發現自己變成貓是醒來後的五分鐘。364Please respect copyright.PENANAtjAMqXUnW2
364Please respect copyright.PENANAwkpgTbkCyr
我從被窩裡頭用力鑽出來後,發現自己開不了房門,房門變得像天一樣高。364Please respect copyright.PENANAoLVYJsoqPl
364Please respect copyright.PENANAtZ197I1DJR
「搞咩啊…」我抱怨,突然想起剛才的「夢」,「Shit…我唔係變左條蟲掛?」364Please respect copyright.PENANA2WTPg12ebO
364Please respect copyright.PENANA6pWXp4qbOR
腦內第一時間出現的是卡夫卡《變形記》入面的蟲,然後是自己被家人嫌棄,最後鬱鬱以終的畫面。卡夫卡書內記錄的是主角變成甲蟲的故事,而我現在聯想到的是自己變成精蟲…突然覺得很嘔心的打了一個冷震。364Please respect copyright.PENANAeLD6Mejxd3
364Please respect copyright.PENANAuQGcGmrsEo
「如果係精蟲應該唔識得打冷震…」我自言自語說。到底為什麼我會知道精蟲不懂得打冷震?364Please respect copyright.PENANAkDsug15m7p
364Please respect copyright.PENANAcYmPgJSSgp
我用力的嘗試跳躍,勉強碰得了門把。我對於自己躍跳的強度感到有點意外:我的身高變得這麼矮小,可以達到的跳躍幅度居然是自己高度的兩三倍。364Please respect copyright.PENANAzaz7NPsRuW
364Please respect copyright.PENANA0qRTCJ9R0L
「莫非貓神為咗我可以得到女神嘅歡心,將我變成NBA籃球員?」364Please respect copyright.PENANAKGDxjhdkG6
364Please respect copyright.PENANAHnK5HhA0Qt
可是籃球是中學生的玩意啊。而且長得這麼小,連門也開不了,跳得高有屁用…364Please respect copyright.PENANAT1T8Gnuwkm
364Please respect copyright.PENANAXxm2JmVb82
今天可是平安夜啊,我自己一個困在房間裡,怎麼跟女神回家啊,貓神你騙我啊?願望沒有成真呢!364Please respect copyright.PENANAd5dbfFw5I6
對了…我的願望是,聖誕節,跟女神回家,同居,保持我作為男人的特長…364Please respect copyright.PENANAijKw0vW39O
364Please respect copyright.PENANAcMlUbnpE3X
我稍為望一下自己的下半身,還好JJ還在…364Please respect copyright.PENANA6EFvwHF6eY
364Please respect copyright.PENANAjr6LRzgjtW
…364Please respect copyright.PENANAqlfokgyKKF
364Please respect copyright.PENANArx8gjDaboO
「哇屌!點解我全身都係毛!!!」我大叫。364Please respect copyright.PENANAD9830CFKf7
364Please respect copyright.PENANAd8OfMmnJ7x
「仆街!!!啊!!!咩事啊!!!」364Please respect copyright.PENANA86U7h5iroP
364Please respect copyright.PENANAEAwcfahtK3
我一邊慘叫,一邊聽到娘親在房門外逐漸走近的腳步聲。364Please respect copyright.PENANAU5SYWDTZJm
364Please respect copyright.PENANAqhep6WdLmh
「仔啊仔,因乜解究有貓喵喵叫啊?」娘親敲門問。364Please respect copyright.PENANAa6GcdEB7yV
364Please respect copyright.PENANAwu3fTj7DYP
「啊!屌,唔好入嚟啊!鎖左門嫁!」聽起來像我在看完AV穿褲子般,然後我想起原來她不進來,我也開不了門。「啊,老母,你都係入嚟啦下!」364Please respect copyright.PENANAbeWKisStNn
364Please respect copyright.PENANAxV4DyZPKEE
「我入嚟啦下。仔啊仔,講左幾多次唔准養貓啊,養大你一個都難啦,你養左返嚟又唔好好照顧,最後未又係阿媽養。唉,你唔好話我唔尊重你私隱,我問左幾次先入嚟嫁…」364Please respect copyright.PENANAMLhNXdNQx2
364Please respect copyright.PENANAWJzYDeEqdf
