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「去哪？」402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJlX1AbpFb
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiq1EhG0645
「急事。」402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QCJfXr51F
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfLDVSw8aT
「你不吃晚餐？」402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIkqC9MQHb
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHFje1Oq0R
我沒應答，逕自出門。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRJynjOeqN
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hj0CZDBev
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Sk0smfRse
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaDgtutolM
難以言喻的鬱悶。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwJi1T7qBT
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnA3EkXUrJ
長嘆。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQ7VssWOX8
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmiXme5BN5
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrD708JvkCR
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytJArlY6tO
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9w9H5crjN
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzRKQraMfY
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDwRFOHyaG
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoQIEKSKQ5
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3unIMg9Pbk
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjf5spolVe3
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcVjGqxONG
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZaTKfa9LB
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAopHGNpHi4
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HKTy8osML
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHvrqpSdmx
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDN4gbDjpPW
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAryAeVzmc
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gID5k30p9
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYiZZAbd0a
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7HiR7ZPWC
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lBs8h1WkB
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCbIQgQHuH
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jg3RIzxkl
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOUEHEjpmB
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRx25VMK0bX
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTgbxOfNRF
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIqWHnbFhy
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡis918XqvmJ
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMOaVc6eNG
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNfovvrh1c
註定的。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTUse5hqqi
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRj4ExwqUR5
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmR52putUIE
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21FSt6km2Q
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5wpvPd6bx
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJILQtAM5K
停步。猶疑。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUPhCsaK6U
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlD5GOozS4
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVXJtqKdis
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9yeGSTYtC
轉身。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiz3nj8tpr
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zoQNUFrdd
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqpwlqoghv
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeX3Rse7hd
我回身走去。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYIRWP1KMb
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOt1kLFkW03
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQf4t3nQJG
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvliyM80Zzc
把小狗抱入懷內。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pLVogKsd3
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BjEj6ADSB
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85zwfrjAhK
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XDhdajiAC
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbivIVxF8g
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxai6YRo5n
海風？海濱公園步道？402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2QVVoaLg1
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2k3oCB4eD
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQVrQ9Vkgd
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SDy20R0dY
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDE4282sww2
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZ4hzWL8t4
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19rF52HAZX
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcW2aWhl15
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu10wu1LJI2
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gmagZO0TQ
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaLGvJdOrr
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6Ynb9CRRq
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFuffl8SOA
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ckv70QO96
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNB5fOwYlpv
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9ZW45UL00
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPww3t44GM
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbk7gu72aps
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLopsvLEJlh
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNapQBWzrc
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1QeTO9tWF
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VJzU7Zu0P
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtNNimqiBo
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAxTZBRccT
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9W2q9mDZtm
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzig0KKz6s
鬱悶何來？402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYq4FP35dUv
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8JOfut8v5
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu0cPuSpsP
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnRDC3Df5U
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTuOiN23c0
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjAzkzkjfA
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67uKaW1wt0
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1j9kt3O27Y
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3F6sEo6DuX
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡta51VrKQ8k
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcq15GBK3I
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gRjCx2qNu
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauEErY7xMw
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKaQU3p4u0
然後呢？根本沒有然後。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhk1zZ8nVVg
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Cc3H5rvu0
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFf6r2uEuoK
402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Hy8WarQC8
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。402Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvwKxhNLwx
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說集《雜念集》
ns216.73.216.9da2
