x
I do realise I should probably start this part with an apology.
And I probably should have started with this in the first chapter, but whatever.
The point I'm trying to get to is; I'm not a professional writer and quite frankly, I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. I have never written anything in my life except for a few daft school essays and an awkward letter for the first girl I ever liked. Recalling back all my hazy memories and stringing the words together takes weeks and weeks of work and gets a lot more complicated than you might expect, but I suppose it has to be done. I'm sure you'll understand one of these days.
And now that we have this annoying ordeal out of the way...
The next morning I woke up to the sound of birds chirping and flies buzzing about my head.
“That's pretty weird,” I thought to myself. “Who would let a bird into my cell?”
Then I realised there was a light coming in through... a window? A real window. And everything came crashing back on me.
We got out of the dungeons.
We stole a car and probably pissed off an entire army in the process.
I was in the middle of the woods in a smelly, crude shack, sleeping on an old couch under a blanket that probably hadn't seen a washing machine in months.
In my consternation, I managed to fall off the improvised bed and looked around me. Everything from yesterday still seemed like a weird, wild dream, but I was really there. It must have been about midday outside; the sun was shining in through the windows and I could finally take a good look at my immediate surroundings.
And Elskan's room was a mess.
There was regular furniture the way you would expect it to be, except all the cupboards, tables and chairs were strewn about in a shambolic, haphazard manner, as if their owner put them in place when he moved in and then forgot or more likely simply didn't care they needed to be sorted out.
Various papers covered the floor and someone apparently used one of the walls as their drawing board for a crude plan of some kind of a weird mechanism I've never seen before. An empty bed showed no signs of my outlaw friend.
Some of the most memorable items I found were an actual arrow lodged into the doorframe, an action figure of some famous superhero, a laptop half-covered with books and papers and somewhere underneath all of that, I would imagine a table too. I carefully picked one of the volumes up, only to find out I couldn't read the strange language it was written in.
“Hey! Don't touch anything!”
The book flew from my hands to join the rest of the pile.
“I should have added please... I've got something for you.”
Elskan was standing at the door. The uniform from yesterday was gone and in his hands was a heap of fresh new clothes.
“You're pretty much the same height as Will so we kindly asked him to lend you some stuff to change into,” he gestured towards me and, looking down, I realised I hadn't even taken my own clothes off as I went to sleep. “When you're done, you can come over to the kitchen and I'll show you how it works around here. We've got a shower, coffee and some food in the fridge. Everything a man needs to exist.”
I chose a blue t-shirt and shorts and hung my soiled attire on the suspicious arrow. It made for a pretty good rack. After my time in prison, the world outside seemed like a paradise. Green light shone down through the leaves as birds and butterflies fluttered about. Someone must have been using the still smoking fireplace and sure enough, when I entered the kitchen, there was breakfast already waiting for me on the table.
James and Elskan were chatting in their weird foreign language and immediately switched back to English when they saw me at the door.
“Morning, Tony,” James greeted me. “We have eggs and some of the last bacon, if you'll have them. If not, I'm afraid there's not a whole lot of other options to choose from.”
Happily, I sat down at the table and addressed the first thing that came to my mind.
“So it all… really happened, didn't it?”
“Looks like it.”
“Alright. So, where you to from, precisely?” I wondered about Elskan's real origins the whole time we'd spent together in prison, and now that there were two of them, it only piqued my interest.
“The Eastern Europe,” Elskan replied, as if he wanted me to take a wild guess.
“Poland,” James offered.
“Belarus?” Elskan shot in the dark.
“Or Austria...” James countered.
“Nicaragua!”
“What?”
I scratched my chin in sudden thought. “Is Elskan a common name in Nicaragua?”
He actually laughed at that. “We're just messing with you. El's not my real name, buddy, and for that matter, James is not his real name either. We're practically deserters if you think about it and I burnt all our papers back at the first border. I don't think we'll ever gonna be able to use our old identities again.”
I decided not to inquire any more than necessary into that matter and dug into my breakfast. If they didn't care to tell me anything of their backstory, I could keep my secrets too. Shortly afterwards, the two brothers joined us at the table.
“Morning everyone.” Will seemed to be way more chatty than yesterday. “Is it eggs again?” he looked down at the plate James placed in front of him. “I could really go for a toast right now. Our grandma used to make the best toasts ever. She'd put peanut butter on one side and kiwi jam on the other one...”
“If you want peanut butter, we can steal some seeds, plant peanuts in a pot and maybe if we're lucky, in a year or so we can enjoy our plentiful harvest of a single plant,” El offered and James reached under the table and pulled out a print from the last week. The headlines read, “Lyon bombed by Russian planes!”
“So does this mean you really do sometimes go out into the town?” I realised, watching the papers he was holding. You can't just get these in the forest.
“Of course we do.” El snatched the papers from his friend's hands to read the article. “We have to get our supplies, clothes, food... We tried hunting the first few nights after we moved in and lemme tell you; it's a lot harder than they make it seem. So we go out and buy what we have to like normal people, even though the money is running dry these last few weeks. Besides, if you know where to go to you can catch free wi-fi on your phone. That's one more important thing this hermit's life lacks.”
“You guys have working mobile phones too?”
“Of course. If you need to call someone, just tell me.”
That got me thinking about Sam. For the first time since they'd taken my things, I had an actual option to contact her, and the sooner I did it, the better. If nothing else, I could take the opportunity to tell her where I was and how I'd got here. Let her know I was safe.
“Alright, give me those papers back and I'm gonna go sit on a toilet,” James exclaimed. “I'm not announcing it like that because I want to be weird but I really think we should show our new guy where it is.”
