二十年前——182Please respect copyright.PENANAKxLFuv5JLw
182Please respect copyright.PENANAvv9QhBsTqu
小荷是個人見人愛的六歲小女孩,胖胖白白的臉配上一雙水靈大眼。她每天穿著荷媽親手做的一雙由彩色布碎拼湊而成的小鞋子到處玩耍,有時會跟同村的孩子們跑上山頭採菇,有時會為獨居老人送上新鮮採摘的漂亮花朵,有時會在湖邊遊蕩。182Please respect copyright.PENANAKMnc3uqSRS
182Please respect copyright.PENANAs6ddv5bXNz
荷媽曾多次提醒她切勿走近湖邊,但小荷偏偏喜歡看蓮花,說蓮花是仙女的化身。荷媽忙著預備晚餐,不甚耐煩地反譏小荷幼稚。小荷不堪被譏諷,激動嚷著會帶蓮花仙女回家,然後頭也不回衝出家門。182Please respect copyright.PENANA7nKCFRUEMj
182Please respect copyright.PENANAnRAZjQuNLH
傍晚,晚餐備好了,小荷還沒有回家。荷媽心緒不寧,深怕小荷遇上意外。她挑燈外出,急步走往湖邊。182Please respect copyright.PENANAwlMOtZn45m
182Please respect copyright.PENANAx6FcYY9Twl
小荷不在。182Please respect copyright.PENANA2zsOcFqZzo
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荷媽的心頭涼了大截,連忙前去村長家求助。沒多久,大伙兒在湖邊叢林間搜索。182Please respect copyright.PENANAvZG3HK5J5T
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無發現。182Please respect copyright.PENANAIA0EF4cV7k
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村長打算重新部署搜索行動之際,有人指著湖中央的一朵蓮花大叫:「看!湖中那朵蓮花上有一隻鞋!」182Please respect copyright.PENANATLImmWmcRS
182Please respect copyright.PENANAL8tr6meQF6
大伙兒定睛細看,卻因光線不足而未能確定那是否一隻鞋。荷媽救女心切,不理眾人勸阻跳入湖中游向那朵蓮花。游著、游著,她的身影突然消失了。182Please respect copyright.PENANAq6YOOSk83q
182Please respect copyright.PENANAQkKO7iGEJx
為免有更多人命犧牲,村民只得待天亮才落水找荷媽。不出所料,荷媽的腳踝被水草纏住,溺斃湖底。村民認得蓮花上的鞋子確是屬於小荷,但找遍湖底亦找不到她的身影。唯有繼續在林間搜索。無果。個多月後,眾人認為找到小荷的機會渺茫,於是停止搜索。182Please respect copyright.PENANAYBgfw1fAs5
182Please respect copyright.PENANApeHO4C5klU
村裡開始流傳蓮花仙女帶走小荷的傳聞……182Please respect copyright.PENANAbweV6Vd2pK
182Please respect copyright.PENANAuwPNKuOb5K
「那是在你出生前發生的事情?」阿夏一邊聽得著迷,一邊望著車窗外的油油綠草地,驚嘆著這寧靜山村背後竟有這種可怕事。182Please respect copyright.PENANA7AE6IHW7Og
182Please respect copyright.PENANAEPKU5YU3Ph
「不。當年我十歲,和小荷挺熟絡。」芙兒沒心情欣賞風景,逕自倚著椅背,微微仰首凝視車廂天花那色調偏冷的米光燈。182Please respect copyright.PENANAvTmBVg8jZC
182Please respect copyright.PENANA5xvy6eVkaQ
「小荷失蹤一事是你當警察的原因嗎?」阿夏與芙兒作伴數年,不難看出芙兒心事重重,尤其今趟「回鄉之旅」是離鄉別井十多年的芙兒主動提出,可見其別具意義。182Please respect copyright.PENANA9kakpKfeRp
182Please respect copyright.PENANAN9cg4B2rys
「嗯……一部份吧。不能說是完全因為她,也不能說是與這事情毫無關係。」芙兒苦笑,些許後悔無故主動提及這大煞風景的陳年往事。回鄉目的不是向各位鄉親苦老宣佈自己與阿夏的婚訊和設喜宴嗎?不是要歡天喜地、眉開眼笑嗎?182Please respect copyright.PENANAFgLYhmRWaH
182Please respect copyright.PENANAjphMx0zwVZ
「不管如何……」阿夏是個聰明人,明明對案件內容細節有興趣,但也知道要適可宜止。他輕拍芙兒的手背,安慰道:「事情已然過去,多想無益。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAjYPZqNlUTs
182Please respect copyright.PENANATnH3505qNg
「是的。過去了。」芙兒吁一口氣,似是釋懷,奈何揪心的感覺難以單憑幾句安慰說話連根拔起。182Please respect copyright.PENANAJBpmW0Syv5
182Please respect copyright.PENANAXTezEP0HVR
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?182Please respect copyright.PENANAplGl8HPm6v
182Please respect copyright.PENANAmtOzw1ZI3M