話音未落,便聽到扭鎖匙的聲音。我明明把後備的兩條房門匙都丟到街坊去…364Please respect copyright.PENANASZ2HZljV2L
364Please respect copyright.PENANAepzwOTJ1Yq
我用貓一樣的速度鑽回被窩。嗯,對了,我好像真的變成了貓。364Please respect copyright.PENANAmqRLT4wQxS
「奇怪…明明聽到貓貓起勢咁叫。講明先啊,阿日你個衰仔,我仲未接受到養貓嫁…你連自己都未照顧好啊,養左隻寵物又一闊三大,你仲未出嚟做嘢,而家大學畢業都搵唔到好工,更何況你讀緊Asso,唔係咁容易啊。」364Please respect copyright.PENANAQj32pV4R9v
364Please respect copyright.PENANASsyC7Ujtjm
救命…為甚麼變了貓還能聽得到娘親的嘮叨?364Please respect copyright.PENANAAKdIIBn4X4
364Please respect copyright.PENANAIkBU8fJGDm
「…」364Please respect copyright.PENANA6XEYxH2lUj
364Please respect copyright.PENANAnWjXZ90iJR
嗯?為甚麼突然之間又變得安靜了?364Please respect copyright.PENANAVnyMFyTDo0
364Please respect copyright.PENANAdOZvBTV1v1
「嘩!!!」娘親突然用力揭開被窩。364Please respect copyright.PENANAH7NuFgShMH
364Please respect copyright.PENANA9qfCHtvVba
「嘩!!!」我驚叫。364Please respect copyright.PENANAQLNEK2nwAQ
364Please respect copyright.PENANAHLG0RTSkHP
「阿日爸爸,快啲上嚟睇吓,乖仔養左隻黑貓,好得意啊!!!」她高呼,然後伸手想要抱我。364Please respect copyright.PENANAApljkiikQj
364Please respect copyright.PENANAj24spQrwgT
「唔好啊阿媽!」我越過她,狂奔至房外,但家中大門緊鎖,我無處可逃。364Please respect copyright.PENANAz1Ffegfb2q
父親在大廳裏看TVB的新聞,像精神分裂一樣碎碎唸。364Please respect copyright.PENANAqUQTFZ9xQB
364Please respect copyright.PENANAlxlC27LvfQ
「唉政府真係冇得救,到而家都仲未開關,搞咗兩年,唉頂,一日都係班死廢青,阿叔後生多20年真係打死晒佢哋。全部都好似房嗰條友咁樣冇得救。」364Please respect copyright.PENANA0voXdRUBHa
364Please respect copyright.PENANASJC1vHmJOi
他自言自語,完全沒有理會我媽的呼喚,以及其他我引起的一切騷動。有時真的很佩服他驚人的專注力,感覺除了我和娘親的所有事情,都可以令他非常集中。364Please respect copyright.PENANAF8zxUaE3Ru
364Please respect copyright.PENANAULm20kMuVU
「阿日爸爸,快啲幫手呀,日仔隻黑貓周圍走啊,唔知會唔會周圍瀨屎㗎,不過衰仔果然好眼光,帶返嚟隻貓咁得意,如果第時新抱仔都係咁靚女就好啦。」364Please respect copyright.PENANArwjDy8yGuL
364Please respect copyright.PENANAzXdogpbInc
媽,承你貴言阿,我變回人馬上找個老婆,最好是敏青,你一定滿意。還有就是,雖然我變成貓,我可不是弱智的,不會胡亂大小二便。364Please respect copyright.PENANAZD9ub1sBmY
364Please respect copyright.PENANA7YrVCns2bH
大門的方向不對,我回頭一看,電視櫃旁邊的窗沒有關,我一枝箭的直奔,跳上電視,再跳上窗台。只差一步!364Please respect copyright.PENANALNoJ8dvPkk
對了,忘記介紹,我家是位於元朗小區的一層平房,即使從窗外跳出也不會跌死。以前對於這一點非常討厭,因為蛇蟲鼠蟻好像都可以輕易進來,現在卻覺得非常慶幸。364Please respect copyright.PENANAdtt8wonaJS
364Please respect copyright.PENANAupnEHTlgqQ
我順利從窗口跳到屋外,頭也不回的向前直跑,直至轉角再轉頭的那條窄巷小徑。364Please respect copyright.PENANAQRSs6Fn621
