Summary: Actions speak louder than words. Especially when those actions tend to hurt the ones we love but are scared to admit it aloud.
Warnings: Smut, unprotected smut, angst, Dean is a big of an ass in this, language, curses, heartache, pining. I think that’s about it.
Rating: E
Word Count: 4241 (Whoops)
Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiIk7wMw0o
Square Field: Fuck or Die
Square Field: Witch9Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRuAaaaoJW
“Y/N! Come on! If we’re going to get home before sundown we need to get our asses in gear!” Dean’s voice echoed through the shitty hotel room you were sitting in as he marched past you with his duffle bag on his shoulders and his hair still wet from his shower a moment ago. The scent of his body wash wafted behind him and fell over you like a cruel rain that you just couldn’t escape.
“Coming,” you sigh, getting to your feet and following the Winchester’s towering form outside where Baby was waiting in all her gleaming glory to take you all back to the bunker.
It had been a very long hunt. One that had involved witches, and my god you hated witches. In fact, the only witch you had even remotely liked was Rowena, and even she took some growing on you before you could warm up to the redhead. After all, she did try and kill the man who unknowingly healed your heart on more than one occasion.
Sam offered you a tired smile as you climbed into the backseat and Dean pulled away from the curb, aiming for home as fast as the Kansas roads would allow.
At first, you had hung around for a while before heading home because you all thought Dean had been hit with a curse before he successfully landed a witch-killing bullet between her eyes. Hours later he seemed to be fine, so you had decided home was the place to go. If anything did crop up later on in the night you could handle it from there.
Overall the hunt was a successful one. Aside from the “almost curse” anyway. Did it go…almost old school? Sam was reading the morning paper, came across a case of missing persons that he thought might be worth looking into. All the victims were men, all in their early 40’s, and all of them seemed to be very lucid with the ladies.
Turns out a witch had been dating a local guy in town who couldn’t seem to keep it in his pants. Once she found him at the bar with the local bartender, well, she decided to kill him, and all other men in the town.
Yeah, the witch had gone overboard. Yeah, no one needs to kill people for the sake of being pissed or jaded the way the witch was doing, but you could almost understand in a way. She really loved that guy, and he tore her heart out by falling into bed with another woman.
Dean had done that to you over and over again throughout the years. It was always the same. After every hunt, you would dress yourself up in the best clothes you had, and head out to the bar with the Winchester brothers to celebrate another successful big bad going down. You’d pulled out all the stops for him. You did your makeup, hair, everything, and still, Dean would find someone else to warm his bed; even if you were sitting right there next to him at the bar the whole time, he was flirting with another female.
“You know what, it’s still kinda early,” Dean announces suddenly as you pass the Lebanon City Limits sign. “And man I feel antsy. Maybe I need to let off some steam. Whatcha say we stop at the bar and have a few celebratory drinks before we head back to the bunker?”
Sam’s eyes shoot to you in the backseat, and you do your best to hide the nauseous in your stomach every time Dean mentions going out.
“Dean, I think Y/N’s tired, maybe we can skip the bar tonight and just celebrate at the bunker?” Sam suggested, but it fell on deaf ears as usual.
“Aw come on Y/N’s fine! Right Y/N/N?” Dean said. His green eyes haunted your every move, even in the seat. They had taken Sam’s place to stare at you in the rearview mirror.
You could have sworn you saw a little blue hue appear in his eyes, but it was so brief you were pretty sure you were just seeing things, so you brush it off. Maybe you needed a drink to help you sleep when you get home and settle your nerves.
“No, I’ll be fine, let’s go. I could use a drink,” you say, attempting to keep your voice from shaking and swallow around the knot that was in your throat from thinking about Dean hitting on every girl in the damn bar as soon as you all walk into the door.
“Attagirl!” Dean praises as he turns into the gravel parking lot, and puts Baby in the park before making his way towards the door before you or Sam could even shut the doors.
“Well, apparently somebody’s thirsty,” Sam says, joining you in walking towards the door where the loud, country music was blaring.
“Oh yeah, he’s thirsty alright,” you murmur, and if Sam heard you, he gave you the common courtesy of not responding, and you were grateful for that.
You were sure Sam had figured out by now that you had more feelings for his brother than you tried to let on, but he also wasn’t one to probe or intrude, so he left you be about it.
You and Sam had no sooner ordered two beers from the bar and took up residency at the back corner booth that the two of you frequent when you saw Dean taking a blonde to the back door that leads to the alleyway outside.
“Damn, that was fast, even for Dean,” Sam said, making eye contact with you as you tore your eyes away from Dean’s retreating back, and back to the younger Winchester.
