The next day I have dance rehearsals all day. I work hard, my solo is fantastic and I get to see my costume. It's a black deep v leotard with straps and a tutu with dark sequins. It's gorgeous and I can't wait to dance in it. I will be graded on my performance. My burlesque costume is maroon, it's a touch revealing but still classy. I equally love it. I decide on inviting Kim for hair and makeup, I text her to see if she can make it. I hope she can.
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At lunch I eat well, and relax with Matty and the others.
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"When's the show Tay?" Rhea asks. She's been busy with assignments and Malachi. Her hairs longer and she looks great in her heeled boots and jeans.
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"It's in two weeks" I say. I sigh wondering how I'm going to even be awake at that time. Since being pregnant I've been asleep by 9pm every night.
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"Okay we will be there." She says smiling.
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"Yeah Tay we will be too" Rach says meaning her and Brad.
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I look up and Jay just smiles at me. I look away again butterflies making me feel nervous around him. I had some spotting this morning and I googled it and the internet said light spotting is okay but to monitor it. Which I am doing. I haven't actually told Matty yet because I don't wish to worry him unnecessarily. I checked after dance and haven't seen anything since. Should I see anymore I will let him know. He will react immediately and drag me down to the clinic.
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I finish my pasta.
"Thanks guys that will be nice" I say.
We've got a while till next period but I decide I'm going to head to dance early.
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I give Matty a kiss and then leave. He pulls me into him and then says he'll see me at the car later. I laugh and then I'm on my way. He's leaving by 3pm for the exhibit.
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I head off to dance walking slowly. I want to walk and stretch my legs. I walk around the quiet way through the field at the back of university.
"I'm beginning to think we only get to see each other when one of us walks off." He laughs.
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I jump. And then turn around.
"Hey" I say.
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"Hey" he says softly.
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I walk over to him and hug him. I feel emotional and I just want to be close. To my surprise he wraps his arms around me.
"Why did you leave early" Jay says. He looks down at me smiling.
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"Couldn't eat anymore and I just wanted a walk" I tell him.
I step back and he frowns.
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"I'll be at the dance show" he smiles.
"It's like I don't know how much I can say to you whilst everybody else is around" he says after a pause.
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"You don't have to say anything, Jay" I tell him.
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"What you don't want me to say things ? Things like I've missed you all night long, like you look absolutely beautiful, like how is it I think about you all the time." He whispers.
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"Yeah those things you really shouldn't say" I tell him
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"Why" he says brushing my cheek.
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I take his hand and start walking with him. Walking away from everybody else. If I just stand there with him he might kiss me.
"Because you should not be feeling that way about me at all" I say.
I glance up at him quickly and away again. He's actually listening to me for once.
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"I do Taylor, I can't just switch off from it, believe me I've tried that" he says.
"I'm so angry with myself for it, I know you're taken but I want you" he says.
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There's nothing for me to say about it. I can't make this better, I just have to deal with it. But at this present time I don't have the capacity for that. I hug him resting my head in his chest. He feels and smells so nice, Before I get myself into more trouble I kiss his cheek and pull away. I glance at him and he's shocked.
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"I'll see you later" I say to him.
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"No wait Taylor" he says pulling me back into him.
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As I'm facing him he strokes my hair back. I shiver from his touch. He gently strokes my face and my lips with his fingertips.
"I'll give you a ride home later" he whispers after staring at me for a prolonged amount of time.
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"See you then" I whisper.
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I head into dance and go through the process of getting changed. It's a dress rehearsal, so it takes me a while to get done up.
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We go through the performance piece by piece. I feel absolutely fine dancing, it helps me forget everything. I start to realise we've all run over time when we're still dancing and I see Jay appear at the back of the hall. He leans on the side of the wall arms crossed.
As we're finishing up he just watches, not anybody else. Nobody else exists to him.
I walk over at the end and tell him I just need to change. He smiles and follows me to wait outside the changing rooms. Of course all of the others try to get his eye. He is attractive.
