溫如冬按停嚇人的鬧鐘,起床。她在鬧鐘響前已經醒來,躺在床上看天花,好像,愈看愈暗。236Please respect copyright.PENANAUp5kxQQEey
236Please respect copyright.PENANAr7dXefQqUY
穿上米色毛衣,她的身顫一顫抖,那是不夠暖的,可是好看比其他外套一點。236Please respect copyright.PENANAdrdQjm6XzS
236Please respect copyright.PENANAIjqo3LEnsa
她乘校巴上課,進課室後,坐到邊緣位置。236Please respect copyright.PENANA3QAFsJNlQe
236Please respect copyright.PENANA36CcOHcd22
這是大學通識堂,其實她早就讀完,但見這個課程頗有趣,便選擇、順利讀上。她打了一個不着聲色的呵欠,聽課、抄筆記。236Please respect copyright.PENANAunacSQjAOb
236Please respect copyright.PENANALk2zDmC0of
老師很喜歡說外語,某某學家的名字是德語,但他寫在白板上的則是英文,連同他的著作。但坐在最右邊的溫如冬,看不清楚左邊白板的字,尚有螢幕遮蓋。她艱難地將頭伸過去,還是看不到。236Please respect copyright.PENANAOzw8sOM5LT
236Please respect copyright.PENANAHhvX2YMTpM
隔了一個貼着「Please don’t sit」的座位,旁邊的是一個男生。236Please respect copyright.PENANABUMZAswnm1
236Please respect copyright.PENANA5b9xoYtH0g
他遞過自己的筆記:「你個位睇唔到呀,我抄完借你啦。」236Please respect copyright.PENANAlN4NUfyKVY
236Please respect copyright.PENANAY8DYn4RjW8
「哦、哦,好,唔該晒。」236Please respect copyright.PENANAVsRYOHXa9U
236Please respect copyright.PENANANPRJJOvMGA
每當老師在白板上寫字,這男生揮筆幾下後,便會將筆記遞給溫如冬。他的字很好看,似一套剛勁的腳法。236Please respect copyright.PENANAlgK5pXrTt2
236Please respect copyright.PENANArI6YqiMO7P
他們沒有再說過話,一直都如此交流。直到他掏出一張便利貼,連同筆記遞給她;便利貼上寫:236Please respect copyright.PENANAkJygMqcaFt
236Please respect copyright.PENANAGC2LCGG1Nl
「你叫咩名?」236Please respect copyright.PENANAfcSn0mRWaE
236Please respect copyright.PENANAdEmHoHsPcc
「溫如冬。」她遞回去。236Please respect copyright.PENANAVNNnG2eJDp
236Please respect copyright.PENANAqmBfKoi4Cl
「我叫Wall。你咩major?」236Please respect copyright.PENANAiq9OZ3QKyR
236Please respect copyright.PENANATKHbQvN5xg
「文研。」她寫上梁匡生的主修科目,不由得怔了一怔;與他已幾天不見,十分思念,但是單思無用。236Please respect copyright.PENANAS0cedAVwnF
236Please respect copyright.PENANAudcehxo9Hk
「冇見過你嘅,我都文研。」236Please respect copyright.PENANA9YbC5xgbUO
236Please respect copyright.PENANAkuMrrCgmX1
溫如冬抬眼看Wall,與他對視,又將目光放在老師上。Wall再沒有給她遞便條紙。236Please respect copyright.PENANAgNJ8Udh6Pd
236Please respect copyright.PENANARad9PvcsKX
下課時,Wall問:「你自己一個上?」236Please respect copyright.PENANA7KdfwPAppF
236Please respect copyright.PENANAx3D73JdXxO
「係。」236Please respect copyright.PENANAloXFOsX7Vv
236Please respect copyright.PENANAngeh7tHAhg
「交換個ig?有咩都可以搵大家幫手。」236Please respect copyright.PENANAwQAaxcmylo
236Please respect copyright.PENANAKkkroTnuoe
「Err……」236Please respect copyright.PENANAEAlNx58BMC
236Please respect copyright.PENANA8dAkZc5wdM
「下堂我哋會再見㗎嘛,反正都會一齊上堂,識個朋友冇壞。」他說。236Please respect copyright.PENANAdg3lBhPqiz
236Please respect copyright.PENANAEzXzvBZKIi
於是,他們真的互相追蹤了對方的Instagram。甫出課室,溫如冬便習慣性地搜刮Wall的帳户,她見到梁匡生,準確點說,是梁匡生的用户名稱,Wall發佈了限時動態,是與幾個男生一同打遊戲機。236Please respect copyright.PENANAMILOz14vU9
236Please respect copyright.PENANAgi3sZstEsH
噢,他們同系,就算是機友也不足為奇。236Please respect copyright.PENANAIqNQSLvgjX
236Please respect copyright.PENANA0lTmJQpVNh
溫如冬繼續「Stalk」Wall的帳戶,尋找梁匡生的蹤跡——認識她前,打機;認識她後,打機;被她表白後,打機……她洩氣於自己的出現和離開沒有為他帶來任何改變。236Please respect copyright.PENANAUUOD99hMlg
