Request: Dean x Reader. The reader is hunting with Sam and Dean, and she is constantly getting annoyed at every single thing that Dean does. And she always acts very bad with Dean this making dean think that she hates him. And that makes me very sad because he has feelings for her but when Dean saves her sacrificing himself from hunting gone wrong. She starts to develop feelings for him.
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Warnings: Angst, Reader is a bit of an asshole, language, a little bit of fluff, Implied alcohol abuse, SPN level violence. I think that’s it.
Word Count: 23008Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkhOPreK95
8Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJDL6LK9ML
You had been hunting with the Winchester now for six months, and man it had been a long six months.
You were used to hunting alone and having to hunt with people, two people to be exact, was an adjustment for you that you weren’t exactly handling all that well.
It wasn’t exactly in your nature to have to look out for two other people around you. You didn’t know how to handle the fact that there were two other possible casualties beside yourself, and it made you on edge, to say the least.
Sam keeps telling you that you will get used to it, that after a while it would become second nature, and it’s just something you would adjust to, and once it does being alone would be strange for you. You on the other hand weren’t so sure.
Sam, you probably could get along with. He wasn’t as… well…clingy.
Your problem seemed to be with Dean.
He was dominant, he was controlling, and he always acted like his idea was the best idea. He was always trying to run around acting like the Alpha male or something.
It got under your skin, you had been hunting just as long as Dean, you knew how to survive without him, and for some reason, he just treated you so fragile, at first anyway.
After about three hunts he figured out quickly that you knew what you were doing, and back down.
Some anyways.
Then it was the constant following you around, sitting next to you, wanting to always talk to you, well trying to talk to you anyway, Dean never was very good at holding a conversation with anyone, so usually, he just stands there staring at you, which honestly you found a little weird.
You didn’t like being close to people, because if you got close to people you always ended up having them ripped away from you. So it wasn’t like it was second nature to just sit and hold a conversation with someone.
Thankfully he’d finally stopped following you around like when you jumped down his throat one night after a hunt. He was trying to hover over you, wanting to help you stitch up a small cut on your arm, you were tired, and just at the end of your rope.
Maybe you shouldn’t have lost it like that with him, but at the time, you just couldn’t stand the clingy behavior anymore, and just wanted to be alone.
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“Sweetheart, let me do that, please? I’ll get it cleaned out, and stitched up if you will just let me help you.” Dean pleaded, his voice soft and honestly, it made you feel things that you didn’t want to deal with.
“No Dean, I’ve got it. Go get some food or something,“ you mumbled, trying to ignore him.
Dean knelt down in front of you, placing his hand lightly on your knee, you stopped what you were doing, giving him a death glare.
"Get your hands off of me, Dean,” you warned, not sure what he was doing, but you were ready to take him out if you needed to. You didn’t like how he was always so touchy with you, because that was just you, always expecting the worse, and always on the defense.
“I just want to help.”
“I DON’T WANT YOUR FUCKING HELP, DEAN!!!"
Dean shot back like he’d been slapped in the face. Literally landing on his ass.
"I don’t need you, want you, or anything else that involves you! I’m not some damsel in distress that you need to save! I’m not Sam! I can take damn care of myself, and I don’t need you to do anything for me, or because of me! For weeks now you’ve been stuck under my ass, and it’s getting on my goddamn nerves, so back the fuck off!”
Dean sat there on the floor at the foot of one of the beds in the dingy motel room, looking at you like you’d just kicked his puppy. Getting up slowly he said nothing, just grabbed the keys to Baby, avoiding making eye contact with you, and leaving you to your work.
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That was the last time Dean Winchester ever spoke to you, and that was two weeks ago.
From then on if he needed something he sent Sam to ask you for it, or to check on you. He bought himself a separate motel room when you had to stay overnight in a town for more than one day. He wouldn’t even look directly at you, at least not while you were looking at him.
He did what you asked him to do, left you alone.
It bothered you, but you couldn’t put your finger on why.
You did notice him drinking a lot more than he usually did, but hell, you all drank in this job. Getting drunk enough to go to bed at night, and hold the nightmares at bay was just part of the job description.
He became more and more distant from you as time went on, which brings you to where you are right now.
In the middle of an old abandoned house, walking up the stairs, an angle blade, and a flashlight in front of you, with Dean about three paces behind you, walking backward, and looking down the stairs.
You both knew that the demon had been taking small children, and you were both pretty sure that he was trying to either make some kind of new demon army spawned in the local town’s people’s children, or he was a really sick fuck. Either way, he needed to die.
When you made your way to the top of the landing you turned the knob on the door slowly, opening the room up at the top of the stairs. It was dark, damp, and seemingly empty. You Look behind you at Dean to see if he saw anything from his angle. Just as you turn to look at him, Dean’s eyes widen, and you feel the air shift behind you.
Before you had time to even turn to see the damn thing face to face Dean was already pushing you against the sidewall, throwing himself in front of you, just as the demon threw the angle blade in his hand, impaling it into Dean’s stomach.
Before you could even react Sam rounded the corner with Ruby’s knife, stabbing the damn thing in the neck, effectively killing it as its body flashed and fell to the floor.
