你好，我是莊坌但。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZaRqLZ528
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXJ92NGRWn
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nkiQub6CJ
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8pu6GZ3lK
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3FiKQ15bJ
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQfWAnhGyV
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVF8gTT3fa
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePEn0d7oNT
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctRA5w066y
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRVe8TmvFA
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5e6YspuWcH
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZHC08wC2W
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuEGRYKZ0o
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcm4joM5rA
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiP1MOr8KbM
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7h3fJKPrF
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKHgEXCQM4
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOCsYuVS6n
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKylxEWE4H
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcl5MIY8jy
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPXTAc1A96
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmayA6vCmq
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvPLMAUlZ0
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmmycp3Em2
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAANQYmrUvU
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcutc89LFa
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYpyI1B02L
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xDztz6NeP
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAa86n2qjR
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hkYPNnwIj
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq00jZQzKbu
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAg62MLcAb
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIWZp8hzui
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUU4jAUrdVo
「你好，我是……」488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzC2KaYvmgf
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RCgZfMiNc
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrlE43w3Jn
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwfJdp2sEg
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyygYWihKNr
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOAfocVtoo
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3i13RLaXnR
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTIov8QA05
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbwVmDPkxh
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLS06VKHeZ
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLy8ROWdWIp
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiobQlfLmAU
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtHrYTyG0B
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPOMa9hcyp
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8csbxjq6M
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOqJF94fNh
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjKIvJd6eS
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGMov3L7Xo
不好啊非常的不好啊！488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYvQwi1QDx
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeuuLsaj6v
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4vl5BzhxR
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIX0qV48BXZ
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMezWjTCJw
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuUl4Cuybf
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hztMiNfIS
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIEcK3aZAW
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsepjMOOLht
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh92mb5ZynM
出了社會，總是得找份工作。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡki3KT2uC5Q
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6Esb7OpLT
我自己買了台50CC通勤。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpILB1SeIZ5
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvz2hLhKzkW
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZTsVKp8P5
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSQ44nhn7C
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxoUtLfO7X
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkHRDqK3uD
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnus8bgYJke
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvT9BuF4KL
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qtZ60FuBM
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzk9qTNE0C
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCkjw89C9a
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeqiC26jTX
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgM8nj9g3e0
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3Bnh7AxUY
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2phFyZ8Zk
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSjuIuTbz3
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8YrRBWx7E
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rdqMk5rGQ
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwY2Bc6288q
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTmHK1OOzz
它熄火，我傻眼。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8M91NjccE
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRtaKHicgg
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfBymtLhYd
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DBYcfgRem
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmph91rRvGW
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVrkxZpPXC
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30B2iw6xDN
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcNF9YfGk1
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKiPm0mbv8
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrdTaaweLI
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpowaN4WkB
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1jwluDbbt
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPo69JJlhW
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQ7MFwTjKV
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMn6joKzvIf
488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhV6b8ZaJVV
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！488Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq10R2AzyK
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