I was sitting on a chair in front of a tall mirror, while mama stood at my back. She was combing my hair repeatedly as if wishing for it to grow long.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1vlH8z5gu
"You are so beautiful, my sweet Judy," she said, smiling. "When you grow up, you will make a good mistress of our home."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7MqP39Q1N
I closed my eyes and nodded in response.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DcCU3LKwT
Whatever caused mama to be firm in raising me the way mothers bring up women confused me. She's been very vocal about her faith in God at home, in school, and most especially in the church, but she was also actively taking part in something that she knew was against His standards.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cRg6FnTda
Her children, including yours truly, happened to be all-male, but instead of being thankful for His wonderful gifts, she was still wishing for something impossible.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspDxXZrPFI
When papa had not yet stepped on the ship, he once told us that Mama had always desired a daughter so that she could have someone to help her with the chores and bond with by combing and braiding hair, putting on make-up, dressing up, and other girly stuff.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0U25lebHZ
He even said that when I was born, I looked—you know, like that girly type of angelic the media portrayed angelic to be: soft, white skin, pinkish lips, and round eyes covered in thick, curly lashes. So she raised me as a girl. Of course, papa was against it, but the last thing he wanted for himself was to endure Mama’s unbridled bombardment of snide remarks. So this angelic-looking twelfth grader suffered the consequences.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARLFBjMFOl
My eyes flew open when something cold and hard buried itself in the strands of my hair. I fought the urge to raise an eyebrow as her butterfly hairpin sparkled above my right ear.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XFHHWcJ1H
"There, beautiful." She appreciated before lacing her fingers through my hair for the last time. "I hope your hair grows longer. Let your beauty shine."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmIxXaa5vD
She held out her arm.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtibnh4lcpE
"Come, dear, we have to go to the market. We are running out of supplies."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAjQp0rXXa
I took her hand and allowed her to help me up.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG07vCfFveB
531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauhqugaXeR
We were about to leave for the market when one of my brothers arrived, carrying loads of supplies. It was our eldest. He placed the bags on the table when he reached the kitchen. Upon doing so, the band that kept his hair in a neat bun snapped, causing the black, wavy strands on his head to tumble about his broad shoulders.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFHB1QVwyd
"Oh, thank you so much, Joe, we didn't have to go to the market," said mama. "I hope we haven't taken up your time."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4S9cT0EHzV
"Nah," he answered in a deep voice.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVXhdTHlV4
I immediately arranged the supplies in our pantry, watching him sit by the head of the table and take off his damp, white shirt.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzG3kGPXCCy
My lips tightened at the sight of it. I wish I was more like him. I wish I had his lean yet perfectly sculpted muscles, his hard, square face, his thin mustache, and his low, husky voice. But mama’s dream of having a daughter has wound me into becoming the keeper of the house. Me looking more like a girl must have added to it.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccpuzirpAi
She sat on the right side and handed him a glass of water.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcj2t1sLu5Y
"Won't you miss work?" she asked.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbukfajuR0
He downed the water in one swallow. "No, I'm on a day off," Joe replied. "I could do the laundry."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2U6VgO4M8o
"But you don't need to, my son. You are a man." She placed her hand on the ripped arm of my brother. "Besides, Judy is here. She can take care of everything."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLTssAFdJS
Joe's eyes darted on me as my hands mindlessly brushed my nearly skinny bicep. He smirked and chuckled.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxveUmgYOw
"Dude, you look like a plant. Can you take it off?" he said.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0JOlWIifG
He was talking about that golden butterfly clip Mama planted in my hair. I sighed but in relief. Finally, somebody realized just how awkward that looked.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZACqKGnoW
My brother stood and walked toward me, reaching out his fingers to remove that embarrassing piece from my head.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohfPeHJYpH
"There," he said, grinning like a dog. "Better."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLdrT78GJn
He went back to his seat.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFWm3pdqqm
Mama's eyes widened in horror. "Joseph! Why did you do that? Don't you see how pretty your sister looks?"531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6D95z4IlhE
Joe turned his attention on mama.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAxdWPIzTk
"Ma, Judah is my brother." He allowed the clip to twist between his thumb and forefinger.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjAFmRmoi1
Mama gently took the clip from him and enclosed his big hands in her brown fingers.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnfJ4EqQAY
She explained in a soft voice, "My dear boy, I understand where you are coming from, but you do remember my dream, right?"531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAl95kdWgrl
Joe did not answer, so she gave him a nudge.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLMveZiBK8
"Right, anak?” Mama insisted.531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaR3mfzVUl
His eyes rolled upward and he chuckled. "Judy."531Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmyWUDna1X
Then he rose from his seat and headed to his room.
Penana
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