Your stomach was in knots and your heart was in your throat, and all you could do was take a deep gulp of your beer and wish that it was something stronger.
“Yeah, well, he said he was antsy,” you reply when you could finally get your voice to work again.
Taking another swing of beer, your thoughts go back to the blue hew that seemed to show in Dean’s eyes when he had looked at you in the rearview mirror, but you brush it off. If he was cursed, surely him hooking up with a girl at a bar wasn’t a sign of it. He did that regularly.
As an hour wore on, and Dean made his way back behind the bar with a third girl of the evening, you were starting to second guess whether he had been cursed after all, and Sam was getting more and more suspicious as he watched him as well.
“You know, I could have sworn there was a bluish tint to his eyes when he looked at me in the rearview mirror on the way here. I thought it was just the lighting, but now…Sam I think Dean has been cursed.”
Sam took a deep breath and pulled his smartphone from his pocket. “I think you might be right. Three girls in less than an hour are impressive, even for Dean, and it’s not like he’s in his twenties anymore.”
After a quick phone call to Rowena, Sam recounted the tale of the witch’s activities and death, along with the incantation she was mumbling when Dean had shot her, and you could tell by the look on his face your suspicions were true.
“What did she say?” you asked as he disconnected the call, and downs the rest of his beer as Dean stumbled back into the bar, already eyeing up a girl that was playing pool as he ordered himself another drink.
“She’s said it’s the equivalent of an extreme lust spell. Basically, he goes into some sort of a lust-driven madness, and it will drive him mad enough that he kills himself just to get relief.”
“Same way those other guys died in town,” you finish for him, and he nods, running his hands through his hair harshly as he watches his brother sit down next to a brunette at the bar. She didn’t look interested, but Dean was apparently still going to give it a go since the pool girl threatened to hit him with the stick.
Apparently, you and Sam weren’t the only ones in the bar who had noticed his activities.
“He’s after anything that’s a woman, so go and see if you can get him to Baby with you. Rowena is on her way to the bunker and she will be there in an hour,” Sam said, standing to his feet to make his way towards Baby to wait for the two of you.
“Wait, Sam,” you grab his arm harshly, stopping him in his tracks. “You want me to make Dean think he and I are going to fuck, so that he will follow us home?”
Sam nodded with a sympathetic look on his face.
“I’m sorry, Y/N, I just don’t see how we will get him out of here any other way.”
“And what if he doesn’t want me? Hell, he was already under the fucking spell when we pulled in here Sam! He’d rather go to the bar than fuck the girl in the backseat! What if he rejects me!”
“What if who rejects you?” Dean asked, appearing behind Sam, and making you both jump like two kids who had got caught doing something they weren’t supposed to.
You and Sam exchange a fearful look, but Dean didn’t seem to notice as he was too busy staring at the girl who was sitting at the booth across from you.
Even heavily under a spell, and you sitting not three feet away from him, and he still doesn’t give you a second look. You swallow hard and decide to try anyway. You needed to get him outta here. He couldn’t keep taking random girls. Some guy was going to end up knocking his face in or worse.
“Dean, whatcha say we get out of here,” you tell him, sliding over next to him, and placing a hand on this denim-covered thigh.
Dean moved his leg away from you, giving you a strange look.
“Why? I’m having fun here. Maybe you should go find yourself a guy to entertain yourself with until we’re ready to go.”
That stung, and try, as you might to hide it, it showed on your face anyway. Sam cleared his throat, making Dean look up at him in annoyance as you tried to make yourself smaller in your seat, and scoot as far away from the elder Winchester as possible.
“Dean,” Sam said in a stern tone. “We need to get you back to the bunker. You’ve been hit with a spell, and we need to meet Rowena there.”
Dean looked between Sam and the rest of the girls left in the bar and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Sam, come on man I’m fine! I’m not cursed, I feel fine. I’m just blowing off some steam.”
“Blowing off steam with three girls in less than an hour!” Sam all but shouted, and you flinched in spite of yourself.
Dean chewed on his lip nervously and looked between you and the younger Winchester. You were keeping a great deal of distance now, but watching him closely. Even though he seemed to be an expert at ripping your heart out and stomping on it you still loved him. Damn you.
“Okay, fine! Fuck. I was hoping it would wear off if I got off enough, but three chicks down and I’m still walking around with a fucking boner like a goddamn teenager in Victoria Secrets.” Dean admits through gritted teeth, a thin sheen of sweat shining on his forehead in the dim light of the bar as he pulls at his hair and sinks down lower in the seat.
“Come on Dean,” Sam said, placing a gentle hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Let’s get you home and wait for Rowena.”
