如果讀者喜歡此故事，希望你能正評+留言，或到penana點「喜歡」，謝謝你的支持！371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRibTD1yKsG
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhw5TE9lwHo
https://www.penana.com/story/59387/勵志-命運的顏色-一個書寫障礙患者的故事371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK931uGDT6p
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlPL6T9JyA
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJietZXjiO
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIko7ZKYZw
147章 - 不應該有的空閒371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VrutzfLtT
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrGKMxammM
兩年多過去，我一直沒有全職工作，沒有跟半個朋友來往，過著封閉式生活。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdorqCce8Rm
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdBoi7BbMR
今天運動完了，我回到家裡，一如以往空無一人、昏暗的大廳，洗好澡，打算推開房門的時候，聽到身後另一道房門拉開了。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2rdIWW6UM
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbfFJmk3pg
「程，回來了嗎？」老爸說。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWHG1zd0Wo
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0mIuK8QKP
老爸數年前動過手術，幸運地，他的康復進度良好。數年過去了，傷口雖然還會隱隱作痛，老爸按時吃藥，依照醫生的指示，身體已沒大礙。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyyjsllwE3
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZDzkxFLZ6
從前老爸是夜班司機，大病之後沒有上夜班了。不言敗的他，總是希望重投職場，以較低薪水重操故業，當兼職日班私人司機，每星期上班三天，其他時間在家裡休息。據老爸說，他的體力能應付工作需要，老媽當然想老爸以身體作為首要考慮，但是考慮到終點是希望老爸走出疾病的陰霾，所以放任醫學上失去工作能力的老爸繼續工作。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYY2B4CrCdR
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYCWTzv4bY
一個秋日的午後，今天老爸不用上班。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡci19bIlw0j
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSEuHQ4Ftk
「嗯。」我說。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEufyCy2Oi
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQy0y3bFCa
難道這個衣裝要出去嗎？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOiiAcaihJ
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dqSAF3IXZ
「吃了飯沒有，要做飯給你吃嗎？」老爸說。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGxDdyNRVX
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiJz8fRebm
「不…不用了，已經吃了。」我說。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm83h4tUQ6q
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9dkyqAWRY
「有空聊一下嗎？」老爸扶著牆壁，坐到沙發說。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHt4sznuRb
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnyw25FmB7
「…」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvbHeLHuJj
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80fUt8KO5K
突然要聊天，總覺得不會是甚麼好事。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOvogm2Vk6
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAujiSENiaA
我倒了杯熱茶給老爸，坐到了老爸身旁，心裡準備好迎接老爸的訓斥。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76V3mYSKoh
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutNlZYtIPD
我稍稍察看老爸的臉，他是一張仁慈的臉。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq92UdIvCW
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXup5SJdRXj
「今天沒有補習嗎？」老爸說。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa24rzwfluc
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEILKiaqyyc
「有啊，晚上有一個學生。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPnTIis5ND
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5fokpwk5F
「不用等你吃飯了？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOEKmj4AAB
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPcslyb8bC
「我吃了飯再出去。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4EV7NQSsZ
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPMbQ8y3D0
「收入…還好嗎？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOX4gajfkMD
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIILDKZd4VR
兩年了，沒有全職工作的事實，家人當然知道，以前我跟他們說︰「我的開支會自理」，老爸老媽竟然沒有反對，光哥…自中學以後就不再管我的事了，所以沒人阻止我的決定。我一直依靠補習那份不高不低的收入過活，其他時間不斷做戶外運動和在房間做訓練，希望終有一天能打開那個「開關」，離開發展協調障礙這個問題。但時至今天，問題依然持續。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1prYCp3a9
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDLNIULiXd
「嗯。」我馬虎回答。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxW9twvi6Oj
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61jVrCq8dv
「不夠花的話我給你一點？」老爸說。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mMUzRDlts
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYJjSgjyuf
因為光哥的工程公司經營理想，他不時給一大把鈔票作為家用，感覺是送錢給父母的孝子，老爸老媽見到我的情況，不時問我錢夠不夠花，總是被我拒絕。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxcmn0saQJ
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrb4BxM67H
「不用了，我還可以，老爸你把錢儲起來吧。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTJ6LKT7Su
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtDzy0nkCv
路是自己挑的，到死，都要把路走完，為自己的決定負責。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7sHoopCMi
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZDDEHgRU5
「想關心一下你的情況，可以嗎？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnj5LStMx0D
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZRmd33bDf
你的身份是父親，沒有甚麼可以不可以啊，否定我的決定也是有道理的。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknI0vHAMYC
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnTCVveckH
