We arrive at Ross' and I get out of the car feeling alright, not normal, but not like I'm holding my breath all the time. I'm quite proud actually of myself for not falling apart. Matty kisses me as they park behind us. He does make a point of pulling his hands through my hair, and chuckling at my scarf. I laugh with him, and tell him that at least it's keeping me warm. He retorts saying only I could make a scarf look sexy. I playfully swat him with my hand.
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"Ready to go raid Ross' place" Rach laughs getting out of the car. She sighs looking at us engulfed in each other's arms.
I laugh and open up the door. I've only been to Ross' once maybe twice maximum and I don't know where everything is. I step in and wander around. We grab him some snacks from his cupboard placing them in the bag, then we head up to his room.
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Matty grabs Ross some boxers and socks and dumps them in the bag. Rach is busy looking at the photos on his wall. There's a whole bunch of group shots from before I knew him and I glance over and smile at how young and cute he looked.
"Hey do you remember this one" she says to Matty pointing to a picture of Matty and Jay in Ross' kitchen both holding beers together. Jay has his arm around Matty like they are brothers and they both are wearing no shirts. Jay has less tattoos in the picture and he looks happy and carefree. Matty looks drop dead gorgeous. His hand is mid way through his hair and he's smiling.
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"Ah you both look so young" I say smiling at them.
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"Yeah that was what 2 maybe 3 years ago" Matty chuckles. I glance at Jay and he smiles back at me openly. He looks more innocent in his picture, and all together nice.
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Then I spot another picture. Just on from this one, I follow Matty's eye line and see a group picture of all of us. I don't even remember it being taken but I'm sure it was the night after mine and Matty's first date. I'm wearing my red dress and heeled boots. I look hot and I don't recognise it as me.
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I'm posed in between Ross and Matty of course. Matty has his arm around my back. Rach is standing next to Ross on the other side.
"That's a lovely picture of you" Matty says.
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"When was this?" Jay asks laughing.
"And why wasn't I invited?" He jokes.
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"This is the first and only time I went to one of Ross' parties" I say.
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"And it's the time you gave Matty that lap dance" Rach laughs.
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"So it is" Matty remembers smiling.
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"I was so drunk." I laugh.
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"If you guys come out tonight maybe you could both give us lap dances" Jay says including Rach and she smiles.
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"Good try" I snort.
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I pick out some shirts and trousers for Ross and some jogging bottoms. I fold them and place them in the bag.
I then browse his book collection and smile at all of his books. He has the classics, I pick out wuthering heights. When I flick through it I notice he has put his own notes in the margins. I start reading his notes unaware of the others around me. Ross is bright, he likes reading into little things and he's got a depth to him that I hadn't seen before.
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Matty places his hand on my back.
"He wanted a book" I say quietly.
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"What did you pick" he asks softly. Eyes looking into mine.
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"Wuthering heights" I tell him smiling. He wraps his arms around my waist.
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"Wuthering what now?" Rach laughs out loud.
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"It's a classic" Jay says to her and she sighs. He shakes his head laughing.
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Jay stares at me, then looks away as Matty kisses me on the cheek. I place the book in the bag along with a couple more and then we decide we're all set. I tidy up his room a little for when he returns and then we lock up.
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On our way to the hospital, Matty places his hand on my thigh again and rubs me gently.
"You know you've really changed my whole entire life right" he says smiling.
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"How babe" I ask him smiling back.
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"Seeing that picture of me from before it just made me realise how much I have changed, and grown up" he laughs.
"Thank you" he says and means it.
"For being the catalyst that made me into a better person" he chuckles.
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"No problem, my love" I tell him.
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"My love that's new" he chuckles.
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"Sorry it just came out" I laugh.
"I don't have to call you that" I add.
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"Nah I like it" he smiles.
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We park up at the hospital. Second car journey and I'm feeling strong. I get out of the car realising I didn't even think about any of the accident. Jay parks beside us. We walk in together and Matty places his hand in mine. Rach rolls her eyes at me and I smile.
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"You two are coming out tonight" she demands.
"You promised me cocktails soon" she laughs.
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"Okay how's about we buy some stuff on the way out of hospital to make actual cocktails with" I laugh.
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"See perfect" Rach says smiling.
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"Where the party anyways?" Matty asks Jay.
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"Ryan's again" Jay says.
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I check my phone and ask Rhea if she's partying tonight. She texts back yes and that she can't wait to catch up. I go through outfits in my mind. My red dress? Or my new black dress. Or I could wear my leather trousers and heels? I'll have a think. It is snowing. I might wear my new burgundy top that makes my boobs look awesome and my leather trousers and heels.
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"Hey Rach, do you wanna get ready together?" I ask her.
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She practically beams at me.
"Hell yes, we can practice making our cocktails too" she laughs.
"I'll just need to pick up some stuff and then head to yours?" She says.
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"I'll take you" Jay says to her. Inviting himself along.
"Thanks babe" she smiles at him.
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I smile at them both, who new we could all get along so well.
"I have to ask is Jen going" I say quietly.
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"Nah we haven't seen her in time" Jay says.
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"Yeah we haven't seen her since the fashion show" Rach adds
"She doesn't even know about Ross" she says.
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I hope with everything that I have that she doesn't turn up. I'm going out tonight and I'm going to look exceptional.
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