A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlTa0pISOZ
-:-852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwHPDLpcYi
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOXoLkJEkb
CHARACTERS852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuUYLBUhc0
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hK4kMGQfQ
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGQ6S5G5Dl
--852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sTn9tjy5x
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgdouYaIke
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHMeqab5hP
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMVdNkQbAK
We don’t have much time.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1iDPFrhn4
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9kDB5zhxa
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLJNa3v7JG
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHIKRFXMTe
CECIL852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXMewVxpVi
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvL4tseZiz
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOlrOy0Hgn
I understand you’re upset - 852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsvxbKfusD
CECIL852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJqpzOx4K2
I damn well am! 852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhEz6bCBrc
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouhYk0KczR
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhq9hUyZpv5
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwpMxumAk5
CECIL852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNYa9OeGab
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7vLqyeHAy
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfEEsqBvRc
(slowly)852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3myYYG0RTs
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbq6PBAyXXy
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xepmElYzb
CECIL852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9mhOz8wFD
What?852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpx6enYBkZ
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRn5bfqsvq
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6gJVuq565
CECIL852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsq6uKSCpT
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8SCYdDrvL3
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPQbhSIAQB
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBBtI0rxGb
CECIL852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCycprno0Ar
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdx6fkApWV
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOJWBLcm23
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgQOXGnYI4
CECIL852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHob4z0KT8n
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXPABLfvcR
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSTYWq80ay
That may be the case, but look at this.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFchfDhB0Y
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvytNJMOtXQ
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6z7okaxpKH
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTspqneIxQJ
CECIL852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpRBM7JzDx
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSHtFhIjew
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGNALTA8Ic
(grimly)852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7csm0HlkiL
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Add2oEM7d
CECIL852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRof7xMmyc
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyp5wm2mit
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYqD6BdvYw
XIUYING852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlClQI3RaE
Who said anything about paying them off?852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoRFsFV8Ig
--852Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xsk5UsBMx
