※隱青黑設定36Please respect copyright.PENANAsP72kg9JTK
※不打籃球只耍文藝的大家36Please respect copyright.PENANAA1kPznoGEY
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-36Please respect copyright.PENANAlXa9DaYaNg
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第四幕36Please respect copyright.PENANAgwkBurajN9
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「人類幾乎都很愚蠢。就我的推測至少有百分之九十四的人都是如此,但不要忘記,愚蠢並非壞事,也不低賤,更不卑微。死人比活人愚蠢,睡覺的人又比清醒的人愚蠢,停止運轉的引擎比運作的引擎愚蠢,這就是愚蠢的概念。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAwztYEqrdEd
-犀川創平36Please respect copyright.PENANAyNHpscUMeC
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=36Please respect copyright.PENANAdiNYVff9Au
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也許吧。36Please respect copyright.PENANACcKeqr8YoE
犯了錯誤什麼的也不是這麼不可饒恕的事情。其實根本不可能達到完美什麼的,是早該了解的事情。36Please respect copyright.PENANAvLfFU04Jo0
赤司征十郎有些茫然的看著虛空。36Please respect copyright.PENANA6dzHyQpvPt
在課堂時間一個人躺在宿舍寢室裡也是赤司征十郎從未有過的經驗。不管是時間管理還是身體管理總是盡可能達到完美的赤司,別說睡過頭蹺課了,就連因為感冒而請假的經驗都近乎為零。36Please respect copyright.PENANANw0AiZmzaQ
所以這種從皮膚之下擴散出的灼熱到了皮膚表層卻轉換成寒冷的感覺、覺得身體跟腦袋都像是灌了鉛的感覺、明明身處平地卻暈眩伴隨著耳鳴跟反胃的感覺,已經幾乎要從他的記憶中消失了。36Please respect copyright.PENANAPjkWMABFnQ
幾乎是從小學過後就沒有發燒過了啊...所以現在被感冒擊敗而躺在宿舍床上的赤司一口氣感受到了身體跟心靈上的雙重打擊。36Please respect copyright.PENANAc6pr6QfVIE
也許就是因為討厭這種無力感吧,討厭不聽使喚、無法反抗的感覺,討厭自己無法控制的事情,討厭示弱,討厭屈服。36Please respect copyright.PENANAjNc8xQaSOh
討厭無法達到完美的自己。36Please respect copyright.PENANAuJc7w4nbQn
用手背蓋住眼窩,冰冷的手感受到自身發出的高熱。36Please respect copyright.PENANAWo7CJZS0hh
就連這樣有著軟弱想法的自身都很陌生。36Please respect copyright.PENANAv9Ax4e461I
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明明早就知道了不是嗎。36Please respect copyright.PENANAk4t98GhWvi
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一開始就知道這個實驗的起點一方面是想試驗黑子的反應,一方面是使黑子無法離開他,而罔顧黑子本人的意願。簡單來說,相當自私的霸佔奇蹟之影的方式。36Please respect copyright.PENANAaSZ22jfzSQ
可是中途的變質使他動搖了。36Please respect copyright.PENANA8ZKx0vLVwT
產生興趣、付出關心、讓人進入自身生活圈,在從黑子的反應中得到樂趣的同時,相對的他付出了感情。36Please respect copyright.PENANAdgcmP68TWO
這大概就是敗筆。36Please respect copyright.PENANATbF3zWjm6o
一直以來都用「正確」完美武裝自己的赤司征十郎心想,這大概就是阿基里斯腱被射穿的感覺吧。36Please respect copyright.PENANAG3uLgZNxCj
是啊、這一切他明明全都料到了,如同梅菲斯特一樣以為自己簽下了必勝的契約,到頭來卻發現事情的發展雖然如他預料,實際上卻總是因為許多他不了解的原因而變質。36Please respect copyright.PENANA0NxtccFuey
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「赤司君,你太差勁了。」36Please respect copyright.PENANANCSSJ7cj3c
當時硬生生抽開手的黑子這麼說著,狠狠盯著他的目光中情緒非常強烈,跟他幾乎沒有高低起伏的語氣相去甚遠。36Please respect copyright.PENANAjhF7KfUXW0
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赤司沒有回話。36Please respect copyright.PENANAhyOUxYQyra
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可是黑子接下來什麼都沒有說,就只是用那樣的眼神注視著他。36Please respect copyright.PENANA6XNjPY7jEU
36Please respect copyright.PENANAJ2gF5ZZYh7
時光飛逝,赤司並不曉得他們在那樣的時間之中過了多久,也不曉得那個時候的靜止之中,黑子是在等待些什麼來打破沈默。36Please respect copyright.PENANAlyKhOaE1Xt
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最後是雨聲驟然落下,秋季的京都意料外地下起了雨。36Please respect copyright.PENANAbWaw3d4OQt
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他覺得他們就像那些被打落的紅葉。36Please respect copyright.PENANA9YTyOTZAdA
