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How I Got Into Writing

I started writing in the summer of 2006 at the age of 12. I began writing one-shot short stories scripts in Filipino. I had no idea what kind of writing it was until I was in high school. They call it script writing. I usually wrote love stories back then and a few of fantasy ones. The reason why I started writing was my childhood crushes. They were the main characters of my stories under pseudonyms. One of my favorite hobbies was imagining them. I was too young to be involved in a romantic relationship, besides I was too ugly to have one (I was NBSB *No Boyfriend Since Birth* for 23 years.) I can still remember where I wrote them. I had some drawing books and used bond papers from school (the one I used with the activities). I wrote them at the back because they were usually empty. I remember I enjoyed writing and just stayed at home most of the time.

In the same year, I started writing a diary as well. Mainly because it was one of my first year high school English teacher's homework. Diary writing was one of his homework. I enjoyed writing diaries. I can by so talkative there and I didn't really like sharing things to my friends. I could say that my writing and especially my English got improved. I have been so grateful to that teacher for introducing me to diary writing.

I wrote a lot of short stories and diaries in 2006. I was really active in writing. I remember I was the one who wrote for our drama play in first year high school and I was so glad because my Filipino teacher liked it. She asked me who wrote it because it was well-written. It was about a family story. I got more motivated to write more.

I was active in writing for three more years but in my final year in high school, I decided to burn all my writings including the diaries. It was the very regret that I have all these years. I still regret what foolish thing I did to my writings. I think the main reason I did that was being afraid people might try to read them especially my diaries. Little did I know that it would help me in the future. Now I got nothing to look back to as a writer. I got no proofs of me being a young writer because of my stupidity. I wish I saved just one writing. I wish!!! I really regret it! Apparently, I stopped writing. I got hiatus, as what they call it. I got depressed and didn't know what to do. I wish I had someone who was against with the idea of burning them. :'( It bothers and frustrates me for ten years now. I just can't forget what I did! It is still devastating. I wish a didn't have a foolish young mind. I wish I got someone who was so supportive of my writing life. I can't even remember if someone ever tried to read them. I still don't have that someone until now. I still got no one who reads them. However, I still write!

I started writing again in 2012. It wrote poems this time.I write sad and dark ones. I decided to write in English to improve it and my writing. Still, no one got interested with my writings and it was fine. I didn't write to impress people. I wrote to express my feelings that I didn't learn while growing up. I am an introvert and not used to sharing my thoughts and feelings to others. I get to express my thoughts through writing. I have been unheard and unnoticed. Sometimes, I have this thought that maybe I won't be unheard and unnoticed once I'm dead. One of my wishes is one day people would get to read my writings without my existence. Perhaps it will remain just a wish!

I'm not active in writing for years. I only write whenever I want. I always get motivated to write when I am sad.

-Yuchae