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。182Please respect copyright.PENANAbhyFSgF4KY
182Please respect copyright.PENANAZb3Qojz1VH
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」182Please respect copyright.PENANA5i8xsCpfpw
182Please respect copyright.PENANAQkch8HmABk
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。182Please respect copyright.PENANAPtJmvqO2c1
182Please respect copyright.PENANAtDHSi8wHIu
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。時間彷彿隨著步伐逆行,日落月出,瞬間回到二十年前那個夜晚……182Please respect copyright.PENANA4jdSajNBZ5
182Please respect copyright.PENANACP2xAyLQwD
「我帶芙兒外出散步散心。」晚飯後,芙爸病懨懨地對妻子說。182Please respect copyright.PENANA3th7Bquiwu
182Please respect copyright.PENANAkeD5pBGFOa
「嗯。」芙媽忙於照顧病兒,分身不暇。182Please respect copyright.PENANAJKoW2NRtvL
182Please respect copyright.PENANAMlkSYg7wI2
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上,芙爸眉頭鎖得更深。芙兒乖乖不作聲,默默尾隨他快步走。182Please respect copyright.PENANAD8EvNpGtzN
182Please respect copyright.PENANAaKElyE9MHX
「芙兒,你愛媽媽嗎?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAUO4BzGIgu0
182Please respect copyright.PENANAhN5TQFUQAy
「愛。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAoo2iCMbi8U
182Please respect copyright.PENANA2wTM5YXtS4
「你愛爸爸嗎?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAEyxno32TQL
182Please respect copyright.PENANAv2Urqjt2au
「愛。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAckuC3c23UO
182Please respect copyright.PENANAnVuD8yYWsn
「你愛哥哥嗎?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAmsEkphBXms
182Please respect copyright.PENANAELcO0K7VCy
芙兒心裡一寒,不自已停下腳步——她早前無意間發現爸爸向前任村長秘密查詢有關人口販子的事。難道爸爸為了替哥哥籌措醫藥費而打算賣掉她?182Please respect copyright.PENANAaPimtMIwoZ
182Please respect copyright.PENANAgxNwFQ815B
「你愛我嗎?」芙兒無力反問。182Please respect copyright.PENANA7rbTOyd5OP
182Please respect copyright.PENANACCsb7B7qUI
芙爸沒有回答,繼續低頭開步走。182Please respect copyright.PENANAZfzg008v36
182Please respect copyright.PENANAw5oNwUAXs9
芙兒想要跑回家去,雙腳卻不由自主隨著爸爸走,縱然明知那是不歸路。182Please respect copyright.PENANAYjpOqYmYRs
182Please respect copyright.PENANASM2V8Zkz6T
途經蓮花池,巧遇小荷。芙爸倏忽衝前打昏小荷。芙兒明白爸爸的意圖,連忙拉住他。182Please respect copyright.PENANAuxyhWrsvx1
182Please respect copyright.PENANAY0z4JitkSo
「小荷是無辜的!」182Please respect copyright.PENANAus1W6Zp4lN
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「但我捨不得你啊!」182Please respect copyright.PENANA1iOnJChGQ2
182Please respect copyright.PENANA7Y8NydF45x
芙兒不期然鬆開了手——她聽得出話裡的割捨與堅決。爸爸向來善良老實,日子艱難亦不會做鼠竊狗偷的勾當。奈何今次關乎兒子的生命安危和女兒的命運!他寧可割捨良知,亦要保住家人。182Please respect copyright.PENANAbAEkWuBPBy
182Please respect copyright.PENANAyQPuANmnsl
芙兒理解了、妥協了,芙爸眼神反倒更為悲憤不安。他脫下小荷的一隻鞋,使勁拋向蓮花池。鞋子剛好不偏不倚落在池中央的一朵大蓮花上。182Please respect copyright.PENANAGq2Ud7sy7y
