他的語調很淡,好像在講述一件再平常不過的事情,可是……全然不是這樣的。9Please respect copyright.PENANAv4R3RiUAeV
9Please respect copyright.PENANAySPhP4LFxx
「你,不應該放棄,而我,也不應該影響你……去捨棄正常一生。」最後他這樣說,然後就沉默了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAJtzkQqy6n1
9Please respect copyright.PENANAxCKbXRsV8b
「……」9Please respect copyright.PENANAiDUvGe8YCQ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAe5FynjjQCm
……9Please respect copyright.PENANA5Zdnlzv2aR
9Please respect copyright.PENANAU1PLMbKbXp
愣愣的看著學長,我覺得……有點困惑。9Please respect copyright.PENANAoDi7El9XwN
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4mbc5by8fv
其實他剛剛說的話,並不是像什麼驚雷一樣突然打醒一個人神智還是怎麼的,應該是說,那些我也想過了,不過是彼此角度與立場有點不同。9Please respect copyright.PENANAC5KY7ffk63
9Please respect copyright.PENANADpeB7yTZNr
突然發現──9Please respect copyright.PENANAS3Qi10IRTK
9Please respect copyright.PENANA7E71zRUMKU
做這些事我是為了……學長,只有極小的部分是為了自己,那時候放不下的感覺是第一次在我的思維裡出現。9Please respect copyright.PENANALDCBNNiJNw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAubc8NS7jhf
隨著成長,我漸漸開始更接近生老病死的周遭,幾次出任務,看見那些喪失親人、愛人的痛苦臉孔漸漸烙印在心底,那時候我就開始想,有一天……9Please respect copyright.PENANANJ1gXPe84V
9Please respect copyright.PENANAwuYtsCMtfT
有一天這樣事我也會面對,面對親人與有人的離開──我知道我會難過。9Please respect copyright.PENANAt9IaqofcVB
9Please respect copyright.PENANA6GASQR2lVc
而最初時候,也沒也想過什麼假如自己離開了的這種事,直到遇到那位留不住他人的女子後,才不得不意識到一直被努力忽略的,我是妖師,壽命跟人類一樣,但是學長是精靈與獸王族的混血──賽塔已經活了超過兩千年的時光,外表依然年輕,曾未衰老的一切是還能再活得很久、很久的滄桑。9Please respect copyright.PENANAu2CniWhEuz
9Please respect copyright.PENANAnAb9x5l02A
那學長會活多久?9Please respect copyright.PENANAJXPsVYYm6A
9Please respect copyright.PENANAwCf5i2tXGZ
那個曾經的劫難我們已經一起度過,預言師再也沒有為他預言任何災害,所以可以肯定,學長將會活得比想像中的還要久。9Please respect copyright.PENANAeBH1OGBGNb
9Please respect copyright.PENANAyrZNDwJtkG
我不知道精靈與獸王族血緣在交會之後誕生的生命到底能夠存在於這世上多久,從一些對話推斷至少也是幾千年吧?但我真的不知道。9Please respect copyright.PENANALWW8CHEz6m
9Please respect copyright.PENANAmrffG6okTX
而不想知道的是,我僅有百年左右的日子,到底……在學長的一生中能算得上什麼?9Please respect copyright.PENANAVFMfcxqWKd
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4xE6VXCSy2
如果他是一個不那麼專情的人、如果他可以遺忘,或許事情就不值得擔心,但是他不是。9Please respect copyright.PENANAQPuWQlvcra
9Please respect copyright.PENANAD8QeqYui9B
雖然到接受黑山君契約之前我還一直在想,也許我不需要這麼做,甚至害怕著有一天,當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANADxCkTdqKrF
9Please respect copyright.PENANA86HRZedIA4
到現在還是不知道學長會什麼會喜歡我,就跟我也不曉得怎麼喜歡上他的一樣,不過他,如此強大、卻總是為我著想……有太多理由我可能會被他吸引,那種心跳的感覺、血液流過的脈動總為他牽引……就是不知道他到底能看上我哪點,還居然在認識不到一年的時間中,就可以為我付出生命。9Please respect copyright.PENANAExAGx2QeWM
9Please respect copyright.PENANAvNNthB0MS7
所以我害怕又不知道是否該害怕──當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANACEJUoQTqhP