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眼神就像是在說「我受夠你了」的黑子默然轉身,最後還是留給了赤司一片背影之後淡出身形,而赤司噤然。36Please respect copyright.PENANALRTxf4hR6P
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這一點都沒有赤司征十郎的風格。除了意料之中的轉身,其他的、例如突如其來的雨聲,從身體內部感受到的寒意、耳鳴、視線中的空白、想發出聲音但是卻如石頭般僵硬的咽喉,全都是他始料未及的。36Please respect copyright.PENANAT0CZKYtNP6
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預料到會被討厭,以及親自經歷被重視的對象投以負面情緒,這兩者可是完全不同的等級。36Please respect copyright.PENANAGWpOjzfy5e
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所以這些寒意、從胃部與胸口感受到的緊縮與燒灼、沈重到抬不起的肩膀,也許都是些合情合理的反應,可是他不能理解那種迫使他咬緊牙根的衝動是什麼。36Please respect copyright.PENANAqMRkCjfgDs
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對於給自己安排這個結局的自己感到深惡痛絕,即使那原本就是自己的選擇。36Please respect copyright.PENANAZor4eVWCAM
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一切都是自己的選擇,可是卻感到了窒息,赤司征十郎一時以為自己會在這個窒息感中溺斃。36Please respect copyright.PENANA8zFqXIIjWR
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掙扎著吸取空氣、視野褪色模糊,他以為他產生了聽到黑子聲音的幻聽。36Please respect copyright.PENANAh99j4HMXxC
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用有點遲疑的聲音喚著「赤司君?」,如同以前的每一次一樣。36Please respect copyright.PENANAsN6Kq9UmQ5
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不過想必是幻覺吧,真是不爭氣。36Please respect copyright.PENANA0MHS12wJI7
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一邊自嘲著,一邊陷入黑暗,而這就是赤司征十郎在意識斷線之前最後的記憶。36Please respect copyright.PENANAI2hurl730q
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隔天的晨練他沒有參加,這件事情震驚了整個洛山籃球部。雖然聽起來有些誇張,不過事情的確是這個樣子的。36Please respect copyright.PENANAFz7iTDENy0
赤司征十郎因為身體不適而請假,這種事情發生的機率對認識赤司本人的人而言,就跟落下的隕石正好打中了國家元首一樣的不可思議。36Please respect copyright.PENANAfRO8z7KlsG
當時的情況有多混亂就暫且不提,不過以來宿舍探病的實浏跟葉山轉述的情況拼湊出的情報表示,第一時間去跟監督報告的人應該是黑子。36Please respect copyright.PENANAOJzKX9QQVY
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當時離開了體育館的黑子,卻又帶著傘返回。緣由姑且不提,當時的黑子映入眼簾的,卻是看似陷入昏迷的赤司。36Please respect copyright.PENANAiQZDpWZTMh
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「小哲好像嚇壞了啊...不過幸虧他反應很快,在體育館外面遇到了來拿東西的根武谷,然後就兩個人一起把你抬到了保健室。」這句話體貼地隱瞞了赤司其實是被根武谷公主抱到保健室的事實。36Please respect copyright.PENANA8QIk7MBI2p
「如果是我的話可能會覺得要叫救護車吧。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAm287zVcGce
「聽說小哲本來也想叫救護車的,但是被根武谷那傢伙阻止了。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAF4fXc8MRZp
「為什麼?」36Please respect copyright.PENANAT5eToEJo1J
「因為那傢伙說,如果叫了救護車就勢必要通知家屬,一旦赤司家知道小征因為部活太過勞累倒下的話,不管是小征本人還是洛山籃球部,立場都會有些為難吧。所以在跟保健室老師確認過不會有大礙的情況下,就先這樣子了。」36Please respect copyright.PENANA0M6ZCj8WFx
「真是讓人意想不到啊...明明看起來就是個只有肌肉的大塊頭,卻可以在那麼短的時間之內做出這樣的判斷。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAe08uPri805
「雖然我也很意外...不過幸好當時小哲遇到的是那傢伙而不是你啊。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAg0GKv98ATV
「鈴央姊這是在損我嗎?!」36Please respect copyright.PENANAA7SPJRYRbZ
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總之之後小哲去跟白金監督報告了這件事,並且表示可以留下來照顧小征...不過這些我們都是隔天晨練之後聽根武谷講的。實浏鈴央跟葉山小太郎來探病時,坐在赤司的床旁如此表示。36Please respect copyright.PENANA5makgqjRvg
