x
You know that moment when the night’s too quiet…26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJPwL3foK5
and your phone screen glows a little brighter than usual?
That was me.
Lying on my bed, earphones in but no music playing,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXb7OqYSwu
just the hum of the fan — louder than usual tonight —26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOfJjfzRon
and her last message on the screen.
It wasn’t anything romantic.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrC6ewb8wu
Not a heart, not a wink, not even a punctuation mark that hinted at something.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUPMI1OONx
Just words. Casual, comfortable. But from her.
And I just stared at them, like they were the final piece of a puzzle I wasn’t supposed to complete.
We were talking.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtr1oNh2EU3
Really talking.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GhlPWiBcw
No layers, no sarcasm, no anime metaphors to hide behind…
But it felt real.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYyOU7ts7S
The kind of real that makes you nervous — not because something’s wrong,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2fl6CZ9wN
but because it’s too good. Too close.
And I began to wonder:
How much can you talk to someone before you say something you shouldn’t?
Before a joke turns into a confession,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrFpDnvmZ3
a casual text becomes a late-night heart spill,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlAnSFlUze
and silence feels heavier than words?
How much longer can we keep it buried?
I could feel it bubbling up.
The things I wasn’t supposed to say.
Like,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJuAnk8Yx0
"I’ve been trying to get your attention since that first day."26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojaOEnerCK
Or26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NJJsAESpg
"When you walk into a room, I pretend I didn’t see you first, but I always do."
Or the most dangerous of them all:26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQs4xsfMiU
"You called me 'bro' earlier... did you mean that like 'brother,' or more like... awkward placeholder for someone you don’t know how to place yet?"
But I didn’t send any of that.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcL5ZVyScys
Instead, I did what most cowards do when their heart starts to overthink:26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcQbVQvhNR
I typed.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZkCa9o2Fb
Deleted.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQQUtQXIiL
Typed again.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVXkq82szX
Deleted.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfW4Ox6DTMv
Typed again.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3sBZJwS54h
Deleted.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rVt05bQuo
Typed again.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL27p8ahRZ9
Paused.
And somewhere between all that hesitation, I asked myself something even worse:
If I truly like someone… can I ask them to like me back?
And isn't that just the most foolish question in the world?
What gives me the right to expect love just because I give it?26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmcLYwxm32
Does loving someone mean they owe me something?26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaL57AFB2JI
A reply? A smile? A place in their life?
No, right?
Because love… love’s not a job interview.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRYO7ecL3Z
You don’t apply and wait for a callback.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFMpPd6Ykd
There’s no resume, no credentials, no guaranteed outcome.
You just feel.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM67dEwjqTi
And hope.
But here’s the brutal truth:26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjfFsj7ALr
Hope is not a strategy.
I began to spiral.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVLE0EfweW
Thinking about arranged marriages, random unions born out of astrology and surnames.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo50cSCBMk4
People saying "yes" to strangers in mandaps because their families believed it was enough.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHsXIpA6jx
And somehow, somehow, love blooms there too.
Is it just the absence of fear?26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMELIbSZn6
Is it a choice? A decision made over and over again, like brushing your teeth or choosing peace over pride?
Or is it just a lucky accident?
So then what is love?
Love.
Four letters. Infinite confusion.
We throw it around so casually—26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeh82t4GhX
“I love pizza.”26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1amt6BlNyn
“I love that show.”26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoX23Z67zPi
“I love her.”
when the night’s too quiet and your heart's louder than it should be,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB28V9UF263
you start to ask…
What even is love?
Is it the late-night texts that make you smile like an idiot?26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6dNVK9AzN
Or the effort to learn C just to help someone who might not even know your name?26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMnYEXCqzK
Is it being seen, truly seen—not for how smart or funny or helpful you are—but for just being you?
Because I wasn’t sure anymore.
If love means trying to be enough for someone... is that love?26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVA2DX3Uxgi
If love means hiding your feelings just to stay close... is that love?26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ceTt3XnEy
If love never gets returned, was it ever real?
