118Please respect copyright.PENANATQWfZrGUwR
我看見那碎了一地的玻璃珠。118Please respect copyright.PENANAcvL1HDyJEI
那些碎片無聲的哭著,為了不被人發現而閃著光。我可以從那些碎片裡知道他曾經完整的時刻,想像他被人愛著的樣子,那想必非常美麗吧。118Please respect copyright.PENANAbGHLa7O9Xa
118Please respect copyright.PENANAuk7xrqik3x
美麗的,超脫人類的純粹,美好的不該出現在這個世界上。118Please respect copyright.PENANAhjqxzDHFX8
所以被人打碎了。118Please respect copyright.PENANA6Q1vc1R1IU
118Please respect copyright.PENANAS92eiiGOFm
但那人一定不知道,他即便被打碎,那份美麗也不會因此有所減損。118Please respect copyright.PENANAjUKBUYjvoB
118Please respect copyright.PENANAxrQUrKHJRK
我可以看見他那些將人刺傷的眼淚,連同他那不願意刺傷人的溫柔,只要躺在他身邊入睡,為了不讓人受傷,他就會慢慢恢復原狀,混進一點瑪瑙色的塵埃,變得更加美麗,不被任何人取代。118Please respect copyright.PENANAaogrBlJSRi
118Please respect copyright.PENANAo5d7MPQzdK
旁人能為他做的事,打一開始就不存在吧。118Please respect copyright.PENANAiCXSs5m7KH
リンドウ需要的事物,必須由他交付給自己才行。118Please respect copyright.PENANAylwNAm9Pcn
118Please respect copyright.PENANAN5Dz5oMhJd
118Please respect copyright.PENANAy2ODHt7O2W
「你明天有甚麼安排嗎?」118Please respect copyright.PENANAfWl4TpbGBM
118Please respect copyright.PENANA7aTaYmbvIr
粗糙的線條在胸口遊走,他眨了眨眼睛,看著那些線條走過的地方。118Please respect copyright.PENANAsn8VdVgMzL
「早上有事務所的舞蹈練習,下午有錄音。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAFvJKzN6PWH
118Please respect copyright.PENANAjX4jjfSwLX
「也就是說不用脫衣服對吧。」118Please respect copyright.PENANA4seDAMw16B
「嗯,但是……啊——」118Please respect copyright.PENANAlWFJw1kyku
118Please respect copyright.PENANAxYjAQlU6tg
但是練習後汗水流過傷口會很痛,跳舞的時候拉扯到傷口或許會流血也說不定。雖然想這麼回應,但他自己的疼痛和鮮血,跟「客人」的快樂是不能相提並論的。118Please respect copyright.PENANA0WIlYtNQP6
比起做愛,那個「客人」更喜歡鞭子和蠟燭,長住的飯店裡有個房間是為他量身打造的,不管怎麼哭喊也不會被人發現,就算被發現了也不會有人理會。118Please respect copyright.PENANASxHtiQ0OyO
118Please respect copyright.PENANArjes7xBNxO
「不過下午有錄音是吧?那得小心不要叫啞了。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAaXf48YwB6m
118Please respect copyright.PENANApDNWHFhGy8
他咬緊牙。118Please respect copyright.PENANADOWl7ACvnQ
尖銳的只有鞭子呼嘯而過的風聲,還有不經意洩出的,連自己都不願意承認的尖叫。118Please respect copyright.PENANArPQXurtHJt
118Please respect copyright.PENANAjwGikLbKAD
「這點程度不算甚麼吧?你應該已經習慣了。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAF8fXhpayrY
「嗯……」他嚥下即將從喉中湧出的甜腥味。「我沒事的,請您繼續。」118Please respect copyright.PENANA3HDAM08vMO
118Please respect copyright.PENANApiFXncpseq
快點結束,快點讓這個夜晚落幕。118Please respect copyright.PENANAfq68DKpXAP
不想聽見的哭聲在內心深處迴響著。118Please respect copyright.PENANAK2hMi05j0L
118Please respect copyright.PENANAw1Qp8mpGKO
這點程度不算甚麼,沒事的,沒事的。118Please respect copyright.PENANA6ib3RBvGoc
摻著腥氣的自我安慰在耳邊呢喃著。118Please respect copyright.PENANAlQSoMC2OEO
118Please respect copyright.PENANAqM1vV8gpuz
即便那個「客人」的名字和長相早已埋沒在記憶之中,那些積累的疼痛依然不時出現在夢裡。118Please respect copyright.PENANA4Xx9cku34y