一整段的對話之中,明明是話題當事人的赤司一言不發,只是看似專注的聽著他們的對話。不過幸好他們兩人都是不在意赤司沒有參與對話的人,兩人自顧自的接續著對話,對赤司的沉默完全不以為意。36Please respect copyright.PENANAufY5aTPYLx
不過小征你也真是的,為什麼要把自已繃得這麼緊呢?小哲說你從當時就一直昏迷到今天上午,中途完全沒有醒來...他很擔心呢。話題終於轉到自己身上,但對於來自隊友真切的關心,赤司有些無法回應。36Please respect copyright.PENANAoMJlH0Dqds
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為什麼呢?這一點大概就連赤司本人都無法回答。36Please respect copyright.PENANA5oYjdsGzhU
他並不覺得自己有把自己繃得太緊,也不覺得當時的運動量或是體力超出負荷...明明一切都還在他的掌控之內,事情卻失控了。36Please respect copyright.PENANAdbdORXs7CZ
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為什麼?36Please respect copyright.PENANAMCrEunudPn
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現在換赤司在對自己問這個問題,而且他不知道答案。36Please respect copyright.PENANAjahoPY6vlE
這樣若有所思的失神,換來的是小太郎在他眼前揮動的手掌。36Please respect copyright.PENANAv8jcbnInvm
「赤司司...」36Please respect copyright.PENANAey2zZtZdgN
「別用那種奇怪的稱呼叫小征啦!」36Please respect copyright.PENANAnAFpwWi4gm
「明明鈴央姊的叫法才是最奇怪的..........吶、赤司司、現在哪裡會痛嗎?」36Please respect copyright.PENANAuzCGRlSEqd
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這個問句一出,赤司跟實浏都微微楞了一愣。36Please respect copyright.PENANAEEAF76nWPm
36Please respect copyright.PENANA0ySILaAy2P
「為什麼突然這麼問呢?小太郎。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1zRXkhqzg
「大概是因為、」葉山小太郎一臉疑惑的歪了歪頭。「赤司司的表情就是好像哪裡在痛的感覺嘛!」36Please respect copyright.PENANAQxFjScCjFx
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難道你們都沒有感覺嗎?回看著其他兩人的葉山這麼說著。36Please respect copyright.PENANAQsc9revLcC
36Please respect copyright.PENANAKqyQWJYss5
「說到這個,我其實想問很久了。」實渕鈴央看著臉色有著微妙變化的赤司,開口詢問。「小征、你跟小哲吵架了嗎?」36Please respect copyright.PENANAq1uAczzAg8
赤司圓睜的雙眼閃過了一絲的空白。36Please respect copyright.PENANAUYbGBPpV6Y
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「我們沒有吵架。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAPWTd0JJ8YV
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看著一臉茫然的葉山小太郎跟一臉懷疑的實渕鈴央,赤司扯了扯嘴角補充了一句。「只有單方面的話根本算不上吵架。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAa3nLN8R4Qo
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那麼、是怎麼一回事呢?實浏有點溫柔的聲音問著。36Please respect copyright.PENANAzY3CxCwI8y
我惹他生氣了。36Please respect copyright.PENANA2sJM1GIiQ7
是小征的錯嗎?36Please respect copyright.PENANAC6zy1HnHHq
我想、是的。36Please respect copyright.PENANAcCi3Olzh7V
跟小哲道過歉了嗎?36Please respect copyright.PENANAnWwjCVhS7v
道了歉可能也沒有用,我想他不會原諒我。36Please respect copyright.PENANAXkilTZziKF
這樣是不行的喔,小征。36Please respect copyright.PENANA6aao5J8lZd
什麼意思?36Please respect copyright.PENANAyVrtAa8doS
犯了錯卻不去道歉。36Please respect copyright.PENANA8cYspCu4eg
即使知道不會有用也是嗎?36Please respect copyright.PENANAubFEEUJpmK
小征又是為什麼如此確信呢。36Please respect copyright.PENANAW3pskTTolB
這樣是不行的。36Please respect copyright.PENANATOU2iV7TAN
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實浏的聲音留在耳蝸迴旋不去。36Please respect copyright.PENANAPDHRvQJfeB
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這樣是不行的。36Please respect copyright.PENANAxmXwnLFSWP
因為可能不會被原諒,所以就連道歉都沒有,這樣是不行的。36Please respect copyright.PENANArjtWaTyKUw
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獨自一人躺在床上,但是耳邊卻依舊是剛才實浏跟葉山的喋喋絮語。36Please respect copyright.PENANA6mgqpklouN
