最鋒利的刀，從不見血。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WwUFXV3Y8
它藏在湯裡、藥裡、一句「媽媽都是為妳好」裡。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2M8NPNyHx
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG10b1MOEBS
它叫愛。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDBZsysXeu
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDGt83lZJo
靜餘，是我名字。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWdggHSKk5
梁靜餘。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZB69vAHMiI
聽起來像個文靜的、病懨懨的姑娘。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZba6XZYZKR
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEnTQ9A4Kn
其實我本性愛笑，小時候能追著狗滿院子跑，7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8pOFNsuDL
能把螞蟻窩捅塌還哈哈大笑。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzumqNHGIRz
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPb0btqGB8
三歲那年，母親開始說我情緒不穩。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1rW6WwZrj
六歲，我被診斷為早發性憂鬱症。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5tqELuHhF
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2kdcdElRa
從此，孩子的人生，就成了一場由她執筆的悲劇。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4Oxsvr10X
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflphmn7GdK
她總說：「我比妳更懂痛苦。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5pxlcWTev
說得那麼真，眼淚那麼準時，連心理醫生都感動：「這位單親媽媽太偉大了，十年如一日照顧病兒。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JViefn9tx
可沒人問過——7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMNoB9ZxiN
我到底，是不是真的病了？7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAPodd6ymB
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MvP5NsRiE
直到那個雨夜。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIX2xy0lzr
我假裝睡著，她進來關窗，日記本落在書桌。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu0LHwRhJJ
深藍絨面，銀扣鎖，像某種聖物。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9UugBKvgK
我打開它，像打開潘朵拉的盒子。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdieVHFO6sO
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywGiejaLCU
第一頁寫著：7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4ISWeTk5P
「今天靜餘又裝開心。我加了半顆白藥。她笑了幾秒，然後眼神就黯下去，像燈泡燒盡。她不能快樂太久，快樂會讓她想逃。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJbi7p2TZU
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXMs0nTDwvw
我讀著，心口像被什麼東西一點點啃食。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjOHJu8Sde
不是痛，是空。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFg6yNhvoa
一種被剝皮拆骨後，才發現自己從未真正活過的空。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxN1O9l1hw
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCxdhE5Jx1P
原來我不是憂鬱。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpZaD50oy1
是被「養」出來的憂鬱。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQa7wBIcJU
像一朵在暗室人工催開的花，7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOY6inWucFA
白、軟、無香，只能活在她設定的濕度與溫度裡。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0EU6XkcOb
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8O68NAX52D
她給我吃的藥，不是治療，是致病劑。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyyujaHr0R
長期服用會導致情緒遲鈍、記憶模糊、依賴性增強——7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMphEmYBa2A
不是治病，是製造病人。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XowDuJWiW
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUotgPNnvbG
我手抖得像風中的塑膠袋。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtRRXDfqiT
想尖叫，可我知道，只要我喊出聲，她就會衝進來，抱著我說：「乖，別怕，媽媽在。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdLkX9LUEk
然後，給我一顆鎮定的藥。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2cf3HLDhg
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCN4D6VSim
那藥，會讓我連恨都記不起來。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡasMJ8RFPan
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RX9hbaioQ
我開始裝睡。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZoti4hKHm
每晚十點，她會輕輕推開門，坐在床邊，盯著我呼吸。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQ0GZcJ6Cm
有時她會伸手，撫過我的眉、我的唇，像在確認某件收藏品是否仍在原位。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxL8w2wJ6U4
「乖，」她低語，「病了，媽媽不會離開妳。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP34II2dD6R
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIchMtv74g
我假裝吞藥，實際沖到了馬桶。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpiQjioggk
偷偷減量，身體像被撕開——頭痛、失眠、幻聽。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RXS50WLUL
但我逐漸清醒。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWuQf9sq7X
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgb7WLxNEwj
小學時，我其實愛笑，愛跑，愛在雨裡跳水坑。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHbw3AeGuD
是母親說：「女孩子要安靜，不然別人會說你瘋。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeD306Ygj1
是她，在我果汁裡加第一粒藥，輕聲說：「這能讓妳乖一點。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOprRx3REeV
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczGFdpFjjE
我錄下她半夜自言自語：「沒了病，妳就不需要我了……」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyQyLl5BKH
我把證據寄給社工、醫生、警察。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGnXxkeRAg
沒人信。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpNvr5k2uD
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKzLHJfLj8
「母親這麼愛妳，怎麼可能害妳？」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbamlIGVq5i
「妳有妄想症，靜餘，要堅持治療。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFenCaMRN6O
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQrgrev1v1
直到那天，我「自殺未遂」。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNAWXGVyWg
其實是母親給我喝了過量鎮靜劑，再用刀片劃開手腕，哭著打119：「我可憐的孩子，又想不開了……」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjn4h3fCE5n
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZbcQ8LU2w
急救室燈光刺眼，我睜眼，看見她站在門外，手指緊扣，眼神卻像在祈禱我別醒。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iSVPHEE6L
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZP0gWv4dHv
我閉眼，繼續裝昏迷。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfjOgYm7GG
但我在手臂上，用指甲刻下：「救我。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9ImygpMOE
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JZZ0bGUnv
三天後，護士換藥時愣住。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYo1Sdv9ny
她盯著我的刻字，又看我。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIzsmvK55y
我睜開眼，輕輕點頭。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkP8g2LgekS
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiBQ8GfY9z
她沒說話，但那晚，我房間外多了巡邏腳步聲。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntJ8IrV31A
母親被請去談話。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0h18FoLKo
藥，換了。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYS0bLWlYu
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjRJTILYho
我開始真正地復健——7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ROcwFyvoU
出院那天，陽光刺眼。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvbBbRLsEJ
母親站在門口，笑著張開手：「回來了，寶貝。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG346thdA1E
我沒進她懷裡。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjEj77GbPhZ
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRYNy4w1Zt
我只看著她的眼睛——7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKGDqJZFxd
那雙曾被我當作全世界的眼睛——7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BYwpooGHL
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGc1gUUhvzr
輕聲說：「媽，妳從來不是在救我。妳只是，不想一個人活著。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwgT1OYWuf
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wQB2WA5w1
她僵在原地。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dNcvC1I52
我轉身，走進光裡。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWt79GXD5M
身後，雨終於停了。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctHkcUdvxH
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypsz9jBcMm
我搬進咖啡店附近的小房間，六坪，牆薄如紙，隔壁夫妻吵架我能聽清每一個字。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0x3fTuMU72
很好。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqD0d7PwTFl
至少這世界的聲音，是真實的。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGaPtOWywS
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3ubTjhmTK
我開始打工，端盤子、擦桌子、記客人的飲料偏好。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkK4waYaAO
老闆娘叫阿霞，五十歲，嗓門大，笑起來像打雷。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZoPG83Oe2
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeNZIDi6WI
「小丫頭，安安靜靜的，像隻受驚的貓。」她說：「但在這裡，不用裝乖。客人罵你，你就罵回去；燙到手，就喊痛。痛了，才知道自己活著。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMc7YC1mv0
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFe3qT5yXG
我點點頭，把這句話偷偷寫在筆記本第一頁。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbctdjAEd6
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLhaI2ZOZK
「痛了，才知道自己活著。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYPucDMhQ2
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbcjA3u8qk
不是她給我的那種痛——7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2048c1Drvf
那種讓人麻木、讓人想死的痛。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrr9NUeBu4
是燙傷的痛，是被誤會的痛，是被人瞪一眼卻敢回瞪的痛。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yd82y92Eb
是活著的痛。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr65rQPjia
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0nqF4XsBu
我繼續減藥。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BB5I9jpco
戒斷反應像地獄：頭像要裂開，手抖得拿不住杯子，半夜驚醒，聽見牆壁在呼吸。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdn1RTn3pGA
我咬牙撐著。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsar0Ng4tm
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5yc3oqB6d
我不再寫「今天心情：低落」，我寫：「今天摔了三個盤子，被阿霞罵，我回嘴了。她愣住，然後笑了。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPD5E18aoQJ
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO19ZpgRh74
我寫：「今天有客人說我笑起來很好看。我愣住，然後發現——我剛才真的笑了。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt0bt7VR1W
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqY8StlpXV3
我開始拍照。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3K0Ie0qbK9
不是自拍，是拍生活。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHa7E7HAh7
拍窗台上的小盆栽，拍樓梯轉角的光影，拍阿霞煮咖啡時飛濺的奶泡。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQVksiLu57