除了自己的聲音之外,他沒有其他能依靠的話語。118Please respect copyright.PENANAPtcjhUvROx
118Please respect copyright.PENANAMQBk6VJ1lB
謊言的水滴帶著溫熱的腥氣,從劃開的傷口處流入口中。他的飢渴無論如何都無法滿足,只是追著眼前的血液,試圖填滿心中的乾涸。118Please respect copyright.PENANA6b6LijbFEh
118Please respect copyright.PENANAQMqLqclLYV
「工作很忙的話,不用特地過來醫院也沒關係的。」118Please respect copyright.PENANANeF4BcqS0L
118Please respect copyright.PENANAK41QkMf4bC
晃眼的白佈滿視野,能清楚聽見的只有那溫柔的關懷,他眨了眨眼。118Please respect copyright.PENANAIC5xnjLiqd
「不,是我想見姐姐才來的。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAPpN0t330Zq
118Please respect copyright.PENANAUAgmRF888K
「不要太勉強自己喔。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAWU4jSIGS7Q
「嗯,我知道。姐姐,我差不多該回事務所了。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAIePEbvyNQ5
118Please respect copyright.PENANAK7Dqcmskni
想像以前那樣,跟姐姐說「好痛」,「好難過」,但說了也只是徒增煩惱而已,在變得想向人撒嬌之前,得快點離開才行。118Please respect copyright.PENANA2e5hTsk6K0
118Please respect copyright.PENANA4BVMdGxpPW
「我很快就能出院了,總不能一直讓弟弟照顧,所以,如果你覺得累了的話……」118Please respect copyright.PENANAExK5wEw9pe
118Please respect copyright.PENANAXYoMKBUga1
讓生病的姐姐說出這種話……118Please respect copyright.PENANAWijPfJF1OQ
「姐姐,我很喜歡我現在的工作。不用擔心我,我沒事的。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAupeKpUfpE5
118Please respect copyright.PENANAYof60UQGC7
「這樣啊。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAXW6AKsC0O6
118Please respect copyright.PENANAPtezxxyD0V
姐姐皺著眉朝他笑了笑,他大概也露出了同樣的表情吧。但是面對彼此,除了蒼白的「我沒事」以外,甚麼都說不出口。118Please respect copyright.PENANAqrZrzz2drQ
他撒謊從來沒能瞞過姐姐,姐姐的檢查報告也不可能繞過他,不管怎麼掙扎,面對的只有每況愈下的現實和彼此的謊言。118Please respect copyright.PENANATgahOu3VZs
118Please respect copyright.PENANAJEFhndjYDK
他眨了眨眼,把即將奪眶而出的淚水堵回。118Please respect copyright.PENANAv3fsr2pX5z
118Please respect copyright.PENANA6W16giznlA
118Please respect copyright.PENANAgzRNqEcfIB
「你現在叫リンドウ啊?」眼前這人的名字他已經忘了,但這副帶著玩味的表情他還記憶猶新。118Please respect copyright.PENANAj2pRhiDK0h
118Please respect copyright.PENANAj3FL2U12Rg
「跟你沒有關係。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAvVQEwuWbKn
118Please respect copyright.PENANARIAqPaTgSg
「真冷淡啊,當初我們那麼要好不是嗎……」對方的手指做作的搔刮他的下巴,但這只是虛張聲勢。118Please respect copyright.PENANAMg54F52VR9
118Please respect copyright.PENANAxMOooTVdy8
不管是リンドウ還是對方,都不過是收藏櫃裡漂亮的展示品而已。118Please respect copyright.PENANA5YFakj8E78
就像リンドウ的謊一樣,對方也有保護自己尊嚴的手段。118Please respect copyright.PENANAR48PCzbz0u
118Please respect copyright.PENANAVr4fWEWT9E
リンドウ閉上眼,腦海裡浮出的是雙帶著憧憬的眼神。118Please respect copyright.PENANA4nEHBAPdIl
——我一直很崇拜你,因為喜歡你才決定當偶像的。118Please respect copyright.PENANAR5WQm4zl9q
118Please respect copyright.PENANA7FbE9K8xu9
