我是季妍，出版界筆耕多年的小小插畫家一枚。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaImXn9YIYx
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByeCWuzItU
我熱愛我的工作，作畫迅速從不拖稿的我，筆耕之餘還在家裡開了繪畫教室騙騙小朋友，幾年下來，事業小成的我有了幾個足以讓我膨脹的稱號---出版界稱我“季快手”，學生叫我季老師…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLkaECS6I5
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHRqK0ybX9
但，這些，都不及我另一個稱號來得“響亮”。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBp3P30wHFa
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpC3iH0vMgh
這個稱號是婆婆取的，她叫我~~“無~蛋~雞”~~~486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuO74nKgSs
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4NCJAvxnJG
是的，你沒聽錯，因為在她眼中，我就是隻生不出蛋的老母雞。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErCzlblovF
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpv276OqvN
也許是怕我日子太無聊了吧，老天爺給了我一個全世界最棒的老公，卻又買一送一的附贈了個機車婆婆，結婚三年來，生不出半顆蛋的我早已被她嫌到十八層地獄，偏偏她老人家想盡辦法就是無法把我從“楊昕然老婆”的位置踢下來，因為她兒子超疼老婆…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI43FLllqRG
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUV3XX2TXc0
呵~~~你看她煩不煩哪！486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ukcXUp7wg
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSO4ez6w33
媳婦的肚子沒動靜，兒子又越來越“老”（明明才32歲），眼看楊家就要斷子絕孫了，婆婆的焦慮越來越嚴重，於是她開始檢討我敷不出蛋的可能原因……486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJ9pw9r69h
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQtTSvZUgd
吃冰、吹冷氣……好，我改。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGUceI4Rpa
熬夜……對，我的錯。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VRYBWEq5c
使用便宜水彩顏料……便宜？一盒幾千486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSDsaxpsS7
的“林布蘭特”？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYyYEAGs75
呼吸的空氣有毒……好吧，我可以不呼486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI80SRRjsSY
吸了……486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fxdvVC4Xc
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4NwcRGjTC
總而言之，親愛的婆婆把所有生不出孩子的原因都歸到我身上，偏偏怪東怪西就是不怪她兒子…有一次她親愛的兒子終於看不下去了…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrc7G1eiCj
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkYln7PzBH
「搞不好是我的精子有問題啊」，楊昕然先生說。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WkJwghrVZ
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnegwUqDLSC
「胡說，我們楊家的精子怎麼會有問題」，婆婆嚴厲否認。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjTeGaAted
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdVamp7cAu
噢，對了，說到精子，我老公是窩在手機堆裡寫APP程式的程式設計師。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFskq6htKQ
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qmv6mJOlu
所以他的精子“絕對”沒問題。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5W3EOmPu6
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPFpAkup0m
唉~寶貝兒子沒有錯，生不出蛋的媳婦趕不走，婆婆的日子簡直沒法過了。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbGTQHCe7P
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7K00zavZVY
怎麼辦？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcm5oEoUZu
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ721Jg6uHQF
能怎麼辦？…只好叫媳婦多多“努力”囉！486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9PU4YqVw0t
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAoFYVthjZ
於是，親愛的婆婆天天督促我，天天督促我，電台賣的成藥我當飯吃、全臺灣的乩童都成了婆婆的FB好友，對婆婆來說，乩童的話就是聖旨，乩童叫我做什麼我都得照做……為此我吞了香灰、喝了符水、嚐遍了你想像不到的噁心東西…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLuDD8pwxZ
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNyJPWhbRC
但，這麼“乖巧”的我，那天還是爆發了…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDgIO5xbcR
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUKep6e0W0
因為婆婆叫我去跪“她娘家”的祖先！486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgOmGWZXyZ
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPXcOVUeSN
「為什麼我得去跪妳媽的（ps:這不是髒話）祖先」？…我心頭一驚。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8g7NYPRVDj
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2W1dtTFnCz
「大師說妳祖先得罪我娘家祖先，所以祖先不要妳的種」，婆婆舒適的窩在客廳沙發上削著我剛買回來的西洋梨，「除非你向我娘家祖先下跪道歉，不然」…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4x3KebYpr9
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5AGmlgmMt
「下跪道歉」？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7E63e6Zcb
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5ADHYbZmT
「沒錯」，婆婆繼續削梨子，「所以明天妳跟我回」…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaICNntRXbu
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXW42PyxEs5
「~！…、☆○＞□＾」…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfG7YA5qVD
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4ClhKpSb5
不知是不是方才喝的水果啤酒太上頭了，明明早已對婆婆的刻薄言語“免疫”的我，竟然被區區幾句話惹火了，於是，當婆婆終於消滅了難纏的梨子皮，準備享受她的勞動成果…的前一秒，我突然伸手搶走她的梨子…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfHRAFy5vV
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeVKirfGth
「接下來還有什麼」？我紅著眼問。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVP7Q0fO4QV
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjucrgR8Na
