A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegCYaKpjDm
-:-958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XjznqbKV7
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziN5Bc4SI1
CHARACTERS958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctuROoMsxC
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeLb5Pf0kD
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWNpQzIqK1
--958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHe1Wwnudw
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2MmKrednu
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUsnsJq4t1
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQuIytkMYE
We don’t have much time.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyduqNCHEZx
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBwI0MXP7V
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZE4AkWaHlS
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrky5OaXf0
CECIL958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyg7Vqik9KC
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksNvGHYsUc
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwyPk0UyVM
I understand you’re upset - 958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdKdUWxk2g
CECIL958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7IRKvMb5Y
I damn well am! 958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYc7teQa9zy
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaYvmZ9qMZ
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5496ZDVf4V
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1Sqe77uvl
CECIL958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsLxitPttL
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFYjELtXq8
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeges7U6YDv
(slowly)958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJecYuwrJ6
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Qf6tao3fz
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYVuY5MM23j
CECIL958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5u3F8LP9J
What?958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6x4KReM7gK
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Cu5D3xdvb
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTUiRxj8W7
CECIL958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkKlwhFbJg
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJCrzVCvWi
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4wxca07eJ
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsT7KcSsI7e
CECIL958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4RktOrCj3
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3jrV6DJkn
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz513cE9DCX
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SDN9NUPMB
CECIL958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62sIYv3sb0
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTZ5D4ovUp
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWXHRYTu17
That may be the case, but look at this.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpAR7NOrmi
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJODyLLAqIL
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfP4XxcPmcQ
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNz9QRySok
CECIL958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgonWa3prjg
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKxOXD5UT1
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfYw5uSGpu
(grimly)958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjOjv4B295
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWwLn81ntd
CECIL958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXbiOpkq90
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGZ7RMNB6L
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEds5WeoXU
XIUYING958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwzLOWEqWT
Who said anything about paying them off?958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxAQGN0Foi
--958Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFhm5bL7Dh
