I have a rather vast lexicon, yet at that moment my words had been eaten. No sentence I could formulate could accurately describe what had transpired over the past few days. The closest description that my mind could ponder when reciting the event was that ‘The world came to life.’ And yes I know that for fact that on that day vicissitudes burst into vermillion and the immutable dissolved into irony.
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I remember a life where the first leak of sunlight shone just over the mountainous horizon, and the world drenched in life was made anew. I could experience that crisp view, hold my fingers close to my eye and pretend as though it fit between my fingertips. I know that view still remains just as it was yet through my eyes fogged by sorrow I can no longer find it comforting. The one whom I would share this view with through my small bedroom window has left me.
I acknowledge that it is chimerical to believe that they will return home someday, or rather, chimerical to believe that this location could define my home. The solitude is so circumferential reaching no end. Yes this is simply a mirage of a domicile and as I descend down this staircase the world becomes nothing more than an amaranth void. Everything was dyed amaranth on that day, and that one who did it has left me.
I accept that my domicile has become a volcano in it's dormant stage a showcase where all remains the same. The scene was meant for festivities, my birthday has become a place where verdant virulence pervades my dining table. Amaranthine cupcakes I made for me I dare not caress. For the one I promised I would consume them with has left me.
"Why?" A voice emerges from the corner, even though I stand in this room alone as the only carnal one. Yet perhaps this voice descends from one of the virulence?
"I see no problem worthy of asking such a question." I answer blandly, it's a plant, there's no way a plant could know anything about the one who has left me.
"I see that you do not remember, I am someone very close to you, the one who you et constantly shape your life. Now it's time to expand your horizon shape your own life. Now open the doors you let hold you back for so long. You'll find me waiting on the other side."
"No! You can't do this to me, I never did anything wrong!" I gripped the purple cupcake in my hand the one I had saved and threw it at the plant. "Its not fair why do you always do this to me?!" I grab another one smearing it across my kitchen counter. When I look up my amaranth void polished to shine was complete desastre of purple cake and frosting. "I'm a mess" I murmur hopelessly falling onto my knees.
"Perfect" I can hear the plant say, grinning almost mockingly.
As my door swings open according to it's mrant odus operandi I desperately reach to close it. I've become a mess the eye lurking behind that door cannot see me! I've become so pitiful, so stupid I don't want to ever be found again. However the light now directly bathes my face in its reassuring warmth and for a moment the plaster of my grimace shifted into a smile.
I stumble towards the door, now it's only my own disarray that confines me to this spot. Yet it is now what motivates my legs to push forward in a beautiful contradiction. That's what I am and standing in the doorway I see who you were all along. The vibrant hue to my world of monochrome. Above all of that however I see that you have never left me.
That was the day I returned to you and we completed my birthday party. The gift from my love I never opened was a small bonsai tree and a set of water color paints. I opened my card which read, "I'm so happy you're back home."
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