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「去哪？」349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOgIZPdDIg
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEdiumxV2c
「急事。」349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTnXJsqU9w
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDY9P4ayZ6
「你不吃晚餐？」349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5Ay8iyTJC
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9cAXtFVFr
我沒應答，逕自出門。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayfaJRqGRt
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkJYLjZnu7
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHh3UHFmcvC
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeP9yEd50BD
難以言喻的鬱悶。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87Oh5uhLQF
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2rG7SLUqx
長嘆。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIJivp84Lx
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr28dRYsEM5
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiy78zxbwM
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8RO6St69w
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7spKhqSs9
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8F7BkuwhDr
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EQ8siiCx0
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHMdQn2zL4
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSeq5K9t8k
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHQTp6iqVB
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpaFGz6jeQ
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KQIq9Q2i3
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55HK8Gb3Se
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQk1iK4tJ7
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtx8nJwiTZ
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjAOqUH8uB
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbGybVSXTa
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4yuxDNRDH
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLafyR1wX99
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqPkiFi79P
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmyiCQz4w3
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWJB4A4s9j
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0WPhA4ZZk
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteBSw1iyrq
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2gbbhFYYD
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoJb1ZwQ48
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKt1Qr4TWmw
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLV2Vto1jlX
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4niPWucJpO
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciDzwuXTVu
註定的。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaKhzQpVv0
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgz398qdyy
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7jua1AyH6
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2X9dJjauL
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3a63kF2TS
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ580hGfJA1I
停步。猶疑。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTb4gSOcdA
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyDv4a9zoe
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl08126l5BD
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlehlb8WmR
轉身。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGw7L3yEwo
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdN0U6PJGeF
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKxJI0UtMO
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrq5Fuj9sI2
我回身走去。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NXhSXYXbD
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfz0a99lgh
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2Fk1Mr7uc
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8NR49rMhf
把小狗抱入懷內。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JX5OZGpYf
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjx4paiHa6x
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeYDsTmNbu
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zwGgkfVsx
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZX1LFx5T0t
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvVQXp7uFB
海風？海濱公園步道？349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ivUexqcAv
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3cVfshUJr
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr99sKHHqAy
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxrW9rhvOm
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkavUDszHuh
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNu8xsIJfI0
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3qlKdScR4
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRaJrUf4Rj
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7CfK5neQk
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5y2vbDzI1
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFplB7Oh3z
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKa9kpRxD4
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oDjCSPSCA
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTy3hcQHnx
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSg6gEMtkXc
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgcVtxVbL3
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal7yhOBF0s
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr36wNxXPKB
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUbtZtfUbb
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSs4ARIjv3c
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrglbZbbUi
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QStpoOPkq
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUL6ns4MMjR
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZP682X2N1
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bM4AQ2aEt
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokOUnnAye9
鬱悶何來？349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLqgOLdc28
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGGDfRdVdC
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYen9paeFYb
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ070GiTjMK8
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytIX1gwTtY
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GxECLi0hX
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJ0vz89euM
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxBLRZYg5n
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJH8fTVOwh
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IrsC759OO
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuBMREuOyo
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvv49tCbfl
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5viT9G0Hem
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lLzRPPqML
然後呢？根本沒有然後。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU69TZeyHLo
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxl26PCm2i
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lwTuekwjk
349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpGa3pjt1T
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。349Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcB1bQnDiZ
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns3.128.205.101da2