“That's true. I did promise to show you around,” El reminded me. “We're gonna have a busy day.”
I decided to be nice and proper and take care of my personal hygiene before we did anything else, only to find out the shower was absolutely horrible. The 'bathroom' was located behind one of the doors leading out of the kitchen and the only way to wash myself was to take a bucket of freezing water and pour it over my back. My only solace was the fact the outlaws had somehow managed to get their hands on some shampoo.
I was just in the middle of this inhuman torture when a scream from the outside made me freeze and listen.
“Ow, what- what the hell?”
I ran outside in nothing but my pants to find the rest of the kitchen empty. The cries and whimpers led me downhill and through the bushes, to find James rolling on the ground in front of a wooden outhouse. He seemed to be holding and bawling his eyes out. Quite likely because of a girl standing right above him and holding a pepper spray in her right hand.
Seeing a group of strangers storming downhill, she pointed the fearsome weapon at the four of us and I found myself arriving just in time to see the rest of the group jumping in to stop her and twisting her hands behind her back.
I'm not gonna lie to you. She was hot.
I don't even know what it was, but I suppose there was something about the short, boyish trim of her blonde hair, the radiant blue eyes and freckles on her face, the slight curve of her ches-
“Tony! Get hold of our new prisoner and get her into the kitchen! We're gonna have some questions.” El's bark brought me back into reality.
What was even happening? I didn't know this new ethereal being that had so suddenly appeared in my life, and I wasn't entirely sure she deserved whatever punishment the outlaws had in store for her. There was nothing I could do, though, but to seize her and lead her back up the way I'd came from.
“Let go of me, you old bastard!”
She almost managed to punch me in the chin and Will had to help me drag her over to the kitchen where we tied her to a chair with a tape one of them brought from their room. Only then did we have some time to go outside and try to figure out what happened.
James was sitting by the fireplace, rubbing his reddened, swollen face as tears practically streamed down from his eyes.
“What the hell did we just do?” I said and maybe I was a little more harsh than I planned to.
“What do you mean?” Elskan asked.
“I was literally just made to kidnap a young woman!”
“Come on, that was no kidnapping,” he waved the argument away. “Who do you think we are? We'd never kidnap anyone! We're just gonna ask her some questions.”
“What kind of questions?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Look, I'm really glad you are so upset about the whole violation of her rights and everything, but I already told you we don't get visitors that often out here and all of the sudden someone appears a day after we escaped from Lyonhall? That's pretty shady if you ask me. Besides, she attacked James. The one thing she needs is a uniform, and I think we'd be set on her identity.”
“I mean... I guess you're right about that. But we're not going to torture her or something, right?”
“Of course not! Who would have a stomach for that?” Elskan turned his attention back to his friend. “How you doing, buddy?”
“I can't see. It's like eating chillies through my eyes!”
“Then stop rubbing them!” His expression softened. “I'm gonna tell the boys to bring you some water or something, alright?”
“I think we might need a proper doctor, El. This is serious!”
“Sure it is. As soon as I meet one I'm gonna make him the incredibly lucrative offer of a measly life in the forest.”
“Okay. In the meantime, I'll just lie down and try to... survive.”
“That's always a good idea.”
We left James alone in his catatonic state and only then did I have time to dry up, get my shirt back, and join the others in the kitchen. Will ended up being the one charged with treating the patient, so it was just me, El and Manny left to do the job. A single chair had been moved to the centre of the room to accommodate our new prisoner, and the girl sat with her arms and legs firmly taped to the wood.
When I entered, she frowned at me.
“What the hell do you want from me?”
“Let's start with your name. Who are you?” Surprisingly, it was the young one, Manny, who took the lead and for a better threatening effect decided to wave a wooden spoon in front of her face. El rolled his eyes.
“I'm Ashley. What's it to you?” she answered defiantly.
“Ashley?” he dropped the act almost instantly and handed his makeshift weapon to El. “It's nice to meet you. My name is Manny and-“
“Why, yes, Manny. Tell her all our personal information, you smartass.”
“I... erm.”
“You blokes are terrible at this.” the girl was starting to seem slightly amused, which frankly bothered me and El tried to change the topic and cut straight to the chase to avert the impending disaster.
“Tell me, do you have something to do with Foxglove?”
“What? No! What's wrong with you, guys?” she appeared shocked simply by the notion of that. “I'm with the Rebels. You are the ones with an army coloured uniform hanged by the door!”
“What did you- Did I… Who left that outside?” Elskan turned to me, and the only thing I could do was to raise my hands in defence.
Manny saved me with, “wait a minute. Who are these Rebels supposed to be?”
“Sounds like a band,” El offered, and the girl looked at him with a scowl.
“If you don't know who it is, then it's only good for them and stop asking already. And who are you, anyway? Some bunch of weird gay hermits living alone in the forest?”
“We're out here because we can't show our faces in the-” Manny stopped himself when Elskan gave him a look of utter disappointment and turned back to the girl.
“Do you mind if we search you?”
“If I could I would bite you!”
“I'm gonna take that as a no, then.” El leaned in to reach into her pockets and almost immediately reeled back with a confused look on his face.
“She doesn't have anything on her.”
“Yeah, I'm poor. So what?”
The self-proclaimed leader of the outlaws took the two of us a little to the side and lowered his voice. “Guys, what if we made a mistake? I'm starting to think she might really be just some random girl taking a stroll through the woods.”
“I knew it,” Manny agreed with just as much vigour.
“I mean… I really thought she was a villain.”
“That weird entrance could have fooled anyone,” I allowed, but mainly just to make him feel better about it.
After a brief, shocked pause, the disastrous interrogation continued.
