Doctors' offices have always made me immensely uncomfortable. You never get through immediately; there's always a fifteen minute and up waiting period.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0a2E037TT3
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCNu88mZ5X
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5Ut8ufiiU
In that amount of time, someone as imaginative as myself can think a vast number of ways in which something could be severely wrong with me, because you're never at the doctor if you're alright.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eMAZaH0Sf
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gK2ZlpmRb
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzZq3mJYs5
Today, however, I'm at the doctor's office and I'm almost sure that there's nothing physically wrong with me.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshVsaqpygG
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaWNWsjGSQ
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZ6zBk2DX9
It's what's inside of me that's the problem.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjVNORkjew
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pLcvum1Bb
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoA3gpzzPs
You see, I made the brilliant decision to have unprotected sex, which has landed me here, in a doctor's office, wanting to "make sure" that I'm actually pregnant, as if three positive pregnancy tests aren't proof enough. 923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3K9vdNr7u
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRUUL1ljQZ
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZwNsyaqPr
Despite the knowledge that it is highly unlikely that I am not pregnant, I still hope; and with that hope comes nervousness.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmecSDWLUXr
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pZslSu9aH
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhELuucOh3
My palms are clammy and I'm constantly alternating between bouncing my knees and tapping my feet against the tiled floor. The receptionist is looking at me with a concerned expression, as if expecting me to have a full blown panic attack, and to be honest, I'm somewhere pretty near to that.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWwkEBzwAx
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5sWw6HBSP
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBnlCtAwVq
In an attempt to calm myself, I pull out my phone and play Candy Crush. It doesn't help. 923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CxaVHzgmA
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmFrbvhPwt
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAcdxtLdRm
I plug in my earphones and try to listen to some music, but after two minutes, I realise that I don't even know what the hell I'm listening to; it could be classical music, or rap music. I wouldn't know.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbqssjYmzD
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTS7bVuQIC
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuIm3iyolXF
I rip out the earbuds in frustration, and lean back in my chair, closing my eyes.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSrJ45AQln
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFz1W9iDgx
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoSE37PumG
"Miss, would you like some water?" the receptionist asks, startling me.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMY1dNvX0vq
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3EHqMXnzB
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJFrAXciu3
In my fit of irritation, I forgot that she was there.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgmXzJKwfh
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4juzNozFF
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cs5Ny2pR1
"Yes, thank you," I reply in what I hope is a calm voice, but even to my own ears, it sounds harsh.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSgNDVjkxs
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNayVywPaQC
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr3m7I8ERU
She dips below the desk and comes back up with a small unopened bottle of water.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXbQ6KVBSz
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jaKjZUyCa
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnX4ReRQmsN
"Thank you," I say to her, as she passes me the bottle.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Q6ftrQY2h
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFbIQX2VoD
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8z6Z6BHv6
"You're welcome," is her reply. She looks as if she wants to say more, but she's cut off by the ringing of her phone.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUtwCzto99
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVvWh69XYH
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctcp9xayKL
She picks it up, and has the briefest of conversations, before saying, "Dr.Davidson is ready to see you now.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WnNsWg3J8
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzQVeexDk7
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFX0KSiyNJ6
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbI6BbdnOx
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcuagGbSet
*•*•*•*923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlE7hfqchP8
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eE6aHp3Xs
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOaecOeTNy
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScvEfBkwng
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluMBeADDaw
I'm shaking like a colt trying to walk for the first time.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvYGjs3xbk
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekfadr3gs6
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8Y7SMKpEE
"Sit," the doctor insists, pretending not to notice my nervousness.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLpbNsEawR
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJS9VRjefYj
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNt7xsXfme5
"So, tell me exactly what's going on," he says, looking me in the face.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXOFTOpEcc
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIywute3xY
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqd7CJK6RGJ
"I fucked without a condom, and now I think I'm pregnant."923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZoSuookZa
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWdZT4h66M
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiRotyH92q
"Okay," he replies, completely unfazed by my bluntness. "Lets find out," he says, sounding like Dora the Explorer.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYwB4bZUYk
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeF7ETtKW0Y
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwTM4jeuN0
And for some reason, on some level, I don't want to explore this, because it feels as if not investing it will make the problem sublime and diffuse, but I know it won't.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vPbOtDIMb
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCMbS5NAZx
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9APVvpelp
"Put this on, and change," the doctor tells me, handing me the gown that patients use to cover themselves.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VYmotm2Yh
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OvxnHJj99
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBaGbZ7mKw
He does an overall examination before the test, but to be honest, I'm not there; I tell him "no" when he asks if I'm experiencing pain during the breast and pelvic examinations, but apart from that, I'm gone.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBPDNOPM5M
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqecAekX4BJ
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVblHbF6yKf
"Okay. It's too early to see the baby doing an external ultrasound, so I'm going to have to do a trans-vaginal ultrasound."923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqCcXDSS1Q
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfXtYox5gs
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8esnkbBGP0
All I hear is the word "ultrasound"; my heart beat skyrockets.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrjl86nx3d
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZ5eC5CeAK
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstvYNF6DuE
He must be misreading my expression, because he suddenly try's to reassure me.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCeSqnz4uv
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8f34RsWkG
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYQN8I0HiK
"It won't be painful—"923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8w2nbjdAV
