09.236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3vxQAunfN
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUQs3rmS2u
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkO8ry84m36
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1100AuYyR
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHHEDrXvXq
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWyGGwqZWs
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4qpR6UrxI
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkO68BwfGu
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJntM0KcoQe
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHdRliu5b4
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5GYmd4S7C
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HNgkXKCxZ
「怎麼了？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2l0kAtSNem
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuz9Dmv96MZ
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoNZZkWOUu
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckxvV4GRPs
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1UWLcVSym
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCQ7P1WcpO
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpIKsnuCUV
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34YD75Zitv
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBm2gXROSY2
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcGe1Qkyz0
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnjJua8Twm
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ15gXMKz9H
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLlHtpiY2D
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIpRzfJccY
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdAixOqkVt
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3c2fd3Mme
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNEoXSr1RT
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIv3dPnSVl
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONRivjHIIl
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLPnqXJcqA
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOz9d9kkMD
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPm7Ldyqbgw
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxCHCLpM5r
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbbE2X8P2v
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCcET67bfm
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiP5SJ5Zfg
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL09ae4r7av
「也要。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1AHxKeUqJ
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XZwoUZ0YY
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4of0Dr1Yn
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHkWwfifuq
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyN3ijQV0AB
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvM7JS4X2c
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzmkqPEBoa
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27MnHfDSuK
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxYBSrgFuA
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzMvedcUAk
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSW3xV32ML8
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TcAueQqk4
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNuBGxKpag
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVk7tpNVpKO
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGAJhFJLNB
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRE6WuwRGU
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjx6Y5n85hQ
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkg0Yibydyi
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJNg3YwKLk
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDF7nbA0Eh
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyj822OVkEc
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMMVsKSpML
「愛的本質？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENxyYGXROg
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgEfuzroeI
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvd0p2v0i7
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2Zna9zcUu
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVUxpYi55h
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA40cQYFark
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeuVqN1l8B
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRzLlFQWvi
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHoPxYgyZH
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnFzm3SZF3
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtuADeIh5X
「新年快樂。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjE0DFsObH
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQvKDLzo8J
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOGEmHNmif
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmWslAb8LuT
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDiW3KW7Pl
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjfH6PzJib
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4s1iWNmHc
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4pMqsyNWW
「新年快樂，傑。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9CeIjulBS
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJMeKMdGWr
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ny5eEkFma
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrezHPkXfVo
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwSSxI5FnB
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIETX9ESSer
10.236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWunItBY1Ya
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7JhAVI3J7
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wZ8Kx122f
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSA5TmRQYbi
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3agcNpkRnZ
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTSwBV68VA
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoSXIFq5GRo
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNQniQ07cx
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsc5YjNs4Qa
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZTShF3U2S
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7j3HU5uBgX
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4mEuW6HTR
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBHyal6zL2
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy97JCpB4mT
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHnAiBUfSRp
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWZhnLMbNW
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZomycvU2WW
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbclLRszLy
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwi2s6jjih
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9W5oNjbll
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOETTb00mMg
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSoCkzMk6F
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoY6CqXXkO
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VHvZTlikz
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ywJDZHuiF
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfklhm99Sc7
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKf54olw9In
他對我說：不進來嗎？236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7Bmnm73lJ
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsds6quyX7o
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAASpfi7oI8
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLx1YFwQJM
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQRoys6qZr
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiR40W6z9wD
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TchYE0j10
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtAo1NnZNy
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡck18yhYjCU
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Npmu4TtCB
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Q46oJrldH
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Io4UyPKmL
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsNDmiTKj0
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYgC2wdTkl
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDupMZmkgQ3
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSUwlMicff
我好像從未了解過他。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZArKIBCohj
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fMYjZHFGS
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsRQ5UWlPD
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcvivkAE9Z
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVa71djZkQd
「是你嗎？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0DiAwBpVQ
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iYpfFiGWM
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4cyYQbEBc
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTCpdYxty4
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DWHnIbw8f
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnErxrPANE
夏油傑笑了一下。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydl4YZiPS3
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8vbEEZAmq
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBryb5zLvt
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tYp4DVRnF
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc691Z12vbH
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7q9jL3cdg2
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5y9xQhcym
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6m54Fv0ra
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdurzwTFhdL
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfW71GOWhDi
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3V2Y4kE4r
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACRzS5YdyP
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICZQ1nGv5Y
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8n46oihniY
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCLHBFTnNQ
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYPzjSgqLc
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNyjOPxegR
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NrTIpUu6S
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOoqpsgW4H
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFSJ2rNOL1
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGytCIshuGo
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraFjfdKBXv
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaQnAGW0oj
就這樣吧。236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vd5NYBt8N
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcnfrqqIr3
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkua6TXvZf
236Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpUeLkgwst
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