“Alright... look,” Elskan pulled up a chair and sat down in front of our unfortunate prisoner, “I'm beginning to think we might have started off on the wrong foot, so let me rephrase some of those questions. If you are not a part of any malicious military operation, then what are you doing out here in the forest all by yourself and why did you attack my friend?”
“Your friend? You mean that bloke who jumped me from the bushes?”
“He just wanted to go to a toilet in peace!”
“Wait what?” A quick succession of emotions flashed across the girl's face. At first, it was utter confusion, then she seemed to be trying not to burst out laughing and lastly, when she realised we weren't joking with her, the confusion claimed its place again. “You can't be serious.”
I was shocked to see Elskan pull a Swiss army knife out of his pocket, but only to cut the tapes and free the girl of her bonds.
“See? You haven't done anything wrong. If you want to, you can just walk out of that door and leave and we will never see each other again...” Ashley eyed each of us in turn at that, squinting, then rose from the chair. “If you tell us what were you doing out here, of course.”
“Alright already!” she cried. “We don't have anything to eat, so I went picking some mushrooms to bring something back home to my friends.”
“That's actually a pretty good idea,” Manny pointed out. “And we live here... why didn't we think of that?”
El groaned. “Shut up.”
“So I went to the forest because that's where the mushrooms grow, right? And before I had any time to look around, this bloody bastard appears out of nowhere, pulling his trousers down to his knees. Is this bloke supposed to be this friend you're talking about?”
A sudden silence filled the room as a quiet realisation washed over us. We took her outside where James was laying by the fire, complaining about his injuries and holding a dirty rag to his face. He still seemed unable to see properly, so William and El had to help him sit up and face us.
“James, apologise to this young lady, if you don't mind.”
“Excuse me?” the outlaw turned his head from left to right, trying to locate the source of the sound.
“Apologise to the girl. You frightened her half to death.”
“Do I need to remind you she was the one who attacked me in the first place?”
“Just say you're sorry and be done with it!”
James seemed to lock onto us at last and shook his head defiantly. “Alright, damn it! I apologise you sprayed pepper spray in my eyes and assaulted me on our own territory.”
“Apology accepted.” Ashley grinned at him, even though he couldn't see it. “Are you going to let me go now?”
“I suppose,” Elskan shrugged.
“Are you being funny?” Will seemed surprised by the notion. “What did I miss in that kitchen?”
“A mutual agreement. Will you help me see our lovely guest off, Tony?”
I followed right in their heels down the hill, through the thick bushes and over a short wooden bridge. The ground was covered in moss and dead leaves, and our footfalls crunched with every step. Obviously, I hadn't seen any of this in the night, so while Elkan tried to keep some general small talk going, I just looked around to take in as much of our surroundings as I could.
It took quite a while before we came upon a muddy path and El pointed a finger into the distance.
“The town is over that way. Sometimes it gets a little too easy to get lost out here, so just keep going straight forward until you come upon a road and you should be fine.”
“Alright…” Ashley fidgeted in place for a second as if she'd lost her voice, looking around and stalling the departure, and finally cleared her throat. “Look, I'm really sorry for what I did to your friend. I didn't mean to... hurt him or anything. I just hope he's gonna be fine.”
“I'm sure James will be alright. It will make for a nice little story and I'll make sure to remind him of that time he got beaten by a little girl as often as I can.”
“A little girl? Excuse me? I'm twenty one!”
“I really couldn't care less. Now go on, get out of here.”
The girl puffed up her cheeks but said nothing more than that, turned on her heel and started down the path. Elskan reached into his pocket.
“And hey, Ashley! Just in case...”
“Yes?” she turned around just in time to catch the confiscated pepper spray he threw in her hands.
“If you want to use it more effectively, the next time someone attacks you, just take that bottle and stab them in the eye with it. Then press it.”
The lass just smiled from ear to ear, waved us goodbye, and disappeared into the bushes. And just like that, our mysterious visitor was gone.
“Dude, she's going to kill someone.” I couldn't help it but warn him.
“And what? Come on, we've got work to do. I believe I promised to show you around and since we're already out here, I figured I could give you a tour right now.”
I took one last look in Ashley's direction and followed him back to the cabins. There went my bright, beautiful future, never to be seen again.
“Pay attention, Tony!” Elskan waved a hand in front of my face to draw me back to reality and gestured around me in an overly dramatic fashion. “So here we are. About fifteen square kilometres of pristine uncharted territory, and it all belongs to us. Theoretically… because in reality I'm pretty sure it all belongs to the state.”
“Kingdom,” I corrected him.
“Kingdom! Of course. A kingdom too busy trying to stay away from the war to care about its subjects and property. Exactly the way we need it.”
Elskan showed me a bunch of landmarks; too many and too vague to remember them all on my first day, but to name just a few, there was a tall dead tree at the crossroads, some sort of an abandoned hay rack to feed the animals, a blank sign and a huge rock overgrown with moss... A fairly bland assortment of spectacles, though for what it was, it seemed like a nice little walk in nature.
It didn't take that long to notice the forest didn't seem uncharted at all. The whole place was interwoven with old paths and some of the trees we saw were painted with colourful markings to aid any prospective tourists on their travels. No tourists came to England, though. Not anymore. And so the paths stood abandoned and forgotten by the people who once attended the place and the sights remained to be admired only by a small group of lonely friends.
As a last stop on our quick tour, we sat down by a lake not far from the outlaw camp, where El started throwing stones into the water, trying and failing to make them bounce over the surface.
“So, how do you like it in here? I can assure you what you saw was not one of our regular mornings. It's usually pretty boring out here.”