剛剛離去的人的體溫就像還留在空氣中一樣,語言、氣味還有眼神並沒有因為他們的離去而消失。36Please respect copyright.PENANASs1hhdaXQP
就跟他一樣。36Please respect copyright.PENANAhC4lGQVEeA
就跟黑子哲也一樣。36Please respect copyright.PENANAlZTZjZqHz4
36Please respect copyright.PENANAvgD290D4q7
現在的赤司君是不會了解的。36Please respect copyright.PENANA8PB3CjdbWO
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耳邊就像傳來了伴隨著吐息的平靜聲音。36Please respect copyright.PENANANcNqqeSSjm
現在的赤司君不會理解為什麼人們總是會選擇去做些蠢事。36Please respect copyright.PENANA21F3b4fSGO
其實、在你的眼中,堅信著一切都是正確的我才是最可笑的吧,哲也。36Please respect copyright.PENANA1UZNNG3sh7
36Please respect copyright.PENANAAiuQvNnUEO
他理解他們都是些怎麼樣的存在。知道過於炙熱的才能在過於稚嫩的心靈上綻開的燙傷會是什麼樣子、知道對他們而言碰撞在一起的拳頭有什麼意義、知道沒碰上的拳頭力道比碰上的拳頭更沈重。36Please respect copyright.PENANANTeqHVFjwZ
他理解他們都有可能觸及到些什麼、將會走向些什麼。36Please respect copyright.PENANAAG1e0CQn1C
他理解他們將會成為些什麼。36Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9oE9byAHI
他理解他們必然會分道揚鑣。36Please respect copyright.PENANA6o2bPbZvIq
他理解他們即使看向不同的方向,也無法抹煞掉曾在彼此生命中留下的痕跡。36Please respect copyright.PENANAtp4gO6KEhl
他理解他們必然分離,也理解他們必然無法斬斷。36Please respect copyright.PENANA8S0XAckWUH
理解他的痛苦,理解他的不甘。36Please respect copyright.PENANAcu6fhoIbrs
理解他的孤傲,理解他的不屈。36Please respect copyright.PENANAUIzlGoKhix
他從一開始就知道,黑子一旦被他迷惑便無法回頭。36Please respect copyright.PENANArL1faKQ6K6
他知道即使黑子咬住了他拋出的餌,在吞下之後、他也只會是那個在咽喉之中被餌鉤刮出的傷口。36Please respect copyright.PENANAW69MBvL3h9
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即使知道。36Please respect copyright.PENANA7FzRqj9sh2
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他卻到了現在才知道他當初所不知道的東西是什麼。36Please respect copyright.PENANAQKs8yeG2qC
看著天花板的紋路、他想。36Please respect copyright.PENANAjzyMUP9Brr
在世界中、溺斃在這種迷惘與懊悔當中的人應該不計其數。36Please respect copyright.PENANAaDXYSWZR70
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他閉上雙眼。36Please respect copyright.PENANAowq2kykRXm
36Please respect copyright.PENANA1JBQc2w363
-36Please respect copyright.PENANAMywfpei7v6
時間的流動真的是一種很神祕的東西。雖然擁有客觀的計量單位,但是只要身而為人,就無法擺脫以人類感官為基準造成的那種時間急速流逝、抑或是凝滯不動的錯覺。36Please respect copyright.PENANAu4yZlvomF4
就像是從半空中墜落的疾速,又或是被玻璃帷幕給阻隔而無法伸出手的滯礙感,躺在床榻上的赤司征十郎如此想著。36Please respect copyright.PENANABD9NnahE3V
入睡之前明明覺得時間流逝的太慢,在醒來之後卻又被時間流逝的幅度嚇到,覺得自己簡直是做了一次時空跳躍。時空跳躍、赤司想著這個詞笑了,對於會產生這樣的想法的自己笑了。如果是哲也的話、會說些什麼呢?無法克制地產生了這個念頭,卻又瞬間轉為黯淡。在實浏與葉山的探望結束之後,他的意識浮沈之間又經歷了幾個小睡,可是那個據說照顧了他一晚的角色在這個下午卻完全沒有出現。36Please respect copyright.PENANA1PNfBiFDwD
是因為聽說他醒了所以就不再出現了嗎?赤司閉上眼、不負責任地猜著,反正他可能再也沒有機會了,在這個晚上、36Please respect copyright.PENANAm5ixqS4UR0
36Please respect copyright.PENANA9qS3mf7coK
「打擾了、赤司君。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAvjfAzf5N5V
36Please respect copyright.PENANAs0mNZ82N0w
這個聲音打斷了他的臆想,他原本快要進入黑暗的意識瞬間亮起。36Please respect copyright.PENANAwXO6adPbpc
他睜開眼睛往旁一看,看見的是黑子哲也,手中拿著講義,走進他房間的自在氣息跟往常如出一轍。36Please respect copyright.PENANA1c22vZ4jIk
36Please respect copyright.PENANAysQZ0eHTML
「身體有好點了嗎?赤司君讓包括我在內的許多人都嚇了好大一跳,以後請不要再這樣了,許多人會擔心的。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAkMkEJJ2Oc2
36Please respect copyright.PENANASxMU2lvoVx
