The next morning—or afternoon, I was up and very productive on my laptop.
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Online shopping of course.
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It had just hit two in the afternoon and I had a shot of espresso Kai brought me.
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I didn't necessarily need the extra energy since I got plenty of sleep last night.
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After eating Jack in the Box with Kai yesterday, we binge-watched some shows and then she left to go back to her place.
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Then I got ready for bed, falling asleep around ten and sleeping in until eleven.
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I doom-scrolled on social media for a couple of hours before Kai interrupted me with a few knocks on my door—holding an iced coffee in one hand and my espresso shot in the other.
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Now we've settled on the couch, with her watching an old Bratz movie while I focused on shopping for classes that start next week.
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"Okay, this is what I decided on" I said, flipping my Macbook around for Kai to see.
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I had spent an hour finalizing my different online shopping carts, ensuring everything looked good and the sizes were right.
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"I love these" Kai murmured, pointing at the faded cheetah denim jeans.
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"They're fire right?" I said, smiling as I stared at them for a moment.
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I planned to wear a cute black bodysuit with it and a pair of black Golden Goose Hi-Star platform sneakers.
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But only the Golden Goose's that look new—I can't stand the ones that look worn down on purpose.
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"I need a try-on haul when you get this" Kai determined as she looked through my other carts.
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"Duh—I'll have complimentary champagne for you to drink during the try-on" I said, winking at her as she handed the laptop back to me.
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"And mimosas if it's a morning try-on" Kai added with a smile, leaning her head against my shoulder as I began placing each order.
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"You know the drill" I murmured, still focused on finalizing everything, "I'm heading over to Zi's once I finish this if you want to come."
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Kai dramatically huffed, "Buzzkillington? No thank you" she mumbled, naturally earning a small chuckle trom me.
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Kai will not let go of the name she made for my more... level-headed best friend.
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The moment Zion told us to slow down on shots one night, Kai deemed him a buzz kill and started calling him Buzzkillington.
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"You can stay here if you want" I said, placing my last order with a brief tap on my mousepad.
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"It's fine, I have to clean my apartment anyway" Kai determined, standing up from the couch with a dramatic sigh.
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"Need any help?" I instinctively asked her, closing my laptop to stand from the couch with her.
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Kai stretched with a deep groan, shaking her head,
"No it's fine—you go chill with Buzzkillington and I'll see you later" she said as I adjusted the cropped black t-shirt I wore with matching leggings.
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"Kay-kay," I singsonged, walking away from her to slip on a jacket and a pair of chunky New Balance's.
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I brushed my dark hair that was still in waves from yesterday's blowout, adding some hair oil before spraying some perfume.
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Then I grabbed my keys and walked with Kai out of my apartment.
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***
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Zion's apartment was a short ten-minute drive, heading away from downtown to the University District neighborhood.
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He liked being closer to school compared to the rest of us.
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Then again, computer science is a hard fucking major—one that I'm also under.
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I just half-ass it enough to pass because all that matters is the degree, but Zion takes it a little more seriously.
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Luckily, Sid tries to chill him out sort of.
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But she's also serious about school so it works for them.
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I think that was clear after they met in a study group and hit it off ever since.
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Now they've been dating since freshman year and recently moved in together last year during our junior term.
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"Miss me?" I said with a smile, walking into the apartment past Zion who had a face mask on.
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"I think seeing you all over Twitter was enough for me" Zion sarcastically said as he closed the door.
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I rolled my eyes, "But I'm so much more entertaining in person" I pointed out, walking over to the kitchen island to sit down across from Sid who was preparing lunch.
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"I don't know, you were pretty entertaining on Twitter" Sid said with her usual smile, grabbing the slices of bread from the toaster when they popped up.
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I smirked, "The other guy looked worse didn't he?" I joked with her as she began adding ham and cheese to the sandwich.
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"You smashed a bottle over his head" Zion laughed, sitting down beside me at the kitchen island.
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"He deserved it" I determined with a nonchalant shrug.
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"All guys do" Sid agreed with me until Zion gave her a dramatically narrowed look, "Except for you babe."
Zion lazily raised his brows, "Right," he mumbled, side-eyeing both of us as Sid cut the sandwich she made in half and then handed the plate to Zion.
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"Thank you" Zion said, already reaching for one of the sandwich halves.
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Sid hummed in response, grabbing the bag of cheddar chips.
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As she poured some onto his plate, I began eyeing the late lunch she had made, suddenly wanting a sandwich too.