「程你…真的沒打算找全職工作嗎？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡac1FpHJJ9n
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8tDcx5oR8
「…」我盯著屋內的一角，思考怎樣回答。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DswTrgd0A
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYHKLHxYGd
「雖然錢方面你現在不成問題，但是長久下去，人的擔子愈來愈大，我們幫不了多少啊。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOmaxMeGBH
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROXnpiigHq
作為補習老師，時薪升幅不算理想，最理想方法是多找幾個學生，這樣就犧牲時間，跟我的主要目標相違背。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHMtAnU3Cp
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTnJzhj5Px
「你爸我，知道你不是沒有工作的心，你每天都有去上班，幹自己喜歡的事，沒有問我們要過半毛錢，這些我們是知道的，但是你的情況，我們開始擔心了。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxhYIYNeni
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDPHwKt9mf
要是老爸來硬的，我一定頂嘴，但是他用柔和的方式說這些話，我反駁不了，準確點說是「不忍心反駁」...371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MgswMzygX
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNOlKi7L2F
「喜歡教學生，為甚麼不當全職補習老師？我朋友的女兒就是補習老師，這樣工作會穩定一點吧？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQOwyEYl6R
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz71rvOCBOr
我不是沒有想過當全職補習老師...全職就沒有時間了。我選擇維持這個狀態是希望找到更多時間，為身上的機能病找到答案，我深信自己能辦到，所以從來沒有放棄過，也沒有放棄過自己...371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡautCWmCr7m
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgeO9c0ENV
這兩年裡，我不斷嘗試以前聽過的疑似答案，早就試過但沒甚麼治效、物理治療師的治療指示，還有白先生說的運動治療法，每天抽很多時間反覆做過無數次測試、鍛鍊，甚至中學確診之前被我否定了的方向也重新跑了一遍，有開倒車的感覺，但事實是︰所有都不像是答案，手部活動能力沒有突破性的改善...天啊...371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCFJioBLl5
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFukA3Z7lQj
可能，我對自己是個「不正常的人」這個自我定位耿耿於懷，不想被別人標籤，也不想接受這個事實，所以才花費無數時間想要治好這個病。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7FOUnKCnO
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4Qx66PnFu
念念不忘，結果白花了兩年。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27XwVv7M4y
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdlquH9kR3
值得為一個旁人看來只是小問題的病花掉青春黃金期的兩年嗎？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpiQ8DVmhP
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOvR0jwRzx
我想沒有經歷過這類病症的人，是不會明白我的痛苦。這個想法，從中學開始我已經抱持著。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASuJX3M8gl
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhHBmBF9Rl
即使是經歷過這種苦的白先生，也不太明白我的痛苦。他憑自己的其他優秀條件，成功找到其他類別的工作，他還「幸運地」解決了抄寫的問題，成就非凡。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHl1KRqQnwr
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRhbnfj3jY
一將功成，萬骨枯。有多少同病相連的畢業生被這個病折騰得死來活去，迷失在時間的洪流之中？難道失敗者會站出來分享失敗的經驗嗎？從來只有成功者有資格搞分享會，讓所有人看成功者美輪美奐的一面。於我而言，我覺得失敗者也值得搞自己的分享會，前車之轍，可以借鑒，但是世界價值觀否定了我的想法，我一直找不到經驗分享，不論是生活周遭，還是越洋到世界彼端的網絡世界。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡor4UH7tGRv
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAvkWw6sCP
「…」我好像有甚麼難言之隱似的，純粹低下頭。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAgfDuPx4i
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxCe8oKJMy
「有甚麼事想要做嗎？」老爸說。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bxLNiHlXD
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAg51i1ZLU
我微微點頭。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOkmmk3VcA
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjc8Cm5fZO6
「是不是那個...甚麼病？」老爸問。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3WSRADwuz
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gyqQqQ45x
原來老爸還記得我有這個問題。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fppTTd32D
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYRT4acUuz
我又微微點頭。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxjb5AOOq0
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JRovR6MuG
「你爸我，還有你媽，唸書真的不多，不知道你發生了甚麼事，但是人的時間是有限的，你看我和你媽，臉上皺紋跟頭髮一樣多，不要留下後悔啊。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQquca2y5E
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOYp1GTsYi
不要留下後悔…371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTNWsWVTfi
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iy90vxAge
其實我現在做的事就是為了不留下後悔，但好像在製造另一個後悔…我開始搞不清了。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSs6YRBnFW
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddgYX8IqsG
「聊別的吧。光快要結婚了，他有跟你聊過甚麼嗎？」老爸轉話題。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp9mOOGqXU
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGH3feBVwn
「沒有。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9leryvgZA5
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMkhtN03pa
這幾年我不斷向光哥搭話，他總是一句起，兩句止的回答，他怎會主動跟我說甚麼。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7ifEWorSD
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal3VpmB4Bq
「甚麼？竟然沒有？兩星期後就是光的婚禮了。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCnRlzdDDk
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLGQaFtZV8
「甚麼時候安排的？我完全不知道啊。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJMtrFXdoN
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOgV1rTYeb
我只知道光哥跟一個叫歐陽家琪的女孩交往了幾年，她不時在我們家吃飯，感情穩定，就只是這樣。我真不知道婚期。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DzXCs9GEt
