x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBm7Sud4asZ
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3xFXZe3cg
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXBPOfYANL
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFaQQnIUag
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCe4VAW1CVe
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbsY9a1p6O
Really talking.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPuFPBoNbN
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9acPPH9vf
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtXzCJol8V
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gyk5vb6a6
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWILnwjxrwK
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92Ap9OFPWA
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DcBVnSVfp
Or39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysd2BQT6pK
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNZZCMxpjZ
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2H7PMsaIiX
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NrncakxiB
I typed.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJdfYk5Kqg
Deleted.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87U1TmlHH2
Typed again.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGmWERos2i
Deleted.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5pNhcwOCT
Typed again.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8aSFdzyrt
Deleted.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46PUaJfclD
Typed again.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5UfB0MKuG
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAccb3yAtTw
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqAr5Vd3Mh
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKkPpYA7wB
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5De90r5Tf1
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqqO8lokDm
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevvUgNloGq
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZujsqkYigU
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85u0lBwacr
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVckK6qrxP
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrCLnpMlqE
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDxua5Ngc7
“I love pizza.”39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPbNV3mLNb
“I love that show.”39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfuSYzoNbu
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kwcbAB5Aa
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcy8ntEocHu
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuq65dJBkE
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOOolBb9xh
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoxnddUg0h
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0DTqrz6qG
Maybe love is giving without expecting.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpUgNGk3IP
Hoping without demanding.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOaM3XzQh9
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkxEjQPGx6
then what does that make me?
A gambler?39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lwjyLEgJc
A poet with no ink?39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBuIDW1FkV
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2igHhamirz
It doesn’t ask for returns.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JKDClaHPH
It just… is.
Like the moon.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4W6RSSk5e
Distant. Cold sometimes.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwTdtBhn3Y
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBTUZb0loL
One that felt like surrender.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvsx8yXgtl
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Aqb0Ewcss
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtn2gQ2zYk3
Not because I wanted to.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKYWhF09SI
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcK3ndNUBHi
let the poet in me die trying,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJD0QXcZZj
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuoKvUtGyP
time won't change the answer,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWl6XfqgGQw
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6z9oBtuZP
I want her to smile when she sees my name.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Amhmb02DH
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEvo99p9Cm
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBWyHd9To9
But I can be someone good.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6gyDZHyY1
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7rMnwh4gv
"Sure, of course."39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0A1UGuZFc
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjqi4npc5C
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hjWB2B5KT
but it still matters.
The night grew older.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5NM6dun4p
The conversation faded into a simple:39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhjgfP4LK2
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsI29s7Yka
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwErfMSCCX
Ceiling fan humming.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSCxgcTG3d
Eyes open.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3Dt0Esej9
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JvIKwkASX
The silence turned into a lullaby.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRmkxx35Ll
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRUsN1Wlxz
not even of love,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8TdkOklqe
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj49khDy1uc
No moon. No wind.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkdZ9FStFA
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeGpyfRcgH
“Do you think love makes you whole?39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypGHFUDoEJ
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMcs1L17cl
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jfMqsOjoi
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJndVpvbx6z
A reason.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡty9thayOZI
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDGPFb8WU7
a feeling.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLA9MUAvHi
A choice.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpcvAoVfSH
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROTrU8omrX
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9WANMhtOp
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvg0R1UQ6nH
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxq7UI5EaU
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...39Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOUCu7hykE
peace.
