如果讀者喜歡此故事，希望你能正評+留言，或到penana點「喜歡」，謝謝你的支持！320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAZjYGEkXe
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https://www.penana.com/story/59387/勵志-命運的顏色-一個書寫障礙患者的故事320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtdnHaFCud
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＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0V3vRXRWB
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147章 - 不應該有的空閒320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclrRXVUI30
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94Yb7RsFUH
兩年多過去，我一直沒有全職工作，沒有跟半個朋友來往，過著封閉式生活。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc72OiG7mDj
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuq89baMllT
今天運動完了，我回到家裡，一如以往空無一人、昏暗的大廳，洗好澡，打算推開房門的時候，聽到身後另一道房門拉開了。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjoXAYPr46
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「程，回來了嗎？」老爸說。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWCP7kplcoN
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnHR50ZvKP
老爸數年前動過手術，幸運地，他的康復進度良好。數年過去了，傷口雖然還會隱隱作痛，老爸按時吃藥，依照醫生的指示，身體已沒大礙。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujLLYCtYBg
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4jKKR2Mhl
從前老爸是夜班司機，大病之後沒有上夜班了。不言敗的他，總是希望重投職場，以較低薪水重操故業，當兼職日班私人司機，每星期上班三天，其他時間在家裡休息。據老爸說，他的體力能應付工作需要，老媽當然想老爸以身體作為首要考慮，但是考慮到終點是希望老爸走出疾病的陰霾，所以放任醫學上失去工作能力的老爸繼續工作。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoGdVLsdVL
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8QAscVCxh
一個秋日的午後，今天老爸不用上班。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5N13SeFC7
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMnw69qwjd
「嗯。」我說。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KUFFfGr2l
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBbhcaTaC2
難道這個衣裝要出去嗎？320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNF6opBLun
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6w87L8nXe
「吃了飯沒有，要做飯給你吃嗎？」老爸說。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3LxcTbIxM
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡks03OMf0CP
「不…不用了，已經吃了。」我說。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcscnsaUgNC
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmB13QDsO6B
「有空聊一下嗎？」老爸扶著牆壁，坐到沙發說。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pLbvfPbc7
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzIRY0Wz2e
「…」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxX58PvUxr
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwd4J16B4Jn
突然要聊天，總覺得不會是甚麼好事。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Tq2S4PT7O
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdaVONkdtq
我倒了杯熱茶給老爸，坐到了老爸身旁，心裡準備好迎接老爸的訓斥。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaEvtGrf5w
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wTbj7TFXW
我稍稍察看老爸的臉，他是一張仁慈的臉。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfO827bA7G
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYrxLz7j0z
「今天沒有補習嗎？」老爸說。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFh01L978g
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHpcKoIPvK
「有啊，晚上有一個學生。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mIKqNGsVZ
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSf491VPUs
「不用等你吃飯了？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOE1mHfd0M
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtvuqO1kyv
「我吃了飯再出去。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2IONY5DRt
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC691ixvIT6
「收入…還好嗎？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvOomLTCOE
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FO2Wd5QUJ
兩年了，沒有全職工作的事實，家人當然知道，以前我跟他們說︰「我的開支會自理」，老爸老媽竟然沒有反對，光哥…自中學以後就不再管我的事了，所以沒人阻止我的決定。我一直依靠補習那份不高不低的收入過活，其他時間不斷做戶外運動和在房間做訓練，希望終有一天能打開那個「開關」，離開發展協調障礙這個問題。但時至今天，問題依然持續。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2J0OSiMOSb
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3sQAuPBEI
「嗯。」我馬虎回答。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqt1t075DPg
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKVsgET0EV
「不夠花的話我給你一點？」老爸說。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdbekGqLi0
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN8Mm3Q7OG
因為光哥的工程公司經營理想，他不時給一大把鈔票作為家用，感覺是送錢給父母的孝子，老爸老媽見到我的情況，不時問我錢夠不夠花，總是被我拒絕。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUFCVZU4cD
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbt92c421d
「不用了，我還可以，老爸你把錢儲起來吧。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbw6cTkrOH
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6Ti0w1Shf
路是自己挑的，到死，都要把路走完，為自己的決定負責。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsAkekVnXh
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTo8l3E3iI1
「想關心一下你的情況，可以嗎？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oMkntq8xG
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjHcpZkOkl
你的身份是父親，沒有甚麼可以不可以啊，否定我的決定也是有道理的。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdxvtPJGI7
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6b3jkuPJFx