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4I5ol8RsI
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBzDC6Oxgh
"That's not it. I don't want a baby,"923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawrLokOzOe
I reply, and god does it feel good to finally say those words out loud to someone.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRicykT1CTU
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ471q7R6b1Q
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczChkJ1iyl
I've thought them many times, but there's this sense of release that comes with saying it out loud, like taking a shit after holding it in for an entire day (if you're one of those people who finds shitting in public to be absolutely terrifying, such as yours truly).923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FSaUQCd85
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGw5hQ7n1n
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdSdd3N16L
He gives me a sympathetic look, but says nothing, and for that I'm grateful.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZl4GZamYz
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Jt72uyi6y
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zM4z5MTTz
What would he say? 'It's okay'? 'You'll be a great mother'? 923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡna8H1rNkjy
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPo802jyqx
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZN5BwjCtY
I hate it when people know absolutely nothing about you, but suddenly become your personal counsellor once they hear a sentence of your life. If I were the kind of person to divulge my personal information and feelings, then maybe, I'd take their advice, but since you they nothing about me, it's just annoying.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHI9el8ZdS7
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQZMre6KBX
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6SUZJdRRs
He's talking to me now, preparing for the ultrasound and telling me what will happen, but I can't concentrate on what he's saying.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3jhp63lxg
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfDku4OlOY
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7xbYETeaX
However, as I feel the cold probe enter me, it feels so... final. Like the final nail to my coffin.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVKKNEw95t
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91Wp6d0eX6
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeGcIyhCjf
This is it.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOVCwSOT2D
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5YYqHnRq1
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1upGLGXB1
He turns off the light so that he can see the image on the ultrasound screen, and that screen is now the only major source of light in the room, begging to be looked at, but I can't do it.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSfT9pSIzZ
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOlLPkNRUR
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5Ry0bQC6d
"Well..." Dr. Davidson says, sounding surprised, but not in a good way.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6Hgg93CwH
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuqP1WoMjc
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQ5qzFJkki
I start to shake, trembling so hard that the paper covering the cot on which I am laying begins to rattle loudly.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfS3vprz8n
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TYjrarBko
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgReaZ9rUU
"Miss Quinn, the good news is, you're not pregnant", he says.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA18j7T1zS4
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMvexFDOMj
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlZiyz0MJm
I freeze.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFfG9QBFW5
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmpoRFopzj
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Fz4jXiWtH
Then I breathe.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVfS2ucU0k
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrzyT4s4Xu
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAUfrkvPai
I let out a loud breath of relief, as relief is my automatic response to hearing something like that in a situation like this.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBUS9b2Zvt
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8bXEFLUhH
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oF8Hwt64D
However, as soon as that breath is released, I 923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOXiTdsN3D
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjs5REQggP
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AyM7vhvEL
1) remember that Dr. Davidson seems unpleasantly surprised, 923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXe99wQ1Vxu
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKkwrzIy2s
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUoT9EFc2q
2) realise that he said "the good news is"; that means that there's bad news, too, and923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfBlyIqArw
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4z5i87HyI
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJg3oRJF2pd
3)realise that he is still inspecting my insides with the probe, frowning at the screen.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpw4IE4AdS
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqgZYTVB6b
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZj0nWYcRu
Something isn't right.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjf5gam7AoI
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMLvgbqH8K
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJ3NIZHHXk
"Dr. Davidson, what's wrong?" I ask, sounding like a nervous wreck all over again.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVNiLbvfTh
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqs65zv95Pd
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFskngPVyw
He continues to look at the screen, and I can see that he knows exactly what is wrong with me; it's just one of those moments in which you try to figure out how to phrase something in the best way possible so as to lessen the blow.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItU41Aw0qS
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQHwQXtZGL
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ncv0QedXQ
He sighs, and pulls the probe out, then switches off the machine.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5hn0wgeN6
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlGWVm8Cdl
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKVkqAnYxC
"Your condition is in no way life-threatening, Miss Quinn," he states, it might just cause complications in the future."923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3raO6vaoB
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqIMZcu006
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbb0ZF2Irh
"Do you mind telling me what my condition is, before I shit myself?" I snarl as he turns on the light and hands me a wad of tissue paper.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeTMVL90VY
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlfdhM886t
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMLaXppwzL
His lips twitch. 923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeTPnDTtFS
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3oLc6R2SL
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKIzTuaFGq
"You've been nothing but nervous since you stepped into my office. I said that so that you wouldn't shit yourself."923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFoJFviMO7W
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6zkH3pYXH
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bbQTvP2rs
Through my nervousness I have to smile at him.923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10hdOGnTx7
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI07NI7ynF
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqjNubjS1L
"Okay so what do I have?"923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqGdIVaGTh
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYE2f6wTzfx
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdQkMKLzmA
"Miss Quinn, you have fibroids."923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9TTm8yKi4
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdOkFC07c2
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuve4LBy0P
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNz1sa6GlZx
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59euuyCc2b
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqNCAIQtDP
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZbmJn5V2J
923Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7yXOeG2WV
