Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDS6fi6Vfz
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEpXRofGt4
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQX3fLbqj6
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeOgOfa6cU
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8eVmlNsnI
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7pdjTjWrl
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUeqKHoRfn
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppBSHUp1ON
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zDDy3yx6I
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWys19xPZHP
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjhIqTLRYQ
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4loUvxYlhs
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZvGd1GvHG
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3QEcxLKOr
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHdnyAxLzU
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZemv1GKHP
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAoPmxPCqM
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNdbuNVgZx
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsu3cGS9g1
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCKMSqQNuU
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnoZ0irleK
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLCTEzYsVo
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfT3FjVt7Bj
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetEXRNTOlJ
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjcKqQEVMV
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kjmVXAXC1
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDnKBbWc6I
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgm5ZMmchN
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cDDHQIWDa
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XJQ1JwEbb
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLwn1EoK3i
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXq0u6heWw
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLyhhyFLsO
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOcIVEnldW
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GYGKXBY7X
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8Ln5Cnokl
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3p59YLCke
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXScZlKNI7v
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidgzCrCIG0
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg7FoWmbtM
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoZNriLpne
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9ttanBWsb
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtz0MTde5S6
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jNsjeACJ5
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4VCDQXXfk
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRYWdbbMg2
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdu4uNz1qy
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ058v8hDAqK
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQVcBUoCNU
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5V80sQiiT
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEzPg7wVXW
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVluSL1Eeb
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lw9QxTHyS
*•*•*•*948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89QwxDMbW5
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fj4vwa5O0
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFp4AdZ1OXg
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5BeqhthN9
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjNEw8W9As
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Vri9GJ2Nd
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuVzZCzqOv
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JHqLjJNvn
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVoGqxQPTX
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMPM6eBOqv
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxP4r2o75N
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0U912ODN6R
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpbM28BZ37
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJWKpg2q7G
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpQ6GnTreZ
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7h9w7DcAu
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LMJicNhhc
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZjkNPC7zK
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqega0N0eK
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCpMqUIOAc
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7biWNIAv5
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwqREHjBvJ
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYM6VhiBGZ2
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIffAfNMh27
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7FXijjNhO
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsoEGpFcKP
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlxe4Elu97
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscftVVpptd
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJ8mcOYoKR
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkIVvkwvtc
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYWg6NFemd
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44KiSikDWn
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNN3JD1nTB
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFo1f8D1tZd
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NZhjykKZQ
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmgNubHqAo
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2jiWfurOr
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1NB9pj6bt
"It won't be painful—"948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswr1neySXN
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMJcblqSLh
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPmPcIRuak
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ19BzqKlRv
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrbQCMW2Un
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ963vfxeJdb
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpioHO4itIO
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Pex864ALh
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSn77pv88G
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSqED9Fo9D
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQL5cdtCBGK
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhwYaznpOi
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifgTfJo96U
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcy8tvrlQnH
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHNzeCssuS
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMVTi8SxIy
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYX5oNu7eUu
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJx9Ynci8Bf
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfpLf9NDt5
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZSfBkyWRx
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XWOxvhMEJ
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSIxiScozu
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5GxIDIkYG
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHGvE9Kh3t
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqpgbwWRXj
This is it.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGKLXS9jue
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wneLpJ7X6
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1q7ZzyjYER
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6vkMeh06c
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAye7ZSoSe
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCixlVRRJx
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlv1AHiApK
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7blKs54W9N
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ261e8U2ZrG
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIilS93gDt
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYG3EoQcP1
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaEso2PiNV
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkA3wdeh3D
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvayoqrgog
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWO0uHeatl
I freeze.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBQB4eah4p
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLWR56gCAU
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRMnteAQIP
Then I breathe.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTPJ2LTCVj
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIexPtZeHl
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGmpYGYVml
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48n0G0nwds
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuE9X6PyGv
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1L74HJWhbH
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEj0NOXs0gY
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAN8YLHgjc
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUPalQULiT
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILeGOdFCqw
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQImBwseAC0
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4RoGNZRrK
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB2LW9ZXv8
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzua3hG2AJ
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBo6c9oeiy
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXISddAIhE
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QNpHuY0ud
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdwcQ766RK
Something isn't right.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmNEF2jmNT
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQ5TsYyIp0
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3rXYvsHWY
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCG3RLm4YT
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkewctSnLU
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBR1YMFCqQ
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlmPkUqrB7
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZubzT6Oxg1
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4EnlXNIXQ
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82sjDKD8fE
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWoOnMHoKb
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8ejb8aaji
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0rCY7mmDr
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPifmb2crvQ
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEJrn1fuDl
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOej4nESR4
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq315bvrhJ0
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFf8xehkWGP
His lips twitch. 948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPrzchZ63R
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7glvZO62cG
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpoujoi8sNE
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH92WBK6umU
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmO1I4DBZt
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfstAU9vEzO
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwlXWCkm13
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQR7KLVZ5gP
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqOkj1LpEX
"Okay so what do I have?"948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFU6sRL0jLH
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxE5Yqsteg
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkKjZSC8Ix
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsmHJHIUGi
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxpo0u0sAB
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9KVsxmwwM
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbIZQiG9Av
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvwGGSOvjW
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiV7W5Cjx1
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XSNbzend7
948Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQE03fY0mq