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5oBFkrt2w
原來世界不是灰的。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdqrZw2lw2
是我之前被藥物，調成了黑白色。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgXgzOP83w
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDG5oWffN0
某天夜班，我整理收銀機，發現客人看過的報紙留在一旁。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡly1UMMltxC
標題：〈母愛還是操控？代理型孟喬森症候群引發關注〉7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVIkMrpqSz
我盯著那名字，像看見一把鑰匙。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3acf0tWCjk
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RMLWUTekj
我衝去圖書館，查資料，讀案例。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgrDKDmWPP
原來，我不是第一個。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡov1LRS8Ood
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPNOnQ2VSI
原來，這世上真有這種病——7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXisc2T0Si
照顧者以「愛」為名，製造被照顧者的疾病，7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPLtSyCHgd
只為獲得關注與掌控感。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtTtlEUwRU
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdTMzJunTL
我打印資料，錄下母親的語音，整理藥品收據。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgYVaniPyG
寄給心理協會，寄給記者，寄給曾經診治我的醫生。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaMXs2sOg3
這次，我附上一句話：「我不是妄想。我是被愛殺了許多年，現在，我要活回來。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZek6Nm8fq
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOBZdziwyo
三週後，社工上門。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡja7qD06GRb
母親在家，笑著迎人：「我可憐的孩子，又發病了，亂寫東西。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4Sbc6rD01
社工看著我，眼神有懷疑，也有不忍。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfunv982XPS
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutd5dgiwOZ
我沒辯解。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6pgWkbFGA
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDLhvcmcS2
我打開筆記本，翻到最後一頁：「她給我的藥，成分是XXX。我藏了三年的藥片，都在這裡。你可以送去化驗。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRokHKfDhE
我從鞋墊下拿出一個小塑膠袋，裡面是上百顆白色、藍色、黃色的藥丸。像一顆顆被藏起來的子彈。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iKBhe5VD0
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuaN5QfJzN
社工沉默很久，說：「我們會調查。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZAx610MT3
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIgcvGu0gu
母親臉色發白。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDmFfwyO1K
她第一次，沒哭。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYBWzBbQLb
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREdw3LrR8W
一個月後，新聞出來了。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nTJRYRpzK
「憂鬱少女」揭母親操控真相，藥物成鐵證。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIi6OPuHn4F
照片裡的我，站在陽光下，沒戴帽子，沒低頭，沒躲。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHATEkQYbL
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57YQoesPdv
我說：「我不是病了。我是被弄病的。但現在我知道，我可以把自己，治好。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SVlgeeh5h
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawCqylUS6W
母親被限制探視。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaw0RZEJ9dz
她打電話來，聲音顫抖：「靜餘，妳怎麼能這樣對媽媽？我為妳付出一切……」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrYbKET02E
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwDXsxH9Hv
我聽著，心口發疼，但沒哭。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqIDwQQ4ZD
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQitoah7Uj
「媽，」我說，「妳付出的，不是愛。是控制。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8fdYBc7TM
而我，不需要這種愛，也能活。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpmSknOYqp
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVtkkjc0XA
我掛了電話。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhuarSll9n
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmoWxp9r7O
窗外，雨停了。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGZvuB9h4F
陽光穿過雲層，像一把劍，劈開陰霾。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggPwu4XkDp
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvAsd3ARv1
一年後，我站在診所的小講台。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvCCxaDbDZ
台下坐著心理師、社工，還有一群眼神閃躲的「曾經的我」。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJe4KmwtpfQ
這是一場關於「代理型孟喬森症候群」的座談會。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloLMK1YxUd
主辦單位問我願不願意分享。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8Tb8ChXFq
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBwKxj8S14
我想了想，說：「好。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMpHe05UQQ
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QaNXegLE9
我沒帶稿。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFAb4s21Rn
只說了一件事：「我叫梁靜餘。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5wMExHW7jS
十七歲以前，我以為我的靈魂天生殘缺。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWTum0t15q
我以為痛苦，是與生俱來的胎記。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtn8bxBkM3
可後來才知道——7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpzPQC2ZNM