182Please respect copyright.PENANAVqdCqlU9af
父女兩人不約而同望向那朵大蓮花。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。182Please respect copyright.PENANAM4jBqdXqtD
182Please respect copyright.PENANAHUFNzavFm6
小黑點,人生裡的大污點。182Please respect copyright.PENANAAvZEFb2Okz
182Please respect copyright.PENANA73ZxHb3Plr
來到約定的地方。人口販子沒有芙兒想像中的鼠頭獐目。他相貌平凡,打扮平凡,舉止平凡,有如田裡的一顆穀粒,獨一無二卻平凡普通。182Please respect copyright.PENANAeVMJ1LZZVM
182Please respect copyright.PENANATTIz4fxt0o
二人無聲的奉上小荷,默默的收下金錢,不能見光的交易在無光的樹林中順利完成。182Please respect copyright.PENANA2G4cziXpYi
182Please respect copyright.PENANACbRWsqFOpd
芙兒自此在這夜池邊中無限輪迴。182Please respect copyright.PENANABjM8mexqqg
182Please respect copyright.PENANAKBbBetBbSl
晝如夜,夜是夜。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,異裝同臉。池中有蓮,家中有蓮,路中有蓮,蓮上有鞋。182Please respect copyright.PENANAwbQFNaATUI
182Please respect copyright.PENANAumNCk5ost5
瘋了。芙兒的世界瘋了。182Please respect copyright.PENANAp0vuNO3O0r
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需要救贖。無人能救。只得自救。182Please respect copyright.PENANAuBGRYlL6gC
182Please respect copyright.PENANAeYd0TGajKa
救哥哥,犧牲小荷。救自己,犧牲誰?182Please respect copyright.PENANADYgPxFSGtg
182Please respect copyright.PENANATTRyTt4KYw
「記住,賣掉小荷的人是我,不是你。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAHqZAfJ0mcg
182Please respect copyright.PENANAR7J9A4BWqv
「我沒有阻止你。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAzaepfuCAOq
182Please respect copyright.PENANAZIXGEjPV4T
「阻止得了麼?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAbCAzOGjIQm
182Please respect copyright.PENANAkdBa5ggLZM
「至少,我該要嘗試。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAm6vjoAHfZQ
182Please respect copyright.PENANAnWXc7KAuZl
「嘗試有用麼?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAzfngO3B0XG
182Please respect copyright.PENANAKveIxtwdOW
芙兒如夢初醒——芙爸企圖獨自扛起一切責任,救贖芙兒。她不自控笑著流淚,內心得到救贖的同時又跌落另一深淵——自己得救,爸爸犧牲。182Please respect copyright.PENANATzqt0QNII7
182Please respect copyright.PENANAlYLrwLKlkr
真的得到了救贖嗎?不肯定。182Please respect copyright.PENANAbGwOugzqPm
182Please respect copyright.PENANAyz73PEUdtm
她離鄉到城市尋找工作,輾轉當上警察。對失蹤案尤感興趣。找人,找救贖。找到人,找不到救贖。182Please respect copyright.PENANAhz7u3LNFpl
182Please respect copyright.PENANA4C0jRyZrQh
收到來自家鄉的信,提及哥哥病逝。她丟掉信件,假裝未曾收到。根本沒意義,根本誰也沒能得救,無論犧牲多大。182Please respect copyright.PENANAQycpuvEXp3
182Please respect copyright.PENANAQhpicLZvvq
芙媽來了,問芙兒為何不出席哥哥的喪禮。她說不知道哥哥逝世一事。芙媽低頭掩面大笑,笑了很久,然後哭了很久。「你爸說你不會為此回來,我說你不是狠心的人。原來我們都錯了——你根本不知情。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAtBz4zRpb3D
182Please respect copyright.PENANAJrsbnof0KL
有甚麼值得笑或哭?芙兒不明白。或許媽媽也不明白,純粹為笑而笑、為哭而哭,無謂卻有為。至少她的情緒得以紓緩,面容不再繃緊。182Please respect copyright.PENANAaECgPRpNuZ