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"Yours is next, Riv. Don't worry," Sid said before I could ask, adding a sliced pickle spear to Zion's plate as well.
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"Thank god," I sighed dramatically, leaning back in my chair like I was a famished blue-collared worker coming home from a long shift, "You made that sandwich look divine."
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"This shit is divine," Zion mumbled as he chewed the bite of his sandwich that he took, grabbing some of the chips to stuff inside his sandwich.
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Fuck, I can't wait to dig into a nice sandwich.
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"I can cook, I can clean—"
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"But let me tell you, I got this ring," I cut Sid short, finishing the Cardi B lyrics she altered slightly.
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Sid grabbed the nearby spoon, holding it like a microphone, "Gobble me, swallow me—"
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"Alright," Zion cut his girlfriend short with an amused smile, shaking his head at us.
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I only laughed along with Sid—stealing one of Zion's chips as I waited for my sandwich.
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I swear I started eating immediately when Sid set a freshly made sandwich in front of me, basking in the toasted bread and soft cheese and ham.
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I also added chips inside of the sandwich for an extra crunch and flavor.
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It was heavenly.
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At least until I got a text from my mother.
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Mary: I've arranged your therapy session with Dr. Nine Luccino for Friday at 10 AM. I've sent the address separately. Don't be late, this is non-negotiable.
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I furrowed my brows, reading over the address she actually sent.
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Then I processed the stoic follow-up text—and the fact that she was actually serious about therapy.
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Fuck.
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"Riv?" Zion suddenly cut into my thoughts, causing my stare to snap away from my phone.
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But even then I was still dazed, processing that I would really be going to therapy.
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Why can't my mother just focus on her own life?
I'm a grown-ass adult at this point and she's still micromanaging me.
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"Are you okay?" Sid asked, sitting down with us to eat her freshly made sandwich.
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I nodded before I could think it through, "Yeah, my mom's just on her bullshit again," I mumbled, sighing as I locked my phone.
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I don't technically have to do therapy.
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Like I can go but not speak or anything.
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Right?
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"Mare bear is on your ass huh?" Zion said, using the nickname he made for my mother back when we were kids.
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When she was softer and nicer.
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All before my dad died.
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"Yeah and this shit is so fucking annoying," I said, standing from my seat to clean my half-empty plate off.
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I'm not hungry anymore.
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"I swear it's a nerve only my mother can press," I sighed, pressing on the trash can pedal to open it and dump the leftover food.
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"She scares me honestly," Sid said as she took a bite of her sandwich.
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I lazily raised my brows, "She wishes she scared me," I mumbled dryly, rinsing my plate off in the sink.
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"What is she up to now?" Zion curiously asked, popping a cheddar chip into his mouth.
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"Therapy," I said blankly, opening the dishwasher and putting my plate in, "She's forcing me to do therapy— like imagine being that self-controlling and absorbed over your public image that you force your child into therapy for your own benefit."
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My ears are burning—and so is my face.
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"That's fucked up," Sid said, setting her sandwich down as she chewed the bite she took, "Maybe try to spin it for your own benefit—use therapy as a way to heal instead," she offered.
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It was a good idea-a fucking amazing one really.
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But it also gives my mother what she wants, a weird polished version of myself.
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People are allowed to be messy and make mistakes, especially at my age.
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"That's a great idea, Sid, genuinely," I said, wiping my hands on the dish towel, "But I refuse to give my mother what she fucking wants—so I will be doing the literal opposite."
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Sid pursed her lips into a smile, "I figured that's what you would say," she said as Zion nodded.
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"Just don't get so lost in trying to prove a point to her that you lose yourself," Zion warned me, grabbing the glass of water to take a sip.
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"I could never lose someone so damn fabulous, Zi" I joked with my signature smirk, throwing the dish towel at him, which landed on his plate.
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Zion shook his head, "You and your massive ego, Riv." he said, moving the towel away from his plate which barely had any food left on it.
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"You love it," I singsonged, walking towards the door so I could leave.
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Mostly because I wanted to rant to Kai about all of this.
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Don't get me wrong, I love Zion—he's been my best friend since I was a child, compared to Kai who I met in my freshman year of college.
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But he doesn't understand it.
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He has two loving parents who constantly shower him with love and support.
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Meanwhile, Kai and I bonded over our unavailable parents when we first met.
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Except her situation felt more complex, given her mom willingly left her to start a new family when she divorced her dad.