364Please respect copyright.PENANAOSr0wXYKzP
好了,現在他們應該找我不到。364Please respect copyright.PENANABMzhSRsZ8W
364Please respect copyright.PENANAKp2qUQfYpX
救命,告訴我,其實我在發夢對吧。我用右手手掌用力拍一拍自己的臉。364Please respect copyright.PENANAkmUbqHMvCm
364Please respect copyright.PENANApQd4mBU7KA
「屌,好痛。」原來被肉球打是這麼痛的一件事。對了,之前從來也沒有成功摸過肉球一次,連跟貓貓親密接觸的機會也很少。364Please respect copyright.PENANAwJXXcoE9sr
364Please respect copyright.PENANA1z1PpsFGtA
我躺在地上,拉長身體,伸手用右手輕輕揉着左手手心的肉球。364Please respect copyright.PENANAIiYZYo6BtC
364Please respect copyright.PENANAyWWhQXJ2Ae
「啊…好舒服啊。喵…」那種感覺舒服得讓我顫抖震動着。我感嘆。364Please respect copyright.PENANAMmotc5vLmC
364Please respect copyright.PENANA1fRaDkjG45
完全進入忘我狀態。364Please respect copyright.PENANA3sg9cL3rwF
「爸爸、爸爸,你睇吓嗰隻貓幾得意,自己摸自己摸到瞌埋眼!好想摸吓佢啊…」一個拖著父親的女孩指着我說。364Please respect copyright.PENANAmPpx843Slr
364Please respect copyright.PENANAnxMYuseek3
「唔好摸街貓啊,好污糟㗎,好多蝨。」那個父親一邊玩手機一邊說,根本沒有望過我的這一面。364Please respect copyright.PENANAO1eDHQ6UXh
364Please respect copyright.PENANAUQif1qd0Yt
「嗱,指還指,你咪行過嚟!」我大叫。364Please respect copyright.PENANAFVq55KfQYl
364Please respect copyright.PENANAJREOd8sEHx
「嘩!好惡啊!!」屁孩尖叫,鬆開父親的手,然後跑走。364Please respect copyright.PENANAteGpwInO4i
364Please respect copyright.PENANAJ49CF63W0u
自我陶醉的時間被打斷實在太可惡。364Please respect copyright.PENANAFsnmYDti4L
364Please respect copyright.PENANA4RRkuRCHMi
算了,讓我先整理一下目前的狀況吧。364Please respect copyright.PENANAmOzZqTwoRc
364Please respect copyright.PENANAsULC8G6LLA
首先,我在非常真實的夢境入面遇見那隻貓神,他用權杖和低沉的聲音念咒語,將我在現實中變成一隻黑貓。364Please respect copyright.PENANAmXGZ14JwWK
364Please respect copyright.PENANAxBAaYWup22
然後,現實的人,包括我的父親母親,好像都聽不懂我說的話,我可以假設我現在說的是貓語。至於我是否擁有和其他貓咪溝通的能力,還有待驗證。364Please respect copyright.PENANAZPxtq3PLOB
364Please respect copyright.PENANAjLAu0ixgZo
最後,我的確還是男生,只是已經不是人類…即使願望能夠達成,也是貓雄無用武之地啊…可惡的貓神!對了,牠說我還有兩個願望。364Please respect copyright.PENANAWanabtF6IQ
364Please respect copyright.PENANAkk2mY3NdRR
「貓貓貓貓貓貓,幫我變返做人類!」我嘗試念着咒語。364Please respect copyright.PENANAQ4evy3LYnM
364Please respect copyright.PENANA8hxUUQAwbs
可是好像一點用途都沒有。364Please respect copyright.PENANAEhM3SM03dd
天啊。364Please respect copyright.PENANAe4mEhBtZlx
364Please respect copyright.PENANAQUThA7NRr7
天氣好冷,這天可是平安夜,非但沒有如願以償,還流落街頭,有家歸不得。連陪伴了我20年的左手也變成了肉球。364Please respect copyright.PENANAcmN3CCQ0mj
364Please respect copyright.PENANA7AV7dx5wET