「蛤」？這是我嫁入楊家以來第一次對婆婆發飆，可能是不習慣這樣的我吧，婆婆完全愣住了。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRujBvSVyt7
　　486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGDb5m4DOX
「我說…接下來妳還要怎麼“玩”我」？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfUW4SIBA5
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iS5jSGqXy
「什麼“玩”妳」？婆婆盯著被我搶走的梨子，一臉的莫名，「我還不是為妳好」…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOnJmRn4xv
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOD7mte5Sdf
「為我好」？我氣笑了，「原來逼我喝符水吃香灰吃到拉肚子是為我好」…我咬牙切齒的用梨子指著婆婆…的鼻子，「摸摸良心吧！如果今天安然生不出來妳會這樣對她嗎」？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPsct8w3pU
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jZSFacQhU
PS:楊安然---昕然的妹妹，某私立大學夜間部學生，楊家的寶貝，也是婆婆絕不能踩的大地雷…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFfJAtQFd1
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9nseA0PxH
但此刻氣瘋的我竟然踩下去了！486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBsBpwWSi5
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUOkfU2XxF
「妳…妳這隻無蛋雞」！婆婆果不其然的…炸了，她憤然站起，把我手中的梨子搶去狠砸在地，「妳敢詛咒我女兒跟妳一樣沒蛋！妳…妳給我滾出去」！486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9cXJxapGc
　　486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4TStEcmFY
「為什麼我要滾」？我叉腰繼續做死，「這裡是我家耶」！486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVM2sqjAuk
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNl64iFbe3u
是的，這間位於碧潭河畔三房一廳的小屋是我和老公浪漫的家，我的婆家“遠”在五十公尺外，但我忘了婆婆是老公最親愛的老媽，更忘了婆婆是個多麼愛演的老太太。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ssTJPokhg
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqzobadm4S
「妳…」…罵著罵著，婆婆竟然一屁股坐在地上嚎啕大哭起來~「嗚嗚~~我是造了什麼孽啊！年輕的時候為楊家做牛做馬，好不容易當了婆婆，還要被媳婦糟蹋」…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGH4b3ypC7P
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5jrwxxjob
「媽」…唉…又來了…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPV56F36S1
　　486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2ccivVO8C
我無奈的揉揉眉心，一邊讚嘆婆婆的“演技”，只是……這裡只有我和婆婆，她能演給誰看？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGS6y61C9N
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2WxDJatay
咦…不對……486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6A2w6bFyrS
　　486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFX7D9x1RSd
我看了看電視上方的大圓鐘…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZTg7D5sn0
　　486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TgHv9JovH
呵…果然…老公接安然放學快到家了。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Z3srpJtUF
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKRhlUpekL
「我的命怎麼這麼苦啊…嗚嗚嗚」…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GoFRlmLnG
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK6hKgUhG69
我無奈的看著眼前演得興起的婆婆，孝順的兒女快回來了，而苦命的母親還坐在地板上哭天搶地，可想而知，幾分鐘後這個家會有多“熱鬧”。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQMyB0gkpN
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV9RKLLeQW
「唉」…我忍不住歎氣…唉…又是這樣…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3DKPUzlHA
　　486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7qY5I3BNq
我很清楚如何避免即將到來的衝突…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIy0fx5cCe
　　486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSgcFN99FA
不就是答應去跟“她媽的”祖先下跪道歉嗎？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFbTQSfWOT
　　486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4abZpooSP
下跪，簡單，但接下來呢？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmCwFSfvJy
　　486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUhSFEysBE
只要我變不出孩子，婆婆永遠有新的花招等著我…486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVgQVWJH9B
　　486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdKUbOKezW
我已經陪婆婆玩兩年了，這樣的日子我還得熬多久？486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4utBJZOGBs
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZlZvz6woT
　　　　我 受 夠 了！！！486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4b2PJmwCU
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4VaBzPOfb
「妳慢慢哭吧」，婆婆的哭聲幾乎穿透了天際，但我已經不在乎了…在一片空白的思緒中，我恍惚的握住了大門門把…「我~~不幹了」！486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8INkyICii
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhb9p28tWf9
“ 砰”！！~~的一聲…婆婆的哭嚎聲被留在了門後。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFE9JPXi8h8
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqPso5GNcn
我走出門外，迎接我的是愁煞人的秋雨，十月的碧潭剛迎來入秋第一道寒流，冰冷的雨絲一根根扎入我毫無防護的雙臂，我知道我該回頭，但我無路可退。486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWetXEEthF
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFuzFcXGWf
退不得，那就跑吧！486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkDjlortOx
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpFSFmIu3L
於是我開始拼命奔跑、拼命奔跑……486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44tak7i3Y7
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OgQtzWqaT
萬萬想不到，這一跑，竟跑出了我的第一個孩子，還有那短暫卻一生難忘的姐妹情誼……486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIMdB844ti
486Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4u8IYMpqmf
這是一個很短、很短的故事，如果您允許的話，請容我用旁觀者的角度，向您娓娓道來吧。