You turned and made your way over to Dean, who was now laying on his back, a blank look threatening to cross over his face, the angel blade laying on the ground next to him that he’d obviously pulled out of his own body.
“DEAN!” you yelled, slapping the side of his face, attempting to keep him awake, your hand pressed over the profusely bleeding wound in his stomach as his piercing green eyes searched for you through the darkness that threatened to try and overtake him.
“Y/N?” he asks weakly before reaching out to you, finding the side of your face, tears streaming down it now that you didn’t even notice, grabbing the hand he had stretched out to you. His skin was pale against yours, you vaguely hear Sam yell for Cas, but nothing really registered aside from the fact that you were about to lose Dean.
Your mind was mush as you looked down into the eyes you never really allowed yourself to look into before.
You realized now how stupid you were. All this time you refused to see what was right in front of you. You pushed him away, and all he was trying to do was show you how much he truly cared about you.
“Dean, you stupid jackass why didn’t you just let it kill me?” you ask, putting your hand on the side of his face, and with the last little bit of strength he seemed to have in his body he leaned down into your hand.
“Because I couldn’t watch the woman I’m in love with die, even if she does hate me," Dean said, one big tear rolling down the side of his face. Fighting to keep his eyes open he looked at your shocked expression.
Something inside of you always knew, but for some reason your own fears and insecurities made you push him away, and now you were standing here wondering if it was too late.
"Dean, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see what was right in front of me,” you mumble to him through your own tears.
Dean’s eyes were being too close, and his skin became paler, he was losing the fight to stay conscious as Sam desperately tried to contact Cas.
“Dean wakes up!!” you screamed, slapping him in the face a little harder as he struggled to look at you.
“You don’t get to tell me you love me, and then just lay down and die!”
With that, a flutter of wings sounded behind you, and two long fingers pressed down on Dean’s forehead, a blinding light appeared throughout the room.
For a moment you all thought Cas was too late until Dean’s eyes fluttered open with a deep breath.
Wrapping your arms around him as he set up on the floor you held him to you as close to you as you could, tears flowing freely now down your face as relief washed over you, you almost lost what you so stupidly pushed away, but you were never going to do that again; from now on you were going to let him in.
No one had ever given their life for you before, and you had a lot of making up to do with Dean.
You’d hurt him, you see that now, and you were determined never to do it again. You were wrong, and you almost let the best thing that ever happened to you die. One of the things you wanted the most but were too scared to let him in. It was right in front of you, it always was. Yet you almost lost it out of your own bitterness, and stupidity.
“I’m so sorry, Dean,” you whispered to him as you clung to each other as if either let the other go, then you’d both lose everything.
“Y/N it's okay, I’m stubborn too,” Dean said before a clearing of a throat behind you made you both break apart, and look up at each other.
“So, can we kill the chick flick moment, and get our asses out of here before we get caught?” Sam said, looking around you saw that Cas was already gone, leaving just the three of you.
Dean stood to his feet, still a little wobbly, but otherwise fine. You wrapped your arm around his waist to help steady him as you both made your way to Baby.
It was a quiet ride back to the motel room, and you brought Dean to your room instead of his own so that you could keep an eye on him. You didn’t want him to be away from you, now that you almost lost him you didn’t want to let him get out of eyesight.
Once you were both cleaned up and changed Dean laid down on the bed next to you, and for the first time you laid your head down on his shoulder, and let him wrap his arms around, pulling you tightly to him.
“So does this mean you don’t hate me now?” Dean asks carefully, afraid that he’d mess things up for himself again.
You looked up into the olive green eyes that you were very quickly falling in love with, or maybe you always had been, but you just wouldn’t let yourself feel it.
“I don’t hate you, Dean, I never have, I was just too afraid to let you get too close. This life that we live, it’s not really built for relationships, and everyone I’ve ever let gets close I’ve lost.”
Dean looked at you knowingly. He’d lost a lot too, and you never really let yourself see how it affected him, selfishly you were only worried about yourself.
“Sweetheart, there’s a high chance one of us may die tomorrow, but we can’t be afraid to get close to people just because we’re scared to lose them. I’ve lost just about everyone I’ve ever loved, but I love you, I have since the moment I met you, and I will as long as I’m breathing.”
You swallowed hard, trying to think of what to say.
“I love you too Dean, but I’m going to need time to get used to this, whatever it is that we are."
Dean pressed his lips lightly to yours for the first time in a soft, gentle kiss that spread warmth through you as you’d never felt before, and peace washes over you for the first time in years.
"We’ll take it one day at a time, there’s no rush,” he said to you as he pulled the covers tighter around the two of you, exhaustion of the day getting the better of the both of you.
You didn’t know what tomorrow will bring, you may get him ripped away from you before the sun comes up, but he was right about one thing, you could take it one day at a time, for as long as you had. Even though it wouldn’t be easy, it would be worth it.
You loved each other, and he’d already proven that he’d die for you, so you weren’t going to be an idiot and let him slip away. This was it, this was where you were meant to be, right here in his arms. This was the home you were looking for, and it was always right there in front of you.
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