A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMne34RMfUE
-:-971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo89UtEbM09
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl6a6EfJtbl
CHARACTERS971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXJx5NnbDe
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxndDTFkTTS
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTfwDsTFYk
--971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7IbZ6XQfI
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2A818oo8H
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFruToc3lr7
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcx6hnW7xtF
We don’t have much time.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFv6lnr8k0x
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbySk5ZMSX
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6PE5swVmZ
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaRai9UnD6
CECIL971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZ4VExmx4v
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDw2oq7p7Pz
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwnQ5EwE4s
I understand you’re upset - 971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6fY7OIEn6
CECIL971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPR5gjRTmu
I damn well am! 971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpu4B6rQPBv
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxy5I5Z4ps
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlspgMKrTrQ
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDxIjNbDr4
CECIL971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdf4nWDyuwM
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkg8dEEEnx
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb164ixEpgq
(slowly)971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzACNEUxYT
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8S3GE7K4VY
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oVFnJbeiF
CECIL971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uOfgLaoNJ
What?971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEg63telXg
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJL34yLKvnj
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6oOR9rHeR
CECIL971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBgq9GqTdg
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFBDvNUkuY
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoK563JjfNx
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9Ub5ClFeE
CECIL971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxBEgCu398
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvWkicTQi5
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6uJ9iVzNh
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi06m2oOYEt
CECIL971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPixUCbTnt2
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QR1gDNPNo
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK98qN2ZG7p
That may be the case, but look at this.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9RRlljtRP
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjQ1MeSS8V
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeLAX8ZGy9
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJafSRlO4PE
CECIL971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNgUv9rliL
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyroyG7mogu
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOq7gmXI8xt
(grimly)971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGblUJuIeA
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdWDs85K6J
CECIL971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovbssEr24f
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4mbcjfB2w
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvsAN9Hc6L
XIUYING971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25dP5hjH1K
Who said anything about paying them off?971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Rj2vHrkHM
--971Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXPOnKMp8O