熟門熟路的黑子哲也像是完全不需要確認一樣,不曾回頭看向赤司,卻毫不懷疑赤司有沒有聽見他的聲音。36Please respect copyright.PENANAqkuEQM96zQ
36Please respect copyright.PENANAObtaaZRSSk
「這是今天的講義,老師說你的作業可以下次上課再補交。籃球部的工作目前由副部長跟經理接手,學生會的會議則是順延了。保健室的老師希望你醒來之後能夠知會他一聲,然後這些東西是班上同學跟經理要給你的。」36Please respect copyright.PENANA9sANpBcMa8
36Please respect copyright.PENANAykn2ufQGT4
像是沒事人一樣的當事者黑子哲也自顧自的說了這麼長一串話,語氣一如往常的棒讀但也不見絲毫僵硬,反倒是赤司難得地楞在當場。36Please respect copyright.PENANAtrg4Ald5Xg
黑子終於停下了腳步、回頭對上赤司的視線。「赤司君、你還好嗎?」對著黑子平靜的眼神,赤司楞了半响,才回答了一個遲疑的「嗯」。36Please respect copyright.PENANA8nQwkrCNcX
此時黑子波瀾不驚的眼神才出現了些許笑意。「赤司君,」黑子眨了眨眼。「你說謊。」36Please respect copyright.PENANApNMmxpImIk
「赤司君你現在一點都不好。」黑子這麼說著,然後逕自坐到了他的床邊。赤司沒有說話。36Please respect copyright.PENANAaAca1L0yNA
就只是這樣子彼此注視。36Please respect copyright.PENANA9wejHrn0va
36Please respect copyright.PENANAJaWtSKbeOe
「吶、赤司君,我今天下午沒有出現是因為我去見了一個人。」黑子最後還是眨了眨眼,主動打破了沉默。36Please respect copyright.PENANAOGPwO1UNAx
「......」赤司則否。36Please respect copyright.PENANAzqQBElNS3D
「正確來說、應該是被叫出去。」黑子轉開視線,不在意赤司的沉默而繼續說道。「然後那個人跟我道歉了......為了一件他實際上沒有必要道歉的事。」36Please respect copyright.PENANA6hCaHPOwJU
「.........你跟大輝碰面了。」並不是疑問句。36Please respect copyright.PENANAfzUJLRAba6
聽到了赤司終於打破沉默,黑子緩緩轉頭對上赤司的視線。即使一言不發,從進門開始便落在自己身上的強烈視線並不是黑子會忽略掉的東西。36Please respect copyright.PENANA7KV4QsddvA
36Please respect copyright.PENANAfkxJHWcDx6
這樣的視線又意味著什麼、黑子覺得他似乎有個底,卻又總是不停的猜測。36Please respect copyright.PENANAYdDz7rg1RV
他覺得他們之間的相處有點像是一種角力,總是在彼此揣摩、試探虛實,這到底又是為了什麼?兩方各自的心中都有一個屬於對方的角色,而他們意識到之後甚至耗費心思的在扮演著對方心中的那個形象...這樣子的理解簡直是到了有些可笑的地步。36Please respect copyright.PENANAPprqt1Rcix
所以在他打破平衡之後、才意識到他們總是在鏡中尋找著彼此,而他非得打破鏡子、打破與對方的聯繫所建構起的形象之後,才有可能看見真實的彼此;在他知道他可能會親手把這段牽絆撕裂之下,他本來視若珍寶的關係已經被他自己親手丟棄。36Please respect copyright.PENANA57QdC47rB7
不是不願意珍惜,而是做好了必須放手的準備。所以他開口。36Please respect copyright.PENANAwu00aOHJjd
平靜的程度遠超出自己的想像。36Please respect copyright.PENANA8r75PVZUSK
36Please respect copyright.PENANA5sZ2iKJYCH
「赤司君,我花了很久才能理解那些你當初一眼就能理解的東西。」黑子的聲音就像一道安靜的流水,從乾涸的裂隙之間緩緩流出。就像他一樣、不冷不熱、無色無味,可是卻解除了燥熱所帶來的乾渴。36Please respect copyright.PENANAOtrf3VGvmg
青峰君當時說他並沒有要為了拆夥而道歉的意思,畢竟光其實並沒有虧欠影子些什麼。當下其實沒有人有錯,而我也知道。36Please respect copyright.PENANAzQuXw5Q54A
他道歉只為了一件事。黑子筆直地看著他,然後目光變成一種帶著無奈的溫柔。他說那個情況讓我們都很難過,而他不希望我難過,所以他很抱歉。36Please respect copyright.PENANAPhsty7v4ki
「赤司君,我沒有要埋怨你的意思。我只是想告訴你。」36Please respect copyright.PENANA4BT349RPQE
我的確是很生氣、非常生氣。大概沒有人會喜歡自己被耍著玩、或是發現自己被當成小丑一樣觀察、被用來滿足好奇心、或是被當成實驗品。36Please respect copyright.PENANAM4GZCFgs0F
36Please respect copyright.PENANAZmtcwDIPQY
何況......我不想承認,但是這段時間以來、我變得、太過依賴赤司君。36Please respect copyright.PENANAbFHs6H5kck
36Please respect copyright.PENANAmh4CFiywnT
我想赤司君也知道...畢竟這一切都是你安排策劃許久的。36Please respect copyright.PENANAl36GK4p3Cc
36Please respect copyright.PENANAaj4KBUDCN3
話雖如此、雖然我的確是非常生氣、像是整個小世界天翻地覆了一樣、不過,我還是要說。36Please respect copyright.PENANA4vnCZjMZfM
你們都把我想的太脆弱了。36Please respect copyright.PENANARYitX9Cihb
36Please respect copyright.PENANA1IeEgMkD2e
赤司啞然。36Please respect copyright.PENANArdhVqTowrs
36Please respect copyright.PENANA2pJ4T3DDBi
為了找回光而孤注一擲的影子。36Please respect copyright.PENANAhsAHs3otpq
36Please respect copyright.PENANAPby9LUbTkc
