十二、9Please respect copyright.PENANAS2RViTTwFT
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黎絳洵後來再醒時,什麼也沒說。9Please respect copyright.PENANAq1qtYEy40p
9Please respect copyright.PENANACn7WJsbCcg
言曇岫不曉得自己怎麼做,才能讓黎絳洵理解,只要黎絳洵需要,根本不用以自身做餌,他無論如何都會相幫,於是他也沒開口。9Please respect copyright.PENANAmKcdaSL0R7
9Please respect copyright.PENANAwO4IsEneIX
黎絳洵的態度仍然不明,因此言曇岫仍然一邊做原本的工作、一邊尋找可以取代自己的人,將經驗交辦下去。相比於過往的人生,言曇岫其實覺得這已是最安穩的日子了,沒有大規模戰爭,能不受飢寒,已是幸福萬分。9Please respect copyright.PENANACW4MUVZQmp
9Please respect copyright.PENANAg9T0hXntBP
過於幽微的改變,不仔細品的話,和不存在差不多。9Please respect copyright.PENANA304KgFyhxz
9Please respect copyright.PENANAbCRBpsEO1f
言曇岫知道黎絳洵一改作風,在他出門時會親自跟著,一旦言曇岫有什麼小傷小病,黎絳洵會反常焦急,其實就這樣,裝作沒有察覺,也並非真不能過日子。9Please respect copyright.PENANAyAADYi0aXO
9Please respect copyright.PENANAPdNCR6NBEA
和身體的苦痛相比,心裡難受總是更好隱瞞。9Please respect copyright.PENANASBkUal7QMa
9Please respect copyright.PENANAshpQSprZvf
時間的流逝速度,從來不會隨著人們的需求而改變,花朝節那天,言曇岫被黎家女主人支使出去祭拜花神,附近的花樓也多有遊湖或遊街等方式,展示花娘的面容與身段。9Please respect copyright.PENANAI7Xqs6ynXj
9Please respect copyright.PENANAd1hJ7J7ZyP
萬紫千紅是花朝節盛放的顏色,年輕男女相偕出遊,各自身著時下流行的裝束,花與人相映成趣,春江碧波漣漪上行船,船夫搖槳,有些閒錢的貴人在船上談笑飲酒。9Please respect copyright.PENANAZN173BO5RL
9Please respect copyright.PENANAceboiEGp6d
言曇岫知道自己太早回去,反而拂了人家好意,於是他刻意慢行,幾位花樓的伎子走過來,言曇岫在認出其中兩位後,便和她們閒話起來。9Please respect copyright.PENANAFWCBH8zqNz
9Please respect copyright.PENANAmEvVnMat8n
這樣明媚的景色,一定和黎絳洵很相襯吧。9Please respect copyright.PENANALa5BrxpI2T
9Please respect copyright.PENANARNkveZfqpR
也許黎絳洵很快會在這樣的春日,對著流動的江水,不避開波光粼粼,專心等待在片刻後將他臉上笑容點亮的美嬌娘。9Please respect copyright.PENANA4yO3pLziNI
9Please respect copyright.PENANA9gUSrfGkdy
一定,很快又要開始議親了吧。9Please respect copyright.PENANANujzu368qZ
9Please respect copyright.PENANAlU3iRuXWjw
言曇岫想得太專心,還要應對姑娘們的問題,以至於沒留意到其中一位簪著小碎花的年輕花娘朝他伸手,言曇岫被往後扯得踉蹌後,還沒反應過來,落花已經貼著他頰邊落下。9Please respect copyright.PENANAogQE796cob
9Please respect copyright.PENANAKWfgE0oID4
他回頭對上黎絳洵的面容,負暄的黎絳洵格外炫目,只是表情讓他看不明白。9Please respect copyright.PENANAwQYVUuyF5g
9Please respect copyright.PENANAP9FoAGvFEd
剛收回手的花娘怯怯地解釋自己只是想拿掉言曇岫髮上的花,言曇岫溫聲向她道謝後,在黎絳洵越來越強的握力中,匆匆向花娘們告辭。9Please respect copyright.PENANAm8lbkLMZ57
9Please respect copyright.PENANATgl20JyHlF
走了好一段路,才到人比較少的地方,言曇岫停下腳步,身旁是耀眼奪目的粼光,背後是令他眩惑的青年。9Please respect copyright.PENANAL7twV5PXpy
9Please respect copyright.PENANAkpdkt6N8uT
有很多疑問,只是不曉得哪個可以被問出來。9Please respect copyright.PENANA0mj3qrtRSH