我的病，是母親的『作品』。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCw8KMc0l5
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlftZd7xyU
台下鴉雀無聲。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VNViq96uU
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegu1HUiopy
「她給我吃藥，偽造病歷，阻斷我的社交，讓我相信：只有她，能救我。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9lGcqguQ5n
她說：『我比妳更懂痛苦。』可她從未問過，我想要的快樂是什麼。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBamTecUp2B
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4r7GG2MpA
我抬頭，直視攝影機：7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3KVcDXNZf
「她不是惡魔。她只是個害怕被拋棄的女人。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmBA1PaMgc
可她的愛，像一把鎖，把我鎖在病裡，鎖在童年，鎖在她需要我的角色裡。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfri8m0fgZ
而我，差點就死在這把鎖裡。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48AyOHQXPR
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDjkVoSaXM
「但我想告訴所有和我一樣的人——7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYsvt2LZAM
不需要靠『病』來證明存在。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGelJtguV6t
不需要用『痛』，去換一句『媽媽愛妳』。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPsjrj9OHG
妳可以走出來。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7xnhsnJdy
妳可以重新學會笑，重新學會生氣，重新學會說『不』。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJsQmIY6di
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZogIn2J6Qt
「我花了三百多天，才敢盯著鏡子裡的自己，不逃。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6yAx1Y1bv
我花了五百天，才敢去交朋友，不怕被嫌棄。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLnrBblCxE
我現在仍會怕，會抖，會半夜驚醒。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkC4OLOXnxM
但我活著。清醒地活著。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMAnETBTNC
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL95GnyI5O9
我最後說：7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSN7bng3XJ
「如果妳正在聽，正在看，正在被『愛』綁架——7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORDPIEwrlf
請記住真正的愛，不會讓妳失去自己。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLkLfn4ABR
它會說：『我陪妳。』7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlTZHnfjWM
而不是：『妳只能靠我。』」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8La6KC3fI
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRx2Tp3Lzoh
「而我，梁靜餘，7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtt3Dhiz4u
今天站在此地，7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJr5k2cNmP
不是作為一個『被治癒的病人』，7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bU0wk2h3m
而是作為一個，把自己從地底挖出來的人。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzGqJYhWPI
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgxEpKydeo
我走下台。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCchVPXNp9
沒有人鼓掌一開始。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjfyDVEq2u
然後，一個女孩站起來，哭了。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4b0gE2hgAw
接著，另一個，再一個。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7HH9po4l5
掌聲終於像淚水，7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggN8ZdJlZV
落下來。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk56KOcddYI
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYNiNBRJMo
那天晚上，我夢見母親。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoe1NC98JAL
她站在老屋門口，手裡端著藥杯：「靜餘，回來吧，外面冷。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYz20jK21L
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oaKEOqaAP
我搖頭。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbzAwjWV8h
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwmsaElyWR
「我不冷，」我說：「我有太陽。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXXondNCLo
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwtZEXeD5K
她愣住，然後轉身走進屋子，門關上，像一聲歎息。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsPQ9NK7vs
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrek0e1RGup
我醒來，天已亮。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjUENdwP8L
手機有訊息。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MrJWfW1Wj
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkKSledk8p
是阿霞：「今天咖啡特別香，像有人在笑。」7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0DfoBdDb3
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9YUDqS2yF
我笑了。真的笑了。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7sb2jKjcm
不是裝的，是從骨子裡長出來的笑。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0Qb46BwN0
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOR1w2tmyel
我打開筆記本，寫下最後一段：7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mw8xwwY9v
我曾活在母親的雙眼裡。現在，我活在自己的目光中。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXLdb6uLFi
這目光，不再閃躲，不再憂愁，不再畏懼。我存在著。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiwlVpbSra
健康，而且自由。7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLY7eN8YDh
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGArEoUPgl3
7Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyfrp8dPJu
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