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It doesn't help that her dad is a surgeon and always focused on working.
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He never made time for Kai, instead he threw himself further into work when the divorce happened.
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Kai was only ten years old without a mom to help her navigate her teen years—and then she barely had a present dad.
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At least my mother taught me the necessary stuff like periods or shaving.
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She also got me my first bra.
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The only difference compared to other mothers was how serious Mary was, every encounter with her felt like a business meeting.
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"I'll see you guys tomorrow if you're free," I said, opening the front door.
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"We could do dinner," Sid suggested, earning a nod from me.
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"Dinner it is—text me a good time tomorrow" I said, giving them my flashiest air kiss, "Love you guys."
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"Love you," they both said in sync.
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Zion suddenly turned around to cast his full attention on me, "Don't do anything crazy, Riv" he said, knowing me entirely too well.
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I held my hand dramatically to my heart, "Me? Never" I sarcastically said, flashing him a smile before I walked out of their apartment entirely.
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Then I was focused back on this therapy situation, heading down to my car and texting Kai to come to my place once she was done cleaning.
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I swear my nerves were on this weird teetering edge, even as I drove toward the downtown neighborhood, Belltown, where my apartment was.
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Kai had fortunately responded and said she would be over in the next hour, so I went ahead and prepared a quick cocktail that consisted of vodka and cranberry juice.
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It was only a little past four, but I really didn't care.
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I desperately needed to calm my nerves.
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Kai joined me when she finally got to my place, making herself a glass and sitting beside me on the couch.
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"I knew she was going to go through with it" Kai said, taking a long sip of her wine as I focused on my Macbook.
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"She finally had time in her day to think about someone besides herself for once" I mumbled in irritation, clicking the enter button on my keyboard as I reached for my glass on the side table by me.
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"I would only think about myself if I was her too" Kai subtly murmured, which earned a blank look from me.
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"Stop mind fucking my mother for once" I said, narrowing my eyes at her when she raised her hands in defense.
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"It's hard being a mommy defender, on god" Kai said, setting her glass down as she glanced over to my laptop screen displaying the Google search I inputted, "Who's this?"
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I sighed, glancing back over to the bright screen that displayed numerous articles and pictures of one particular woman, "The hypnotherapist" I mumbled, clicking on one of the recent articles.
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Apparently, she's world-renowned.
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No surprise there given my mother's standards, but at least the fame that this woman has gives me something to go off of.
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Like numerous articles and pictures.
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"Nine Luccino" Kai read her name from the bold article title that read: Off The Clock With Dr. Luccino.
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I scrolled further down, briefly overviewing the article that quoted various interests that my newly made therapist had outside of work.
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It was boring stuff like literature, hiking, expanding her culinary skills, listening to someone called Miles Davis and—
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Bars?
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One bar specifically that she pointed out.
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I think I can work with that.
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"The Archive," I murmured the name aloud, motioning to the article that Kai read with me.
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"I'm drawn to places with personality, she says" Kai quoted, reading along with me, "Her evenings often consist of a Negroni Sbagliato—I think that's how you fucking say it" she said, furrowing her brows at the unfamiliar drink.
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Meanwhile, I read further down in the article, but I was mostly left unimpressed by her philosophical answer about a literal bar.
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"It's less about overindulgence and more about restoration. Think of it as a space to unwind and reflect."
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Of course, she refers to drinking as overindulgence.
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I can't work with this at all.
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She's so fucking boring.
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"Therapy is going to suck" I sighed, shaking my head at this boring ass article.
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"At least she goes to bars and looks... sort of young?" Kai said, trying to look at the bright side for my sake.
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I clicked the back button, reading over what Google displayed of her, "She's twenty-nine" I said, now wondering what she'd be able to relate to.
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She won't understand any of my experiences.
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"That's not bad," Kai said, reading over the screen.
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I groaned dramatically, "It's so bad-she sounds boring as fuck," I said, already hating this entire situation.
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"I mean she's somewhat interesting, Ri" Kai said, now grabbing my laptop to navigate back to the article, "Maybe check out that bar... Archive I think it was. You might like the environment and maybe she'll be there."
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I laughed through my nose, "Right, so I should stalk my therapist?" I sarcastically said, shaking my head at her insane idea.
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Sometimes she can be more insane than me.
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Keyword: Sometimes.
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"No, she wouldn't necessarily know you're going for her—she doesn't even know you yet" Kai quickly clarified, raising a brow at me, "You said you didn't want to do therapy—maybe this is your way."