“Yeah, I'd bet.”
“We don't always seize people to question them. In fact, this was the very first time we've done anything like that, so I just want to make sure you understand this was a pretty rare situation and won't get any wrong ideas about who we are.”
“Right.”
“Something like that will never happen again.”
“Of course...” I nodded in agreement.
“Ever!”
“I know.”
“Cool. And now that we've got that out of the way, I was thinking we could maybe get your stuff if you have any. I'm not sure how long do you plan on staying with us, but I'd imagine it would probably be nice to have your own things with you.”
That took me aback. In all the chaos, I didn't even had the time to think about that. Who knew how long I was about to have to stay in here before things calmed down a little and having my phone, my laptop and my clothes certainly would be nice.
All of my things were back at our house though and to get them I would somehow have to get past Sam.
Sam! My sister!
“Hey, El?” I looked over the surface of the water in thought. “You mentioned you have a working mobile phone. Do I remember that correctly?”
“Of course you do. Why?”
I tried to re-evaluate my inner monologue from yesterday. I knew I should let Sam know what was going on and so far, these guys didn't seem to have any obvious malicious intentions. They let me sleep in a place that seemed to be a closely guarded secret among the few of them, they fed me and lent me their own clothes... Did I dare to introduce them to my sister?
“What if I have someone in the town I would like to contact?” I started carefully. “Like my family. Just to let them know I'm alright.”
Elskan looked at me with what I presumed was some slight suspicion behind his eyes. Or was that just my imagination? “What kind of family?”
“My sister. We live together in the same house,” I allowed. “The rest of my family are in Swansea. They don't even know what's going on in here.”
“That could sure be arranged if you would like to. We got some time before lunch if you want to do it right now.”
“Wait… right now?” I wasn't sure I was ready for such an early family reunion. I'd expected to wait at least a couple of days before contacting her, or weeks, or half a year…
“I really don't think it's all that pressing.”
“Come on, It's not a problem.” El threw away the last stone and headed back into the trees with an unstoppable resolve, forcing me to tag along. “I bet we'll be back before Manny takes the food out of the fridge. We usually have to walk to get all the way to Nederstone, but since we confiscated that car yesterday, we could just take it and be there in a few minutes. I needed to go there anyway…”
Eventually I just gave up and followed him to my inevitable doom and, surprisingly, trying to recall the exact location of our new car brought in some unexpected thoughts. “What do you think happened to that old guy?”
“I don't know.” I noticed a hint of unease in his voice. “I hope the army didn't do something horrible to him. He wasn't intentionally helping us or anything. Even they have to understand that.”
“I don't think they would bust an old man down into the dungeons like he were some common criminal. Even Foxglove has to have a line they wouldn't cross.”
Elskan looked at me with doubt clearly written across his face. “Maybe we could find that guy later to check up on him or something?”
“Sure. We could.”
Compared to what the distance felt like yesterday, the car wasn't as far off as I thought it would be.
Seeing the hanging Fiat just sitting there in the bushes as if it was the most natural thing in the entire world was almost a surreal experience. I remembered everything that had happened, of course, but parts of it still felt like some impossible, feverish dream. The car was there, though. Just like the forest, the cabins, the outlaws. Once again I was met with an undeniable reminder it was all a stone-cold reality.
“Do you mind driving? I've got more trouble with this left-sided steering wheel than I would like to confess.”
The keys were still in the door where we'd left them in all the hustle, and I sat down and buckled up my belt. Always use your seatbelts! They save lives.
“You looked a little spooked there.” El watched me from his passenger seat. “Is anything wrong?”
I was positively terrified, to be honest with you. Not just because of the notion of finally contacting Sam. Entering the town so soon after our grand escapade seemed like nothing but madness, and I simply had to share my worries with my guide.
“Oh, that shouldn't be a problem. We do this all the time and as long as you stay out of the way of all the patrols, nobody really cares who you are. Just another hungry face in the crowd. If anything, I might be a little worried about the car. Nobody saw us sitting inside this thing directly, but there is a connection they could make through that old guy so it might be for the best to leave it halfway through and walk the rest on foot.”
Even when we traded the safety of the vehicle for the ability to blend into the crowd as two unrecognisable passers-by, coming back into the civilization still felt strangely unsettling. As if I was subconsciously expecting an officer or a soldier behind every single corner, getting ready to grab me and throw me back behind the bars. Our destination was on the very outskirts of the town, Elskan assured me, and we couldn't even see Lyonhall from this distance, but I swear I could feel the place looming over us like some monstrous animal, ready to pounce on its prey and devour us both at any moment.
And sure enough, once we turned on the high street immediately, I spotted them in the distance: a group of five soldiers on foot reprimanding some poor homeless woman.
I wanted to turn around and leg it before Elskan grabbed me by the arm and pushed me alongside him.
“We're on the other side of the road, buddy. Act natural and they won't even think looking our way. You have to learn to do this stuff properly.”
Act natural. Yes. That's what I used to do, and it's always worked. Except for that one time it didn't.
“Look at these bastards. They have the worst job in the world, don't you think?” El said as we passed the patrol. “Can you imagine that? Just walking around all day, blindly following commands of their betters... I bet they think they are some kind of heroes or something, and all the while they are there just to make someone rich.”
“I think we should be a little quieter,” I whispered.
“Being quiet is way more suspicious than being loud. Don't do that unless you want to seem guilty from a mile away.”
It took a few more anxious turns before we reached a shady-looking old building on a shady grey street located in a shady part of the town.
A tin sign above the door read 'The Old Barrel'.
“A pub? Why are we going to a pub?” It's not like I would have minded any other day, but I thought we were there to write to my sister. Not to get hammered.