9Please respect copyright.PENANANSRPhiRXSL
因為我想不透我有什麼地方直得他付出永遠。9Please respect copyright.PENANAcuxsKEazyZ
9Please respect copyright.PENANA5sEAFNMj33
只是不願意有任何可能性看見他在漫長的年歲中寂寞,就算是我欠他的,這樣一點回報,我還付得起。9Please respect copyright.PENANAtVUPCYOk8m
9Please respect copyright.PENANANuCmY0GMyz
不過以這些來說,一切都是想多了,很多事情不需要理由,連此刻也是,看他的眼神,我知道我這次選擇沒有錯誤。9Please respect copyright.PENANARX7I7i7FrF
9Please respect copyright.PENANAzguTAMpqpQ
……9Please respect copyright.PENANAA6SQzdR37K
9Please respect copyright.PENANAuT0qFiTotb
唯一從沒有想過的是學長的想法。9Please respect copyright.PENANAUkdalPzLGQ
9Please respect copyright.PENANACAA1GLl8rv
如果我能改變自己的命運,如果我能找到方法留下來,學長怎麼可能不知道、辦不到。9Please respect copyright.PENANA9lAXc2ctlx
9Please respect copyright.PENANAcvTTBaE8iT
根本就是他不想。9Please respect copyright.PENANArudXXx7Q80
9Please respect copyright.PENANA7OEJwLTpKh
說不想好像也不太對,應該是說,他放棄了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAte6g3GuuUI
9Please respect copyright.PENANAmFXVGFid5D
我從沒想過學長也會擔心這些,在他說出來那不長的卻難得的一段話中,我可以捕捉到這些念頭,他早想過了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAvH8r5nPStV
9Please respect copyright.PENANAMXvEUAuUCH
但是比起我害怕看見親人離去,他寧願選擇放手。9Please respect copyright.PENANAzq2cBlAqLC
9Please respect copyright.PENANAHEGbMjuGw2
但是比起我擔心他將不在乎我,他只是想著怎樣對我才是最好。9Please respect copyright.PENANASmPA0sbB6b
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYb8yAazu9D
到頭來,他還是處處為我著想,我不會去說什麼我直不直得他付出這種話,可是……這樣真的好嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAFTg9lgb0f6
9Please respect copyright.PENANA3qVnNMFhK6
是不是應該也有什麼事是指有我才能為學長做的,而不是一味讓我接受他的幫助、他的掛心、他……隱晦的愛情?9Please respect copyright.PENANAjEaYtWOuiw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAVQPKuBgcaL
真的會有嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANADWmMfIqPDw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAUWe34XbewQ
「學長……」慢慢的,我小心翼翼的把手搭上學長肩膀,勾著那銀亮髮絲與中間垂下的一縷血色。9Please respect copyright.PENANAFqpxoRGuaG
9Please respect copyright.PENANAzCUhj4ZG8L
「嗯?」他的眼神,大概是不太明白我會想說什麼的樣子。9Please respect copyright.PENANAs8rj3dHF8Q
9Please respect copyright.PENANAx3P62fXdob
這時我知道,有的,一定有什麼是我能為他做的。9Please respect copyright.PENANAeQrIxXAFD3
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8FnwQl8yAY
不再需要質疑──他真的需要我,而我也需要他……9Please respect copyright.PENANA2RXWNwDsPA
9Please respect copyright.PENANAy2Hac3b20z
「那個啊……」忍不住又騰出一隻手刮了一下臉,「既然你這麼想,也這麼決定了,那……為什麼還去找那個盒精?聽說那東西,並不好拿。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAOtFIHZVkhO
9Please respect copyright.PENANA779tiVX6R9
事實上根本並不是不好拿,而是幾乎不可能拿得到,也不會是一念之間,想去拿就可以順利拿到的東西。9Please respect copyright.PENANAMYOkQ2I5mR
9Please respect copyright.PENANAwGD4OHHkch
