「我憎恨你!永遠憎恨你!」155Please respect copyright.PENANAOrFmyP5MkT
155Please respect copyright.PENANAjRsS4uXfWD
衣衫單薄的阿妹無視冷雨紛飛,跑出遮雨簷篷,衝過警方封鎖線,直撲上前搥打我胸膛,拳拳復拳拳,拳拳到肉,拳拳入心。我沒有還手——不打算反抗,而且雙手被手拷反扣在後——默默垂眼看著她雙手沾染我衫上血跡。這時何等奇妙的感覺:父母的血在我和她體內,亦在她手上、我衫上。155Please respect copyright.PENANATgyLRNmkMl
155Please respect copyright.PENANACbvwP3MDSl
附近幾位警員沒有立即阻止阿妹,待她發洩將近十秒、有記者正要舉機拍攝時才拉開她。155Please respect copyright.PENANAD72BuE6dw6
155Please respect copyright.PENANAPOjh0hNabj
登上警車,我輕問身旁警員:「你們是故意的吧?」155Please respect copyright.PENANA653PCYJCBB
155Please respect copyright.PENANA8wqRc0HqXB
警員目不斜視,對著空氣道:「你殺死父母,是故意的吧?」155Please respect copyright.PENANA86vjFjkgNg
操場上,烈日刺眼,人影紛亂,或逃跑或追趕。兩幫囚犯因私怨扭打起來,其餘局外囚犯連忙依獄警指示離開現場。我混在逃走行列當中,驀地發現走在前方的人正是與我關係不錯的獄友——阿青。靈機一觸,想到一個減刑方法。155Please respect copyright.PENANAeKsLEQnFPG
155Please respect copyright.PENANA8RjTKHQMa4
「他有參與打鬥!」臨近操場出入口,我突然指著阿青呼叫。155Please respect copyright.PENANAJrL9IiMBNx
155Please respect copyright.PENANAlqjeGysCmo
阿青尚未意會我所指何事,已然被獄警壓制在地。他面帶怯色,嘗試辯解:「冤枉啊!我沒有……」155Please respect copyright.PENANAnlzTHsPPoC
155Please respect copyright.PENANAeUKhBeepP2
「我真的看見阿青參與打鬥!」雖知阿青無辜,但為了建功減刑,我唯有狠下心腸補上一刀:「我平日與阿青關係不錯,沒有冤枉他的理由。」155Please respect copyright.PENANAm24qMKiJ6y
155Please respect copyright.PENANAV5dOqeQEtn
阿青抬頭望我,似乎明白這是甚麼一回事,瞬間臉容扭曲,極力試圖掙脫獄警。更多獄警上前制伏激動不已的阿青,甚至對他施用棍擊。155Please respect copyright.PENANAcU649P4H6d
155Please respect copyright.PENANAfjSMtE9l9r
亂棍之下,頭破血流的阿青咬牙切齒,勉力抬頭怒目瞪著我:「你這忘恩負義的傢伙!枉我在獄中處處維護你,代你吃下不少苦頭!走著瞧!我定會算帳!我不會放過你!我永遠憎恨你!」155Please respect copyright.PENANAjqMFPP4DBo
狹小房間內,淫穢之聲迴繞不散。在我胯下的年輕小女生或嬌喘或呻吟,胸前兩團白肉隨著抽插節奏晃晃盪盪。155Please respect copyright.PENANAQh4LPxJhzx
155Please respect copyright.PENANAVV0ejuTkyx
咔——155Please respect copyright.PENANAWgzq7WAY2o
155Please respect copyright.PENANALbAZO0QI5r
小女生被房外聲響嚇驚,表情僵住:「客廳有人。」155Please respect copyright.PENANAdpAUZj4Nlh
155Please respect copyright.PENANA6nwod4fjKD
「是我妻子。」我處變不驚,繼續重覆腰肢動作。155Please respect copyright.PENANAHsGqZ9FQfW
155Please respect copyright.PENANACmhU5MHMRD
「你不怕……」小女生奇怪我的冷靜。155Please respect copyright.PENANATfBV7BcLWj
155Please respect copyright.PENANANtH4NKcPlR
「孕婦,跑不遠、跑不快,怕甚麼?」我伸手微微施力掐住小女生細長白頸,暗示不滿她話太多。也許不安導致情緒緊張,沒多久我倆雙雙高潮完事。小女生沒有洗澡,匆匆收錢離開。155Please respect copyright.PENANABWZ4cMf4yz
155Please respect copyright.PENANAdvVqoKyOrm
我叼菸走向梳化,在芝芝身旁坐下,安慰道:「放心。金錢交易。不是長期關係。」155Please respect copyright.PENANAGvzuKtrqwK
155Please respect copyright.PENANAWHlfwpCOpM
挺著巨肚的芝芝低頭不語,臉色玄青。155Please respect copyright.PENANACE1555wUfo
155Please respect copyright.PENANAaL5O12KCjf
「沒法子。生理需要。總不能憋住十個月。」我口說得輕鬆,心裡細細數算芝芝跟我多少個年頭。155Please respect copyright.PENANAiki2n0yuXw
155Please respect copyright.PENANAd4lVl4dS82
至少三十年。155Please respect copyright.PENANA1ramRLHa00
155Please respect copyright.PENANANxCufEgTY8
我們相識於中學三年級,彼此都是十五歲。我當時是小混混,她是不良少女,一拍即合。後來我殺人判囚,幸得減刑出獄。沒能回家。苦惱之際,誰料芝芝主動聯絡,供吃供住,只求與我再續前緣。155Please respect copyright.PENANASfEKAXTR5C
155Please respect copyright.PENANAh4PkJoRsgC
「我曾為你的付出感動過。奈何純粹的感動無法改變我本性——我天生就是壞人。」我向芝芝坦白感受,不是出於內疚或推卸責任,而是我沒有隱瞞的原因。155Please respect copyright.PENANASMW0RMhaI3
