溫如冬按停嚇人的鬧鐘,起床。她在鬧鐘響前已經醒來,躺在床上看天花,好像,愈看愈暗。264Please respect copyright.PENANA9dhiOVMqTw
264Please respect copyright.PENANAwab2KsMMd0
穿上米色毛衣,她的身顫一顫抖,那是不夠暖的,可是好看比其他外套一點。264Please respect copyright.PENANAbm9EN8HJ7u
264Please respect copyright.PENANAVkh9ZRt4oK
她乘校巴上課,進課室後,坐到邊緣位置。264Please respect copyright.PENANANzr2ZnK2QS
264Please respect copyright.PENANA2JQm7sjTgO
這是大學通識堂,其實她早就讀完,但見這個課程頗有趣,便選擇、順利讀上。她打了一個不着聲色的呵欠,聽課、抄筆記。264Please respect copyright.PENANA1J8F194LwI
264Please respect copyright.PENANAFrIXJVI5Xu
老師很喜歡說外語,某某學家的名字是德語,但他寫在白板上的則是英文,連同他的著作。但坐在最右邊的溫如冬,看不清楚左邊白板的字,尚有螢幕遮蓋。她艱難地將頭伸過去,還是看不到。264Please respect copyright.PENANAFaQXAI7xgx
264Please respect copyright.PENANAKbfOah8sVu
隔了一個貼着「Please don’t sit」的座位,旁邊的是一個男生。264Please respect copyright.PENANAztjNg6tFY0
264Please respect copyright.PENANACNva5PevXe
他遞過自己的筆記:「你個位睇唔到呀,我抄完借你啦。」264Please respect copyright.PENANAU6BnnnX0tw
264Please respect copyright.PENANAkiaB5BNo4e
「哦、哦,好,唔該晒。」264Please respect copyright.PENANAViKtfVxMuJ
264Please respect copyright.PENANAH89cj9nRhy
每當老師在白板上寫字,這男生揮筆幾下後,便會將筆記遞給溫如冬。他的字很好看,似一套剛勁的腳法。264Please respect copyright.PENANARBsFZn4fV2
264Please respect copyright.PENANANICsYPqrUv
他們沒有再說過話,一直都如此交流。直到他掏出一張便利貼,連同筆記遞給她;便利貼上寫:264Please respect copyright.PENANAQig9BpbYH1
264Please respect copyright.PENANAaUaHcZW4RH
「你叫咩名?」264Please respect copyright.PENANAeqZMfylxUq
264Please respect copyright.PENANABx9XXWjX8V
「溫如冬。」她遞回去。264Please respect copyright.PENANAk1PWrgg1fX
264Please respect copyright.PENANATNEow2qMlD
「我叫Wall。你咩major?」264Please respect copyright.PENANAqQSilSlXpG
264Please respect copyright.PENANAWv0MdFHUdf
「文研。」她寫上梁匡生的主修科目,不由得怔了一怔;與他已幾天不見,十分思念,但是單思無用。264Please respect copyright.PENANAkBCnm9zY7j
264Please respect copyright.PENANAGm8t7k8Kzp
「冇見過你嘅,我都文研。」264Please respect copyright.PENANADc8mDpbiST
264Please respect copyright.PENANA6n7jTfIW45
溫如冬抬眼看Wall,與他對視,又將目光放在老師上。Wall再沒有給她遞便條紙。264Please respect copyright.PENANA9q2ujzZ6Tg
264Please respect copyright.PENANA3BYuowaYe0
下課時,Wall問:「你自己一個上?」264Please respect copyright.PENANAvb14D6LLTQ
264Please respect copyright.PENANANwmjtege87
「係。」264Please respect copyright.PENANAc8WORBaGGW
264Please respect copyright.PENANAcTqNjKbGHA
「交換個ig?有咩都可以搵大家幫手。」264Please respect copyright.PENANAebRJDF9SzV
264Please respect copyright.PENANAaIZsCPXTFy
「Err……」264Please respect copyright.PENANAiwrMMAuZtI
264Please respect copyright.PENANAuhCdow0f4u
「下堂我哋會再見㗎嘛,反正都會一齊上堂,識個朋友冇壞。」他說。264Please respect copyright.PENANASPz1jn4IUE
264Please respect copyright.PENANA5LhHmQygKg
於是,他們真的互相追蹤了對方的Instagram。甫出課室,溫如冬便習慣性地搜刮Wall的帳户,她見到梁匡生,準確點說,是梁匡生的用户名稱,Wall發佈了限時動態,是與幾個男生一同打遊戲機。264Please respect copyright.PENANAjby6ZlfJ13
264Please respect copyright.PENANARA8vuIJEN6
噢,他們同系,就算是機友也不足為奇。264Please respect copyright.PENANA1H9NuNlXsq
264Please respect copyright.PENANAO2leYxGg9e
溫如冬繼續「Stalk」Wall的帳戶,尋找梁匡生的蹤跡——認識她前,打機;認識她後,打機;被她表白後,打機……她洩氣於自己的出現和離開沒有為他帶來任何改變。264Please respect copyright.PENANALe4kjXkTyo
264Please respect copyright.PENANAXbGYUITK5N
她表白後的幾天至今,與梁匡生還很偶然地聊天。264Please respect copyright.PENANAEkfje0J3B7
