「我憎恨你！永遠憎恨你！」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlEOl100uW
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfIpVG6QMS
衣衫單薄的阿妹無視冷雨紛飛，跑出遮雨簷篷，衝過警方封鎖線，直撲上前搥打我胸膛，拳拳復拳拳，拳拳到肉，拳拳入心。我沒有還手——不打算反抗，而且雙手被手拷反扣在後——默默垂眼看著她雙手沾染我衫上血跡。這時何等奇妙的感覺：父母的血在我和她體內，亦在她手上、我衫上。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFf6MYT7Tl
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeaGhHkJsW
附近幾位警員沒有立即阻止阿妹，待她發洩將近十秒、有記者正要舉機拍攝時才拉開她。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioe0ksMGws
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNUEdTDBjL
登上警車，我輕問身旁警員：「你們是故意的吧？」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmI6IegXtR
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qL5o6MnyN
警員目不斜視，對著空氣道：「你殺死父母，是故意的吧？」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNr1C9y2RS
操場上，烈日刺眼，人影紛亂，或逃跑或追趕。兩幫囚犯因私怨扭打起來，其餘局外囚犯連忙依獄警指示離開現場。我混在逃走行列當中，驀地發現走在前方的人正是與我關係不錯的獄友——阿青。靈機一觸，想到一個減刑方法。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeENOjBVJN9
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lV42esqmc
「他有參與打鬥！」臨近操場出入口，我突然指著阿青呼叫。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfzz1tg6Bb
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNUuNwGAyG
阿青尚未意會我所指何事，已然被獄警壓制在地。他面帶怯色，嘗試辯解：「冤枉啊！我沒有……」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6C4kDquCEg
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDG6kG96X8
「我真的看見阿青參與打鬥！」雖知阿青無辜，但為了建功減刑，我唯有狠下心腸補上一刀：「我平日與阿青關係不錯，沒有冤枉他的理由。」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHW9uQBqfQ
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57EfbGE1kY
阿青抬頭望我，似乎明白這是甚麼一回事，瞬間臉容扭曲，極力試圖掙脫獄警。更多獄警上前制伏激動不已的阿青，甚至對他施用棍擊。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcsDXZnw6E
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0kZdz5XuX
亂棍之下，頭破血流的阿青咬牙切齒，勉力抬頭怒目瞪著我：「你這忘恩負義的傢伙！枉我在獄中處處維護你，代你吃下不少苦頭！走著瞧！我定會算帳！我不會放過你！我永遠憎恨你！」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgokP86ky8e
狹小房間內，淫穢之聲迴繞不散。在我胯下的年輕小女生或嬌喘或呻吟，胸前兩團白肉隨著抽插節奏晃晃盪盪。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72O2LbCphR
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJsVdCm4n4
咔——386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1CYkAq2XZ
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ54lorrDHg
小女生被房外聲響嚇驚，表情僵住：「客廳有人。」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87ggR8OCeb
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzyjGdXJG6
「是我妻子。」我處變不驚，繼續重覆腰肢動作。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSU4LKkhZv
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphedRtgIGX
「你不怕……」小女生奇怪我的冷靜。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGygu5EvQ7l
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGAm1ngwcI
「孕婦，跑不遠、跑不快，怕甚麼？」我伸手微微施力掐住小女生細長白頸，暗示不滿她話太多。也許不安導致情緒緊張，沒多久我倆雙雙高潮完事。小女生沒有洗澡，匆匆收錢離開。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNTMnos7Py
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfS125A11Ho
我叼菸走向梳化，在芝芝身旁坐下，安慰道：「放心。金錢交易。不是長期關係。」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXlONN6nBX
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabN4GRj1Vi
挺著巨肚的芝芝低頭不語，臉色玄青。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOH5Z58pseo
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZ4gus3vGo
「沒法子。生理需要。總不能憋住十個月。」我口說得輕鬆，心裡細細數算芝芝跟我多少個年頭。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6BHy8Lu19
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDfxfJDq04
至少三十年。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqLPKjOc2V
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcEFuDMghc
我們相識於中學三年級，彼此都是十五歲。我當時是小混混，她是不良少女，一拍即合。後來我殺人判囚，幸得減刑出獄。沒能回家。苦惱之際，誰料芝芝主動聯絡，供吃供住，只求與我再續前緣。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaU55HtlTcv
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLFBwXDUen
「我曾為你的付出感動過。奈何純粹的感動無法改變我本性——我天生就是壞人。」我向芝芝坦白感受，不是出於內疚或推卸責任，而是我沒有隱瞞的原因。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlywWZcfA6