“I don't know what's your problem. This is the very finest establishment in all of Nederstone.”
“Is it now?” I watched the broken windows on houses just down the street for any theoretical murderers living inside.
“They are not far from the forest and I know the password to their wi-fi. This is where we go when we need the internet for something. Let's go inside and I'm gonna fire up my messages so you can write your sister.”
In the end, the interior wasn't as bad as I expected. A few raggedy customers sat by the bar and sulked in the corners and the place had a working radio and even real windows, which was pretty rare in our times. I'm not being funny about that. Some of the less fortunate townsfolk had to sell their windows to have a change for the next week. Solid glass panels were expensive.
“This can't be the only place with a working internet connection.”
“I mean, we could always go to the library if you don't mind walking all the way to the centre.”
We ordered a Coke and an orange juice; the waitress gave us a strange look and before I had any time to acclimate El was already jamming a mobile phone in my face.
“Here you go. Text her whatever you need and let's get out of here. We're supposed to have pancakes or whatever it was Manny promised and I don't want to miss that. Not after a week in the dungeons.”
There was no way to hold off the inevitable any longer. I opened up the messages and, taking a deep breath to try and calm myself down, started typing:
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqAZZZgfdm
Elskan626 ⟨11:12⟩ Hey,
Elskan626 ⟨11:12⟩ i just wanted to let you know everything is fine
Elskan626 ⟨11:12⟩ im hiding in the forest
“Whoa, whoa!” El snatched the phone from my hands and pointed at me menacingly. “What do you think you're doing?”
“Writing to my sister? How did you even-“
“And what are you going to tell her, huh? Hey, sis! I'm hiding in the forest with a bunch of outlaws! How are you doing? Everything's fine at home? Love you,” he mocked me. “If anyone from the police or Foxglove saw that, they would come at us, guns blazing. You have to be more subtle.”
“Alright, Jesus!” I snatched the phone back from his reach. “And what do you propose to do, if you're so smart?”
Police or Foxglove? If only he knew at the time. After a moment to reconsider, I came up with a better version of my message.
Elskan626 ⟨11:14⟩ Hey, its me
Elskan626 ⟨11:15⟩ i just wanted t let you know everything is fine
Elskan626 ⟨11:15⟩ im hiding at my friends place
Elskan626 ⟨11:15⟩ unitl the things blow over
Elskan626 ⟨11:15⟩ write me at this number if you want to
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7MNtHVfuH
I had to tone it down a little and decided to use half-truths rather than a full explanation, but in the end, I think I conveyed everything I needed to without giving away any of the more disturbing circumstances of my current situation.
“That's not half so bad,” Elskan had to admit when I finished. “A little more practice and you might best even Shakespear,” he looked around absent mindedly. “You don't mind if I use the toilet, do you?”
I watched him exchange a few words with the waitress and then looked back at the screen again.
Elskan626 ⟨11:18⟩ im sorry
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVresgWgwT
I deleted that line straight away.
Should I have written something more? I couldn't think of anything better or more sincere than that. Sam had to contend with my poor writing skills.
The deed being done, I switched back to the menu where a bunch of icons popped up on me and I was struck with a sudden idea. Looking around for any signs of the returning outlaw, I slumped down in the most inconspicuous manner I was able to perform, literally keeping a low profile. I could just rummage through any files he had in there, and El would never know.
Even I could recognise that was a daft idea though and since I finally had a stable access to some internet connection there was something even better I had to do first. Opening the browser, I searched for 'Nederstone Today', a site that was considered as the most reliable source of all the latest happenings of our little town.
And sure enough, there we were, at the top of the page in between a report about the decline of our failing economy and a brief article concerning life in the London Zoo.
They didn't have our faces and there were no photos to be seen; to a person unaware of our yesterday's adventure, the wall of text could have seemed like nothing but a simple sighting of a wild street chase or even a common military training that had spiralled out of control.
There was the vandalised entrance gate of the fortress, the cars flying down the high street where everyone could see them, the damage we caused and the bullet holes carved into the pavement and despite all of this Foxglove refused to make any official statement to explain themselves. So the general public knew wholly nothing about what had really happened. Nobody knew two men managed to achieve the impossible and escaped out of the impenetrable dungeons of Lyonhall… That wasn't all that surprising of them. I just couldn't decide if it was for the better or for the worse.
Surprisingly pleased with the research I've done and still waiting for my companion, I put the phone back down and turned my attention to the rest of the guests.
Closest to me sat a family of five, probably out to remember the better days when we could all travel and host parties without fear. In one of the corners two young boys were laughing at some video running on an old tablet and by the bar some poor bastard was desperately trying to flirt with a girl while his friend lay unconscious on the table next to them. The drunkard's appearance was striking at a first glance. As if wearing a bright pink Hawaiian style shirt in these grim surrounding wasn't enough to make him stand out in the crowd, nature seemed to endow him with a beak of a nose under small worn glasses that made him look like the Wicked Witch of the West.
As I watched this scene unfold, I could see Elskan returning from his visit to the porcelain chamber of secrets. He happened to be walking down the short flight of stairs just as the man made a wide gesture in the air, yelped in surprise, stumbled and fell backwards right into the way of the unsuspecting outlaw.
A few people around us laughed as he hastily began to apologise to him.
“I'm sorry, mate. I- I'm sorry. I didn't know-“
“It's alright,” the outlaw answered, intent on letting the matter fly past him, but the drunkard didn't appear to be done talking.
“Wait… what's with that accent, huh? Are you one of those- those immigrated bastards?”
And noticing the impending conflict, the waitress put down her tray of glasses and stepped around the counter.