赤司君,我並不是第一次無路可退。在成為影子之前我也曾經想要成為光,但是失敗了。是赤司君你對我指出了另一條路,而我也找到了成為影子的方法。36Please respect copyright.PENANA6r1MjIRBPr
36Please respect copyright.PENANAXpexxiYKtr
而當我失去影子這個身分的時候,我並不是沒有質疑過我站在場上的理由。36Please respect copyright.PENANAVtAGgiPtOl
36Please respect copyright.PENANATPuOAL5Mwh
我並不是沒有體會過絕望,也不是不知道什麼叫做痛苦。36Please respect copyright.PENANA0N2A9QY3wA
36Please respect copyright.PENANAGw5vHAXrlX
「我知道。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAU1BM0aE79H
36Please respect copyright.PENANA5EDZ3W0pKK
我的確、是想要找回影子的地位、我想要「黑子的籃球」被認同。我想要證明「黑子的籃球」是正確的,就如同青峰君希望找回對於籃球的熱情。36Please respect copyright.PENANAqkeyJuZ37a
我希望重新獲得青峰君的認同,不只是為了青峰君,、為了黑子的籃球得以生存的影子的地位,這些我都想要。36Please respect copyright.PENANAPTm5pMiyXL
36Please respect copyright.PENANAUNT2MNqtiV
可是赤司君,我也不是一個會對路上的風景毫無所察的人。36Please respect copyright.PENANAqN00aTiiRn
36Please respect copyright.PENANA0nkM3AITIy
「嗯。」36Please respect copyright.PENANADNsvpfK2Jk
36Please respect copyright.PENANAkLl7zzj62p
我跟你來到洛山之後並不是第一次思考過,我為什麼會跟你來。36Please respect copyright.PENANAFGUAyDyI8X
36Please respect copyright.PENANA6cjgkPvvfR
「......是啊、為什麼呢?」36Please respect copyright.PENANAJwEYLNMtB7
36Please respect copyright.PENANAg9kavgb4Xd
是啊、為什麼呢?我想要尋找些什麼不一樣的東西,赤司君說過的「團隊的勝利」,我想也許跟著赤司君就有可能見到理想中的最終型態,但是來到洛山之後卻發現這裡跟帝光幾乎如出一轍。36Please respect copyright.PENANALI8uJ8L8kf
團隊的勝利、理想論、才能決定論、我覺得這些其實都不是我要的答案,我兜了這麼大一個圈子,卻發現自己尋找的東西根本就不在我的旅途之中。36Please respect copyright.PENANAyigddmjRjB
36Please respect copyright.PENANAjRCNtJNaQE
「那你發現了嗎?你真正想尋找的東西。」36Please respect copyright.PENANACk07eIvYSK
36Please respect copyright.PENANAI6VNEQI7sY
黑子的眼神純粹而專注,無聲卻充滿力量。36Please respect copyright.PENANA3KkNeD8Hs6
36Please respect copyright.PENANATA4ef5n6ZW
那赤司君、你覺得呢?36Please respect copyright.PENANA8YXLgLdOuk
你覺得我找到了嗎?36Please respect copyright.PENANAHAfnorluuW
36Please respect copyright.PENANAr3z3jasKrs
赤司回望他。36Please respect copyright.PENANAo8ZQEpMOWK
36Please respect copyright.PENANAUy40Aw1Yav
哲也,我不知道。36Please respect copyright.PENANALn7LHgUwb7
嗯。36Please respect copyright.PENANA6aYt4vRgh6
我不知道你是否找到了。36Please respect copyright.PENANA6diIFN35A6
嗯。36Please respect copyright.PENANAumltsksnzi
而且、36Please respect copyright.PENANAwFCBNo4B0b
嗯?36Please respect copyright.PENANARVBHap1nTG
我覺得已經無所謂了。36Please respect copyright.PENANApov1hqvPVx
36Please respect copyright.PENANAWX2enIZvMc
「是的,赤司君。」音調改變了。這段時間以來,赤司覺得他終於在黑子的眼中看見了真正的笑意。「這就是答案。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAaicNS8t9Bm
36Please respect copyright.PENANAM8mX3ccboq
從一個尋找答案的旅途轉變成一個不需要答案的旅途,這之間的距離有多遠?36Please respect copyright.PENANARyGCaSYRGn
36Please respect copyright.PENANANjaBJjB6Ek
我問了自己好多次、我想要的究竟是什麼。36Please respect copyright.PENANAo6eLcYD7cN
我想著我所有遇見的同伴、我所渴望的一切、然後一個一個抽離。36Please respect copyright.PENANAYPAirFhRjc
每次都覺得好像要見到終點了但依舊一無所獲。36Please respect copyright.PENANA8FdTtYCKZC
36Please respect copyright.PENANAcvMg6XE3Lb
一直到青峰君對我說抱歉。36Please respect copyright.PENANA70RaLP3XwW
36Please respect copyright.PENANATedWqeFHQT
我想我只是需要一個認同,讓我知道我還是有辦法快樂的。36Please respect copyright.PENANABGYR45NQ0h
