以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrOEZOHQ1n
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYskoJUPrI
感謝參與～174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4bxKz6XR4
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2EwlwWOc1
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZtlBffDab
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZg7nuA0YQx
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4TPaWvNZ2
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZoxVyV4xi
～～～～分隔線～～～～174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEz4vZ172M
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69cEoYzxC2
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RvNSTx6QI
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NcVuQ1M6c
〈限制和自由〉174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCyHKM1RS9
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTKyeL7Mbf
penana.com/article/1024895174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJPbwZ9exo
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8bq5EO0JF
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSCkDgnxhr
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmhNApN6UM
詩度 0。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgX114YLrFv
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5w2ZdpgcG
～～～～分隔線～～～～174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1qRpHed78
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡur2QEyzJ2V
〈問〉174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9K6PiTMigH
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRO9UFXhhIG
penana.com/article/1024944174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9r4f9rw8S
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjR4I9p7KzD
詩度高一點。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFCajkTgcK
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDtJH0Hh1b
～～～～分隔線～～～～174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoc7kUVr9G
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSHfoW11W4
〈摩天之輪〉174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspjtm8jDvY
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmy9nNA4Dn
penana.com/article/1045705174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqDjIx4GED
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZK7qmH1gY1
詩度再高一點。
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jd4XA3RMP
～～～～分隔線～～～～
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5qvPcNU99
〈蝴蝶酥〉174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLmmyXltHE
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wmjcKt6fO
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vNxC9VR3E
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7kz1W4XVj
詩度比前三首都高。
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRYKH8XpAf
～～～～分隔線～～～～
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7V15UkhEnM
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7izNB6Lq3I
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTfjI8v7sc
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEqIxbQaAM
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcE5bLIqeh
跟你分享。
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCknt9sYEE6
～～～～分隔線～～～～
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuD8t015o6
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeuXc5IFuJ
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡButYFE9Rc7
【認識新詩的基本元素】174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGEcKPUsw1
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoC5KqruN1K
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjXlmQ9f4a
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJplEXtH26
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQlgg2pyfV
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCZNNmvY3f
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHL0Q3gyL8
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0soDv060wa
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV09svRIQn2
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GV9vXv8In
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzL1JeJrt3
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2y4DPPeEi5
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82j6ehmlz7
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbuMd7Ztz6
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEXitjc9Ce
【這次全新寫的感想】
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28bSpaX0bS
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbKw15oPmM
〈詠栗〉
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzB6JAZLom
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzObVvScAmR
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJ4YWDHLze
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG23dTmbOkO
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYVqeLbCu1
如果寫成
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHptbK00JqX
〈詠栗〉
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukqonWktNL
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErVr7tyzmz
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xAGxy3jvz
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBtewVx23c
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYWFBqbHa7
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPN1ZpUInrE
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmJgECXt2R
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
ns216.73.216.194da2
