致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTw9zRpOSS
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前提，是特殊情況之下371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHhlbl64M7
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeB1nQAtZVw
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大概371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEu2hVeDc2s
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDI61dAopsb
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhyeDjl5Wk
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「⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMWMP87897
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiHfz7uCyY
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydvF1fFDyr
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nYE3ijB15
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCA4VPbocq
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不良日常性時候371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6lfdVZzr9
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuUQVzlbdQ
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMU34Fdo0Mq
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKepDcbG5I
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxHszph8BH
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FQlDd82IJ
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdTPS6h1CQ
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvO8ZEMzi1
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPaPJnw3Lu
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡld9X9jLSAT
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4e7NN43AGw
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「呀！來了、來了！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGj0QYe3v4
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「走啊～」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KO9uwk428
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlQNaog2vG
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84Z48w3TAO
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他371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSROQZrDoV
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「又被欺負了嗎？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ324u80XYrb
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXH1wsZ0Y99
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqsz9FHU17
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4f8XQknBEl
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuYWV23p6I
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0hooxgYYlh
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⋯⋯371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfgZbO7rb9
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怎也好呢371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GxsTZZ5lW
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「⋯⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmgyeZ3bJJ
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWvefMZL5K
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77KlXRdOSL
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—— 咔 ——371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFIacrgL8H
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⋯371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMRJF2ZC42
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⋯⋯371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaMu4FcSh0
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWh8v7STB2o
「嗚⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAy0nMqKpfk
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58nKa9FmQR
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjsbMZdT1z
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvcW6x9qEV
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「啊？！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RJf1fOaVt
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—— 啪噹 ——371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgoS4LAp8q7
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmkmNsSNQZ
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBYqCxOI96
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她一樣371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgbMRhyIEY
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbC1zwKtQ8U
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHctWYMy6RQ
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「對不起！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiGyGEk2BQ
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLBDrZHCcT
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「來」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUnQfxUYhe
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「⋯謝謝」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3ZKRb3pau
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDlm7Z5NGg
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQpfkKD6K8
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8uHlhgttM
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyqOZdnhQG
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「那個，水無月？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVrvaQsLQj
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「怎麼了？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPlxASFEGy
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSq6xtb9EO
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各種371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRsm5jhVyS
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42rrLsU23q
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEwM7wlnzJ
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且只能回味371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70Gzz00evB
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「回來了嗎，島見？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHemreQZWU
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshDe2V2Aas
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCM50cLUNB
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpJRkr5eeR
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「媽媽⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvypgm2P2Xy
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「⋯⋯是的？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdgkxXyZTV
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXl9HZ3PyJx
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0f693rNbCu
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6tqkeoIQ4
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJwRtypyAN
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呢371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNf04mnwaU
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRySUxUcJGF
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi19AqXXnLj
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEtxhrvhnd
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「欸？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZ40nm8zT8
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「哈哈～不過看起來只是氣息而已」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyHqT4Yx8K
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「這樣嗎⋯？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHGFheYkao
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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逐漸自滿起來371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevzL2w1oVY
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「生日快樂！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxayiQGytPI
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「這個是你弄的嗎？謝謝♡～」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaI4TGa7PT
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太過成功才使人後悔啊371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjolqWsultW
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「⋯賀羽⋯⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6FXVQQ6Rf
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「⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYh9cwJ3AR8
「所以說⋯你的⋯你的答覆是—— 啊⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzoiCMyxWS
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—— 噗 ——371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtj1FqPA87K
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「喜歡」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtDH458BF1
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTXfioerOG
「賀羽？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEf1WetsNqN
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「嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFO0o0PeBiZ
「太好了⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHVn8QynER
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJtyIoPHlN
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如果⋯371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0Tlik5sm4
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9qJvQyNAD
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來得太突然了，去得太突然371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmMY3h1655
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371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxPbNE59Ue好痛371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2UV5luVT7
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「什麼？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKUWOE4fA9
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽，我也不想的——」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsL148PwnP
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9zdseCsxE
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMHavSIDfm
「我⋯我已經一無所有了⋯嗚⋯⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRaXrXb77a
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「⋯對不起⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0YedSgWo8
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對不起有什麼用？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMv1sFvsDk
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道歉又有什麼用？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8OHyaTyp4
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卻371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7zLZ53mlJ
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7i9KBGlG1t
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要説再見了嗎？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxH68HV51A
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我不想371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1bKHu88gb
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK747ql8H1O
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyBODUhQc4
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我不想那樣子371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8az8F161v
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmIOacIxgB
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbieTSo3ICB
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不在這般的前半生之後371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoHKvAl7rX
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⋯⋯371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxIP0gayfW
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無論如何，日子倒是來了371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMrYmUfAVK
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最後的笑容，就在當刻371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnT0pliFeik
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKqlPwbXrg
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc6PxPSEVG我不接受371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6prDzsjaP
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqx0YeRC5O我不接受371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMry1vl5DH
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—— 啾 ——371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmL9VL55YP
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我不接受371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqlgH841kX
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「賀羽⋯？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfSIyLCXOWv
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—— 啾 ——371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6v7vdg5iF
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wjh8pQC1A
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCr0x1UUqG
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我不接受這樣的結果371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP26R1VwdLK
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfd43T33cVT
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7ZRaKjGsn
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlB1Ddf6lo
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我的本性371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXrYsLPfm0
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMhC0hzRLD
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—— 啪 ——371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlssQoTikj
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「給我閉嘴」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVTg6cKF2m
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8YrHAA0Dr
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我終究只是野獸而已呢371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8lv8EOENB
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nlT2o8oCa
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJIneDVfwy5
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而作為人形野獸真的該死371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDyxICNnas
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如此痛苦也是活該371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETh4mdq4NV
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忘記不能也是371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7W2huU0U6
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBGXJZ55q2
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUxMXjQyRE
「張開口！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yxhxzTs9p
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1vUSoiZMa
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發現了嗎？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1SJZFS6NY
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbX7xipMCS
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2Y60TXKCD
371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DHGDbb08C
我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwLc49yTDM
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「為什麼⋯⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziOTw0t5jc
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我所嚮往的371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfK8d43VM0
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所謂的371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyIi5qctSu
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「正常」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ebLhrc6V4
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純粹是個謊言371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPm635hpUAC
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MPkGJx0lY
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYeqmtEGUa
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⋯⋯371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtS6n32JVD
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所以說，我是異類嗎？371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDgigD3aDm
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「⋯⋯再見了」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNyKLq5Wy5
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當然371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQTqv3vVTu
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnQwu5yMMQ
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2Jy4nTZ44
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGSGj7P2d3
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「嘿⋯」371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEyvZCwhR6
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自討而已371Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCZWvzYPBx
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
ns216.73.216.45da2