To say the ride home was an awkward one was an understatement. Dean refused to drive and sat uncomfortably in the backseat palming his erection through his jeans subconsciously as you sat in the front seat next to Sam who was flying the rest of the way home to the bunker, which thank to God, was close.
As soon as Sam pulled up in the garage, Dean was out of the car and all but running towards the men of letters bathroom. You exchanged a worried look with Sam and followed behind him as he made his way to the bathroom door, listening to make sure his brother was okay.
“Dean!” Sam yelled, cracking the door and blocking your view. Not like you were trying to look anyway, but you back up nonetheless and give the boys their space.
“I’m fine Sammy, just gonna take a cold shower and then go wait for Rowena in my room.” Came the muffled response through the sound of running water and he shut the door, giving his brother as much privacy as he could.
“What do we do now?” you asked Sam, who was leaning against the door with a tired expression that mirrored your own.
“Well, those other guys, they got to where they couldn’t take it anymore, and usually killed themselves to relieve the…ya know… So it’s probably not a good idea for him to be alone for too long.”
“Sam, he’s not going to let me stay with him until Rowena gets here, he barely wants me to touch him.”
Sam took a step forward, placing a firm hand on your shoulder.
“Dean likes you Y/N, he’s just too scared to admit it, and this spell affects everyone differently. The goal with it isn’t to fuck someone you care about, but to run around like a feral dog in heat. Maybe he hasn’t tried with you because he cares for you deeper than that.”
You give Sam a broken-hearted smile, and shove his hand off of your shoulder, ”Nice try Sam, but the fact that your brother would rather fuck every other woman in Lebanon rather than me speaks louder than words.”
You walk towards your room and leave Sam standing alone in the hallway, taking the time to grab your clothes and make your way towards the bathrooms on the other side of the bunker to get cleaned up and have a quiet place to think.
You had been with the Winchesters for a long time now and had been through the nightly parade of women before with Dean, but watching him cart one right after another off tonight was a harder pill to swallow. The tears that had rolled down your cheeks in mockery of the shattered heart in your chest were nothing in comparison to the pain that you felt when he rejected you tonight. It was an unyielding heartache that was aimed to destroy, and you didn’t know if you would ever be able to even look at him the same way again, even if you stupidly still loved him.
There was no denying it now. He would never feel for you what you felt for him, even in desperation. There was no hope for the picture you stupidly let your head paint for you all those years ago of lingering touches and kisses. That would never happen to you.
Still, even though your heart was broken, even though your world felt like it was falling apart around you, even though it was taking all the strength you had left in your body to keep your heart beating, you couldn’t stand the thought of him suffering alone in his room right now. Sam was right, he didn’t need to be alone, and god forbid he didn’t live through this they might as well burn your body right along next to Dean because it’s going to kill you. There would be no coming up from that kind of grief.
Once you were dry and dressed your feet numbly carried you through the bunker, stopping in front of Dean’s door. You could hear him in there, and it wasn’t accompanied with the same thing you normally felt when you heard Dean getting himself off, because let’s face it, who wouldn’t that have an effect on. This time was different. You knew he was in pain, and you knew it was out of desperation, and when he cursed and threw something across the room, you knew what you had to do. His hand wasn’t going to cut it, not this time.
Slowly you push the door open to Dean’s room and find him sitting on the bed with his head in his hands, pulling harshly at his still damp locks. The sheet that was covering his lap was doing very little to cover the screaming erection he was still carrying.
His eyes shot to yours as you slipped inside and closed the door, and a shiver ran through your body as his eyes raked over you was a visible one.
“Sweetheart, you don’t want to be in here with me right now,” he warned, getting up slowly and not even caring that he was naked.
Jesus the man was a sight. Soft in all the right places, yet still toned and deadly threatening. Scars that were barely visible on his freckles skin only added to his appeal as sweat rolled down his body, and his cock stood proud and thick as he made his way closer to you. He had to be the most beautiful man you had ever seen, and you would be lying if you said that you weren’t already soaked just from looking at him.
“Dean, you don’t need to be alone right now, you know what happened to those other guys,” you warned him. His body caged you against the door, only about an inch from pressing into you fully.
You swallow thickly as his eyes darken further, and his breath comes out in a short huff, fanning warm over your face.
“That’s because they had no one to help get them off,” he said, licking that damn lower lip you desperately wanted to sink your teeth into. “Honey, if you stay here I’m not going to be able to stop.”
It was a warning meant to scare you, but honestly, you wanted nothing more than to have him ruin you right here against this door. Sure, the aftermath when he rejected you again after you were no longer a life or death option for him would probably kill you, but you would have him now. That’s more than you ever thought you would, and that would have to be enough.
Dean lowered his head to rest against your shoulder, and your arms wrapped around his neck in what was intended to be nothing more than comforting because it was rare that Dean would even touch you at all.