36Please respect copyright.PENANAEevADTNsoX
黑子看向赤司。36Please respect copyright.PENANAh70cAVujdy
「赤司君沒有什麼要對我說的嗎?」36Please respect copyright.PENANAYEItbM8IKW
36Please respect copyright.PENANAgSCtVW7nPt
覺得有些難以呼吸的赤司顯得有些戰戰兢兢。36Please respect copyright.PENANAJL6uHQIGIt
36Please respect copyright.PENANA2qpBU3x8lC
「............你覺得我應該要說些什麼呢。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAXQqFZb8xH8
「赤司君該不會在想什麼『反正道了歉也不見得會被原諒所以不如保持沉默以免事態惡化』之類的藉口吧。」36Please respect copyright.PENANApJAOT3aEVE
「..........................」沉默。36Please respect copyright.PENANAbrjG4HNn2d
「赤司君?」36Please respect copyright.PENANAptpB2aliJp
「對不起。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAab6E9dsJaS
「赤司君請好好的向我道歉。」36Please respect copyright.PENANACgt4CCkRd2
「哲也,對不起。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAMUtMWXmDOv
「說你從來沒考慮過我的心情這一點向我道歉。」36Please respect copyright.PENANA96btELZ54C
「沒有考慮到你的心情,對不起。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAibSNysk9Ri
「還有完全不管我的想法,自顧自的決定了結局,完全不打算聽我意見這一點也請向我道歉。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAZZOXT2XH81
「沒有考慮你的意見,對不起.........呃?」36Please respect copyright.PENANAcnw2jJ1HFT
「赤司君,有什麼問題嗎?」36Please respect copyright.PENANAbppY22Ag65
「有問題。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAVEyzmbojnW
36Please respect copyright.PENANAIvhMl3ENMk
我從來有沒有想像過,有這個選項之外的答案。36Please respect copyright.PENANASZVXToG1K2
36Please respect copyright.PENANAlTmIEHFEiJ
赤司這麼說之後,黑子哲也輕笑出聲。36Please respect copyright.PENANAwymEtW0acq
36Please respect copyright.PENANA9PmS0nVwRg
赤司君雖然口中說著「很期待我的想法」,卻從來沒想過我也是個擁有自由意志的人類嗎。36Please respect copyright.PENANAA0gFbx8ez1
36Please respect copyright.PENANAvo4nojbQWF
不是的。赤司馬上這麼回答。36Please respect copyright.PENANAGExcagc7Wt
36Please respect copyright.PENANAt9t0fgl7WM
短暫的沉默。36Please respect copyright.PENANATYAafeFFQc
36Please respect copyright.PENANAcrImLAqeCx
「...也許的確是這樣吧。」最後赤司開口。我期待著你的回答,卻又總是設想你的回答沒有超出我的預期。36Please respect copyright.PENANAuaLfNeCP7i
36Please respect copyright.PENANALZ2FnMAffY
因為結果上你總是能超出我的預期呢、哲也。為此我總是相當期待。36Please respect copyright.PENANAZjHsfCNZ88
36Please respect copyright.PENANAhPYsvnSwOA
赤司君,你知道嗎?沒有體會過絕望的人、其實是你。36Please respect copyright.PENANAjqXPkz3YLy
36Please respect copyright.PENANA5pEnUwehZX
知道什麼是無助、卻不了解什麼是絕望。36Please respect copyright.PENANAUvHgFqPEvw
知道什麼是絕望、才能體會人類的渺小。36Please respect copyright.PENANAU0f3u4RtP2
我們都是人類、我們都不是無所不能。36Please respect copyright.PENANAzWZYCiKqGa
是的,赤司回答。所以就算是我也無法預料到所有的事情。36Please respect copyright.PENANAR74Kt45llX
36Please respect copyright.PENANAQZ9c2aqOjQ
沒錯,黑子點頭。所以你不了解為什麼你會變得如此脆弱、也不了解為什麼我會出現在這。36Please respect copyright.PENANAZMCls3tRmE
36Please respect copyright.PENANAtPx8WCmmYS
眼前的赤司注視他良久,眼中的深沈暗濤像一潭湖帶著粼粼的波光。36Please respect copyright.PENANA0r5TncWWid
36Please respect copyright.PENANAf7nmsI9DzG
最後他緩緩的點了下頭。36Please respect copyright.PENANAlu2g3gNouo
36Please respect copyright.PENANAMilXNPh8CG
這個微小的動作換來了黑子一個輕若蝶翅的嘆息。36Please respect copyright.PENANAth7ai4a7Yy
36Please respect copyright.PENANAIInbQT1ucZ