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I tilted my head, unsure of what she was suggesting right now.
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Kai let out a dramatic sigh at my confusion, "You meet her as someone normal-not as her patient and maybe..." she trailed off when I gave her a skeptical look, "You know flirt with her and then she'll see you at your first session and say it's too inappropriate to continue on as your therapist."
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I raised a brow at her idea, finding it smart for once.
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"That's actually not a bad idea" I murmured in thought, knowing if I met her on an inappropriate basis she would most likely drop me as a patient.
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And my mother definitely won't find the time again to search for another therapist.
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"But what I just end up with another fucking therapist?" I pointed out, shaking my head as I weighed the pros and cons of all this.
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There's a small possibility my mother would find the time.
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"Just do the same thing-over and over again. Try to meet them first" Kai suggested, nodding a few times at her impulsive idea, "You know I'm right."
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I rolled my eyes, mostly because she was right and now giving me a smartass look right now, "Fuck off," I mumbled, reaching for my glass to take another sip of the terrible cocktail.
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"Fuck me," Kai smoothly twisted my words back to me.
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"Get me drunk enough and I will" I didn't hesitate to say, setting my glass back down over on the side table.
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"Well, there is this bar.." Kai subtly trailed off.
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Which earned a groan from me, "I can't do your insane plan," I said, giving my best friend a narrowed look. It's smart but it's insane. "Besides do you think she would actually drop me as a patient over this?"
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Kai shrugged, "There's only one way to find out," she determined, giving me a knowing look, "It's also the only plan you have other than going to therapy."
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She's right.
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It is the only way, and I'm pretty good at flirting...
Dr. Luccino also isn't unattractive.
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I dramatically sighed, "I guess I'll fucking do it" I determined even if this was an insane plan.
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But I'm insane so...
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Kai immediately jumped up from the couch, clapping happily to herself.
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"But I'm going alone" I quickly added, knowing that bringing my best friend along might be a recipe for disaster.
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Odds are Kai being there will easily make me fuck this all up, even if she's helping me from afar.
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We might both end up laughing and fuck it all up.
"I could sit far away" Kai offered, following me as I walked out of the living room.
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"There's no way" I said, walking into my bedroom as Kai ran over to plop onto my bed, "I won't be able to be serious with you there, Kai."
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I seriously can't believe I'm going through with this.
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But at the same time, it's necessary if I want to get out of therapy and piss my mother off.
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I can't wait to see how she reacts when she hears about Dr. Luccino dropping me for unsaid reasons.
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Kai sighed as she stretched out on my bed, "I can wear all black to blend in," she said as I walked into my closet.
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"Right, because that's not fucking obvious," I sarcastically said, sifting through the different short dresses hanging up.
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I don't even know the vibe of this bar and I've been to almost every bar in the downtown radius of Seattle.
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"Okay then we'll match outfits," Kai offered as I continued looking through the different dresses, grabbing the ones I liked and folding them over my arm.
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"Either we'll end up in a full laugh attack or shit-faced—you can't come with me" I called out from my closet, now moving over to my jackets hanging up and grabbing a few that would match my dresses.
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"Fine, but I want every detail of the night—even if she's not there and it doesn't work out" Kai said as I walked out of my closet, heading over to my bed where I laid out the different outfit choices.
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At least I knew I wanted to wear a dress.
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The only issue was which one.
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It took me almost thirty minutes to decide on the cheetah slip dress lined with black lace at the hem.
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Then I settled on the long black coat, pairing it with black heels and gold jewelry that I set off to the side with the coat.
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I had to do my hair and makeup before getting dressed, but planning my outfit was already a step in the right direction.
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It didn't take long to pull my hair into a sleek high ponytail, gelling down my edges and curling a few pieces of my hair since yesterday's blowout wasn't as prominent.
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I did a natural amount of makeup with faint brown eyeliner, lining my lips in brown and putting on a nude-pink lipgloss over it.
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I slid on my heels and jewelry last, grabbing my stiletto-shaped perfume bottle called Good Girl and spraying it on before I slipped my coat on.
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The nerves officially hit me upon exiting my apartment with Kai.
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Or more like the realization did.
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I'm going to a bar that my therapist mentioned in an article I found from cyber-stalking her, and now I'm purposely going to flirt with her.
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It definitely sounds unhinged.
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But I want to do this.
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I need to if I don't want to sit through therapy.
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