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他看不透黎絳洵,而黎絳洵的行為也不似在對待言曇岫。9Please respect copyright.PENANAQWx0e0sfvq
9Please respect copyright.PENANAqPQSTWS0Rp
這樣的反復拉扯,究竟會僵持到什麼時候呢?9Please respect copyright.PENANAjW8BqUjFfx
9Please respect copyright.PENANAXqX3C8JoTs
「我怕,你已經不想聽我解釋;」好不容易下定決心先開口的黎絳洵頓了頓,「我想說的很多,可能你也很難理解我在說什麼。即便如此……」9Please respect copyright.PENANABe6rDp3R1m
9Please respect copyright.PENANAYq8tl06kRx
黎絳洵壓抑著繼續靠近言曇岫的衝動,閉上眼睛,在幾次刺耳的呼吸聲後,才接著說:「即便如此,我還是想努力最後一次。現在,已經太遲了嗎?」9Please respect copyright.PENANAIY6SOBZY5q
9Please respect copyright.PENANAghBHVybp1g
千百年般漫長的等待過去,言曇岫用音量沒大江流聲多少的嗓音說:「我不曉得,我該用什麼身分和你相處。一直以來,我追在你身後,以為自己多少也是了解你的,現在,我沒辦法確定了。」9Please respect copyright.PENANA5TZg3USUZp
9Please respect copyright.PENANAGQul6QJUqK
言曇岫搖頭,手仍舊被黎絳洵握在身後,他怕回頭,就無法繼續偽裝,接著問:「你……你希望我是誰?絳洵。」9Please respect copyright.PENANA9yrQ4c7J0J
9Please respect copyright.PENANAFAHzHF5Q9x
幾乎要令人窒息的漫長靜默過去,黎絳洵生生收回再靠近一步的衝動,望著言曇岫的背影說:「在回答之前,如果你能給我機會與時間,我想和你說我的過去,只有我自己知道的那些事情。要是……聽完以後,你不願意留下,我不會勉強。能再信我一次嗎?」9Please respect copyright.PENANA2QNSfEpCzO
9Please respect copyright.PENANAjHUJKmFR08
「你……你是明知道我無法拒絕你,依然這樣問的嗎?」9Please respect copyright.PENANAxORJhDmfaj
9Please respect copyright.PENANANq7MIPuJx4
「不是,我沒把握,很多事情,我只是看起來有信心,實際上我什麼也不確定。我不曉得要怎麼讓你在脫離恩情的情況下,重新看待我這個人;也不曉得,如果告訴你實話,你是不是會覺得我在把人當猴耍;不曉得……亦不曉得,我想對你表達的心意,你是否願意收下。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAgVePWOD61S
9Please respect copyright.PENANA7JZIULtIxw
言曇岫沒完全回頭,負暄的水波刺眼,也無法令他轉身面對黎絳洵,「無論你接下來說的是什麼,你能答應我一件事嗎?這次就是最後了,此後我們之間的關係不會再有改變,沒有模糊空間。」9Please respect copyright.PENANALk0ia2kCKI
9Please respect copyright.PENANAizOe8P9wkr
屏息以待的黎絳洵重新得回呼吸後答覆:「好。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAW0wd3lMYMi
9Please respect copyright.PENANAfzOE31wGAK
他們走了很長一段路,花朝節的人潮讓茶肆與酒樓之類可以休息的店家都沒了空位,言曇岫走在前面,黎絳洵走在後面,和過往完全不同,而且,此刻他們都不願意回府中。9Please respect copyright.PENANAN0SkVzG0WF
9Please respect copyright.PENANASZGa6YO18H
最後言曇岫停在空蕩蕩的廟埕,語氣平靜地說:「今天應該找不到其他地方談,在這裡可以嗎?」9Please respect copyright.PENANANj3BpY33UK
9Please respect copyright.PENANAIHy5e0oxWM
黎絳洵攢緊掌心,說:「好。」9Please respect copyright.PENANAAi6g98SjGV
9Please respect copyright.PENANAvcPlcoWJp6
儘管萬般不願,最後也只能先坐在廟前的台階休憩。9Please respect copyright.PENANAvbRrJkOX3c
9Please respect copyright.PENANA3lcknVKv80
相較於其他地方摩頂放踵、人聲嘈雜,這裡靜得彷彿連空氣也不會流動,只有燃香的氣味慢慢沁過來。9Please respect copyright.PENANAcauNGleJ4P
9Please respect copyright.PENANAZB2eHrKXuZ
黎絳洵將壓在胸口的氣用力呼出,終於開口說:「我接下來要說的事情,連我也無法解釋,原本我是打算帶進墳塋裡的,因為說了,不會有人相信,只會認為我把夢境跟現實弄混、或是產生了幻覺……」9Please respect copyright.PENANAXmAZk75Nsf