我慢步走到家附近的停車場,平常五分鐘的路程,現在好像花了我半小時,手腳還是處於有點不協調的狀態。364Please respect copyright.PENANA1nRA3jqedc
364Please respect copyright.PENANAdeJX7S9QZN
我在車場裏搜索,千辛萬苦找到一輛Benz。364Please respect copyright.PENANAyrrLy0j8eC
364Please respect copyright.PENANAgEO6PicIwY
「平時冇錢坐歐洲車,做貓享受下。」364Please respect copyright.PENANAuwTFA2AUVl
364Please respect copyright.PENANAkYOr1zHnP9
我走到Benz的車底,向上探頭,想找個地方取暖。車子看起來一直停泊在停車場入面,鋪滿塵埃,算是一個比較安全的選擇。364Please respect copyright.PENANAsbHNWu9AXW
364Please respect copyright.PENANAgBam9WaiJE
「邊個俾你入嚟?」突然在Benz車底的位置,有三、四對青黃色的眼睛瞪着我。其中一隻用低沉的語氣說。364Please respect copyright.PENANALwy3QoGKJj
364Please respect copyright.PENANAIoTsFH4Zqa
「吓,我經過咋喎?」我狡辯。不知道為什麼會用狡辯這個詞語,感覺我好像做錯事似的。364Please respect copyright.PENANAHXeGIpbf5E
364Please respect copyright.PENANAKPDPmxxRcS
「呢個停車場淨係比有貢獻嘅貓入嚟,你過主啦。」剛才的聲音變得更低沉。為什麼貓咪都要壓低聲音說話?貓神如是,這些貓也是。364Please respect copyright.PENANAJa4y1JCMY0
364Please respect copyright.PENANARdvHd45dWR
「要點樣貢獻?」我問。364Please respect copyright.PENANAio25N3bI7J
364Please respect copyright.PENANAyrP5xEsCun
「幫阿公做嘢都要教,你新嚟㗎?」一隻虎斑貓從車底跳下來,牠是剛才開口的那隻貓。364Please respect copyright.PENANAeEKJPiHP9P
364Please respect copyright.PENANAQoLPjr7wjB
「我係真係新嚟嫁…你有見過我咩?」我反問。364Please respect copyright.PENANA0HXjFLYXSL
364Please respect copyright.PENANAUlLf1oqWe1
「𡃁仔,你依家係咪咁串呀?」364Please respect copyright.PENANAsFkQ6fBVTa
364Please respect copyright.PENANA8HaslDURUv
「見你黑媽媽咁樣,知咩事啦?」另一隻白貓亦從Benz的車底跳下。還有幾隻唐貓跟着在其他車底突然出現。364Please respect copyright.PENANAYwIZ90V1q2
364Please respect copyright.PENANAJ7e6hm0oCm
「話就話呢度元朗姐大佬,貓都有鄉黑?」我被逼往後退,幾隻社團貓向我步步進迫。364Please respect copyright.PENANArmW5gdPhUO
364Please respect copyright.PENANAfViBniQNFD
「啪、啪、啪」突然聽到金屬敲打的聲音。364Please respect copyright.PENANAXzg54Iewbm
364Please respect copyright.PENANAKbkigi90jB
「喵!!」所有本來快要把我團團圍住的社團貓突然散開,然後跑向停車場收費亭的那邊。364Please respect copyright.PENANAZa5GGrHr3K
364Please respect copyright.PENANAPTUMjtNvX2
「你班衰貓又打交,唔好成日搞搞震啦。」停車場管理員大叔一路從收費亭走出來,一路用匙羹敲打手上的幾個罐罐。364Please respect copyright.PENANA6LYIJWKbOY
364Please respect copyright.PENANA3V7Qv23xdW
「喵!喵!喵!」群貓圍著大叔和他的罐頭。我則趁機會從另一邊溜走。逃跑的時候,還聞到罐頭的香氣撲鼻。364Please respect copyright.PENANAFeRzhoAJPo
364Please respect copyright.PENANAhGpFwYA8aL
是淡淡的吞拿魚清香…嗚嗚,如果可以加入那個貓社團就好。真的好冷好肚餓呀。雖然過程不太順利,總算證實了自己能夠和其他貓貓溝通。364Please respect copyright.PENANA7eYOgoZRvo
