09.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9aT8zDOYH
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSooU5vMkb
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSAnRbDRAw
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEmGraOLBB
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYvC9wRirG
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedRORYqVEl
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7I5E7kEVS
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtN314MgyUK
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQ4ZlTGeM0
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbVUj9mTQ6
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFAeVpiqdf
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkJ9e7kjVi
「怎麼了？」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGK1G4Vamo
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizhzo7ikEF
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUsE4nWXcL
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyXAhvZmGF
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9qhLn5BFr
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLJ7h8a1uM
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJO5SULpVJK
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopLPIJnmb9
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvB5j4uLFAd
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSj0AXieW3
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iICIfmzXF
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0UnVXsJal
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsz0Qyl3n57
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedmdkC017e
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QbD0A4a9S
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBrHIIBU3X
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQq3Og0LmYC
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9PRh0dJen
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsplHkaAqV
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcgALYNdmK
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DBTlqslQ9
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1IL5LIa7t
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYG9VNRgLN
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDwIJLgle9
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2HkWt26Lv
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspWHiBuzOv
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2Yw7FmDu8
「也要。」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Sz9UjquXY
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxPYqr4Z4Z
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqOasZrmPS
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbzGmGFwit
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtvx8oUipq
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU92tXoQokw
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1aD2FMZyL
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0I9Tma3tOr
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0jkor3mKF
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Av0299irR
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlvEhdHAc9
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9jKPQSOwj
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDQIr6mNig
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhL8sJMNIm0
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWffGXnd9I8
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjji6gqh7Jw
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvT2tyJutQR
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LDaO5NT7J
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksep9GDZBY
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKRRud2bp8
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBs7YCwinF
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWn1RGtISA
「愛的本質？」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCS3P8CNdR
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pwAFL0enX
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCziXvlg1vl
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FXGujsD43
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLB2ligcmr
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiiQOUF5KfZ
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFhgZUlrTL
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxN4Msfgqaa
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWaA7B4ui6
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSUnmk2fJu
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3VEgAfAiP
「新年快樂。」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGPMxm8lBO
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc171uV5PlL
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmBl1K0Ay9
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMDlFzAQ0J
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoDBnNhGOS
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PzYWomKai
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0n13k6johZ
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMcyBUSF6G
「新年快樂，傑。」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpKxsZiT3l
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo8uShf1XX
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfOtpIgpEJ
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGxI3HkzeA
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FPx13C1kw
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBe9xstbpi
10.261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkf1zoqW6I
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1PHKFvI0x
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9bHoWRVNO
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVmVRmvO8g
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CI47TOlFR
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6IyhP61LY
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZl6CqZxC0
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnY8jLgblp
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeRjpjzVsC
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBtkEGGRpl
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23PsKZiyM6
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cbjDKB4hz
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Z4HDsqSO6
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJxjuy1njA
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPkDkksmTx
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8ijJxA4uM
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzInBNvAU93
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoOrVffCAb
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oZW9XsJM2
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOK2hb37ri
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeZUR0vH5w
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaFBY7jOsa
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFSdqL9t7k
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AfEYg6079
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrFPNcZ9o2
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLwjDTVxYt
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByjDIvjfw5
他對我說：不進來嗎？261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAd3URUKri1
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NqspiJ7RP
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW73hzfJBss
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJDVkESs69
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGeVAW6b5t
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCsrkyGZwO
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGpVEk5xOz
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcNutY9bpn
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8d3I9IEOo
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjPso8QnUu
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEkOTKRC2e
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIW4dmSbVa4
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJ0jvmhF1P
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1adhC6EOOl
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5ug2V0ShY
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVI4Tx37VN
我好像從未了解過他。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7kwhB56Lv
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB93a4gYII
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjj1MZfMVVT
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo9YQffZMK
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtc4fnbcNUG
「是你嗎？」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTRdF9e0Zz
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlFz2DyfKr
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCxtEhrPeA
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXEnrhynfB
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkDAw5arIF
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbn76cr0pXm
夏油傑笑了一下。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaTpcY2Auu
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEY5fcNZuY
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqccKeaWDYj
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZ4XULvJ00
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzQQCIz0Qd
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvg85ekHtac
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqg1mZLYGm
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbwTzhs2YB
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPkRDJsBOS
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczxW14JkkZ
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVQDxkpJOD
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9snPuWWb6
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVbWJfi0BV
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfnzGiV6Uy
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAvtdDE3kt
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zZyRiWVAh
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbflyUa8HEK
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPs71QXzcvZ
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaV5f2Ef6qt
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL20r7dnZGh
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7VtBar1bD
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PM80VN3rT
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mrz9jkKF7
就這樣吧。261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5zQS1Blr7
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qddYDoAfs
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkjzTeT3Fx
261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOXnRcgmHN
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單261Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrEv9OXCtY
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