「你放下工作到這裡來,只是為了說這種話嗎?」118Please respect copyright.PENANAsvci4DPyKh
リンドウ睜開眼睛,那雙憧憬早在時光中支離破碎,只剩下脆弱的自尊裹著空洞的內裡。118Please respect copyright.PENANA1WeKHmemsN
118Please respect copyright.PENANA7hiQBgPrf1
「不,我是來給你送信的。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAWwfKJj03rG
對方指間夾著一封信,封口上的筆跡眼熟到讓人作嘔的程度。118Please respect copyright.PENANAsKX31WN1q9
118Please respect copyright.PENANAyypM9hDDOr
「我不會收那個人的信的。」118Please respect copyright.PENANA3VfXIRqc8v
「你會收的,因為不是別人,而是我來送信的。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAG2OKbSaErX
118Please respect copyright.PENANA6Gn9J3lMoY
——偶像是這種……像妓女一樣的工作嗎?我一直以來崇拜著的,原來是這樣骯髒的人嗎?118Please respect copyright.PENANAuP74RXN9b7
自作主張的把別人當作夢想,將一切歸罪於他人。118Please respect copyright.PENANAa1NfupNECq
118Please respect copyright.PENANAAHr2amZjxU
——說點什麼啊,為什麼不否認?118Please respect copyright.PENANAA2X2lPtBzV
擅自覺得對方會因此而有罪惡感。118Please respect copyright.PENANAcR935r18rv
118Please respect copyright.PENANAbdk7ng9b3u
リンドウ冷冷地看著那封信,以及那微微顫抖的手指。118Please respect copyright.PENANAQFM6NIk5Mx
並不是因為覺得對他有所虧欠,只是出於廉價的,對過去的自己的同情而已,リンドウ伸手接下那封信。118Please respect copyright.PENANA1rjJZCihdE
118Please respect copyright.PENANAAakfRqklJB
「我收下信了。這樣就行了吧?」他將信對折幾次,將封口上的筆跡和混亂藏起,朝對方笑了笑。118Please respect copyright.PENANARzh4tDLijm
118Please respect copyright.PENANAr1TT0b0fCD
リンドウ的笑似乎刺傷他了,對方遊刃有餘的表情出現裂口。118Please respect copyright.PENANAxO9r9ZAfGM
「……如果你也過得悲慘的話就好了。」他的手按在牆上,將リンドウ蓋在他的陰影之下。「只有你像沒事一樣站在地獄外頭微笑什麼的,太礙眼了。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAMBTGlE50zG
118Please respect copyright.PENANASbam7l0rfj
「所以你才告訴那個人我的行蹤嗎?」118Please respect copyright.PENANAl09lK0dAVn
118Please respect copyright.PENANA35xjBsDCvN
「只是偶然在網路上看到而已,關於你的事情總是消失的太快了,像是被誰特意藏起來一樣。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAgPKrjdvzUq
118Please respect copyright.PENANAxLuqU8zgFg
像是被誰特意藏起來一樣……118Please respect copyright.PENANApPtmZ8qe6l
リンドウ闔上眼睛,背靠著牆不做回答。118Please respect copyright.PENANAn40GrpaULE
118Please respect copyright.PENANAYhzj6uys76
「我曾經很喜歡你的,那個人也是。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAicvrpb5F4n
睜開眼睛,對方已經離開了,或許是他開口趕走的,又或是對方自行離開的,他不記得自己是怎麼度過這段時間的。118Please respect copyright.PENANAGEYQLbRc2I
118Please respect copyright.PENANAdjCFErpgvO
不管是向雜誌爆料他的私事的人,還是一次次設計把他帶到飯店房間裡的人,那些情感收束起來都寫著扭曲的「喜歡」的字眼。118Please respect copyright.PENANAtNaJTUwuyX
「喜歡」也好,「愛」也好,雖然知道那些詞背後蘊含了美好的事物,但那都只存在於他以外的世界裡。118Please respect copyright.PENANAcau28U1o2L
118Please respect copyright.PENANAjQppbifdZ2
因為「喜歡」,所以想知道,因為「喜歡」,所以想破壞掉。118Please respect copyright.PENANAJp77rKWc7E
「喜歡」到底是甚麼呢?美麗的解釋和刺痛的記憶一同浮出,他剛相信哪邊才好?118Please respect copyright.PENANAOHc1KYlPzX
118Please respect copyright.PENANAYFQgkvm4sQ