赤司同意了他的話,承認了自己的無知,首次在他眼前展現的脆弱,那個一直以來都是不可親、夢幻如天上人的赤司第一次卸下外殼,出現在他伸手可即的地方。36Please respect copyright.PENANA9rOjnFCFl6
36Please respect copyright.PENANABeitPvgqIG
於是他順從了。他朝著赤司伸出手,把那個散發著微熱的軀體圈進懷中。他伸手撫過赤司背脊的時候感覺到赤司僵了一下,隨後順從地讓他們的胸膛交貼,36Please respect copyright.PENANAU60rWh7jP6
36Please respect copyright.PENANAm1Xv6ChoRn
臉頰感覺著耳廓,下巴抵上了肩膀,黑子在赤司的頸窩中滿足地嘆了一口氣。36Please respect copyright.PENANADOn6sb4sZt
36Please respect copyright.PENANARQnQnZHT6N
「赤司君,你現在能夠理解了嗎?」他在他耳邊說著。36Please respect copyright.PENANAJRmuiGh23Z
「嗯。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAcx9oEpj6hB
「並不是所有的感情都能夠被這樣子解構。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAOFizD0xcBO
「嗯。」36Please respect copyright.PENANADfobHuf07T
「例如說、」黑子握緊了手。「我喜歡赤司君這件事。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAZ6sAW3fxqR
「...............嗯。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAH50Emgsqn7
黑子感覺到赤司的臉埋進了他的肩窩之中,他可以感覺到對方呼出來的氣息以及臉頰的熱度。36Please respect copyright.PENANAMpYljVCTs0
「赤司君能夠解構它嗎。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAFDL9uYz84B
「其實要解構還是有辦法的。」低著頭,赤司有些悶悶的聲音傳出。「不過,我不想。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAQb11BSZt2c
「嗯。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAQJEmezIewJ
「哲也。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAUHX7BIKRCH
「嗯。」36Please respect copyright.PENANA0LzSdqr6za
「我們交往吧。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAuQGVQt7Dpc
「好的,赤司君。」36Please respect copyright.PENANALS7mX0KKKM
「......你沒有什麼想說的嗎?」赤司的手臂繞上了黑子的背脊。36Please respect copyright.PENANASt8dh9CMJf
「如果有的話大概就是...」黑子哲也輕輕笑了出來。「太美了,讓時間停下吧。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAUkZFg4WoJU
人的體溫與氣味,肌膚與衣料的觸感,把一個擁抱拆解開來大概就是這樣的組成。可是偏偏在這個時候他才能理解那些千篇一律、陳腔濫調的描寫之中,為什麼會有人想哭。36Please respect copyright.PENANAIhA4zZoVI1
似乎感覺到他的動搖,黑子加重了擁抱的力道,就像赤司緊緊抱住他一樣。並不給人強韌印象的肉體,卻蘊含了意想不到的龐大能量。赤司心想,這大概就是為什麼黑子有能力成為奇蹟之影,並且總是試著去承擔很多他乍看之下根本擔不起的東西。36Please respect copyright.PENANA4KVqNYC7nX
例如說試圖成為青峰大輝的對手,例如說試圖告訴赤司征十郎什麼叫做喜歡。36Please respect copyright.PENANA1ONwnK7amv
現在理解了這一點的自己,對於黑子願意回過頭來擁抱自己這一點有著無法言喻的激動。36Please respect copyright.PENANAMoaEjIW0wK
一切都是期間限定,對於自己先前任性的頑劣感到相當懊悔的心情、還有對於感情上所表現出的逃避。只有在現在這個時候,稍微流露出一點軟弱是可以的吧?過了這個時間,一切都會被放回盒中鎖在心底。36Please respect copyright.PENANA1vyouAHoO5
即使他知道眼前這個人根本不會在意。他並不是因為自身的完美表現而傾心於己,他是黑子哲也,喜歡的是赤司征十郎。36Please respect copyright.PENANAH8Oe72CSKk
就只是這樣。36Please respect copyright.PENANAyslcLqh6Rl
在黑子的頸窩中,只有赤司知道的、空前絕後的眼淚,毫無聲息地緩緩流出了一滴。36Please respect copyright.PENANAk6d7t1Git6
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「最後一個問題。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAqD64cJzOmi
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「嗯。」36Please respect copyright.PENANAp38mr63ggR
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「那個時候,你為什麼要再回到體育館?」36Please respect copyright.PENANAWJMLmro8Rh
36Please respect copyright.PENANA1SaTyysTzR
「因為下雨了,所以我帶著傘來接你。」36Please respect copyright.PENANA3qF4ZeoDn9
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-fin-36Please respect copyright.PENANABbYNpw04C7
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