236Please respect copyright.PENANAeHVvA0pzkP
她表白後的幾天至今,與梁匡生還很偶然地聊天。236Please respect copyright.PENANAfXVWeWDMRf
236Please respect copyright.PENANA8McWT3Wwsn
梁匡生頗關心她,時常傳一些Memes給她,或者問她:「你OK嗎?」236Please respect copyright.PENANAsnmcWxhxAH
236Please respect copyright.PENANATfSzjcYmsS
每次她快要哀愁完了,一看到他的訊息,身子又變軟。236Please respect copyright.PENANALAGWF54yak
236Please respect copyright.PENANArpPn6ogC34
她不OK!不OK!誰人表白失敗會OK?236Please respect copyright.PENANAsGPU95pSYn
236Please respect copyright.PENANAInSxC4rVKO
說來可笑,她對他有點期望,以為若然她主動,他會試着考慮,或者不會堅決拒絕。她又不算太失望,始終她一開始故作瀟灑,表示渴望自由而盡興的關係,如今忽然反悔,也算她飄忽。這種互為拉扯的掙扎每日都使她懊悔——為什麼要表白呢?溫如冬,你將一段舒適友誼破壞了!236Please respect copyright.PENANA0WhRMubvZz
236Please respect copyright.PENANA5DBfVcOCX1
但她現在沒有心情想這些,只覺得很失落、很失落。236Please respect copyright.PENANAdgHGVmlwRu
236Please respect copyright.PENANAHtDbCpA4mr
每日,她都假裝若無其事:「當然OK,strong㗎嘛。」可是,精神不振。236Please respect copyright.PENANAwi1UN0rEul
236Please respect copyright.PENANAtA654hInr2
溫如冬告訴梁匡生:「我識咗你個friend喎,叫阿Wall.」236Please respect copyright.PENANAaE0BtU6ZW2
236Please respect copyright.PENANAikZJ53gBqH
即使被拒絕了,仍然忍不住靠近——梁匡生於她是有這樣的魅力,她是傷心沒錯、空虛沒錯,但是如果和他聊上一會兒的天,她的難過又未至於完全蠶食她。236Please respect copyright.PENANAFkD0jSGNZG
236Please respect copyright.PENANA8LwGqun9D1
無法灑脫地就此離去。和他,是朋友,一直都是,她為什麼要走呢?236Please respect copyright.PENANAKES3ZTxxv7
236Please respect copyright.PENANAOlvpnDgqY5
「點識?」236Please respect copyright.PENANAYV3vFShKxO
236Please respect copyright.PENANAHq24APF249
就算裹足不前,亦不應轉身前奔,對吧?她依然貪戀與他相處時的快樂,即使不再曖昧,但是,自然地相處時的那份隨性輕鬆,不必然要因她的心意而消失吧?236Please respect copyright.PENANAi4t2C3Nesw
236Please respect copyright.PENANAhkI6JeLu3f
「同學,換咗ig,見你同佢打機。」她回覆。236Please respect copyright.PENANABuJzVsIqKH
236Please respect copyright.PENANAMfHB9jldXt
「你點解同佢換ig?佢媾女王嚟,好危險㗎!」他秒回。236Please respect copyright.PENANAPkhCZHoK7o
236Please respect copyright.PENANAytyLZ9aun3
「吓……有咩危險?(張口哦的表情)」236Please respect copyright.PENANAHfgz71vVCg
236Please respect copyright.PENANA4KVnugbf0n
「我驚你畀佢呃咋。」236Please respect copyright.PENANAPjnUbdqhEL
236Please respect copyright.PENANA5EbyNNtJ0b
「嗯(張口哦的表情)?」236Please respect copyright.PENANAEu7K3UvtOf
236Please respect copyright.PENANAhb5H0ITV1g
「我可能冇資格講(垂頭低眉的表情),但係,你唔好信佢。」236Please respect copyright.PENANAHB70q2tDGh
236Please respect copyright.PENANA4O8xdG4CYY
溫如冬的臉上終於有笑意,這些天來,她終於感覺到梁匡生的關心是真實的、由他本人出發的,而非一堆預設她的情緒而敷衍的安慰。236Please respect copyright.PENANARNKXar88xW
236Please respect copyright.PENANA8APd6yAgHt
他是在乎她的吧?可是為什麼,只能止於友誼呢?236Please respect copyright.PENANAtzHwHEiGed
236Please respect copyright.PENANAk9EY6ERe2k
她無法對他生氣,但止𣎴住地怨恨自己。236Please respect copyright.PENANAbNRKt8N4vf
236Please respect copyright.PENANA58UiTlDumw
如果沒有動情,今早,她可能會在他的懷裏醒來。不、不——她又想:如果沒有動情,她根本不會投入他的懷裏。236Please respect copyright.PENANABjHUf41OCc
236Please respect copyright.PENANAlsaj5fWhcN