白川主我原本裝黑石的抽屜裡,特別留下了關於缺憾盒精的一些事。9Please respect copyright.PENANAxP9jp0Qd3z
9Please respect copyright.PENANAcjRNpYvKFx
「……」聽到這問話,學長有一瞬間得錯愕也有一瞬間的明瞭。9Please respect copyright.PENANA2jjmWl5gfi
9Please respect copyright.PENANA6uk78K5sx1
「為什麼?」我毫不放棄的再問一次。9Please respect copyright.PENANA3Wfaaan0DI
9Please respect copyright.PENANAT1b8BoURA6
「因為……」難得猶豫,在某些時候是顯示一個人的絕對在乎,「我沒有辦法完全放棄。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAyzKXqNJfQo
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYephW3ysXD
在聽見這句話的時候,我的心跳聲一瞬間變得很鼓譟,像是要脫離胸膛這樣跳出去一般激烈異常,不過慢慢就平復下來了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAAXia1oC12H
9Please respect copyright.PENANAZ1isz9szQJ
然後深深吸了一口氣,我用力眨幾下眼睛之後,撐起身體、對準──9Please respect copyright.PENANA7YW7KRINa6
9Please respect copyright.PENANAPTAkZ9OLR6
在學長出乎意料的表情中用力親上去!9Please respect copyright.PENANArW3cOig7HK
9Please respect copyright.PENANAWiyVoCNQiT
只差沒有直接用撞的了,兩個想太多的人,確實需要狠狠敲一下,之前是我,現在是學長!9Please respect copyright.PENANAVt1RkVK5Ke
9Please respect copyright.PENANAMzyxMr70qk
「因為你需要我,而我也需要你,這就是我自願留下來、也讓你留下來的理由。」9Please respect copyright.PENANA1y2xPCEP76
9Please respect copyright.PENANANq2jIpAo8W
幾秒之後我就放開搭著學長的手了,非常認真看著他這樣說。9Please respect copyright.PENANA85elqcCHBW
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4tUFc5LjOc
9Please respect copyright.PENANA79JsC0Cnbw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAvTscWIY5bt
ns216.73.216.187da2 9Please respect copyright.PENANAySPhP4LFxx
「你,不應該放棄,而我,也不應該影響你……去捨棄正常一生。」最後他這樣說,然後就沉默了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAJtzkQqy6n1
9Please respect copyright.PENANAxCKbXRsV8b
「……」9Please respect copyright.PENANAiDUvGe8YCQ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAe5FynjjQCm
……9Please respect copyright.PENANA5Zdnlzv2aR
9Please respect copyright.PENANAU1PLMbKbXp
愣愣的看著學長,我覺得……有點困惑。9Please respect copyright.PENANAoDi7El9XwN
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4mbc5by8fv
其實他剛剛說的話,並不是像什麼驚雷一樣突然打醒一個人神智還是怎麼的,應該是說,那些我也想過了,不過是彼此角度與立場有點不同。9Please respect copyright.PENANAC5KY7ffk63
9Please respect copyright.PENANADpeB7yTZNr
突然發現──9Please respect copyright.PENANAS3Qi10IRTK
9Please respect copyright.PENANA7E71zRUMKU
做這些事我是為了……學長,只有極小的部分是為了自己,那時候放不下的感覺是第一次在我的思維裡出現。9Please respect copyright.PENANALDCBNNiJNw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAubc8NS7jhf
隨著成長,我漸漸開始更接近生老病死的周遭,幾次出任務,看見那些喪失親人、愛人的痛苦臉孔漸漸烙印在心底,那時候我就開始想,有一天……9Please respect copyright.PENANANJ1gXPe84V
9Please respect copyright.PENANAwuYtsCMtfT
有一天這樣事我也會面對,面對親人與有人的離開──我知道我會難過。9Please respect copyright.PENANAt9IaqofcVB
9Please respect copyright.PENANA6GASQR2lVc
