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‘He managed to get the account changed over to Don’s name. It was easier that way to hide it. And I did my best to add to it whenever I could. More often than not I found myself handing Don wads of cash because I hardly ever got the chance to go to a bank.’ Austin explained. ‘It would’ve looked suspicious considering I was only 15 and not in charge of my own finances. It was insanely awkward between me and Don those first few times. I couldn’t look him in the eyes. Disguising the cash in an envelope helped slightly. I could pretend I was giving him literally anything else like a nice card or something.’
‘So, was Don just alright with you and your father sharing this money with him?’ Sofia asked. ‘You said that Charlie hated feeling like you were treating him like a charity case. Might’ve Don not felt the same?’
‘He definitely did. It took a lot of convincing for him to take it. Don was incredibly independent. Had been since he was a child. Don was used to providing for himself. He would much rather struggle to earn the money himself than just take it from us. He didn’t even like taking money from his own son let alone me. But Don liked our definition of a safety net. He didn’t have to use the money but it was there if he needed it which he definitely did when Charlie got into university. God that place was expensive. One thing I quickly noticed was that he was very strict about only using it for Charlie’s education. More so than my father was.’ A slight frown appeared on Austin’s face as the memories came flooding back into his mind. ‘There was a time when we were convinced the Summer’s household was cursed. Everything seemed to go wrong. Things were constantly breaking but still he refused to use the money to replace or fix anything, even after I insisted it was okay. Instead he took a second part time job doing work for a family who lived down the street. It pained me to see how overworked and tired he was and not be able to do anything about it.’
‘He was too proud to accept the money from you.’
‘Don wouldn’t even let me loan him the money. Said it would be too complicated to try and explain to Charlie how he suddenly had the money to pay for the necessary repairs.’
‘Charlie never found out about the account.’ Sofia guessed as she glanced up sharply from her notes. ‘Did anyone else?’
‘To my knowledge it was only me, my father and Don that knew about it.’ Austin said. ‘And obviously people from the bank but after my father transferred the account it was only Don that dealt with them face to face. Apart from my name being on a few documents, there was very little ways to connect me with that account. Like I said, I gave Don cash in person.’
‘Was it difficult to keep it a secret?’
‘From Charlie, yes. It was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do. Normally, I told him everything. He was my best friend, my only friend. My confidant. It made me feel physically sick lying to him. He worried about his dad’s financial situation all the time. Charlie felt guilty that he couldn’t get a job and help pay for things. Don’t get me wrong, he got part-time jobs whenever he had the time and worked like an absolute trojan during the summer break but he still felt that he could do more to ease the burden. All I wanted to do was pay for everything in his life so he never had to worry. I wanted him to live the life he deserved.’ Austin ran his fingers through his messy hair, wincing loudly as the tangled mess brushed against his grazed palm. The pain brought him back down to earth as he bade the thoughts of Charlie to go back into the deepest corner of his mind. ‘My mother on the other hand, she was a lot easier to hide it from. She was oblivious to a lot of things that went on around her. Especially when she was drinking.’
‘Did your father find it difficult to hide from her?’ Sofia asked.
‘I have no idea. Obviously at the start when he was getting the money to set up the account by working, I didn’t even know. My father was good at keeping his secrets. Too good…’ Austin’s voice drifted off.
‘Would you like to take a break?’ Sofia reached her hand across the table and gingerly rested it on top of Austin’s. ‘I know this is… a tender subject so its perfectly understandable if you need a minute.’
‘Why delay the inevitable?’ Austin shrugged. ‘I need to talk about it sometime today. Might as well get it over with.’
‘Are you sure? We can easily stop for a breather. Even if it’s just for a few minutes.’
‘I don’t want to stop!’ Austin cried as he snatched his hand back. ‘I want to get this over with so I can get out of here.’
‘That’s alright.’ Sofia reassured him. ‘It’s just that I wanted to remind you that we can stop whenever you want to. Just say the word. I know from personal experience how difficult this can be to talk about.’
‘Of course its fucking difficult!’ Austin slammed his fists on the table with a loud bang. ‘He died! One minute he was there and the next he was gone. I never even got to say goodbye to him. And you know what my mother said when she heard? Who’s going to carry my bags when I go shopping now?’ He felt the rage rising in him as he shot daggers at Sofia, causing her to squirm uncomfortably in her hard plastic chair. ‘All that woman cared about was herself when I had just lost one of the only people who was truly there for me. She didn’t care that he died.’ He held his head in hands as he stared at the floor. Austin took in deep shaky breaths as the anger slowly left his body. ‘I didn’t get to tell him how much I loved him.’
Sofia watched him silently for a moment before getting to her feet and walking round the table to stand beside him. She hesitantly rested a hand on his shoulder as she crouched down to be on the same level as him.
‘What happened to him?’
‘Cancer. Terminal. He never said a word.’ Austin hastily wiped away the tear that was threatening to roll down his cheek. ‘I’d like to think he would have eventually told me if his illness hadn’t beaten him to it. He collapsed on the street. Never woke up. It’s funny how you never notice the signs until it’s too late.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘How tired and ill he always looked. How pale and thin he was. How he couldn’t stop coughing. How he disappeared for hours on end with no explanation. How-how… I should have noticed.’
‘In my opinion, your father was trying to protect you by not telling you. He would have been doing everything in his power to keep it from you. Because that’s what parents do.’
‘Do you have kids?’ Austin glanced at Sofia out of the corner of his eye.
‘A step son. Wyatt.’
‘You seem like you would be a good mum.’ Austin nodded as he sat up straight, Sofia quick to scurry back to her seat in front of him. ‘You’re kind and patient.’
‘Tell that to Wyatt. All he cares about is his video games.’
‘Just tell him that you met a celebrity at work. That always seems to catch people’s attention.’
‘No, I’m not going to tell him that. That would be breaking our confidentiality and I’m not going to do that.’ Sofia watched Austin’s face closely. ‘What happened with your father was tragic, but you cannot blame yourself for not knowing what he was going through.’
‘Charlie told me that too. Didn’t help in the slightest. Nothing did after he died. Nothing was the same. I didn’t have my protection. Mother made me leave school. Booked more jobs. Had me working all the time.’
‘How did that make you feel?’
‘At the time I was actually glad of it. I was sick of everyone at school constantly asking me how I felt and attempting to cheer me up and make me feel better. It didn’t work. None of it worked. Instead, it made me feel crazy. The work on the other hand distracted me. Made me forget, even if it was just for a little while.’
‘How long did that last?’
‘Not nearly long enough. Because then I came crashing down to earth. It all got too much for me. I wasn’t…’ Austin hesitated. ‘I wasn’t coping. Not in the slightest. My mother didn’t care. Nobody did. Nobody except Charlie. Charlie was the only one there for me. The only one who kept me going. Who kept me living.’
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