“I tried for so long to protect you from me, Y/N, and if I cross this line with you, I’m afraid I won’t ever be able to take it back. Then you will leave me one way or another. Everyone does.”
The confession comes out of nowhere, and honestly, if he wasn’t leaning against you it would have knocked you flat on your ass.
“Dean,” you tell him, placing your hand on either side of his face and forcing him to look at you. “I’m not going anywhere.”
He shook his head like he didn’t believe a word you were saying and with a boldness took over you never knew existed.
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“Dean, Chuck’s gone. This life? I’ve been in it long before I met you, and listen to me when I tell you, Winchester, if I stayed here this long after all the times I’ve watched you wander off with other girls instead of me then I’m not smart enough to leave. The proof is I’m standing here right now.”
Taking a deep breath, Dean looked at you as clearly as he could in his current state before bringing his lips to yours in a soft kiss that had your world spinning.
“I’ve always had feelings for you ya know. Even if this spell wasn’t on me right now, I just wanted you to know that this means a lot more to me than just a quick fuck.”
Capturing your lips in his own he lifts you before you could even respond to him, caring you over to the bed and dropping you down on the mattress beneath you before coming down over you to kiss you again, pulling at your clothes impatiently as the Dean that was there a moment ago started to drift away, and the spell started to take hold again.
You quickly rid yourself of the clothes that he hadn’t ripped off of you as his teeth trailed over your quickly overheating skin before biting down on your pulse point and pulling a deep moan from you as his fingers swiftly swiped through your slick folds before he lined himself up with you and pressed himself into your heat with no hesitation before his lips find yours again, swallowing your moans and his deep grunts as he kissed you deeply.
There was no gentleness in the way he pounded into you. Every thrust felt like it was about to split you wide open in the best way as his hips pistoned into yours, his tip hitting your cervix with every thrust, and sending a jolt of pleasure raging through your body. Your orgasm rushed over you as he continued to pound into your quivering heat, driving another orgasm right on the heels of the one he really never allowed your body to come down from as he drilled and rutted his cock into you.
“Fuck,” he growled as he finally spilled deep inside of you, both of you riding out your high as his body slowed until he finally stilled, both of you panting and weak as he pulled his finally softened length from you.
“Are you okay sweetheart?” He asked with a worry-laced tone, brushing your hair away from your face and peppering your face with little kisses.
You nod and catch his lips on your own, throwing everything you had into it. Every hurt, every unspoken emotion, everything.
A loud knock resounded on Dean’s door and he scrambled to cover you before yelling for whoever was on the other side to come in. Your heart was pounding as the red-headed witch walked in with Sam right behind her. Both of them had a coy smile plastered to their faces, and it made you exchange a brief look of worry.
“How are you feeling now Dean?” Rowena asked him, crossing her arms over her chest with a smirk.
“Fine, actually…I feel…normal.”
Rowena and Sam exchanged a knowing look before Sam finally elaborated.
“Looks like you were right Rowena, she is his soul mate,” Sam laughed slightly at the bewildered expression on your faces.
“Can someone tell me what the hell he’s talking about?” you finally blurt out, and Rowena almost cackles before answering you.
“The spell could only be broken if he were to have sex with his soul mate, his true love. It’s literally a cruel twist on the whole ‘true love kiss breaks a spell trope’, virtually, soul mates are rare, so the spell is usually fate. The male goes mad and kills himself. Since you just happened to be right here under Dean’s nose, I told Sam it was best to let them work it out the old-fashioned way. Looks like I was right.”
With a shrug, the witch cockily walks out of the room with a twist in her step, summoning Sam to follow her as she leaves. “Come on Samuel, let the love birds nest.”
Sam gives you both a tight smile and rushes to follow the witch, leaving you and Dean alone in his room with a look of shock on both of your faces.
“So…” you start, but Dean’s lips find yours before you can even say anything, kissing you deeply before pulling away to lean his forehead against your own.
“Guess I can go ahead and tell you I love you now and stop trying to cover it up since Rowena kinda kicked that door open for me.” Dean says, giving you a peck on the lips before settling you into his hold and wrapping his arms protectively around you. He was exhausted, and it was starting to show.
“I love you to Dean, I always have. I always will,” you tell him, running your fingers soothingly through his hair as he drifts off to sleep in your arms the way you had always hoped he would.
It looks as if dreams do come true after all. Sometimes you just need a good curse to make the stubborn man admit his feelings and stop running from what was right there in front of him. Thankful, this was a dream you weren’t going to wake up from and be lonely again because it was real. He was real. He was yours. Finally. It just took a curse of the heart…
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