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OBdKmby4B
「你曾愛我嗎？」芝芝眼眶通紅，忍淚問了一個傻問題。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAe3Vgwu5sL
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tTv038waI
「我不知道那是否愛。」我對芝芝沒有愛，但在她身上我感受到何謂愛。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOM29RVUCF
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjOjdYt9o7
「你走吧。我和孩子不需要你。」芝芝終於按捺不住，流下兩行清淚，語帶哭腔：「這刻開始，我會開始憎恨你，永遠憎恨你。」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrEa0h3ptB
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSiMnCPr3o
「你早該對我死心。」我聳肩表示沒所謂，直接走出大門，離開單位。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WFW1R5UvL
七十歲的我獨居劏房，不良於行，少有外出，平日依靠社工幫忙購置日用品。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4dYEbBYc8
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1v9NxsrICZ
社工是個初出茅廬的年輕人，不知人世險惡，對我毫無戒心。我撒謊說自己被兒女拋棄，她就拿著我提供的假資料尋人。尋人不果就來關心我更多，買來更多物資。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLpkKNOnZw
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEGYypY00g
相識之初，我經常在心裡嘲笑她笨蛋。不過隨著相處時間增多，我多次目睹她為我無私付出，不禁開始動容，深切自省。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQXRrT05UIy
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡea6SlU1XSl
夜深人靜，流浪狗吠聲忽遠忽近，對面大廈招牌的刺眼強光穿透薄窗簾，在牆上映出花花綠綠迷幻色塊。無眠，憶起很多人，很多我虧欠過的人。爸媽……阿妹……阿青……芝芝……孩子……其實我一直以來知道自己有多壞、多可惡。為何明知故犯？因為我不相信永遠。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRrJVXvnxT
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kp99JmFLD
沒有永遠的惡，沒有永遠的愛。只有眼前利益和當刻快感。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKkX8pZmNk
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXPcIEe7ms
我自私？誰不自私？爸媽養兒防老，阿妹需要爸媽供書教學，阿青幫我是貪慕虛榮，芝芝救我是為彌補遺憾。誰沒計算？人人都在計算！386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNGZpCVJxT
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU57JA6gqvZ
感動退散，惡意再生。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoNOI4Pdg5
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCEEYaFnax
缺失很多，要求更多。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IXpuLNT0V
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77TYyVXJ1H
缺失愛，索求愛。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5D25CXHJQ
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlKBAEPAsn
變本加厲。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91inFJ2d10
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxCMA7UWfo
理所當然。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRn2mdoB7fH
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrpSU06WW5
社工說疫情險峻，求助人數激增，難以經常前來探望我。我埋怨她不關心我。她解釋說機構人手資源有限，無法重點照顧我一人。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7wtNH2OIZ
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTbNW3j9HB
她離開。我撒野：「你偽善！快走！別來！我憎恨你！永遠！」386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKqtelZcva
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkK9SxX9v5
沒有永遠的愛。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUSp9rRgxC
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfxa3GNfkV
缺失愛，索求愛。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFINVoWozQr
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxa41DyjkVI
鳳姐索價三百元。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOVeyBgDXW
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkH0cwF9GJc
她有眼前利益，我有當刻快感。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHKeYwUQeR
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPabn7awZ2
完事。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eFV38h8vU
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCQT9v8O45
一切歸空。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5CueyxC8E
386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthzqLmx5WE
理所當然。386Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYUjFOPdjm
題解：
四：四次
嚎：嚎叫、嚎哭。這裡借代情緒激動時的話語。
永：永遠
憎：憎恨
你：你
註：此篇將會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》。
ns216.73.216.176da2