“Mark! I think you've had quite enough for today, didn't you?”
“You don't tell me what to have!”
“I'm sorry, but if you keep this up, I'm going to have to ask you to take your friend and leave. You're scaring away my customers.”
“What? That's not my friend. He just fell next to me!” with some obvious difficulties he turned to the man in question. “Fine then, I know when I'm a bother.”
“Will you get home without any problems?”
“Sure, of course I am. I'm perfectly fine, aren't I? What do you even care?”
He made two solid steps for the door before collapsing to the side, once again grabbing onto the unfortunate outlaw for support.
“On the other hand… Maybe if I could sleep upstairs or…” he suggested, and the woman frowned. “I'm really sorry, but the few rooms I have are full. You'll have to go.” Her eyes sparkled as if a little light bulb gone on over her head and to my shock she spoke to El. “Could you maybe take care of him?”
“Oh, I don't think that's the best idea. We wanted to hurry anyway, before-”
“The drinks are on the house,” she cut him off, “and you could… do it for me?”
He stood there for a second, pondering the offer, while I watched the scene from my seat.
“Where does he live then?”
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVifiBnana
£¢\£Â¢
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQy9mON56v
A few minutes later we were already well on our way towards the destination of this unexpected quest, both supporting the man from each side.
“I thought it was supposed to be just a quick trip. Go get the wi-fi, then go and get lunch.”
“It was. You'd be surprised how often we get into these weird complications. I still intend to get back home as soon as possible.”
“Then why are we helping this bloke, again? I just feel like this is not a part of my problem anymore, you know? I've done what I wanted to and I'd really love to go now.”
“We'll go home in just a hot second. And we are not helping some random guy. We're helping the waitress,” Elskan clarified.
“Ah, of course... I should have seen that from the start.” I rolled my eyes at him. “I'm not sure something like this is going to be enough, though.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I wouldn't exactly call myself an expert on this stuff, but I think you're going to need something more than a tiny favour to get into her trousers.”
It was a bit of some pretty good advice, in my opinion, and I definitely didn't expect El to stop in the middle of the street and start laughing at me and shaking under the dead weight of the drunken sob.
“I appreciate the help, buddy, but it's not like that. Mary is not just some casual girl I would have met for the first time today. Above all the other advantages it brings, we favour her Barrel over other places because we know her and she's clever enough not to blabber about who we are. Just because we mostly stay at home in the woods doesn't mean we were slow at making connections out here.”
So I was right after all. The whole time I was left alone, the waitress must had surely been watching me, and if I decided to snoop through Elskan's mobile phone...
“So you know each other?”
“Yes. And now stop asking.”
“Is she alone in it or are there any other friends you have in the town?”
“What's it to you?” His face darkened and his voice changed in a way I hadn't heard yet, leaving no trace of the hearty laughter I'd heard just a moment before, though it was all over so quick I might have sworn I'd imagined it.
“I'm just curious. That's all.”
“A few,” was the only answer I got after that.
“What does a few mean?”
“Counting Mary back there?” El feigned imagining numerous names appearing at his fingertips. “That would be one.”
“So you don't know anyone besides this Mary.”
“No, not really. One is already one more person than feels safe to me.”
A soft voice from between us told me our new acquaintance must have finally sobered up a little. “Are we there yet? This is taking a longass time for sure.”
“Shouldn't you know that?” El asked him with surprise. “We're looking for your home.”
“I thought we were just going for a walk!”
“You know what? You were right, Tony. I'm starting to regret being such a caring and incredibly chivalrous person. Hey, we can just leave him out here and-”
“No, you can't!” the bloke complained.
“Why the hell not?”
“I'm gonna come haunt you when you least expect it!”
“You're just a sot, you're not a ghost.”
“Point taken! Still, though...”
“Good.” Without my consent, El dropped our lively baggage down on the lawn next to the pavement and, with the incredible dose of luck drunkards often tend to possess, the immediately man rolled over, sat up to face us, and began shouting so that the whole street could hear him.
“But I'll not help you the next time you come knocking! Bloody soldiers… Bugger off, you daft bastards!”
“I don't think he knows who we are,” I pointed out, trying to figure out how to calm him down.
“At this point, I don't think he knows his own name, Tony,” El shrugged with resignation clearly written on his face. “Come on. Let's go home.”
“My damn name? My name is Mark! Doctor Mark O'Bryan, to you! And don't expect me to get you anything else any time soon. We are closed!”
The two of us exchanged a long look, then Elskan leaned forward and snapped his fingers in front of O'Bryan's face.
“Look at me, mate. We're not from Foxglove, you idiot. Did you just say you were an actual doctor?”
“I- Sure… MRCVS... or whatever you want… but not anymore.”
“But you still got the trade, right?” the outlaw grabbed him by the shoulders. “I don't care about your backstory. You know what to do when someone gets hurt or sick or when Manny eats some stupid blue berries I told him not to eat! Don't you?”
“Wha'?”
“That ever happened?” I just had to ask.
“Sure. A few times.”
“I suppose I could.” The drunkard said.
“Or when someone gets doused with a pepper spray. You know what to do in that case?”
“Sure…”
“What are the chances…” With a pained groan and a sudden change of heart, Elskan helped the man back up to his feet. “So what are you to Mary? She sounded like she knew you pretty well.”
“Mary is my sister, of course!” he glared at us as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “My mum popped her out a few years after she popped out me. It's a shame I've lost the lottery and she got all the good genes that were left.”
“Really? Her brother is a doctor? How come she never told us about you?”
“The hell do I know?”