而最初時候,也沒也想過什麼假如自己離開了的這種事,直到遇到那位留不住他人的女子後,才不得不意識到一直被努力忽略的,我是妖師,壽命跟人類一樣,但是學長是精靈與獸王族的混血──賽塔已經活了超過兩千年的時光,外表依然年輕,曾未衰老的一切是還能再活得很久、很久的滄桑。9Please respect copyright.PENANAu2CniWhEuz
9Please respect copyright.PENANAnAb9x5l02A
那學長會活多久?9Please respect copyright.PENANAJXPsVYYm6A
9Please respect copyright.PENANAwCf5i2tXGZ
那個曾經的劫難我們已經一起度過,預言師再也沒有為他預言任何災害,所以可以肯定,學長將會活得比想像中的還要久。9Please respect copyright.PENANAeBH1OGBGNb
9Please respect copyright.PENANAyrZNDwJtkG
我不知道精靈與獸王族血緣在交會之後誕生的生命到底能夠存在於這世上多久,從一些對話推斷至少也是幾千年吧?但我真的不知道。9Please respect copyright.PENANALWW8CHEz6m
9Please respect copyright.PENANAmrffG6okTX
而不想知道的是,我僅有百年左右的日子,到底……在學長的一生中能算得上什麼?9Please respect copyright.PENANAVFMfcxqWKd
9Please respect copyright.PENANA4xE6VXCSy2
如果他是一個不那麼專情的人、如果他可以遺忘,或許事情就不值得擔心,但是他不是。9Please respect copyright.PENANAQPuWQlvcra
9Please respect copyright.PENANAD8QeqYui9B
雖然到接受黑山君契約之前我還一直在想,也許我不需要這麼做,甚至害怕著有一天,當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANADxCkTdqKrF
9Please respect copyright.PENANA86HRZedIA4
到現在還是不知道學長會什麼會喜歡我,就跟我也不曉得怎麼喜歡上他的一樣,不過他,如此強大、卻總是為我著想……有太多理由我可能會被他吸引,那種心跳的感覺、血液流過的脈動總為他牽引……就是不知道他到底能看上我哪點,還居然在認識不到一年的時間中,就可以為我付出生命。9Please respect copyright.PENANAExAGx2QeWM
9Please respect copyright.PENANAvNNthB0MS7
所以我害怕又不知道是否該害怕──當我真的可以和他活得一樣久,就有一天,他不再在乎我。9Please respect copyright.PENANACEJUoQTqhP
9Please respect copyright.PENANANSRPhiRXSL
因為我想不透我有什麼地方直得他付出永遠。9Please respect copyright.PENANAcuxsKEazyZ
9Please respect copyright.PENANA5sEAFNMj33
只是不願意有任何可能性看見他在漫長的年歲中寂寞,就算是我欠他的,這樣一點回報,我還付得起。9Please respect copyright.PENANAtVUPCYOk8m
9Please respect copyright.PENANANuCmY0GMyz
不過以這些來說,一切都是想多了,很多事情不需要理由,連此刻也是,看他的眼神,我知道我這次選擇沒有錯誤。9Please respect copyright.PENANARX7I7i7FrF
9Please respect copyright.PENANAzguTAMpqpQ
……9Please respect copyright.PENANAA6SQzdR37K
9Please respect copyright.PENANAuT0qFiTotb
唯一從沒有想過的是學長的想法。9Please respect copyright.PENANAUkdalPzLGQ
9Please respect copyright.PENANACAA1GLl8rv
如果我能改變自己的命運,如果我能找到方法留下來,學長怎麼可能不知道、辦不到。9Please respect copyright.PENANA9lAXc2ctlx
9Please respect copyright.PENANAcvTTBaE8iT
根本就是他不想。9Please respect copyright.PENANArudXXx7Q80
9Please respect copyright.PENANA7OEJwLTpKh
說不想好像也不太對,應該是說,他放棄了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAte6g3GuuUI
9Please respect copyright.PENANAmFXVGFid5D
我從沒想過學長也會擔心這些,在他說出來那不長的卻難得的一段話中,我可以捕捉到這些念頭,他早想過了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAvH8r5nPStV
9Please respect copyright.PENANAMXvEUAuUCH
但是比起我害怕看見親人離去,他寧願選擇放手。9Please respect copyright.PENANAzq2cBlAqLC
9Please respect copyright.PENANAHEGbMjuGw2
但是比起我擔心他將不在乎我,他只是想著怎樣對我才是最好。9Please respect copyright.PENANASmPA0sbB6b