「喂,リンドウ,你在這裡幹什麼。」118Please respect copyright.PENANA5vJTmrWW4X
——把腳張開……118Please respect copyright.PENANAIU0IvKaG70
118Please respect copyright.PENANAhwqMCsYJGe
身體不自覺地想閃避聲音的源頭,未經允許的回想起早已遠去的疼痛。118Please respect copyright.PENANAeam7EEk5iY
118Please respect copyright.PENANAEG5d915xWX
冷靜下來,沒事的。118Please respect copyright.PENANAumykfpXveW
リンドウ看著有些驚訝的黒曜,深吸口氣強迫自己放鬆下來。118Please respect copyright.PENANAqnNpJAZnN1
118Please respect copyright.PENANAd5oyO2ahWU
沒事的,沒事的,我有好好藏起來,只是出了一點小意外而已。118Please respect copyright.PENANA3v5OChaOAa
藏在手裡的信被捏成小團,恐慌壓縮成小塊,他眨了眨眼,熟練的收拾好表情。
連自己都保護不了甚麼的,已經是很久以前的事情了。118Please respect copyright.PENANAnt47ph5hoF
118Please respect copyright.PENANA5eXB9y2e1p
118Please respect copyright.PENANAUb5xz2f7h4
「如果因為你的事情,而被牽連出其他見不得人的嗜好的話會很麻煩的。」那人將幾張照片扔進碎紙機裡。「所以從明天開始你就會從這個業界裡消失。」118Please respect copyright.PENANABo00rjNc8P
118Please respect copyright.PENANAHJsRXSDcGW
這個客人是個收藏家,正當著リンドウ的面將他那些收藏品銷毀。118Please respect copyright.PENANAXlqPwL6PNq
118Please respect copyright.PENANAww5CnVVSeV
「不過,說到消失也有很多種方法,有希望麻煩的源頭離得越遠越好的人,也有準備了項圈和地下室在等著飼養你的人。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAoRF0Gf6uUI
118Please respect copyright.PENANADJv7OdOnio
リンドウ坐在床上,用手碰了碰圈著脖子的皮革製品,莫名覺得好笑。118Please respect copyright.PENANAyWLuBbDZmw
118Please respect copyright.PENANAmV4AL6F1l0
「您也打算飼養我嗎?」118Please respect copyright.PENANA45qZZs69Rd
「怎麼會呢?你是個聰明的孩子,知道我們不會在這時候丟著你不管。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAEH3H8iq2dU
118Please respect copyright.PENANAUDQkHRD9cK
潛入最深的夜裡,沾上夜晚的吻痕,當有一天他被人曝曬在陽光下時,那些親吻過他的人也將無所遁形。118Please respect copyright.PENANAjjl80Cpbtu
這是他所能做的唯一的算計。118Please respect copyright.PENANAqG0PwTHZSI
118Please respect copyright.PENANAOhjHj3sI9Q
「你姐姐已經被轉到我熟人的醫院了,我也準備了不會過問你過去的場所,只要你安安靜靜的待在那裡不出來就行了。」118Please respect copyright.PENANApoqF58vHKe
118Please respect copyright.PENANApo3BB4Xsku
「這不就是飼養嗎?」118Please respect copyright.PENANAnUltIVSBPX
「但籠子比較大不是嗎?而且也沒有項圈。雖然你經紀人那裡不歸我管,但我有辦法讓他找不到你,這樣你就該滿足了吧?」118Please respect copyright.PENANA59hP0FlEUr
118Please respect copyright.PENANASXEiPPbImN
滿足?118Please respect copyright.PENANAmWYCfZeelp
118Please respect copyright.PENANAbDqlTqphpt
在他消失之後,那個人也只是受到些輕微的懲罰,在給人送上新的年輕祭品之後,又會回到原來的樣子吧?118Please respect copyright.PENANAvmRLsI0S1d
他只是狼狽的逃走,將更艱難的路留給下一個替代他位子的人而已。118Please respect copyright.PENANAmX6vjYAbrx
118Please respect copyright.PENANAoojN4zJ63e
滿足?118Please respect copyright.PENANAA7N2ZlOQpB
118Please respect copyright.PENANAKolhe8FBI6
「你會乖乖聽話的對吧?在關於你的收藏品都銷毀掉的現在,連你本人都得銷毀掉的話,我會很心痛的。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAl9zvYRsdYb
那人跩住皮帶的另一端,將項圈收緊,一邊說著「愛」,一邊將氧氣從他身上奪走。118Please respect copyright.PENANAayAtMFOWNL
