：「不用謝。」273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QP2KVIQ21
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyhpkakPk1
離開診所時，我回頭望一望地上的廣告牌——「馬義專科」。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnOOlx04is
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ917Wzgx083
不，我走近細看，是「虫馬虫義」專科。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5hIDjoCFs
總覺得體內有東西在蠶食著我。是蟻？273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WBtzpmPty
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17SqHOo7i7
醫生替我作身體檢查，一切正常；273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPqCmmIafR
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZQaeCZihQ
男友向我解釋，螞蟻之說，純粹幽默；273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56kVxhRywS
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxu4yieT2Iw
同事都勸我休息，減少工作量；273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQynQ9xi4N7
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6AHbRiFk4
……273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwsrFJXWNf
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDk92we7DES
「真的有蟻在我體內！」我尖叫，奪門而出，從天台一躍而下，肝腦塗地。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVw5cSEO7KR
273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWyHhSnqvw
臨死前，我看見那東西了——不是蟻，是……
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》。若此舉違規，煩請創挑主通知，願刪文。273Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK2wFdgAZx
