秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRGOkLqfd5
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnbxyLBwj0
「完好？」現在的她問。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09cRmhsMwD
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OnQvmjouq
「無缺？」曾經的他問。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnWXCWMz5b
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdULLoTtSxe
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgM9FGGPM69
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJttxWUB5f
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuqFrQcBDV
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3ficWvik0
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFD62clu3Bx
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pciJ6LUzs
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpt12rI9U2o
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9A3JpEXZh
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxhCiye5BD
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihMQ8cOqfB
「醫生，早晨。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjIEUIKwx8
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvLmUewz97
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHTmgmcTaa
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4N4y8huDnH
「好……不過……」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEZ52wjc5G
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5UCSPO5WgG
「不過甚麼？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPueYrvK3a
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzR2eVy7mbk
「我想再做手術。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fKRqHf9vn
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrZjOioFiV
「為甚麼？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGMTQbWBQA
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1FlqK9HwE
「不適應現在的生活。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeUwSBHwtL
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwM2ej7vdg
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADGFXiuZkG
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvto06GpTSH
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayTXHDUcxb
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3YtI5bcrb
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEEGPGOUAO
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEjeGtXo0g
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡks08iCk5qG
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglL5MxzD4p
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQ8hqaQRhT
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fxk3bf7Rc
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItSZx4rP3s
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6YgYnMr44
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiXxAR9SFX
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIzFhFUuoF
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeblcqwxFL5
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Vyko0imbq
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDm5faOajG
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRMILHPf8O
「謝謝你。」231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDn0ye35C7
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zSchZoVzP
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARh5wybmD7
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWve2f3HBRn
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMn5jSUbCZ7
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Zv5x3PmxD
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFlDeqDph0
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPVxLSpS0D
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9ZLyy91w3
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wTIzyAQCO
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrg9smDEHmA
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfsSv1Xd9z
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNKvW8KPE2
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM94OURBIaR
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbgCfqkf66
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYk6CwMMW5G
那個原因名為「希望」。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf2S0gvf2r
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTMuBUdn2I
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnp1lYHjTg
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxEmj07uOl
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaypwiO0wVz
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAZ3OxQjf2
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0U7vsCT33
231Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrr4oWXLUm
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.238da2