梁匡生又說:「我想見你,呢幾日一直諗住你。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANA4gURSudcA8
**
236Please respect copyright.PENANAIkLPLIfBXw
分組作業的時候,由於他沒有和相熟的人讀同一個課程,便四處找人組隊。他選擇容貌姣好的女同學,禮貌詢問,卻被禮貌回絕;他又主動找了其他人,但最後只有他最初不希望同組的人願意收留他——只消如此,他便悶悶不樂,一整天死氣沉沉。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA1PL0DwYxZI
他沒有來由地想起溫如冬。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA9g4uFrgyB5
有關習慣這回事,一直都非常玄妙,常言21天或66天就會習慣一件事,所以,這成了好多人實現目標的其一指標。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA11iuxOZsgX
梁匡生反覆思考與溫如冬的關係。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAj8cQEh2rOZ
她已如此勇敢。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAzaTqittRdY
開口表白、給予退路、願意等待、假裝無事、表現開朗——這些是他本人也做不到的事情。以往要麼女神一早抗拒他,要麼他在表白失敗後大受打擊、鬰鬰不歡。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAGGx7rPDZuF
溫如冬令他感到驚喜,不止在於她的心意,而是她的表達。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA0I0HxDkdw8
「咩事,而家先flirt我?」 她回覆他。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAHOLhSWAtCj
「唔係……唔係愛情嗰種曖曖昩昩。」他又繼續講:「純粹係,掛住你。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANA9ilDyxIQnn
她說:「唔係愛情,咁係咩?」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAgfpm3Ww7az
「唔知。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAus32eYYVLS
「哈,我係好正,但我唔想理你,彈彈。」溫如冬瞇眼,什麼叫想念而不是愛情?
236Please respect copyright.PENANA26ZBZuAusa
他是清楚她喜歡他吧!這樣似是而非的話,只會令她沉迷更深。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAZQdCPheF6G
梁匡生說:「唔好啦。(嗲嗲表情)」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAhPV7SUu2HW
溫如冬對他是無法有硬心腸:「講五個掛住我嘅理由?」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAwl1wWgpX3x
「幾日冇見——我覺得呢一點,好似已經足夠。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAKIPvMumr29
「但唔係愛情。」她自嘲。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAnf0bLypbJV
天氣依然寒冷,但又不至令他睡了十小時後留戀被窩,可是如果有個人與他相擁,他就會覺得這天是冷得剛好。她悄悄地揣測他的想法,也許是需要人陪嗎?
236Please respect copyright.PENANAKQjDTL1S1R
236Please respect copyright.PENANACQtb1knUkV
「我希望你開心,我冇辦法畀到幸福你,但如果你繼續用朋友身份同我相處,我好歡迎。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANApfXpoJ9rZw
梁匡生後悔自己拒絕了她的表白。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAK9ORtFztOd
雖然是她作主動,但他也因此有份改變了他們的關係。友達以上、戀人未滿的迷霧全被吹散,只得兩塊醜陋孤單的石輕輕靠近,他們心比眼清澈,其中一塊渴望將自己融成其他物質,另一塊卻被嚇怕,滿足於冷硬的體溫,感嘆迷霧真好。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA3NlNsWaKNj
溫如冬不開心:「頂你,講到尾就係friendzone我。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAau7ToJUM4e
可是,他並不後悔沒有與她戀愛。
236Please respect copyright.PENANACNVkVc8RBF
「唔係……」
236Please respect copyright.PENANA9x0EekZxp7
梁匡生說不清,但是自從送她回宿舍之後,仿佛她以後只能被他送到門的千里之外,他不再有任何與她親近的機會。他清楚,此行之後,她將會愈行愈遠之後,於是忐忑不安。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAU8DQc8noEf
他不一定想她留下,但絕不想她離開。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA2OxgrR6CHo
溫如冬沉不住氣:「不如今晚食個飯,嚟我度外賣。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAcSUzebWLpF
她知道他不喜歡她。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAOeYsUrLZQQ
但是,但是,他說思念她——這至少代表,她很重要是嗎?他是在乎她的,但不知如何整理思緒是嗎?