182Please respect copyright.PENANA6DXr1zLO9F
數年後,芙媽死了。芙兒同樣沒有出席喪禮。她向上司請假數天,躲在家裡,足不出戶。不斷憶起媽媽當日又哭又笑的癲狂模樣。真羨慕。沒有隱藏,沒有秘密。182Please respect copyright.PENANAmLkxgA4xw7
182Please respect copyright.PENANAiogm4TlEf5
假期完結後,芙兒重投工作。警局來了一個新丁,名叫阿夏,比芙兒年輕數載。他長有一張孩子臉,胖胖白白,水靈大眼,像小荷。芙兒的目光離不開阿夏,主動接近他、勾搭他。二人由相識至同睡一床,僅是三天內的事。182Please respect copyright.PENANAItxoiuYAlA
182Please respect copyright.PENANAu9lqguEPv4
阿夏不解。182Please respect copyright.PENANAfFKUCxwz7c
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「你不似是水性楊花的女人。」182Please respect copyright.PENANA3lHaY7sPCR
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「你不似是諸事八卦的男人。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAlAGUvyK9Ip
182Please respect copyright.PENANAxVurMm48Z6
阿夏開始追求芙兒。芙兒不接受,卻偶爾與他同睡。為何不愛他卻會與他睡?是發洩,是鬱悶,或是對往事的情感投射?芙兒解釋不了,亦不想解釋——找到解釋之時,另一個問題就會隨即出現。182Please respect copyright.PENANAaQD78l5Hrp
182Please respect copyright.PENANAASex9HBhQ4
繼續同睡,繼續被追求,繼續找人找救贖。生活不過如此,平平凡凡,無無謂謂。182Please respect copyright.PENANA0p3vwNoDnx
182Please respect copyright.PENANA1VMOQOiwTP
數年後的某天,芙兒收到來自兒時鄰居的一通電話。對方說芙爸病重,行將就木,希望她回鄉探望。182Please respect copyright.PENANAHPG4VmhJl5
182Please respect copyright.PENANAIw9cC8So4h
「是他希望我回去,或是大家希望我回去探望他?」182Please respect copyright.PENANATXklXxKagk
182Please respect copyright.PENANAgOLXq90eLq
「他堅持不要通知你,但大家還是決定要告訴你。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAX0Q06JbOjr
182Please respect copyright.PENANAMY1VMLMsOE
「我明白了。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAI3nmMFHaC7
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當晚,芙兒跟阿夏說要盡快回鄉宣佈婚訊、設喜宴。182Please respect copyright.PENANArcGSGJZcjX
182Please respect copyright.PENANAgMNbFOfTtM
「你跟誰結婚?」阿夏詫異。182Please respect copyright.PENANA801q58yHTE
182Please respect copyright.PENANAPh2BnLjiaS
「你。」芙兒明白阿夏的不明白。182Please respect copyright.PENANAI4U9iOZVDC
182Please respect copyright.PENANAjpBaLMBUm5
顛著、簸著,好不容易來到村口。大城市發展一日千里,隱世小村亦逃不過時間巨輪的輾壓,已然根據政府的規劃建議打造成「山村旅遊區」。生來就是城市人的阿夏未曾到過農村,覺得這地方別具風味,但在村內待了十多年的芙兒卻嗤之以鼻:不也就是電視劇裡的假農村嗎?182Please respect copyright.PENANAVTnxEj1W9f
182Please respect copyright.PENANAVVkJdNYYi0
驀地,一個想法在芙兒腦海掠過。182Please respect copyright.PENANAzmk1CazM66
182Please respect copyright.PENANAmtrCDprdTX
「阿夏。」芙兒拉拉阿夏的手袖:「我們先去蓮花池那邊看看吧。」182Please respect copyright.PENANANRtnH2rXd7
182Please respect copyright.PENANAQM6rqNbjam
不出芙兒所料,蓮花池已面目全非。池邊的泥地與草叢變成了磚路與涼亭,上了漆的鐵製圍欄整齊繞池而立,蓮花換了個品種,顏色更亮麗奪目,尺寸亦比以往的大上數倍。唯一不變的是頭頂上的烈日,仍然熾熱得惡毒。182Please respect copyright.PENANANybvCc0rAm
182Please respect copyright.PENANAA8muapm79c
芙兒逕自繞著蓮花池逆時針方向拐圈踱步。踱踱踱,時間有可能隨著步伐逆轉,帶她回到二十年前的那個晚上嗎?若明知結果,她還是會不阻止爸爸賣掉小荷嗎?182Please respect copyright.PENANAkufSo7CPRG
182Please respect copyright.PENANAzeVuubCMxi