“Alright then. We'd better get a move on. I wouldn't be surprised if Foxglove grabbed us off of the street just for being loud and annoying, and you don't want to be sobering up in their dungeons. Trust me on that one.”
All in all, getting to our destination didn't eat up that much time off our noon. His humble abode turned out to be only a short way to the outskirts of the town, hidden between a tiny car park and a cigar shop at the end of a dead-end road. I was pretty winded after our walk through the streets and understandably looking forward to the approaching end of our adventure. The wall of washed-out red bricks and the boarded-up windows were a more than welcome sight.
We've done our part,” Elskan announced to the empty neighbourhood. “Now I'm sure you can open your own door by yourself.
“Well, about that…” Mark handed me the keys, flailing helplessly in his arms and eager to finally say goodbye to our new friend, I stepped forward to fumble for the lock.
A loud thud from the inside made me stumble backwards.
“You live with someone?”
“Not that I know of it.” The doctor said.
The door squeaked as I pushed it open and we shuffled inside, half carrying the man over his own threshold. Everything seemed fine and quiet so far.
“We don't have to carry him to the bedroom, do we?” I contemplated going the unnecessary extra mile. “I don't think he'll notice he's been sleeping on the floor.”
Another loud bang made us both freeze on the spot.
“Do you have any animals or…” I pictured a huge tamping hound running down the stairs to greet us.
“The only animal in this house is me!”
It was then that the actual source of the noise revealed itself when I peeked into the first-floor kitchen and noticed two men going through the shelves and drawers, scattering all the silverware and food over the floor. One of them looked like a weasel, I'm sure you know the type, and the other, who reminded me more of a bear, huge and hairy as he was, tipped over a shiny bowl that fell onto the tiles and bounced off with a resounding clangour.
“Jeremy? Is that you?” Mark laughed as he noticed the dishes rolling by his legs. “That's Jeremy, lads, my neighbour!”
It took only one good look to notice whoever Jeremy was, he wasn't exactly glad to see the doctor back home so unexpectedly soon. In the light of the afternoon sun, I could see a glint of something shiny and presumably expensive vanishing behind his back.
“But what are you doing in here?”
Despite our host's drunken confusion, I think it was fairly obvious what the intentions of his two uninvited visitors were, and once again dropping him to the floor without any care about Mark's poor posterior, Elskan stepped forward to try and save our skins before things turned ugly.
“Hey there. We're not a part of this- whatever it is you're doing here. So if we could just leave…”
“I don't think that's gonna happen,” the weasel called Jeremy frowned an ugly little frown.
“Alright then… we can talk about this. If you guys drop everything you have and walk out of that door, we can pretend like we never saw you. How about that?”
“Really?” he exchanged a quick glance with his friend and I tell you, every fibre of my being was screaming to get out as fast as we could at the look he gave us. “You two look scrawny like you haven't eaten in a while.”
“Well, you look like you skipped a bunch of classes in the elementary, but-”
I never found out what was the rest of the insult supposed to be, because instead of finishing it, Elskan whirled about and sent Jeremy flying through the air.
“Rip them both a second hole, Tony! Kill him!”
This chapter is, in fact, a story of how I got into the first real fistfight of my life.
Slowly, I looked at my own bear-like opponent, who towered over me by some good three additional heads.
“We- we don't have to do this,” I managed to whimper.
Also! Another side-note. Real punches don't make those satisfying sharp sounds you might be used to. They sound very… wet and meaty. That's the best way I can explain it, honestly. Like slapping a fresh, raw steak and the next thing you know your fist hurts and you're completely winded.
Another brilliant thing to learn is that all it takes is one good punch to the face and you might be out for the rest of the fight.
That was the last thought that went through my head as I raised my hands in defence against a ginormous fist that flew from high above. There was an ugly crack and the whole world went black and the next thing I knew I was sitting on the cold floor of Mark's entryway next to the unusable owner himself. Touching my face, I could feel a strange new curve of my nose and warm blood gushing out from both of my nostrils down over my freshly borrowed shirt.
Across the room, El seemed to be doing a lot better than me. With a quick kick to the weasel's groin, he managed to secure a huge advantage right from the get-go. Petty thief against a wild forest outlaw, they tumbled over the kitchen counter, punching and scratching at each other's throats.
A real-life fight quite rarely tends to take longer than a few seconds, and this one was no exception. With a swift left-handed hook, El managed to send Jeremy collapsing to the floor, whimpering and clutching the remains of his broken teeth. The bear, quite rightfully considering me to be an easy prey, turned his back on me and pulled out a huge jagged blade of a knife. Noticing this horrid turn of events, I tried to warn him, or at least shout to let El know, but all I could get out was an inaudible cry of terror.
There was no need for my help though. As if by some mad luck, or perhaps because he saw him in the reflection in the glass, Elskan darted to the side just in time to move out of the way of the vicious blow and wrestled the weapon from the big man's hands. Before I had any time to stand back up and get my bearings, both men have been properly roughed up and pacified.
“Now get out of here, both of you!” El commanded them in between shallow breaths. “This is not my place and not my stuff and I don't care what you have in your pockets, just scram as fast as you can and don't let me ever see your faces in here again!”
The huge knife he now held in his hands must have given him some advantage in persuasion, because the burglars hurried up and out of the back door as fast as they could, supporting each-other's aching bodies as they made their way over the nearby fence.
Looking around, the outlaw gave me a brief victorious smile before, finally noticing me sitting with my back against the wall and the miserable condition I was in, he knelt down to help me.
“Well, that looks bad.”
“I'm still a looker, aren't I?” I wanted to make light of the situation, simultaneously trying to stop the waterfall of blood gushing down over my chin.
