Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQbxKwtFEe
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCLB2CZvzQ
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYwlUi1oZX
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIV925ji36
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3T6osFjmuw
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWrM5uxOZk
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMnC8uPPj6
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26zAxR36KX
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWoFfOeJKU
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4WOmEiMan
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5hprUoF6D
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh45xGKM7d5
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1sCRrXnDT
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRwRfktibC
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJy87tVCwoZ
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliKIJd7c43
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xqz8glXCE
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYexhpT1FgH
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwDMg0OuEU
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnPUUChYLJ
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2l9G80yUE
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhqfeepkNb
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkt8WdABSOh
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPg9grWOQJ
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwU04Wdt0S
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxQHPWYbYu
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75b5dElRao
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3Q7Q8l9io
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7c1BIXpKm
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqCHOuSG0W
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgW3tBTCk4
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9DJB7Re3I
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOJwvDarl2
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1L8CKxekQP
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCS9T1p3mB
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9B9OG71JG
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUs0I4WECg
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YRRz6Np69
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDOEwIz8ic
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPWIpS1Y03
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gj99DAlQ0
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJNZdbV5Ir
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBf85rOEtjY
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDf3A6fAFZs
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKJ1lEUc0w
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCW9c0hnPF
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0moX8SPvkF
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNAlXAvalV
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mZpi5Ksgm
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UxLy9H7H3
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OSZbZyQYz
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavsx8Xjvqv
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoivGKXAl7l
*•*•*•*839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmT6tAgibq
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6ojq91O6v
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlYgKPMcqV
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LVCIRW7RN
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQdEctTqvu
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ303Gueqcwl
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtHHPsRwia
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkiDsDkzhY
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1QrKEHaBe
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAE4eMmRkb
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxzX3AW3la
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1X1UXWnH4g
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRRORbNVll
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORCcXIIcjz
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwmc63c80D
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmonNxlssrO
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZVX5qF6oU
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NJiwMhhdj
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZy2ODeuDa
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKh6VudRPT
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfpOEpxTCx
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5eY2b7fsI
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlQGrvGqfK
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1l78rzepi
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbYZPMwVyP
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGLj2QNtcj
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC089qR17gM
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN552PQe07j
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9g9EyJiRr
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqZNx82MNk
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6JYsN2hvg
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nmq8zktFr
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunV4xMYfAc
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuMhzrlNJO
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CFgr9WIgY
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVleMufImXM
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKpeDS1c1K
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaylzWP9oB
"It won't be painful—"839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXCAI66gXe
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYgFJbzFnY
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1rH750gzK
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUibdAZUTJq
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6hADMwydl
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzo0twf7zou
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVIdLB2dNX
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqU74Enpjv
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFhDfDoTJG
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CUc3whNoT
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJv9a3BoOZw
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWbHS0seWm
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEhZRj645d
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKeBE3CN8C
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrPJl3naQh
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3vCdjReEp
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2ZMa6Vgef
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81amM8dZPk
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1K0r5YtpE
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJYn7Hbgsv
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpZNHH1myM
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEUi7YAzno
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekiamxtYL7
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzcEnt7U2K
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZed3VTrVRd
This is it.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcuJVrtYDL
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilaEFu9jMl
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkGxm4Nn2l
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Bgr6stvWK
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCltKvfxSzM
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYgDoHFAMG
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Q5fOiUIpR
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20ufgg5lKt
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRHFKh8H2P
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceptihTJ4e
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWFAfqq85W
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZXpxJijzt
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjXaRWBUXR
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8dsQGsQxX
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIwq9st30Q
I freeze.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2rMXeLn3R
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPq7h5OGUjQ
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb7jZrV9ZX
Then I breathe.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYBsykJP35
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELzaguwafd
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEY6OroLkiv
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTupu9sNWT
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrmc7kdpjL
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34t5IJYcoA
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPRK6baUPC
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5SN7h2iUI
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUttzhCIBI
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n1OvtMiwP
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCesv6oYRu3
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSksA5Q9S7B
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAknb6Pzbvv
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MWfkdsO2f
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaSQZdHSFy
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjATLEuA3f
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJBQkjT8Eh
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWKqXJQI6d
Something isn't right.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fvGqB9VS6
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUSAHNhlkh
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwo9XSpj6sZ
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrPHXAtmx4
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK92fCy1VAj
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmSKCfsbTH
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwq2q9PX0Zg
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1qg52rqE3
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphzOuzpG6F
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKi94grItB
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdL1k68QgLW
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqE2mIObCQ
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIRhx2OPM0
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD34vFeweJF
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGo4rOorqV
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8Wnm8saQj
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm30feudUs5
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUfrqhvmh1
His lips twitch. 839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISL4ctQL3s
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvL0FZYcCr
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6niY15gO9Z
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILTpHjuYpG
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgxKuFuDW6
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwysiKRnCE
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDG2ajZMk2y
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZbSXkCUpb
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFc72E3324
"Okay so what do I have?"839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIEaug8mnM
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2lVK0znSM
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzPDRZxkue
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDvZlF43FC
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhxrw8J8Go
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7n2mZKLQO5
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEB9RvJOK3
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6pmavom46
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIOwhKurzI
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoJKnMqt5Q
839Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEo8VIDBedY