老家陋宅裡,趁著阿夏上廁所的空檔,芙兒湊近芙爸耳邊直接問:「若明知結果,你還是會賣掉小荷嗎?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAjSCSmUd84L
182Please respect copyright.PENANAZYcQOuHawm
「會。」氣若柔絲的芙爸斬釘截鐵:「因為我是當爸的。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAzAsNuQFXJo
182Please respect copyright.PENANAT81YnMn3XY
「若沒有遇上小荷,你會賣掉我嗎?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAKwJVhvB9pI
182Please respect copyright.PENANACmFz304tLl
「會。因為你們兄妹倆都會活著。活著才會有希望。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAzqTkUMYbe3
182Please respect copyright.PENANAJlJwlIXr7Z
芙兒大受刺激,轉身奪門而出。182Please respect copyright.PENANAebf0l6Kaui
182Please respect copyright.PENANAvkPhnEQiSd
夏夜有月,月下有蟬,蟬聲擾人又煩人。路上行人疏落,卻異裝同臉,小荷的臉。路中倏忽生出白蓮朵朵,蓮上皆有小彩鞋一隻。芙兒知道自己瘋了,眼前盡是幻覺。理智脫軌,她不再恐懼,像個十歲的少女那樣跳脫輕盈,一步踏一蓮,來到池邊。182Please respect copyright.PENANAddxDfQeqnW
182Please respect copyright.PENANAS3oV5UXaLK
池邊有人,像小荷,像芙爸,像人口販子,像阿夏。她握著一隻彩色小鞋,木無表情直盯池中那朵大蓮花。芙兒走近女子,女子報以微笑,遞上手中小鞋。182Please respect copyright.PENANAauaeg1YZPH
182Please respect copyright.PENANAPeDdaPFDmj
芙兒接過它,模仿爸爸當晚的姿勢,以完美的拋物線弧度拋出小鞋。小鞋不偏不倚剛好落在池中央的蓮花上,有如二十年前的那夜。純白蓮花被夜色沾污成帶有瘀青的淡灰色,悉才看來色彩繽紛的小鞋子亦被迫融入夜色,成了一個若隱若現的小黑點。182Please respect copyright.PENANAwIp70hUWbo
182Please respect copyright.PENANAGYwgaU2eGv
女人哈哈大笑起來,笑聲豁然開朗。芙兒腳下的白蓮和小鞋驀地消失隱去,唯獨女子依然完好站在面前。笑過以後,女子轉身離開,身影沒入林間不復見。182Please respect copyright.PENANA3hTcrU8Laj
182Please respect copyright.PENANASgavuCJYtP
芙兒惘然——她不肯定對方是幻覺或是確切存在的真人。182Please respect copyright.PENANA8yLg4kUC4Y
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數日後,芙爸與世長辭。182Please respect copyright.PENANA7RBx4ywpj5
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「既然不需要沖喜,你還會跟我結婚嗎?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAEd8FRbCXDK
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「你想跟我結婚嗎?」182Please respect copyright.PENANAjdZuhEWrdy
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「想。我愛你。」182Please respect copyright.PENANAMl5Yf8SDhM
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「那就繼續吧。」182Please respect copyright.PENANA0lr7X3k1PU
182Please respect copyright.PENANApAqHDG1DgT
喜慶夜,大排筵席。此人是小荷,那人是小荷,新郎是小荷,老爺是小荷,奶奶是小荷,滿堂皆是小荷。芙兒帶醉喜極而泣,感激小荷前來祝福她。182Please respect copyright.PENANAjThwrMSDme
182Please respect copyright.PENANArHTIRFnjBG
宴後,賓客散去。醉得幾近失去意識的芙兒被攙扶到新房去。滾燙的臉龐忽爾涼涼的。她知道有人為她用濕毛巾抹臉抹汗。182Please respect copyright.PENANAajgMC6A1lR
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「謝謝你……小荷……」182Please respect copyright.PENANAECm2uKRSTJ
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「不用客氣……」182Please respect copyright.PENANAVJUWyBggVH
182Please respect copyright.PENANADflM9PFYHz
說著說著,阿夏哭了。晶瑩淚水沿著胖白的臉頰下滑,水靈大眼楚楚可憐。像小荷。182Please respect copyright.PENANA3qc3DdLxBv