264Please respect copyright.PENANASbOUxEu5YE
梁匡生頗關心她,時常傳一些Memes給她,或者問她:「你OK嗎?」264Please respect copyright.PENANA0Peppas5gw
264Please respect copyright.PENANAqAFj54TdVt
每次她快要哀愁完了,一看到他的訊息,身子又變軟。264Please respect copyright.PENANATc266fYdkn
264Please respect copyright.PENANAY0UhVGdQ1G
她不OK!不OK!誰人表白失敗會OK?264Please respect copyright.PENANAP0GOjuz8uI
264Please respect copyright.PENANADTr9MC59AP
說來可笑,她對他有點期望,以為若然她主動,他會試着考慮,或者不會堅決拒絕。她又不算太失望,始終她一開始故作瀟灑,表示渴望自由而盡興的關係,如今忽然反悔,也算她飄忽。這種互為拉扯的掙扎每日都使她懊悔——為什麼要表白呢?溫如冬,你將一段舒適友誼破壞了!264Please respect copyright.PENANAARWrOCzVJJ
264Please respect copyright.PENANAijwqz3Sjwe
但她現在沒有心情想這些,只覺得很失落、很失落。264Please respect copyright.PENANAfwTC16vgp3
264Please respect copyright.PENANAM0tTWl26DY
每日,她都假裝若無其事:「當然OK,strong㗎嘛。」可是,精神不振。264Please respect copyright.PENANA4xP6ZYssdf
264Please respect copyright.PENANATNmtB2NWxe
溫如冬告訴梁匡生:「我識咗你個friend喎,叫阿Wall.」264Please respect copyright.PENANADHwNDsVHWk
264Please respect copyright.PENANAwItbC0R1UY
即使被拒絕了,仍然忍不住靠近——梁匡生於她是有這樣的魅力,她是傷心沒錯、空虛沒錯,但是如果和他聊上一會兒的天,她的難過又未至於完全蠶食她。264Please respect copyright.PENANAtWOkmS7RF8
264Please respect copyright.PENANApDUXTd1G3A
無法灑脫地就此離去。和他,是朋友,一直都是,她為什麼要走呢?264Please respect copyright.PENANAzxoJhwZLzn
264Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9RHIHq480
「點識?」264Please respect copyright.PENANAwqCsInkwyf
264Please respect copyright.PENANAah0WknxiRo
就算裹足不前,亦不應轉身前奔,對吧?她依然貪戀與他相處時的快樂,即使不再曖昧,但是,自然地相處時的那份隨性輕鬆,不必然要因她的心意而消失吧?264Please respect copyright.PENANAomW2966xht
264Please respect copyright.PENANAtHBvWEh3PA
「同學,換咗ig,見你同佢打機。」她回覆。264Please respect copyright.PENANAuX2TeQCLXO
264Please respect copyright.PENANAciNrGKEl2U
「你點解同佢換ig?佢媾女王嚟,好危險㗎!」他秒回。264Please respect copyright.PENANAdaaGaIkbwv
264Please respect copyright.PENANAwZX4N43f7p
「吓……有咩危險?(張口哦的表情)」264Please respect copyright.PENANA4pzrIG2VLn
264Please respect copyright.PENANAFY2oKB1kwy
「我驚你畀佢呃咋。」264Please respect copyright.PENANAkwfwY4ygJP
264Please respect copyright.PENANAJDT3GyYuCs
「嗯(張口哦的表情)?」264Please respect copyright.PENANA3tlwkNUsog
264Please respect copyright.PENANAIhfr6wBFij
「我可能冇資格講(垂頭低眉的表情),但係,你唔好信佢。」264Please respect copyright.PENANAQDH9BTAdmX
264Please respect copyright.PENANAlOp8DRDnBC
溫如冬的臉上終於有笑意,這些天來,她終於感覺到梁匡生的關心是真實的、由他本人出發的,而非一堆預設她的情緒而敷衍的安慰。264Please respect copyright.PENANATMptdJJpm2
264Please respect copyright.PENANAjkVpzCxg7J
他是在乎她的吧?可是為什麼,只能止於友誼呢?264Please respect copyright.PENANAKP4FaMTO0e
264Please respect copyright.PENANACjN1l83cdM
她無法對他生氣,但止𣎴住地怨恨自己。264Please respect copyright.PENANAfq1MXFeXiS
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbRaF2zQx1Q
如果沒有動情,今早,她可能會在他的懷裏醒來。不、不——她又想:如果沒有動情,她根本不會投入他的懷裏。264Please respect copyright.PENANAYz9Iv9kL3n
264Please respect copyright.PENANAPWgEmhcRxv
梁匡生又說:「我想見你,呢幾日一直諗住你。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAOKOUVh2hEF
**
264Please respect copyright.PENANA0Q1DZ11vXw
分組作業的時候,由於他沒有和相熟的人讀同一個課程,便四處找人組隊。他選擇容貌姣好的女同學,禮貌詢問,卻被禮貌回絕;他又主動找了其他人,但最後只有他最初不希望同組的人願意收留他——只消如此,他便悶悶不樂,一整天死氣沉沉。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAhih9Zmctsq