155Please respect copyright.PENANAu6HFViJqed
「你曾愛我嗎?」芝芝眼眶通紅,忍淚問了一個傻問題。155Please respect copyright.PENANAEB6pXsnz8c
155Please respect copyright.PENANAQTJmGntAWu
「我不知道那是否愛。」我對芝芝沒有愛,但在她身上我感受到何謂愛。155Please respect copyright.PENANAqCysAcZ6WW
155Please respect copyright.PENANAfkbTz0febS
「你走吧。我和孩子不需要你。」芝芝終於按捺不住,流下兩行清淚,語帶哭腔:「這刻開始,我會開始憎恨你,永遠憎恨你。」155Please respect copyright.PENANAFzaZC0PIRo
155Please respect copyright.PENANA9v1fiDBH6a
「你早該對我死心。」我聳肩表示沒所謂,直接走出大門,離開單位。155Please respect copyright.PENANAR5r0zN6qf9
七十歲的我獨居劏房,不良於行,少有外出,平日依靠社工幫忙購置日用品。155Please respect copyright.PENANALVj5kPtky1
155Please respect copyright.PENANAeVI1YCC5n6
社工是個初出茅廬的年輕人,不知人世險惡,對我毫無戒心。我撒謊說自己被兒女拋棄,她就拿著我提供的假資料尋人。尋人不果就來關心我更多,買來更多物資。155Please respect copyright.PENANAZDLkzCcgWj
155Please respect copyright.PENANARo1h9FwL0E
相識之初,我經常在心裡嘲笑她笨蛋。不過隨著相處時間增多,我多次目睹她為我無私付出,不禁開始動容,深切自省。155Please respect copyright.PENANATlXHZl4J0j
155Please respect copyright.PENANAoStqFZut5s
夜深人靜,流浪狗吠聲忽遠忽近,對面大廈招牌的刺眼強光穿透薄窗簾,在牆上映出花花綠綠迷幻色塊。無眠,憶起很多人,很多我虧欠過的人。爸媽……阿妹……阿青……芝芝……孩子……其實我一直以來知道自己有多壞、多可惡。為何明知故犯?因為我不相信永遠。155Please respect copyright.PENANAq58iBaggZG
155Please respect copyright.PENANAEH2vhE617r
沒有永遠的惡,沒有永遠的愛。只有眼前利益和當刻快感。155Please respect copyright.PENANAPXbUpsjQcL
155Please respect copyright.PENANA40xzwIFQWq
我自私?誰不自私?爸媽養兒防老,阿妹需要爸媽供書教學,阿青幫我是貪慕虛榮,芝芝救我是為彌補遺憾。誰沒計算?人人都在計算!155Please respect copyright.PENANALG4pSPMjSk
155Please respect copyright.PENANAP6at4qh8pQ
感動退散,惡意再生。155Please respect copyright.PENANAGvWZQ8kRIl
155Please respect copyright.PENANAc2GtVSZd5p
缺失很多,要求更多。155Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8RaPR4j0r
155Please respect copyright.PENANAYK7VKDkFAx
缺失愛,索求愛。155Please respect copyright.PENANAW95kQIlOps
155Please respect copyright.PENANAk2a6J7qLr8
變本加厲。155Please respect copyright.PENANAxzXzmjnb3T
155Please respect copyright.PENANAUxTA6XYrJx
理所當然。155Please respect copyright.PENANAj74aX1Uet4
155Please respect copyright.PENANAPLtSncbSMh
社工說疫情險峻,求助人數激增,難以經常前來探望我。我埋怨她不關心我。她解釋說機構人手資源有限,無法重點照顧我一人。155Please respect copyright.PENANAi59HHjpGqY
155Please respect copyright.PENANASE6LSXqAnH
她離開。我撒野:「你偽善!快走!別來!我憎恨你!永遠!」155Please respect copyright.PENANAXxscbx36F7
155Please respect copyright.PENANAAQV9QxsZVc
沒有永遠的愛。155Please respect copyright.PENANAeD9wnZA4Q8
155Please respect copyright.PENANAlLgciesDsL
缺失愛,索求愛。155Please respect copyright.PENANAvdO8xpDtOH
155Please respect copyright.PENANAgFaGtdYWIu
鳳姐索價三百元。155Please respect copyright.PENANAQBTYltBmjv
155Please respect copyright.PENANAdb3HaVWqq4
她有眼前利益,我有當刻快感。155Please respect copyright.PENANAkaosEnVeHW
155Please respect copyright.PENANASNMvfhilmT
完事。155Please respect copyright.PENANAzqcdxcJL7I
155Please respect copyright.PENANABLLXT3YCC2
一切歸空。155Please respect copyright.PENANAnGRPgESKrG
155Please respect copyright.PENANAsBb3Vcr8Yh
理所當然。155Please respect copyright.PENANAk3spPXM2zu
題解:
四:四次
嚎:嚎叫、嚎哭。這裡借代情緒激動時的話語。
永:永遠
憎:憎恨
你:你
註:此篇將會收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》。
ns 172.70.131.32da2