致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vmeujgsXE
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前提，是特殊情況之下322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNu0BHM1sQ
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzqGtfbKDu
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大概322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrAryaBxmU
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmQC0ZhLHV
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv07nJ3kT9Z
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「⋯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzm5WMIeZj
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DYoNNK4uU
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6UoZ0Ok8Z
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrSNPz4F4i
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4nvfQnIS5q
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不良日常性時候322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcFsICuMBP
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyfIvBmbvZ
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNeGyAOMrc
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgUvf9Lexn
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebSZi214mc
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzLxDjSsNB
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS91s9254iH
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqInmYMDnFX
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjXBXyhPce
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3jeNdS2io
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMypVWXr3zs
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「呀！來了、來了！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYEBHq9mL6
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「走啊～」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjjJiC2TVD
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWxVWQy9gR
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTInv2y15t
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他322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXxED2onBq
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「又被欺負了嗎？」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bpcziDL3z
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEypBNgcPMp
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpC7PFQ4DjT
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCXT027Lgj
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZtmP7xZEo
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWC91uAecAn
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⋯⋯322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7HXZCOaqn
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怎也好呢322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8c4mGgm4YF
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「⋯⋯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUIstbhqsc
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Sj3wKjkfX
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzdv2HV0fk
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—— 咔 ——322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcg15BJR497
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⋯322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdJ8jNvlPZ
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⋯⋯322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFGfRDFKnIZ
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajc1lHBnqt
「嗚⋯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIhkMPn2Bh
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxi6ppfoTy
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nj8l5x77M
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7ZyF1sETA
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「啊？！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqeAuXeajR
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—— 啪噹 ——322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCA7aWngihZ
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ltXiw8rT3
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQJJhQmZaK
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她一樣322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYGZncpJAS
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpondNfypj
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23DxmjjVto
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「對不起！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgWdH6cb0i
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIx0nW8z8i
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「來」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLh7DeOkhr
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「⋯謝謝」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFQoKnqi4T
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS83SCL6iND
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGpnjfvn2E
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlpY2WoSeq
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1JktmZJCh
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「那個，水無月？」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOoUGI9718
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「怎麼了？」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbgddBohwq
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0EGTFgThU
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各種322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnUSjUgakx
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKYr7mcJdU
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYukhB05cu
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且只能回味322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljINnAEsMt
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「回來了嗎，島見？」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdB8lBAwLNa
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJK2a1clcj
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LBCKyOTWA
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVosE7YWvUo
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「媽媽⋯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UDn69VOmm
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「⋯⋯是的？」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVR6XwMrug1
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59y1uLqrKr
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4IjiGH9q4
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqNqlEITcj
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrEhKR9v1V
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呢322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pY1Ni4ECo
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqo53hAYa8
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWAZzta5kY
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQm59GrDnoe
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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—— 噗 ——322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncTHpXQdiv
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUtGkoSv5H
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如果⋯322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQ0PfeKEW7
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CxAaME3bC
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPf5qXY0XmO
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道歉又有什麼用？322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlJ1FPKXup
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卻322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6kZ2NUXu9
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrm3WVH4gvO
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要説再見了嗎？322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeN42QhmXS9
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我不想322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nRZclgFb2
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrzsrgpcQr
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeku0XxRt0
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我不想那樣子322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWppBpNczkE
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvi03sGie8e
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgVZ60wC2l
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不在這般的前半生之後322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHDsnhTPwT
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⋯⋯322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStNA2NdAKO
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無論如何，日子倒是來了322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cfNBZ0c5J
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最後的笑容，就在當刻322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrWJ5o0ZYA
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrXCmAcH3f
322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMM3JlPREL我不接受322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUczRog6Ym
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—— 啾 ——322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvtqIhxOpT
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我不接受322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89JndFJUSs
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「賀羽⋯？」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNzV9lnpxW
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—— 啾 ——322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9xAdRN3un
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFUIb0x2uf
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我不接受這樣的結果322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBYjN89IXg
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKowgyyfut
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGG7FGmLUbz
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2HthFaPp7
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我的本性322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6V4S8clHOY
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTdUAwxYlh
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—— 啪 ——322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIkC5zYfg1
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「給我閉嘴」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2TGhHEO4h
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdz3FbaUmUC
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我終究只是野獸而已呢322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv17KX8HTHB
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1M0VAYYc2b
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而作為人形野獸真的該死322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSPgANOUIS
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如此痛苦也是活該322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7zLP5MaYi
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忘記不能也是322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5SZxv9IM4
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQ1cw7SVy9
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNq8WolZsV
「張開口！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3G3HUYaYBN
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1ln8AuvSI
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發現了嗎？322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYaXD0KYB9
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlBxN6AJq6
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡop9Mv4H7qV
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzwTPtXo5H
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「為什麼⋯⋯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGCgW7x31M
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我所嚮往的322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡST8uWNZ3ss
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所謂的322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2R0UFxseR2
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「正常」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpUzNsCkks
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純粹是個謊言322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuYx6Oe66k
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK382Vx6MUX
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49mTABSzKw
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⋯⋯322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FhEnGhc7A
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所以說，我是異類嗎？322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm5d3ApyJYz
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「⋯⋯再見了」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpECJWkNDm
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當然322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIrAuTAHew
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqnr6CxVmg
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1KqOfIk6V
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcdMPYbCs8
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「嘿⋯」322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8POT9Lfbm
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自討而已322Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiwMnjxKAf
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
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