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYb8yAazu9D
到頭來,他還是處處為我著想,我不會去說什麼我直不直得他付出這種話,可是……這樣真的好嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANAFTg9lgb0f6
9Please respect copyright.PENANA3qVnNMFhK6
是不是應該也有什麼事是指有我才能為學長做的,而不是一味讓我接受他的幫助、他的掛心、他……隱晦的愛情?9Please respect copyright.PENANAjEaYtWOuiw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAVQPKuBgcaL
真的會有嗎?9Please respect copyright.PENANADWmMfIqPDw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAUWe34XbewQ
「學長……」慢慢的,我小心翼翼的把手搭上學長肩膀,勾著那銀亮髮絲與中間垂下的一縷血色。9Please respect copyright.PENANAFqpxoRGuaG
9Please respect copyright.PENANAzCUhj4ZG8L
「嗯?」他的眼神,大概是不太明白我會想說什麼的樣子。9Please respect copyright.PENANAs8rj3dHF8Q
9Please respect copyright.PENANAx3P62fXdob
這時我知道,有的,一定有什麼是我能為他做的。9Please respect copyright.PENANAeQrIxXAFD3
9Please respect copyright.PENANA8FnwQl8yAY
不再需要質疑──他真的需要我,而我也需要他……9Please respect copyright.PENANA2RXWNwDsPA
9Please respect copyright.PENANAy2Hac3b20z
「那個啊……」忍不住又騰出一隻手刮了一下臉,「既然你這麼想,也這麼決定了,那……為什麼還去找那個盒精?聽說那東西,並不好拿。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAOtFIHZVkhO
9Please respect copyright.PENANA779tiVX6R9
事實上根本並不是不好拿,而是幾乎不可能拿得到,也不會是一念之間,想去拿就可以順利拿到的東西。9Please respect copyright.PENANAMYOkQ2I5mR
9Please respect copyright.PENANAwGD4OHHkch
白川主我原本裝黑石的抽屜裡,特別留下了關於缺憾盒精的一些事。9Please respect copyright.PENANAxP9jp0Qd3z
9Please respect copyright.PENANAcjRNpYvKFx
「……」聽到這問話,學長有一瞬間得錯愕也有一瞬間的明瞭。9Please respect copyright.PENANA2jjmWl5gfi
9Please respect copyright.PENANA6uk78K5sx1
「為什麼?」我毫不放棄的再問一次。9Please respect copyright.PENANA3Wfaaan0DI
9Please respect copyright.PENANAT1b8BoURA6
「因為……」難得猶豫,在某些時候是顯示一個人的絕對在乎,「我沒有辦法完全放棄。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAyzKXqNJfQo
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYephW3ysXD
在聽見這句話的時候,我的心跳聲一瞬間變得很鼓譟,像是要脫離胸膛這樣跳出去一般激烈異常,不過慢慢就平復下來了。9Please respect copyright.PENANAAXia1oC12H
9Please respect copyright.PENANAZ1isz9szQJ
然後深深吸了一口氣,我用力眨幾下眼睛之後,撐起身體、對準──9Please respect copyright.PENANA7YW7KRINa6
9Please respect copyright.PENANAPTAkZ9OLR6
在學長出乎意料的表情中用力親上去!9Please respect copyright.PENANArW3cOig7HK
9Please respect copyright.PENANAWiyVoCNQiT
只差沒有直接用撞的了,兩個想太多的人,確實需要狠狠敲一下,之前是我,現在是學長!9Please respect copyright.PENANAVt1RkVK5Ke
9Please respect copyright.PENANAMzyxMr70qk
「因為你需要我,而我也需要你,這就是我自願留下來、也讓你留下來的理由。」9Please respect copyright.PENANA1y2xPCEP76
9Please respect copyright.PENANANq2jIpAo8W
幾秒之後我就放開搭著學長的手了,非常認真看著他這樣說。9Please respect copyright.PENANA85elqcCHBW
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9Please respect copyright.PENANA79JsC0Cnbw
9Please respect copyright.PENANAvTscWIY5bt