I was sitting on a chair in front of a tall mirror, while mama stood at my back. She was combing my hair repeatedly as if wishing for it to grow long.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZmSwdKkC8
"You are so beautiful, my sweet Judy," she said, smiling. "When you grow up, you will make a good mistress of our home."572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJarhOTTvyt
I closed my eyes and nodded in response.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrRo58niTh
Whatever caused mama to be firm in raising me the way mothers bring up women confused me. She's been very vocal about her faith in God at home, in school, and most especially in the church, but she was also actively taking part in something that she knew was against His standards.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSj36COu0r9
Her children, including yours truly, happened to be all-male, but instead of being thankful for His wonderful gifts, she was still wishing for something impossible.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKD0Pby6Rjx
When papa had not yet stepped on the ship, he once told us that Mama had always desired a daughter so that she could have someone to help her with the chores and bond with by combing and braiding hair, putting on make-up, dressing up, and other girly stuff.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtE5EtkLPnX
He even said that when I was born, I looked—you know, like that girly type of angelic the media portrayed angelic to be: soft, white skin, pinkish lips, and round eyes covered in thick, curly lashes. So she raised me as a girl. Of course, papa was against it, but the last thing he wanted for himself was to endure Mama’s unbridled bombardment of snide remarks. So this angelic-looking twelfth grader suffered the consequences.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVrMUsNW1y
My eyes flew open when something cold and hard buried itself in the strands of my hair. I fought the urge to raise an eyebrow as her butterfly hairpin sparkled above my right ear.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OYn0D2Zim
"There, beautiful." She appreciated before lacing her fingers through my hair for the last time. "I hope your hair grows longer. Let your beauty shine."572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMiRNwYVLu
She held out her arm.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnytmUVSNY
"Come, dear, we have to go to the market. We are running out of supplies."572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmlJARlXJOf
I took her hand and allowed her to help me up.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OMSw46Euo
572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvbyQFl8ip
We were about to leave for the market when one of my brothers arrived, carrying loads of supplies. It was our eldest. He placed the bags on the table when he reached the kitchen. Upon doing so, the band that kept his hair in a neat bun snapped, causing the black, wavy strands on his head to tumble about his broad shoulders.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSD7hsePZu
"Oh, thank you so much, Joe, we didn't have to go to the market," said mama. "I hope we haven't taken up your time."572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaL3E1mWTVS
"Nah," he answered in a deep voice.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YtLhieMXq
I immediately arranged the supplies in our pantry, watching him sit by the head of the table and take off his damp, white shirt.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSz9aqSlp3l
My lips tightened at the sight of it. I wish I was more like him. I wish I had his lean yet perfectly sculpted muscles, his hard, square face, his thin mustache, and his low, husky voice. But mama’s dream of having a daughter has wound me into becoming the keeper of the house. Me looking more like a girl must have added to it.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMr5auhFmyH
She sat on the right side and handed him a glass of water.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulUuJvyG0o
"Won't you miss work?" she asked.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcgbP4DhSc
He downed the water in one swallow. "No, I'm on a day off," Joe replied. "I could do the laundry."572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYkxUjC2qo
"But you don't need to, my son. You are a man." She placed her hand on the ripped arm of my brother. "Besides, Judy is here. She can take care of everything."572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBl8POLvgd
Joe's eyes darted on me as my hands mindlessly brushed my nearly skinny bicep. He smirked and chuckled.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJFXhnxYq3
"Dude, you look like a plant. Can you take it off?" he said.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFXjEsUlNR
He was talking about that golden butterfly clip Mama planted in my hair. I sighed but in relief. Finally, somebody realized just how awkward that looked.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiwFI7dBCU
My brother stood and walked toward me, reaching out his fingers to remove that embarrassing piece from my head.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7T0nBnlUV
"There," he said, grinning like a dog. "Better."572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJ5uBOQu36
He went back to his seat.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5ubc7rqoW
Mama's eyes widened in horror. "Joseph! Why did you do that? Don't you see how pretty your sister looks?"572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRYBmZu2NN
Joe turned his attention on mama.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpx2r5IfSt
"Ma, Judah is my brother." He allowed the clip to twist between his thumb and forefinger.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgdVV6UxQ3
Mama gently took the clip from him and enclosed his big hands in her brown fingers.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoaDrJ1PaL
She explained in a soft voice, "My dear boy, I understand where you are coming from, but you do remember my dream, right?"572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7ziiVV3FA
Joe did not answer, so she gave him a nudge.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3SKyPUYJQ
"Right, anak?” Mama insisted.572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48dUVmzLic
His eyes rolled upward and he chuckled. "Judy."572Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iLm7R0T5i
Then he rose from his seat and headed to his room.
Penana
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