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovXhyOpdNd
「光打算儀式簡單一點，把錢省下來。早上註冊簽文件，下午到雙方的家敬茶，晚上在茶樓擺幾圍，儀式就當完成了。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYVE3aSzYO
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsu0kxR9Ap
「沒有禮服之類的嗎？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uxuZOlIRA
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1ASZl7iLL
「沒有，光主張一切從簡，他打算穿運動裝而已。」老爸難掩萬分恩惠心情地說。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNg78XKVg4
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFLFepEd8Z
穿運動裝結婚…371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1L5whcnBo
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHzuxcAB9s
「即是說我們不用刻意打扮？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ztiMVnNt7
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkrkiJvLad
「我想是吧，我跟你媽打算穿得像逛街一樣而已，不然比主角更好看又有點奇怪。」老爸笑著說。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZ2tLS6plx
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zhmPqQzv7
「那天我有甚麼可以幫忙嗎？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2BMlptY8y
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZTIOg0xky
「嗯…暫時沒有。你那天早點起床，給一天光吧？補習可以調動一下時間嗎？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxy9R5FpJw
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡli5BRER9nZ
「好的。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBRnyZHDM4
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEymgjqane
「還有，光說你不用買甚麼給他了，不用花這個錢。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCMeLlf2Cr
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBa81Egv6u
「…」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1h1ZxAZos
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDQs3FFMqu
買結婚禮物的話，獨力選一份禮物，少說也要二千多塊，精美一點或者挑戒指可能要三千，可能光哥考慮到我的經濟狀況吧。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55hy9W8ZMf
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuU0jYqMl4
「杜家終於有媳婦了，光真的混得不錯。」老爸的臉洋溢著幸福，老懷安慰般。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4ukIuHize
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIDg8BWVkl
光哥中學成績太爛，沒有繼續唸書，早早踏入社會，卻因為找到自己前路去向，早早啟程出發、在社會混，混得理想；反觀自己…也是混社會，卻是「胡混」的「混」，事業還沒有起步。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qYYsndUSU
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3E746xqzz
「其實你爸我…雖然今天只有自己一個人吃飯，但是相當高興，因為你們都有自己的事業︰你媽要工作，你也要工作，光除了工作還要陪女朋友，能有這個家庭，我非常高興。現在我最擔心的是你啊，程。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZIWbRcsFJ
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJ9muld6sz
「…」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuyMmcN40X
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucW2417mzj
「可以的話，我真想你帶一個人上來吃飯，能倒茶給我喝就最好了。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrkFA1yBQT
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtaGrTmv97
我就知道這個話題今天一定躲不了…你要喝茶是嗎？我倒給你，你要多少杯？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzqWL3RSG6
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTO74NtYwW
「程啊。」老爸抓起我的手。「要學會為自己打算啊，人會老的。」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kcOjHJYKz
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcKJPIXg2R
…371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXf7NbWg1D
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKw0fCS4UPX
「嗯…嗯。」我只哼出一聲，表情苦澀，心裡被揪住似的。「呼…」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaknUpEO6L
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojvG7Sqdcz
速度…到今天還沒有結果…371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfn6THc7D8v
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPba0y7rjVZ
「肚子真的不餓嗎？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9joi5RzUIi
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSYhvHSGHG
「嗯。」我哼聲。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpdQaBvFHk
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZDsqetXXw
「好吧，聊了很久，那麼不阻你了。」老爸說畢，蹣跚地回到房間休息了。371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrZMUkEwmP
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdGAiSxb2r
為何一個病人，即使被評為「永久失去工作能力」，拼死擠出半點力量，成就出不可能；而身為健全人士的我，卻甚麼也做不到…371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEwZWG438O
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNF2VEtX91Z
「為甚麼？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEA1cxNjfRl
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoUMcUwaKn
為甚麼…371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneKxTkUM3m
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBCZyivgFI
我不想再停留在這個階段啊，那麼接下來的路，要怎樣走？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhXRu7rJ0p
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxUHRPZoDG
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8DIPi9UKG
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvMStBFeP0
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknHPHq7sK8
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qlxfuiHRg
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFun2HyPsz
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJFWjaQ6J7
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLPkTG7QkK
Penana
search
登入arrow_drop_down
註冊arrow_drop_down