Or maybe love isn’t about return policies at all.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLMzPiJxam
Maybe love is giving without expecting.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YkEV07HM3
Hoping without demanding.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuRbxXB9rn
Staying, even if the door never opens.
And if it’s the latter — if love is just dumb luck —26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOhKL0Af0n
then what does that make me?
A gambler?26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsG1FlKDJkp
A poet with no ink?26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nnfGDyQw9
A fool tossing feelings into a wishing well that’s been dry for years?
All I know is this:
Love, the real kind, the scary kind — it doesn’t demand.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrKVKqtWvc
It doesn’t ask for returns.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdXwsUtUp7
It just… is.
Like the moon.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLaBzIooLO
Distant. Cold sometimes.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuy8YAXVjn
But still shining. Still pulling tides.
So I made a decision.
One I thought I’d regret.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3kcU5KVpM
One that felt like surrender.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLg4Bn6tQIc
But maybe it was the only honest thing left.
I typed:26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGF6VPFZi4t
"Let’s be friends."
And I meant it.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgZmmex1KY
Not because I wanted to.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaoVldiEdQ
But because I had to.
Because I know — deep down — even if I poured out every syllable of my soul,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSPAwJGvFz
let the poet in me die trying,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcZhYc7KaM
the answer would still be silence, or worse… pity.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV1uJXyyUE
time won't change the answer,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4YjjuLSl7
in this moment or in the future.
And I don’t want pity.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlp8sifuBaW
I want her to smile when she sees my name.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qWe2q5Est
Even if it’s only ever as a friend.
So yeah, laugh all you want.
But that was my truth:26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DUpytcVEh
Maybe I’ll never be someone important in her life.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeL6fzaU4l
But I can be someone good.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNxweUaFvH
Steady. Loyal. Low-maintenance. Someone she doesn’t have to second guess.
Hopeless romantic?
Guilty.
But hopeless doesn’t mean worthless.
So when she replied:26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1O0GjLu5V
"Sure, of course."26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Gf4itEvL5
I smiled.
Because that’s more than most people get.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4EWz92MvR
And sometimes, friendship is the love story that doesn’t get written into poetry —26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuSE4WWKAW
but it still matters.
The night grew older.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXzzkgQcnU
The conversation faded into a simple:26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeqbImk3kn
“Goodnight.”
And I lay there.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKSbTYMhWi
Phone resting like a heartbeat on my chest.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbayxv0NvQ
Ceiling fan humming.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpmiKtNlqT
Eyes open.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbjP4THce3
Thoughts louder than sleep.
But slowly, everything softened.
The fan blurred into background.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruZrtUU72n
The silence turned into a lullaby.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Eev8VP0kN
And Nova... drifted.
Not into a dream of her,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyxZQ0xZhd
not even of love,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevxc5sZlC4
but something stranger.
He stood at the edge of a nameless rooftop, under a starless sky.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxiLletgB3
No moon. No wind.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnryJi7OQg
Just an ocean of lights flickering below — like forgotten wishes.
A voice — his own, but older — whispered beside him:26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMXvZJ2lGN
“Do you think love makes you whole?26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uJBOHgXX9
Or does it just reveal the parts you’ve been missing?”
Nova didn’t answer.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvykXXzdiST
He couldn’t.
Because in that dream,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xCpTzjhgM
he wasn’t searching for love anymore.
He was searching for something deeper.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWTvJBw1Ff
A reason.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfD5yShh8Qs
A pause in the chaos that made it all make sense.
But life doesn’t hand you clarity like that.
Sometimes it just gives you26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fm36uCu24
a feeling.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMtLQZtS23
A choice.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KBS5bz7cl
And the hope that in some parallel version of now,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97IXinLJFy
you say the thing you never said —
and someone stays.
But in this world, in this moment?
Nova slept.
A little sad.26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM14umWMQy9
A little wiser.
And somewhere between the real and the not-quite-real,26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8itwshWMg5
he whispered one last thing to the darkness:
“If love is a question no one knows how to answer...26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VF387CMrG
maybe I’ll spend my life learning how to ask it better.”
Then darkness.
And for once...26Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlW3cw7BiTi
peace.