118Please respect copyright.PENANATTsQW6OuHz
來做個保險吧。那人朝他晃了晃錄音筆。118Please respect copyright.PENANA4JzTy4rqtQ
「說你愛我。」118Please respect copyright.PENANA6XrJIVkak1
118Please respect copyright.PENANAKhbP9BaVzs
「我……愛您……」118Please respect copyright.PENANAW4IY2MqAdL
118Please respect copyright.PENANAZfbiw9p3xT
沒事的,沒事的……118Please respect copyright.PENANA80dHIZPoab
今天之後就能得到解脫了。118Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5XMxUQvQB
118Please respect copyright.PENANAajG8vXDuo2
——從那些「愛」著我的人的手中。118Please respect copyright.PENANAIjcxTVBm0W
118Please respect copyright.PENANAIdQ4vuDImS
「在我去見你之前,你可別逃走喔。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAX9Lrc5BEMz
沒事的,那個人到不了這裡,就像他無法離開這裡一樣。沒事的。118Please respect copyright.PENANADB2MwEDpvh
118Please respect copyright.PENANAJSMhHgKeow
「沒事的,リンドウ……」118Please respect copyright.PENANAAjkBKHtH8M
118Please respect copyright.PENANACi996vH3s5
熟悉卻又喚不起名字的聲音和自己的話語重疊。118Please respect copyright.PENANA1LjPnS1sOw
那是只屬於他的謊言,一旦由他人說出口,那些事似乎就會真的變得無關緊要起來。118Please respect copyright.PENANA8ynwbRK0IK
118Please respect copyright.PENANAYIPCwV8736
「才不是……沒事……」118Please respect copyright.PENANAGNwLpoSTHz
喉嚨裡蓄積了無數個夜晚的鮮血,沒能填補胸口的空缺,只是黏稠的附在聲音上,在口中動彈不得。118Please respect copyright.PENANAq4dsgdglzc
118Please respect copyright.PENANA35UK3Y48il
才不是沒事,別對我說這種話。118Please respect copyright.PENANACRQvcqLxuR
想大聲咳嗽,讓那些透明的血液從話語身上離開——118Please respect copyright.PENANAXXZ5jUSllC
118Please respect copyright.PENANAEBx8zIE1V3
救救我。118Please respect copyright.PENANAbcFvy4WzcA
118Please respect copyright.PENANAzmWKDeGmSi
「這樣啊,リンドウ能說出來真是太好了。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAm3Izfb3NeC
118Please respect copyright.PENANAeAoZfBHrta
再多說一點也沒關係。118Please respect copyright.PENANAcwyA2G6y4D
一隻手溫柔的撫摸著他的頭髮,會不會突然用力的拉扯髮絲,將更多他所害怕的事物擠入身體裡呢?118Please respect copyright.PENANAL4UlD30Xjz
118Please respect copyright.PENANAfYQcP6W2e6
「不想說也沒關係,如果リンドウ這麼期望的話,我就再多等一會吧。」118Please respect copyright.PENANAO6SjnI3dlH
118Please respect copyright.PENANA1WwC3tmqgF
天就快亮了,在那之前做個好夢吧。118Please respect copyright.PENANAishGEfX1kt
那隻手反覆的,輕輕地拍撫著肩,他細數著,擔心會不會在來到某個數字時將他重重打醒。118Please respect copyright.PENANAqS52WQ9kD0
118Please respect copyright.PENANAB0MGDYC5ls
數著,118Please respect copyright.PENANAs1KMAnRC1F
數著,118Please respect copyright.PENANAefcFvkQmU7
數著,118Please respect copyright.PENANABHTWlGu5WE
數著,118Please respect copyright.PENANAGOMICv0Cg7
數著……118Please respect copyright.PENANAlNBOqWt5hx
118Please respect copyright.PENANAfxxhkleRkB
連做過的夢都不記得,只是害怕,期待,顫抖,融化在足以將雲霧撥開的溫暖裡。118Please respect copyright.PENANA7HmWLhpJxP