The look Elskan gave me wasn't exactly reassuring, and Mark next to me laughed as if I'd just cracked the funniest joke in the world. However, there was no time to worry about my appearance. A loud rap at the door and a frail voice coming from the front porch of the house swiftly brought us back into reality.
Supporting the owner of the house once more from each side and opening the front door, we found ourselves face to face with an old, greying woman; presumably another one of his hilarious neighbours.
“Mister O'Bryan!” she called out. “Mister O'Bryan, I've called the police. They are on their way and should be here any minute!” She beamed at us with a caring smile of a sweet old grandma. “I heard some strange noises coming from your kitchen!”
While the two of us stared in shock, the best the drunken man could do was to raise a single thumb in a friendly, positive gesture.
“But Mister O'Bryan, what happened to you? And… oh my. Who are your new strapping friends?”
“We have to get out of here,” Elskan turned to me.
“Yeah.”
“Cheers, Missus Northrop. That was very kind of you. I'll take it from 'ere,” Mark cut the conversation right in the bud, patting the shocked woman on the cheek, and even managed to close the door all by himself before collapsing back into our arms.
“This day just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?” El groaned.
“We have to get out of here!” I repeated.
“Of course we do. With our dumb luck, it's gonna be the foxes standing right behind that door the next time someone comes knocking.”
That was the bigger of the two problems. Besides, the thought of meeting any of the officers was just… I couldn't meet Sam. Not so soon, and definitely not like this.
“And they could bust this guy too, simply for getting drunk out of his mind in the forenoon.”
“Right… Well, we can't leave Mary's brother to sleep in a cell like he's some regular bum, that's for sure! She'd never let that one go as long as I live.”
And turning back to Mark, El grabbed him by the shoulders once more.
“Mark, it's almost as if the universe wanted you to get hammered on the most perfect day. You're coming home with us.”
“Is he?”
“If you have any better ideas, I'd love to hear them,” was the last thing El told me before he promptly ended the discussion. “Do you think we'll manage to jump that fence too?”
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtmqCMfLyI
£¢\£Â¢
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgbwxRcGpS
It was well past lunch when the kitchen door finally flew open to reveal three frightened outlaws sitting behind the table and before anyone could stop him, our new addition to the club barged into the room, twisted his face into what, with a little more practice and a little less alcohol in his blood, could have been a pleasant, welcoming smile, and called out:
“Hello, everybody! My name is Mark.”
Right the next moment the doctor collapsed to the floor.
Manny stood up and gently poked him in the ribs with a spoon. “What. The. Hell.”
“Is he dead?” James looked up at us in wonder. “And where have you been all this-” he paused to stare at my broken nose, the red-stained shirt and back down to the drunken sob. “What did you do this time?”
“It's a rough week, alright! I don't know what's going on!” El tried to defend us. “He's not dead, Manny, just really, really exhausted. I'm glad to see your eyesight is better, by the way.”
“It took half an hour to wash that pepper spray out with water.”
“Not water!” a voice from under the table called out. “Use milk!”
“Who's that supposed to be?” James rose from his seat to get a better look. “You disappeared into the forest with that girl without a single word and now you come back with a completely different person? I can't believe I'm saying this, but you can't just bring every random bum for a visit.”
“No offence, Tony,” Will tried to help.
“Of course. That's not what I meant.”
“My friend Mark over here used to be a real doctor,” Elskan knelt down to help the drunkard get back up. “And didn't you just say we needed a real doctor?”
“That didn't mean you were supposed to grab the first person you meet and drag them in here!”
“And he's apparently Mary's cousin.” The overly theatrical look El gave him seemed to be enough to shut James up this time. “He ran into some difficulties and I figured we could help him and let him stay here for a few days, since we seem to be working as a part time roadside hotel already.”
“Does that mean you were at the Barrel?” a sudden realisation crossed James' face, “and with Tony?”
“We were there to get some wi-fi.”
“Right…”
All the action of the day must have begun taking its toll on our spiritually exhausted guest because, if the loud snoring that could be heard from under the table could have been any indication, Mark fell asleep.
“Take a good look at him, boys. This is an outstanding example of what you never want to become.”
With this last educational remark, El turned his attention back to James and his red, painfully swollen face.
“I can see you're doing much better.”
“Better than the two of you, that's for sure. I guess I'm gonna go grab the medkit again… Jesus.”
“By the way, what is it like to get pepper-sprayed?” El stopped him in the door. “You know I don't want to mock you or anything. Not right now, anyway. I'm genuinely curious.”
“Really… it's absolutely horrible. It sounds like some minor inconvenience when you hear about it from somebody else, but in reality, it's like someone just poured burning acid over your entire face. That thing is designed to knock you out, and that's what it does. You can't breathe, and you can't see, and you feel like you're gonna die. Is that enough?”
“Good enough for me.”
“And how about you? You two look like you got into a bar fight and lost. Was it the girl too?” His eyes lit up with sudden suspicion.
“I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you seem to be the only one so far who's fallen prey to her filthy tactics.”
“Then what happened?”
As if waiting for the perfect moment, my stomach growled with impatient urgency.
“I'll tell you all about it over some pancakes, if we have any left. Now Tony,” he spoke to me. “Go wash up and change your shirt. We've had an especially tough day and I don't want to see anything resembling civilization in at least a week.”
And so I paid a quick visit to the toilet, stripped off Will's blood-covered shirt to exchange it for a new one, the outlaws brought out the dinner along with a deck of yellowed cards to pass the time, and that was the end of our first official adventure.
75Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxp6W6N9RMb
You definitely won't believe me if I tell you this, but it was probably the tamest one I can remember. Just you wait and see…
ns44.201.94.236da2