「程你…真的沒打算找全職工作嗎？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDevxo9hR4d
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NSrHpkrl0
「…」我盯著屋內的一角，思考怎樣回答。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbRMCpyTj6
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErkQiQgK26
「雖然錢方面你現在不成問題，但是長久下去，人的擔子愈來愈大，我們幫不了多少啊。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcrfZJ4zfh
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwXpCkdmsd
作為補習老師，時薪升幅不算理想，最理想方法是多找幾個學生，這樣就犧牲時間，跟我的主要目標相違背。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8W4KpztO1I
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNykOoofJt
「你爸我，知道你不是沒有工作的心，你每天都有去上班，幹自己喜歡的事，沒有問我們要過半毛錢，這些我們是知道的，但是你的情況，我們開始擔心了。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYb5xG7YWnA
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQfbPnYQAw
要是老爸來硬的，我一定頂嘴，但是他用柔和的方式說這些話，我反駁不了，準確點說是「不忍心反駁」...320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchoo1pBRoY
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60M8LA6N7p
「喜歡教學生，為甚麼不當全職補習老師？我朋友的女兒就是補習老師，這樣工作會穩定一點吧？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8JrBO3siH
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpdOYQM39o
我不是沒有想過當全職補習老師...全職就沒有時間了。我選擇維持這個狀態是希望找到更多時間，為身上的機能病找到答案，我深信自己能辦到，所以從來沒有放棄過，也沒有放棄過自己...320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXN15I9MjTO
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQMWlOCpx9
這兩年裡，我不斷嘗試以前聽過的疑似答案，早就試過但沒甚麼治效、物理治療師的治療指示，還有白先生說的運動治療法，每天抽很多時間反覆做過無數次測試、鍛鍊，甚至中學確診之前被我否定了的方向也重新跑了一遍，有開倒車的感覺，但事實是︰所有都不像是答案，手部活動能力沒有突破性的改善...天啊...320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLMMhHp4QV
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PjUtAedc3
可能，我對自己是個「不正常的人」這個自我定位耿耿於懷，不想被別人標籤，也不想接受這個事實，所以才花費無數時間想要治好這個病。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazH49DWlwy
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3nIX4sjQM
念念不忘，結果白花了兩年。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa99J70DJkh
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1MxXJpvzL
值得為一個旁人看來只是小問題的病花掉青春黃金期的兩年嗎？320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHyVyhRiSJ
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5fDPRNP0U
我想沒有經歷過這類病症的人，是不會明白我的痛苦。這個想法，從中學開始我已經抱持著。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpcMcx3Mdl
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJKZA54O9o
即使是經歷過這種苦的白先生，也不太明白我的痛苦。他憑自己的其他優秀條件，成功找到其他類別的工作，他還「幸運地」解決了抄寫的問題，成就非凡。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSI6iLryKQ
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5d0gemOHd
一將功成，萬骨枯。有多少同病相連的畢業生被這個病折騰得死來活去，迷失在時間的洪流之中？難道失敗者會站出來分享失敗的經驗嗎？從來只有成功者有資格搞分享會，讓所有人看成功者美輪美奐的一面。於我而言，我覺得失敗者也值得搞自己的分享會，前車之轍，可以借鑒，但是世界價值觀否定了我的想法，我一直找不到經驗分享，不論是生活周遭，還是越洋到世界彼端的網絡世界。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefJMryAmed
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNE8KJKPFO
「…」我好像有甚麼難言之隱似的，純粹低下頭。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfV7hesdjIb
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44PpZnlCuo
「有甚麼事想要做嗎？」老爸說。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjshH0gy8N
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJx6U5Ul2gt
我微微點頭。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSl1vyR3gb
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWB3o44BTaJ
「是不是那個...甚麼病？」老爸問。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypziXgR8GM
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhHDtsuq9R
原來老爸還記得我有這個問題。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWEnZSlxLB
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2hMASYpKY
我又微微點頭。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqP56ZG8qF
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25FQgRrPiE
「你爸我，還有你媽，唸書真的不多，不知道你發生了甚麼事，但是人的時間是有限的，你看我和你媽，臉上皺紋跟頭髮一樣多，不要留下後悔啊。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF32viEGmZx
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxeTObkw75
不要留下後悔…320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYxzeYyYld
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnd0LCAGRC
其實我現在做的事就是為了不留下後悔，但好像在製造另一個後悔…我開始搞不清了。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5ve6bRZKM
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzG7BYoFA1
「聊別的吧。光快要結婚了，他有跟你聊過甚麼嗎？」老爸轉話題。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8lbPnoBIy
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegnswSUHJ7
「沒有。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPj09Uc0kx
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnil5Kqi2G8
這幾年我不斷向光哥搭話，他總是一句起，兩句止的回答，他怎會主動跟我說甚麼。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQSrRyfHQV
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Nb7z0f4Qn
「甚麼？竟然沒有？兩星期後就是光的婚禮了。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAL8QItq3o4
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXJHqiWVwO
「甚麼時候安排的？我完全不知道啊。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigBVZvp0Lc
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5Gqm10Af4
我只知道光哥跟一個叫歐陽家琪的女孩交往了幾年，她不時在我們家吃飯，感情穩定，就只是這樣。我真不知道婚期。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjonYtoqdN
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7X4EGXQT1w
「光打算儀式簡單一點，把錢省下來。早上註冊簽文件，下午到雙方的家敬茶，晚上在茶樓擺幾圍，儀式就當完成了。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcInrucrZF
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKurbfwvN3
「沒有禮服之類的嗎？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMCnkoQdwI
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpzl866zMj
「沒有，光主張一切從簡，他打算穿運動裝而已。」老爸難掩萬分恩惠心情地說。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0v9zgIoh7N
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprz1y0lkTR
穿運動裝結婚…320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNesN8ZKseh
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7a0xzb6Zs
「即是說我們不用刻意打扮？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJ4RjfuSKG
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvlXmXepqR
「我想是吧，我跟你媽打算穿得像逛街一樣而已，不然比主角更好看又有點奇怪。」老爸笑著說。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡek5DF07fGq
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPmatRL2L5
「那天我有甚麼可以幫忙嗎？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGSZ8ALjp1
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrhaKLHvhE
「嗯…暫時沒有。你那天早點起床，給一天光吧？補習可以調動一下時間嗎？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbhCSsweL7
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKE8IFE54Jv
「好的。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5J74eeS45
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5oQnLivO1
「還有，光說你不用買甚麼給他了，不用花這個錢。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aRyz4ROhS
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8PTAhNI6u
「…」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMXLbg4zb1
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZ0WJDHfat
買結婚禮物的話，獨力選一份禮物，少說也要二千多塊，精美一點或者挑戒指可能要三千，可能光哥考慮到我的經濟狀況吧。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9sZENTARp
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8CZ63rtEg
「杜家終於有媳婦了，光真的混得不錯。」老爸的臉洋溢著幸福，老懷安慰般。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ24beHYIGh
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD8wvBZ5aT
光哥中學成績太爛，沒有繼續唸書，早早踏入社會，卻因為找到自己前路去向，早早啟程出發、在社會混，混得理想；反觀自己…也是混社會，卻是「胡混」的「混」，事業還沒有起步。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQICCACiZnl
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjOCfcaCX6
「其實你爸我…雖然今天只有自己一個人吃飯，但是相當高興，因為你們都有自己的事業︰你媽要工作，你也要工作，光除了工作還要陪女朋友，能有這個家庭，我非常高興。現在我最擔心的是你啊，程。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTqfezPf0e
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1hB7CpFAj
「…」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrN98O6iC5
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORGRf3l98o
「可以的話，我真想你帶一個人上來吃飯，能倒茶給我喝就最好了。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyk9QZ4GutI
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNw2pJLQGV
我就知道這個話題今天一定躲不了…你要喝茶是嗎？我倒給你，你要多少杯？320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWz8NxVPa3
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsFOLRufMr
「程啊。」老爸抓起我的手。「要學會為自己打算啊，人會老的。」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPP5TTFe42
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVoEk235l5
…320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjf9tdnaeEW
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoq7XiHMhMC
「嗯…嗯。」我只哼出一聲，表情苦澀，心裡被揪住似的。「呼…」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlIUX72n6i
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWWyogIIyu
速度…到今天還沒有結果…320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmWcO4am32
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTH4cvEoUYU
「肚子真的不餓嗎？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8KAPX13XV
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEo3lF3Wnhj
「嗯。」我哼聲。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRHzrSyKlz
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMonLtQCe3
「好吧，聊了很久，那麼不阻你了。」老爸說畢，蹣跚地回到房間休息了。320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuR5S5mNYp
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVpAhNq2SS
為何一個病人，即使被評為「永久失去工作能力」，拼死擠出半點力量，成就出不可能；而身為健全人士的我，卻甚麼也做不到…320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvlQjSI5mp
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGfKxFDG8u
「為甚麼？」320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJ8BVZqXTo
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBv89XnaxE
為甚麼…320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MWdHoXGbP
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOMGNAqDb1
我不想再停留在這個階段啊，那麼接下來的路，要怎樣走？320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIa6fE9gYhJ
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDf8xp9lST
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwXA8L37qI
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8RMxrhduC
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QHguAPfA9
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFKzTcy85C
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqq1hmejmg
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZLULfy61B
320Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtZSUnPB4e
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