236Please respect copyright.PENANAFoFyYxWggA
管他呢。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAzi6a2EXFNO
溫如冬不管了!不管了!不要再假裝瀟灑、堅強、無所謂,他可是頗了解她的人。何須,她理會對方是否真心鍾愛她?現在,是她很想見他!她告白的本意,從不是斷絕二人關係。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAjBR9yetLvO
「真係可以?」梁匡生問。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA6NrEQ2Jjy3
「我哋以前都係咁啦。」她的意思是:我同以前一樣想見你。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA4bkkFJQWwJ
梁匡生沒有開口:我哋以前都唔係咁啦。
236Please respect copyright.PENANASYSvLONI03
「See you。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANATAPpJprJ1o
他跑去上主修科的堂,收起電話,與朋友聊天,慢慢將「分組」的不快忘記。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAqc93MIafSR
**
236Please respect copyright.PENANAbhchinz34D
晚上,溫如冬和梁匡生一同攝手攝腳地進入宿舍,她依然走在前方,確認廚房和走廊沒有人,才讓他內進。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAWxXLKjhu66
236Please respect copyright.PENANAjDXXLCA0iq
她不想讓其他人知道,自己帶一個不知如何稱呼的人上房。早一陣子,她尚算寬心,因為當時他是「可能的未來男友」,如今他是「只能是朋友」。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA0EoxPIgStn
呵——說什麼世界變壞,只願放大一刻情感呢?由頭到尾,她只想被愛、感受被愛;恰恰不慎愛上這種錯覺,於是,無法感受被愛。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAlwp765N1BL
二人吃着兩餸飯,互相交換餸菜。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA2dnd7PDVVj
咀嚼的嘴巴一直沉默,真到見面的時候,溫如冬卻不知道還有什麼好聊,她只想說愛他。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAKayeQBR7P1
然後,梁匡生忽然餵她吃一口雞柳,又說:「Sorry。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAOsuJGSoia9
她呆呆接過:「食飯又sor咩ry?」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAKAEnALz70p
他提着筷子的手一直掛在半空:「我係咪唔應該搵返你?」
236Please respect copyright.PENANA8FiRW6ksJt
「咩係搵返……你冇一日冇搵我。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAgcfZR6AaxJ
「意義唔同。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAnhtDQfoVm2
她靜靜地看他;他續道:「我好自私。我唔知點解面對呢一件事,淨係覺得唔想冇咗呢段關係,好似已經慣咗你喺度、會喺度。我知道唔啱,你應該要平靜地搵一個更啱你嘅人,而唔係畀我干擾。但係……我真係唔慣。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAck1aznpc4S
「你突然咁坦誠嘅,」她笑笑:「到我唔慣添。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANA9NZub9Phgq
內心咆哮着,溫如冬控制表情:那你想怎樣呢?你又不要我等,現在又想我在你身邊?她的胡思卻有種悲壯,終歸是一種感恩。
236Please respect copyright.PENANARjZYK3oRlU
她不願遠離心上人。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAuzWvk1jspQ
「妖,我好認真㗎。」
236Please respect copyright.PENANAgjXgMUFBMl
「得啦得啦,攬。」她擁了擁他的肩。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA7HZYeBYrLw
氣氛變得輕鬆,二人又分享近幾天遇過的趣事,似一切從未發生。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAb2yWFMYYkD
236Please respect copyright.PENANANUj5VaLG9y
洗澡之後,他們坐在床上玩西洋棋,溫如冬是新手,才剛知道各棋的前進與食棋規則,梁匡生便不斷讓賽,使她不斷回棋。
236Please respect copyright.PENANA6h6y2W3ChR
這棋局快將完結,她抬頭得戚地看他,因為剛剛吃了他一隻棋。
236Please respect copyright.PENANABzM5LD60ol
他也剛巧看她,應該說,他覺得她的表情和神態老早比這實力不對等的棋局精彩。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAvS7NuVlDfU
為什麼呢?世上有那麼多人,她選擇向他展示這一面;世上有那麼少人,他偏不能欺哄自己,對眼前人有非愛不可的衝動?
236Please respect copyright.PENANA7n53p6kHA2
二人漸漸靠近對方。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAYcTFNPKTjK
唇是軟稔,氣息是濕潤,手心是激昂,皮膚是滑嫩;髮是飄泊,腳趾頭是掙扎,舌是窒息,腰身是沉沒。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAyRAw911O6C
那盤棋的皇上、皇后紛紛倒下,沒有勝負之分。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAoIjmiX4YFr
溫如冬抱緊梁匡生,欲言又止,還是沒有問他——我哋之後點?
236Please respect copyright.PENANAFpHwrxBLWt
梁匡生輕輕撫摸溫如冬的背,完全無法思考,他又開始不安,這是衝動了嗎?但是,他好像真的需要她。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAmKYdIXjlFT
此刻,她只想與他深深相擁,與未來毫不關連。
236Please respect copyright.PENANAklhK1kxIaR
此刻,他閉眼,入睡,明晨再算。
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