Do you think that your neighborhood has converted to Freemasons? Or are you in a Zombie infested city and need a few pointers? Or is the Purge happening and you want to know how to survive? Or are you wondering how to keep an average nuclear family afloat in a Vampire apocalypse? This book will tell you how to survive these situations, and more!

Grover(The Muppet) and the Doomslayer save the world.

Just an average day in Chicago.

this is just a place to dump all my thoughts inside.

Once upon a time, there was a man. His name was Ruggard, and he had never had chicken before. He lived in a tiny hut in the woods, and he was friends with Borth the Bear and Voart the orc. They lived here for countless generations, watching the world go by, and enjoying simple pleasures. Voart was cooking chicken (he loves to cook) one night, and Ruggard came by to chat. He sat down by the fire that Voart was cooking his chicken on, and for a few minutes, stared at him in awe. He had never seen cooked chicken before, and he said "What oddity are you burning on your fire?"., and to that Voart replied "Chicken. Don't you know what chicken is?". Raggard stumbled back, awe-struck by the concept of chicken. "What in the name of Melkor is that!" Voart was so surprised that this man had lived a life without the concept of chicken, he tore his tusk out. Shock went across Ruggard's face as he saw his friend tear off his tusk, and said "Perhaps I have caught you at a bad time. I will see you tomorrow." With that, Ruggard headed back to his hut. Voart sat there after his friend's departure, thinking "Wow, he really hasn't had chicken. What a sad life." He looked down at the tusk in his hand, his tusk, and sat still for a moment, blood gushing from his wound in his mouth. He stood up after a good while and grabbed a book from a backpack that he brought. The book said COOKBOOK OF ALAK-MALK on the cover, and had one eye right in the middle. He tossed aside the tusk in his hand, and opened the book. Inside was different recipes, like Hogmouth Soup, Fireflies, and Galypes, but that was not what he was looking for. He landed on a page that said Best Chicken Ever. He smiled and thought "I will make this for him, and he will understand the brilliance of chicken.". He went to his hut and went to sleep, knowing a long day would follow. As Ruggard began the walk back to his hut, he thought "What is chicken?!". As he continued to walk, he looked around, seeking comfort from the familiarity of the forest he resided in. When he returned to his hut, he tried to fall asleep, but he was too confused. He stayed awake the rest of the night, wondering about the physics of chicken.

He is the most Irish man on the planet.