他沒有來由地想起溫如冬。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAFLNUMmwJMa
有關習慣這回事,一直都非常玄妙,常言21天或66天就會習慣一件事,所以,這成了好多人實現目標的其一指標。
264Please respect copyright.PENANASP8VHY5suM
梁匡生反覆思考與溫如冬的關係。
264Please respect copyright.PENANA2WynHuxAsG
她已如此勇敢。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAgot1hikWiR
開口表白、給予退路、願意等待、假裝無事、表現開朗——這些是他本人也做不到的事情。以往要麼女神一早抗拒他,要麼他在表白失敗後大受打擊、鬰鬰不歡。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAUCRhr88hWn
溫如冬令他感到驚喜,不止在於她的心意,而是她的表達。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAHyOy2v79Ic
「咩事,而家先flirt我?」 她回覆他。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAxqo0tMZeyr
「唔係……唔係愛情嗰種曖曖昩昩。」他又繼續講:「純粹係,掛住你。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAv81CZxjtAg
她說:「唔係愛情,咁係咩?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANApy0zHYpoBq
「唔知。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAN0WvwQnjBC
「哈,我係好正,但我唔想理你,彈彈。」溫如冬瞇眼,什麼叫想念而不是愛情?
264Please respect copyright.PENANADCvyGExbPg
他是清楚她喜歡他吧!這樣似是而非的話,只會令她沉迷更深。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAKqtgVCBZ2u
梁匡生說:「唔好啦。(嗲嗲表情)」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAvYyxxQQSju
溫如冬對他是無法有硬心腸:「講五個掛住我嘅理由?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANA7DQrcDHEl7
「幾日冇見——我覺得呢一點,好似已經足夠。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAi9BAq2O07G
「但唔係愛情。」她自嘲。
264Please respect copyright.PENANARqgNd3Wm4p
天氣依然寒冷,但又不至令他睡了十小時後留戀被窩,可是如果有個人與他相擁,他就會覺得這天是冷得剛好。她悄悄地揣測他的想法,也許是需要人陪嗎?
264Please respect copyright.PENANA1kaE87qB7s
264Please respect copyright.PENANA2KqsthmWxo
「我希望你開心,我冇辦法畀到幸福你,但如果你繼續用朋友身份同我相處,我好歡迎。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAlD3rsoDWih
梁匡生後悔自己拒絕了她的表白。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAruRjH6WdEa
雖然是她作主動,但他也因此有份改變了他們的關係。友達以上、戀人未滿的迷霧全被吹散,只得兩塊醜陋孤單的石輕輕靠近,他們心比眼清澈,其中一塊渴望將自己融成其他物質,另一塊卻被嚇怕,滿足於冷硬的體溫,感嘆迷霧真好。
264Please respect copyright.PENANA9gCeAUzgKr
溫如冬不開心:「頂你,講到尾就係friendzone我。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAEQ2OzyqiO0
可是,他並不後悔沒有與她戀愛。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAetBENQbWJu
「唔係……」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAzIC10o93U9
梁匡生說不清,但是自從送她回宿舍之後,仿佛她以後只能被他送到門的千里之外,他不再有任何與她親近的機會。他清楚,此行之後,她將會愈行愈遠之後,於是忐忑不安。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbtUcjjNlpH
他不一定想她留下,但絕不想她離開。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAWd1RgICwlF
溫如冬沉不住氣:「不如今晚食個飯,嚟我度外賣。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAfcW7Y38vXh
她知道他不喜歡她。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAxz4EAHhXLt
但是,但是,他說思念她——這至少代表,她很重要是嗎?他是在乎她的,但不知如何整理思緒是嗎?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbTqLEPFVDu
管他呢。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAzl1aarTFKP
溫如冬不管了!不管了!不要再假裝瀟灑、堅強、無所謂,他可是頗了解她的人。何須,她理會對方是否真心鍾愛她?現在,是她很想見他!她告白的本意,從不是斷絕二人關係。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAsUeyLoqfBd
「真係可以?」梁匡生問。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAytkhWY3Y64
「我哋以前都係咁啦。」她的意思是:我同以前一樣想見你。
264Please respect copyright.PENANATU6vfji1re
梁匡生沒有開口:我哋以前都唔係咁啦。