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In the changing rooms I hear some of the girls laughing.
"So tall, and muscular and hot" she says.
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"Who is he Tay ?" She laughs. It's Emily. She's quite pretty, red hair and pale skin.
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"Just my friend from psychology, his name is Jay" I tell her.
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"Ohhh nice name too" she smiles.
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"Seriously feel free to try it with him he's pretty good with girls" I say not sure what my plan is here.
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We leave after brushing our hair out and touching up our makeup. I send her out slightly before me and she approaches him. I walk just behind her. He will work his charm over her no doubt. And problem solved.
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"Hey Jay" she says. Ohh not a good start.
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"Hey" he says smiling. And I chuckle.
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"Emily, Jay" I tell him.
"Sorry we ran over time my fault" I say.
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"It's okay Ross is still in English lit" he says.
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"Ohhh Ross who's he?" She eyes me.
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"You've literally seen Ross before, approach him if you wanna get with him" I laugh.
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"Oh that Ross, nah he's pretty devoted" she says.
"To you" she says. She glares at me then smiles.
"Anyways see you tomorrow" she says to me.
I smile and she eyes Jay before she leaves.
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"Number?" She asks him.
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"Ugh but we don't even know each other why would you need it" he asks.
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"Another time then bye Tay" she laughs.
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He looks at me confused and I laugh walking away.
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"You just don't know? Do you?" I say laughing
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"No I know she was hitting on me but I'm not easy, anymore" he chuckles.
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I grab my phone and see that it's 4pm. Matty will have gone already. We walk to the car park together and wait in Jays car.
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"Ross says he'll catch us up" I tell Jay. He starts up his Audi. The music connects to his iPhone and starts playing some maroon five. Just what I expected to be fair. Sunday morning plays from the car and I relax.
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"Her name is Emily" I say.
"She was eyeing you up throughout the rehearsal" I add.
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"She's completely not my type. She's really pushy. Plus I'm in love with somebody else" he laughs.
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"Ah why not she's cute. Who is the lucky girl babe" I ask him.
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"Please. You know I'm in love with you. Hey let's go to mine. I'll drop you back after." He says casually.
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"But I was meant to be cooking" I laugh.
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"Hey we can get takeout or you can cook in my kitchen" he says.
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"Okay" I say.
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"Pull into Sainsbury's I doubt you'll have any stuff in the cupboards." I tell him.
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He laughs and I text Ross the change of plans. He'll be slightly more delayed because of the extra distance.
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He parks up and we head into the shop. We pick up the stuff for curry.
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"Rather beef or chicken ?" I ask him.
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"Mmm I get to choose" he laughs.
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I turn to him and look up at him.
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"Which one, Jay" I ask.
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"Beef, every time" he says.
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I pick up the beef and we head to the tills. As we're waiting he puts his arm around my back.
He pays and then we head to the car.
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When we're on route again, he glances over at me and back at the road.
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"What are you thinking, I can literally hear your thoughts" I say.
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"Tell me then" he laughs
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"You know what I mean, something annoying most likely" I say.
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"I was thinking about you in my kitchen..." he says.
"Cooking obviously" he adds smirking.
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"You're really funny" I say sourly.
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We head into the gated parking and he parks up in his bay.
"Do you get your own space" I laugh.
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"Of course" he smiles at me.
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Once we get out he locks up and lets us into the building we head over to the elevator and he pushes the button for his apartment.
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"Can I kiss you yet" he says next to me when the doors close.
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"No Jay you cannot" I laugh
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"But you kissed me on the cheek earlier! Can I do that." He asks.
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"That's different" I say facing him and smiling.
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"That's a double standard" he laughs moving into me.
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He kisses my cheek and slowly moves away from me.
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"I was trying to comfort you earlier, you seemed stressed" I say when he is safely away from my lips.
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"It's was very comforting thank you" he says smirking.
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The door opens and we enter the flat. He lets me walk in first and he follows closely behind me.
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