364Please respect copyright.PENANAmIa8N2hKYN
我從停車場的不遠處,看到一個紙箱。我本能意識的爬了進去。364Please respect copyright.PENANAmxs3qnOcmE
364Please respect copyright.PENANAwqfoVOzLMV
「呢度好暖好舒服啊…」我陶醉的躺在紙箱內,然後眼前的紙皮逐漸變得模糊起來。364Please respect copyright.PENANABvZYsLI0oJ
我在夢中沒有見到貓神,但就變回了人類,和敏青坦白了自己的愛意,她緊抱著我,然後與我激烈的擁吻著。364Please respect copyright.PENANADYwhi8fkfs
364Please respect copyright.PENANAUJhxVmzqIL
突然在夢中,我感受到身體有人輕輕的撫摸着我,是無比溫暖的手。我拖着疲倦而且寒冷的身軀,努力睜開自己雙眼。364Please respect copyright.PENANAeFXYCsDHvo
364Please respect copyright.PENANAeTDJPVq1fN
是妳嗎,敏青?貓神你不要騙我。364Please respect copyright.PENANAgxjmsjD1Wa
364Please respect copyright.PENANABA7wMridN3
「好得意呀佢。」是敏青輕柔的聲線,別說變成貓,就算我變成甲蟲都應該不會搞錯啊。364Please respect copyright.PENANAFKYIYMTdS6
364Please respect copyright.PENANA3KtTCPcn7T
「係啊B…佢仲好暖。」另一把聲令我發抖,明明是一個大男人,卻升高聲線用BB聲說話。他用手摸著我的背。364Please respect copyright.PENANA8FwCworkXp
364Please respect copyright.PENANAqJxe2Q2W4F
「你再扮女人,我一定打撚死你!」我大叫,然後想要咬他,可是他手縮得很快。哼,膽小鬼。364Please respect copyright.PENANAhmvYbVgGZe
364Please respect copyright.PENANATankWKgcEV
「嘩,佢好惡啊B!」街燈照射到他的樣子。天啊,敏青的男朋友是一個面目可憎的MK仔。364Please respect copyright.PENANAtCGlMWDkjR
364Please respect copyright.PENANAKZoUf0kMqf
「你溫柔啲啦,佢可能驚啊!」敏青輕輕打一下MK仔的手。364Please respect copyright.PENANAZFHekI2J7d
364Please respect copyright.PENANAzO0ZQ3JKHJ
「我淨係對你溫柔㗎咋B。」他嘔心的說。364Please respect copyright.PENANAkLu3JMLwTE
364Please respect copyright.PENANACdkcwshmvx
「阿明,今晚好凍呀,而且又係平安夜,唔知佢捱唔捱得過,不如帶佢返屋企咯?」敏青對MK仔男朋友說。原來這傢伙叫阿明,名字都特別醜。364Please respect copyright.PENANA26AMIAW25I
364Please respect copyright.PENANAEvSNZB1DYU
「我哋唔係講好咗話養狗咩,而且你都冇問過屋企人。」MK仔有點猶豫說。364Please respect copyright.PENANA0dwdkdsSDc
364Please respect copyright.PENANAIc310WazZj
「但係佢好慘呀!如果過幾日出嚟見到佢條屍嘅話我一定會好唔安樂。」364Please respect copyright.PENANAgbfxHLqZYU
364Please respect copyright.PENANAnyNwByewod
對了,這個年頭的人都是變態的,野豬都能夠亂殺,更何況街貓。快點帶我回家吧!364Please respect copyright.PENANAY6uPGiqB2J
「不過…」364Please respect copyright.PENANAR1VNKBgZmM
364Please respect copyright.PENANAqQ4xCJC3yv
「唔好不過啦!我屋企咋嘛,又唔係你屋企!」364Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5V3rTd2aj
364Please respect copyright.PENANAP1Gx4aJTs7
「你屋企咪即係我屋企囉。」他又用BB聲,求求你快點滾開吧。364Please respect copyright.PENANAVTG1v86KHJ