264Please respect copyright.PENANA1FH75Dwy7y
「See you。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANANlx6cfbYhz
他跑去上主修科的堂,收起電話,與朋友聊天,慢慢將「分組」的不快忘記。
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**
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbxTxHKw6Yd
晚上,溫如冬和梁匡生一同攝手攝腳地進入宿舍,她依然走在前方,確認廚房和走廊沒有人,才讓他內進。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAwjmOK1bVyP
264Please respect copyright.PENANAUJk4qVTVmg
她不想讓其他人知道,自己帶一個不知如何稱呼的人上房。早一陣子,她尚算寬心,因為當時他是「可能的未來男友」,如今他是「只能是朋友」。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAFkA8fhk0ee
呵——說什麼世界變壞,只願放大一刻情感呢?由頭到尾,她只想被愛、感受被愛;恰恰不慎愛上這種錯覺,於是,無法感受被愛。
264Please respect copyright.PENANABroakKfBci
二人吃着兩餸飯,互相交換餸菜。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAAFFL8aScvx
咀嚼的嘴巴一直沉默,真到見面的時候,溫如冬卻不知道還有什麼好聊,她只想說愛他。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAlVpKNWvIYV
然後,梁匡生忽然餵她吃一口雞柳,又說:「Sorry。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAhMECvGB9zV
她呆呆接過:「食飯又sor咩ry?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAGvHqxaJI1N
他提着筷子的手一直掛在半空:「我係咪唔應該搵返你?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAmo43gdIUEw
「咩係搵返……你冇一日冇搵我。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAuc5nAS12D2
「意義唔同。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAAdVbCw9y0P
她靜靜地看他;他續道:「我好自私。我唔知點解面對呢一件事,淨係覺得唔想冇咗呢段關係,好似已經慣咗你喺度、會喺度。我知道唔啱,你應該要平靜地搵一個更啱你嘅人,而唔係畀我干擾。但係……我真係唔慣。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAi74ad9GVEK
「你突然咁坦誠嘅,」她笑笑:「到我唔慣添。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAV8Tdzz6Ti2
內心咆哮着,溫如冬控制表情:那你想怎樣呢?你又不要我等,現在又想我在你身邊?她的胡思卻有種悲壯,終歸是一種感恩。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAgiuDGAEDrH
她不願遠離心上人。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAIWA57ZHtUw
「妖,我好認真㗎。」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAyBhhi0CfJA
「得啦得啦,攬。」她擁了擁他的肩。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAC0PhJ7vbWy
氣氛變得輕鬆,二人又分享近幾天遇過的趣事,似一切從未發生。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAcADQLKxxuo
264Please respect copyright.PENANAijbLtv59D5
洗澡之後,他們坐在床上玩西洋棋,溫如冬是新手,才剛知道各棋的前進與食棋規則,梁匡生便不斷讓賽,使她不斷回棋。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAN6dfr9b4dm
這棋局快將完結,她抬頭得戚地看他,因為剛剛吃了他一隻棋。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAd67CsCUtXq
他也剛巧看她,應該說,他覺得她的表情和神態老早比這實力不對等的棋局精彩。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAAk1WUFEJnx
為什麼呢?世上有那麼多人,她選擇向他展示這一面;世上有那麼少人,他偏不能欺哄自己,對眼前人有非愛不可的衝動?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAx7YpWvCYvP
二人漸漸靠近對方。
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唇是軟稔,氣息是濕潤,手心是激昂,皮膚是滑嫩;髮是飄泊,腳趾頭是掙扎,舌是窒息,腰身是沉沒。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAAFGULuMyXb
那盤棋的皇上、皇后紛紛倒下,沒有勝負之分。
264Please respect copyright.PENANA8U7dtFLECR
溫如冬抱緊梁匡生,欲言又止,還是沒有問他——我哋之後點?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAlT7Q3yI6AU
梁匡生輕輕撫摸溫如冬的背,完全無法思考,他又開始不安,這是衝動了嗎?但是,他好像真的需要她。
264Please respect copyright.PENANABlwKAcMbHI
此刻,她只想與他深深相擁,與未來毫不關連。
264Please respect copyright.PENANAjIfj81ur15
此刻,他閉眼,入睡,明晨再算。
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