「你還可以嗎？」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2ztPXsIjB
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDx87JUjfU
「無法不可以。」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZVpFyRlxg
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RzeCy6V6E
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyQIGN40E3
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDksQHEJQw
「謝謝你。」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcbqgQTg63
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkobm0T7IGP
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sA2nLJB8k
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozRGYjiNvu
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iFHxCVLax
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1gaKzFbdu
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUKyGeXP8G
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRcFW4plL1
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQN12754x7
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBcROTGAt5
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoE0g1BCvus
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29U4R59EfY
「老婆……」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9ISvXx6w5
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEOu8urx8y
「有困難？金錢？」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OmSC6F7CX
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2ZTHTvzXv
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLunYZ2UxH
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMauTsmYPE
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEiPjk1OXB
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbU1sPhYVs
「嗯。」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRT3ZfqVGM2
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKxOsJrs3W
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPJdJ2Su14
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHrxSOwo3R
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8oicOmPw3
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8ubzciNlY
無能。無力。無奈。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRyJ4DZA99
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZDrBVX8bd
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63DtgW2MLm
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0J8IDEMmg
剪不斷，理還亂。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mqZAgaJMH
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8QY5fi3CHv
勿剪，別理。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgSNu2eeOST
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BuM0rJJMO
待時日將其化解。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZzaZfbAJl
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQB7iwIkntb
莫操心。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnvSgH2GZI
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0EPHSwjwQ
莫操心？673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlO15pO7yYy
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCl3WTB9ds7
如何莫操心？673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrQsnDOK9s
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1W47XRvTpo
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBTZ2H5dxC
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzakq1Y8juJ
撐多久？如何撐？673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWC0UYRemEC
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNcK3XiRWV
不知道……673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEyErtsrZF
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHXFWcJLwm
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRFGfJiD9H
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4MCM4WIlB
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPOqx65RgS
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmq0qqwqZmf
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxA9NR0EdwA
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsy6uSCPVN
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdkoPNjwIP
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEZMhCQDF8
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejRSXU4hje
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgBhyDNgCL
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElJWuRH0MB
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSxMfalwtZ
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6w9DyrpHD
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUsLhILxDI
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJqxegXEKZ
我笑。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1aS8bgsmt
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtj6UGGsajW
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1sogNzkHD
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewk01tj6d5
忽爾不想回家。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFuV9fClHJ
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9wDx3qLoX
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbFzIXT3JV
「好的。」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMrz2fmVDc
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUemW7AOnoH
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgQVcUWowe
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIp9jeVu6j
只會苦了自己。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi82CmQmjh7
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eKjqcyvMF
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQthweIWIh
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1roEH27wJ6
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQUkHm1HWF
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtcw4vF23z
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugUxpWXp4a
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JKrCC3QIk
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCh03FOY6hJ
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJnjtIHKvU
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jt2yvdEPj
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Vo8HApLBw
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPAKwf1bhS
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpWhYd2ovL
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVsV30MdYl
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eCXpIGnMK
一、二、三、四、五……673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzao3B8yN2
註：673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPcHIMUnoi
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2Nu4fdYC5
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDewpAhOqhP
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKQmnT8WPB
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBirf9fbnM
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rLOgjjKLO
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XIa67nNjT
673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7msXdQCbEq
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》673Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkIDDp0ooQ
