Meanwhile, The silence that only I could hear within, a thought lingered in my mind—there are a little under four years left before life swallows us whole. Just four years before we’re pushed into the real world, where everything changes and nothing waits. I wanted to make the most of it, not by partying or trying to impress people, but by finding those rare few with whom I could share everything—the deepest fears, the silliest dreams, and the small everyday victories that no one else seems to care about.
If someone ever came to me asking for advice on college life, I’d tell them to meet people, talk to everyone, make memories. But if I’m honest... I’m not like that. I’ve always been different. I can go for weeks, even months, without initiating a conversation. It’s not that I hate people. It’s just how I grew up—quiet, a little distant, and perhaps a bit lazy. Habits, I suppose. I didn’t want drama in these four years, just a small circle. A few people were enough for me. Simon, Seren... that’s all I really needed. And the fact that we three were anime fans? That was destiny doing a little fan service for me.
In between all this, a senior named Chadhini from my bus introduced me to some of her friends. Surprisingly, I became friends with them too. Seniors are just built different. The girls, even when I say or do something dumb, only smile and treat me like a little brother still learning to walk. And the boys? It’s either war or brotherhood. Wherever I go, I somehow attract them… and sometimes, that meant fights.
I still remember back in inter, I accidentally bumped into a senior at college. I said sorry, but apparently, that wasn’t enough. He looked at me and said, “That’s all?” The rest... well, the rest is history. That was the second time I got expelled for getting into a fight with seniors. So yeah, I try to avoid seniors when I can. But once in a while, I meet the kind ones—rare species.
The next day, we started talking daily, but I honestly didn’t know what to say other than anime or books. Oh! I haven’t told you this yet, have I? I’m a hardcore Free Fire gamer. There isn’t a player in my village who doesn’t know me. That’s how seriously I took it. There are times where I’ve played for 48 hours straight—no kidding. And yeah, that’s probably why I randomly doze off in the middle of the day.
Now would be the perfect time to introduce you to my partner in crime—my gaming brother, Sanjay. I call him Sanjuu. I don’t know why, but everyone I’m close to ends up with a name ending in "u" or “uu”... like Pottiluu. It’s funny, I know, but it’s just one of the quirks that make me, well, me.
I’m probably the busiest lazy guy you’ll ever meet. Assignment due tomorrow? Do I have it done? No. Will I do it tonight? Also no. But weirdly, I’ve got it all figured out. I only enjoy doing math assignments, anyway. Solving problems feels like hunting for treasure hidden in plain sight.
There’s a lot more to me than what meets the eye, but I think that’s enough self-exposure for now.
As the days passed, conversations with Seren continued, slowly becoming part of my daily rhythm. Something strange was happening—people started getting curious about me or what they call him as "the shadow". At our Thub sessions, I usually sat beside Simon. He was part of Ignited Coders too, just like me. Some people were beginning to figure out who I was. I’d hear whispers—“Is he the one behind the messages?” “That’s him, right?”
There were three guys—Andrew, Krish, and Ren—who usually sat at the first bench. One day, as I sat behind them on the second bench, I heard them talking about “the shadow.” Who helped others in the group chat. I couldn’t resist. I leaned forward dramatically and made a grand entrance into their conversation. It was like something out of a shounen anime. I joined them, and we started discussing tech, coding, and everything in between. Just like that, I had more people in my circle.
Then came our first coding contest. I was hyped. I gave it my all. And yet, I lost to someone who used underhanded methods. That hit hard—not just because I lost, but because it reminded me of how unfair life could be. The world doesn’t always reward effort. It rewards results. Whether you earned it or cheated to get it, results are what people see.
But then I thought—why should the result be everything? What about the journey? When will people realize that it’s the journey that matters more than the destination? We may reach our goals or fall short, but the struggle, the moments of doubt, the small wins along the way—that’s where life actually happens. One man once said, “I’d rather burn trying than surrender.” I think I understand what he meant now.
Soon, the midterm exams were upon us. Labs were ongoing, the syllabus was being crammed, and everyone was rushing. It was chaotic. But I had someone to vent to—someone who’d listen. Seren. She was an academic weapon—sharp, focused. Meanwhile, I was trying to find time to nap between lectures.
Let’s be real. Midterms are just a speed bump. You stress about them, and then they’re over in a blink, leaving you wondering why you even cared so much. After they ended, I slipped back into my usual rhythm of taking things lightly. I realized something during my second coding contest: there’s an exception to everything. Even love. Even reason. You just need to find the most twisted connection and back it up with all you’ve got.
And that’s when I decided... maybe it’s time to change something. Just for a while. For a better future.
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