一家人合照、用過的筷子碗碟、她最愛多啦A夢公仔⋯⋯ 有關阿媽貼身用品及心頭好，均一一齊全，幾乎沒有遺漏。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58vGxn6duq
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvavSjAXrm
物品可以循環再造，生命卻無起死回生。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgIaX0GDgm
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoekuY6EKqj
兩年來，我依然不曾發現，甚至誤認為他無情，為其加施出軌「罪行」。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrESXPnf1f
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rqewjGigY
也許，真正無情的，是我。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYCnAGcx1i
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPstRWEbhJ
「除咗你之外，無人可以幫佢。」她拿起其中一隻多啦A夢公仔，輕力拍去塵埃，再小心放回原位。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMTnhPX7AD
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPMMbh1DiV
此話一出，有種無形壓力壓在雙肩，恐懼自己無法勝任：「點解得我一個？」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82x5OzEMou
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofMknTJ8gc
阿媽沒作解釋，而是隨手拿起其中一幀家庭照，放到我眼前。 那是阿媽測出癌症前，我們一家三口，最後一次到日本旅行。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nd3KeaFYB
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMysXhuomv
照片中，我擺出一個冷漠微笑表情，他們兩人則圍住我，於富士山山尾拍照。 昔日畫面，頓時湧上心頭。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1OeygZVtq
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJtZ96pBNM
那時，沒有知曉未來能力的我，還傻更更哼着《富士山下》，裝作睿智問道，應為「要擁有，必先等失去怎接受。」抑是「要擁有必先等失去，怎接受。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2zScCBiIo
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxwXL6qG5t
我想，無論是前者或後者，結果同樣沒法接受。 有時候，我會羨慕別人，自己不過是二十多歲，竟已失去母親，被迫面對死亡。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtouSxviBl
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbft6ENcqo
喪禮當日，不少親戚長輩，均輕拍我肩膊，要我好好孝順阿爸，表示未來就靠我支撐。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnpeCRhOsc
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27DzUKmag5
每下輕拍，都如巨石般重壓，有種無形壓力，要我一下子負起所有責任。我只能點頭苦笑，敷衍他們說話。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClgf7XLA3g
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrIJOEhjHZ
若果自己再年長點，會否有足夠成熟及智慧，能夠承受這一切。 仔細再想，無論何時發生，年輕或年老，均無法淡然接受，豁達面對。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3lBQKtadU
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWo1PBxTDrr
可我竟認為，阿爸年紀大，能成熟應對，懂走出傷痛，輕視他痛苦。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ywkWavtQk
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vkoMGDVER
他會否與我一樣，渴望有人關心，而非獨自承受？ 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5J8O0EunZt
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgWQXXrJpzX
「呢段時間，佢將所有心機放喺我哋身上，最能夠相信嘅人，就喺曬相入面。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKv8wakX4u
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KidVa4suh
「但阿爸會信得過我？」畢竟從那天開始，他就決心隱瞞事實，不讓所有人知道，打算獨自承受一切。 時隔兩年才示好，就連如何開口，我都無從入手。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5jRMhNarF
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENiOsREDI4
「呢張相，你話呢度好睇，佢先Set腳架影，我話另一邊清啲，佢就點都聽唔入耳。咁你話佢信你定信我多啲？」她反問。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1Ob00LQgb
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDM9MCcBXw
我沉默不語，內心卻冒出答案。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSelHXGyao
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIGuGWEGl9
「佢一直信你，只係你唔信佢。」阿媽直接了當說，我下意識立即反駁，卻無法自圓其說。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDVxewCaFq
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6ejbhvlYf
「年紀差太遠，呢啲叫代溝。」我推搪着。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChcSWMupN4
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuM1vx2NBb
「車，又唔見我哋代溝。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaaMw0GwuB
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaJZfYFMc0
「都有㗎，但你明我講咩。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCQhJU0hq9
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyMUSl5VUm
「你都無同佢講嘢。」127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhJ58qgUBx
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnIKZrCkkC
「一講咪嘈交。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2OpTfWluv
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXDFjmqbYi
「你唔講佢點明。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPb4c2XTNMu
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEu7HENBBc
「佢聽得入耳先得㗎。」127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmaXQcAFi1
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1jkWRYDj9
「你未試就知佢聽唔入耳？」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTz3Y3ZPl6P
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4b9AN7JLL
「我試過，但⋯⋯」我欲言又止。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7P70ABfsp
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QzNmdO8Wp
「試吓原諒佢？」阿媽的三寸不爛之舌，出口快狠準，簡短卻精準，令我啞口無言，不得不屈服。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaH2WiGjMJ
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08CSpep69K
儘管每次落敗，我依舊懷念鬥嘴時光，好比沉默不語。阿媽回來，頓覺整間屋充滿活力，非死氣沉沉，沉靜無聊。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgc67pfev2v
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYu6r4vZvz
不知何時開始，我害怕面對阿爸，連說一句晚安，都經多番掙扎，每次說到嘴邊，便打消念頭，直接上床訓覺。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXC62xOAr8
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAY9VTIt1r
漸漸地，彼此不再交流對話，同坐餐桌，各有修行，卻曉有默契，互不搭嘴。 若他與阿媽說話，我則專注食飯，他安靜下來，就由我與阿媽閒聊。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSt8EV3y1L
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWNszL5Lxf
彼此傾訴對象，就只有阿媽一個。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoiMYVZt68
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBXCxQ3iKe
這兩年來，大家對答次數，應該也有百多句，如果「哦」及「嗯」這些答覆也包括在內。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrZH5Tf4ya
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4Ii2un7Jd
但真正交流，可謂少之又少。 對上一次直視他、講出心底話，要追溯到四年前爭執。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJXYVacTWP
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FrexPZo87
那時候，阿媽為勸交，竟勸得流眼淚，可阿爸並無動容，無情說出一句話，令我感心寒可怕，自此對他心死。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCLwYQPCYE
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFjZVnkY0v
「你走咗唔好再翻嚟。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQW7FovbPi
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMERnw5fdOg
他說得字字鏗鏘，像是我踏出家門半步，就馬上斷絕關係。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35IbXlKwPR
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2k6501zjf
原來，於價值觀面前，關係也不過脆弱如紙。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWn7Zfakr2R
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesBSxWIrG5
我只不過，希望他能理解我想法，而非站在電視前，隔住螢幕指手劃腳，喝罵批評我們的不是。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUER2OWkC8j
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAlqt0N6WU
我怕，他變成我最討厭一群人，我更怕，我就是他所指的混蛋。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTArODpMJEu
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RfDxpiMWp
當雙方處於對立立場，彼此都渴望對方歸邊，誤以為激辯一番，世界就會變好，我們就能和好。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjZwTrQozt
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmb9mTCMbyJ
但最終，我仍淪為，他口中的混蛋；他終成為，我內心最討厭的人。 也許，我們都有錯，錯在想拗贏對方，錯在想得到對方認同。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUzcSxaDBN
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytBbDLFL58
如今，彼此不再交流半句，這結果，又如他所願、如我所想嗎？ 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneazOeNK1E
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYjGsxOhvG
我不知道。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9d0g8THBPY
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeALC0LQEj
我只知道，他能輕易說出那句話，輕視我倆相處回憶，輕鬆捨棄彼此關係。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXi5Feschc
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7bSpiFCC3
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaJWCWj5BT
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