364Please respect copyright.PENANAKL7s0OcjL8
「咁你咁錫我!一定會支持我㗎B!」敏青撒嬌地說,我聽到自己心碎的聲音。364Please respect copyright.PENANA3osqlDTnp2
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「好啦好啦。咁今晚平安夜,我哋一齊返屋企啦。」MK仔終於說出自己最大的心願。364Please respect copyright.PENANAPtvfuswlIO
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「你呀,同我同貓貓返咗屋企之後,乖乖返自己屋企啊!不可以色色!」敏青說,我露出勝利的眼神望著MK。364Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6a5Bx6pOV
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「嗯~又唔俾我~」MK又再撒嬌,我毛管棟得要命。364Please respect copyright.PENANAlKSRRy7rQS
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「係喎,唔知佢係男仔定女仔黎呢?」敏青嘗試轉移話題。女神果然是玉潔冰清的!364Please respect copyright.PENANA3yPPre0Dxg
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「等我睇吓先!」叫做阿明的MK作勢想要抱我。364Please respect copyright.PENANAlh41NCdNd3
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「救命啊!!」我嘗試掙扎,無奈我對於爪的操控能力還是非常欠佳。364Please respect copyright.PENANA1G6N6b1gQV
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「應該係女仔黎,你睇吓,冇姑姑㗎。」阿明指著我的下體說。364Please respect copyright.PENANAmVuZvGsRnL
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「你盲㗎?咁大條你都睇唔到?」364Please respect copyright.PENANAIGWVjE9R16
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敏青把臉哄過來我的下身,仔細觀察着我的下體。雖然隔着口罩和幾cm的距離,我卻能嗅到她的香氣和感覺到她呼氣的熱度。不知是因為女神真的很香還是我的嗅覺變得靈敏。364Please respect copyright.PENANAvVrO6kmdqE
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「乞嗤!」每次女神靠得很近時,我總是忍不著打噴嚏,做人的時候是這樣,做貓如是。看來是心理作用大於生理反應。(有另外的生理反應便是了)364Please respect copyright.PENANAipciC8QS6e
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「係喎,真係冇喎。」她說。364Please respect copyright.PENANAtd5LgA2W2E
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「…」被女神這樣一說,我真的非常無奈。364Please respect copyright.PENANAJpnNwzJjG5
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「好啦,就叫你做阿月啦靚女!今日開始你就係我嘅屋企人啦!」敏青抱起箱子,在男朋友的陪同下,將我帶回她的家。364Please respect copyright.PENANAqQGShNOthD
這一切都來得太突然以及太真實了。我抬頭望向天空,嘗試找出第二個月亮,這樣大概就能證明我還是在做夢。可是,第二個月亮並不存在,明月以外,除了星宿還是星宿。364Please respect copyright.PENANATYOwjrYEFK
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無論如何,從平安夜步入聖誕節的這一刻,我還是願望成真了。364Please respect copyright.PENANAT5qEV5Bq1U
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見步行步吧。364Please respect copyright.PENANADQTMbMzihe