9Please respect copyright.PENANAPbNAQrGsu1
宛如垂暮之人的疲憊語氣悠悠而出,黎絳洵從幼時自己受盡萬般寵愛、行事日漸荒唐開始說起。9Please respect copyright.PENANAFAcamYV0Yl
9Please respect copyright.PENANAWJfQqI7qgd
紈褲子弟向來沒有真誠相待的朋友,當官的黎父獲罪下獄、黎母奔走憔悴,黎絳洵卻全然沒有挽回頹勢的方法,最終曾經擁有的美好都失去了,徒留他一人於世,生如幽魂。9Please respect copyright.PENANAoKEjeQNRkg
9Please respect copyright.PENANA21nv4KyJ9K
在一日暴雨降世中,與黎絳洵有婚約的言府來了人,他與言府並無個人私交,也早已體會世情炎涼,然而來人卻並非來退婚,反而央著他履行婚約,早已無意義的婚約,在未婚妻強烈要求下,黎絳洵抱持著什麼都無所謂了的心態,與未婚妻成婚。9Please respect copyright.PENANAo6HYObylAh
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婚後妻子耗費幾多心力,耐心學習世家小姐不曾碰過的柴米油鹽之事,操持家務之餘,也對待黎絳洵極為貼心,逐漸讓黎絳洵也無法再對妻子置之不理,春冰漸融,他們彼此扶持,走過為黎家平反的漫長荊棘,幾度寒暑,以為終於守得雲開見月明,妻子卻因為過度操勞與幼時遭虐,重病不起,最終身銷魂殞。9Please respect copyright.PENANA10YJSl7cOO
9Please respect copyright.PENANAKsYTBccR63
黎絳洵最後與妻子的失身一同墜入山崖,再醒來,已身處尚未面臨一連串禍事的黎府。9Please respect copyright.PENANAZyMbvkiwI9
9Please respect copyright.PENANAMoBsJDyCCG
寧可信其有,不可信其無。黎絳洵照著似真似假的記憶,選了截然不同的路,黎家也偏離了破敗凋零的結局。本以為提前將未婚妻接至黎家庇蔭,便可免於遺憾,然而未婚妻言曇橋的個性,在他人口中,與前世未有一絲相仿,於是黎絳洵自己去確認了,言曇橋與前世的妻子,並非同一人。9Please respect copyright.PENANAt6aeHKm7v4
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「──而那日,我也第一次見到你,你和我妻子綉綉長得一模一樣,因此我遣人多方打探、找尋妻子時,亦留意你的事情,再來的事情,你都知道了。我沒有找到妻子,而你身上卻有和綉綉相同的傷疤,我才意識到另一個可能,和她過去經歷幾乎完全重合的你,很可能就是我要找的人。」9Please respect copyright.PENANA1KAI9PDqNB
9Please respect copyright.PENANA3pI4zPjmKT
言曇岫沉默很久,昏鴉飛過天際,月亮已能看見,他說:「我很混亂。」並站起身。9Please respect copyright.PENANA5vZCURmxCp
9Please respect copyright.PENANAQJ27IENr99
黎絳洵跟著站起來,「嗯。」了聲。9Please respect copyright.PENANAJc8GMcx7VI
9Please respect copyright.PENANA9ozwKYOsC1
「有很多需要消化的事,」言曇岫緩緩閉上眼,試圖理出頭緒,再睜眼時他說:「對我而言真正重要的,其實你並沒有提到。你說的如果是真實發生的,不,對你而言那的確是真實,所以你一直在找那個用言小姐的名義和你成親的人。你很愛她,可是你沒有說,那你喜歡我嗎?」9Please respect copyright.PENANAdDBRnil9fS
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「我自……」9Please respect copyright.PENANAGAxnAkGIgd
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言曇岫罕見地打斷了黎絳洵的話:「你先聽我說完。你說我可能是她,可如果我不是,之後會如何?你說的這些,只是解釋你是什麼樣的人,經歷了什麼樣的事,然而你沒有說,你拒絕我後,現在又因為我可能是你在找的人,所以想留我,」他搖了搖頭。9Please respect copyright.PENANAd41P05dura
9Please respect copyright.PENANAxVAX2AHKQD
「萬一我不是,你找到了她後,我會如何?你也沒有說,在沒有這件事的前提下,你對我的感情,是不是和我相同。」言曇岫彷彿失去原本撐持身體的力氣,輕聲說:「我不在意你經歷過什麼,是非功過,我的感情不變,而你不同。既然如此,你希望我怎麼選?是每天擔心焦慮,怕我有哪裡和她不一樣,還是祝福你,希望你早日找到夢中佳人?」9Please respect copyright.PENANAVwkC4G39hL
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