Matty returns carrying my bag, he has stuffed the food into a box and he takes it all to the car.
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"Do you think anyone suspects" I say as he sits in the car next to me giving me the food.
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"No they just think you're pissed" he says.
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He starts up the car, reverses out and we are on our way. He cranks up the heat and tells me to try to eat.
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"I can't I'll throw up" I say
"I'm sorry Matty it's my fault I should have been more careful" I say crying.
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"It is not your fault at all, I love you. Don't pin this on you, it's fine she's a bitch. You will be fine, the baby will be fine" he says touching my leg.
"I'm doing this as a precaution" he adds.
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It's the first time he's referred to "the baby" so casually and I cry some more. I think of the little cluster of cells growing inside of me, I will them to be fine and intact. We're nearly there so I pull myself together, I don't want to walk in crying.
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Matty deals with everybody. He sorts everything out and within thirty minutes I am in a bed with jelly on my belly and an ultrasound machine.
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"At 5 weeks were looking for a small cluster, it can be hard to detect but I'm sure we can do our best" the nurse says. She is nice and she smiles at me warmly.
The device goes over my tummy for an unbearable amount of time. Matty holds my hand watching.
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"There you are" she smiles.
"Looks like you're actually 7 weeks pregnant, perhaps you conceived earlier than you expected."
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"See here is babies head, we wouldn't expect such a clear form until 7 weeks" she smiles
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Matty cries and so do I.
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"Would you like to hear the heart beat?" She asks.
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"Please" Matty says as I'm too busy crying.
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"Okay, it will be faint because the heart is so tiny"she says.
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She finds the heartbeat quickly, it's fast and it makes me smile.
"That's normal" she smiles.
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"Now I'm going to check up on your heart rate and blood pressure try to relax" she smiles.
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She performs the tests and Matty holds my hand. I smile up at him.
"Looks all okay I'll just make you an appointment for when you are 10 weeks" she says smiling.
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"How is 4pm on the 16th December for you both" she asks.
"Any new symptoms please just come in" she adds.
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We both nod. She smiles and we thank her and leave.
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Matty helps me into the car even though I tell him it's not necessary. He leans over and kisses me fervently.
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"Let's go home" he says when he finally breaks away.
Matty drives back with his hand on my knee. When we get back we head in the house. He takes my hand and leads me upstairs to our bedroom.
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Once we're in he slowly undresses me smiling.
"You are a goddess" he says.
He kisses my neck and I moan his name.
"I love you and our little baby" he says smiling kissing down to my tummy.
"I need you right now babe" he says.
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He guides me onto the bed and takes his jeans off and then his shirt. I practically faint looking at him naked, he's so beautiful and sexy.
He climbs on top and he inches inside of me, I sigh his name and he smiles. He slowly moves his hips in and out and I'm already feeling the pleasure build down there.
"I love you Matty" I tell him in his ear as he pulses inside of me.
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"I love you Taylor, I will do anything for you for the rest of our lives" he says back.
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I can't help it, hearing him say that whilst thrusting into me I orgasm around him. He's so perfect and he feels so good inside of me.
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"You are perfect" he says when he's got his breath back.
He turns over to face me in bed completely naked.
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"You're perfect my love" I tell him and he smiles at me.
He wraps his arms around my back, holding me close into him.
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"Is it too early to start buying stuff" he asks smiling at me.
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"What do you wanna buy?" I say laughing.
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"I don't know like the little baby-gros and cot stuff" he laughs.
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"You're adorable. Maybe we could look this weekend" I suggest.
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"Do you wanna know the gender" he asks.
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"No... yes." I say laughing.
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"I do but I don't at the same time" he laughs.
"We've got lots of time to decide" he says finally.
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The rest of the evening I cook, I'm craving sweet and sour so I make us that with rice. Matty sits at the table watching me, insisting to help with the cooking. I tell him that I want him to just relax. I do miss having a glass of wine whilst I'm cooking. And with dinner.
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My phone rings on the side as I'm plating up the dinner.
"Jay" I say.
I look to Matty he sighs. He answers my phone. I cringe that's going to go one of two ways. Either he will argue with him about what happened or he will just piss him off.
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"Taylor's phone" he smiles
I hear Jay on the other side and his apprehension at having to deal with Matty.
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"Yep I suppose you can, babe?" he says asking if I want to talk to him.
I take the phone.
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"Hey Jay it's all good" I say whilst cooking.
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"Yeah Taylor no it's not, that was so unbelievably not okay. I'm so sorry" he says and I'm shocked at his genuine tone.
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"I shouldn't have got in her way" I start "I should have just.."I say.
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"You are maddening, this is not something you can blame on yourself. I'm sorry, that my actions caused this." He says
"I'm sorry okay. Why did you stand up for me?" He asks.
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"Because she's a bitch" I say
"Nobody deserves that" I add. Matty rolls his eyes at me.
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"She heard from somebody that we were talking about ugh you know in the lecture. I deserve that shit but you don't, I've told her to shut up about it" he says.
I panic a little at the thought of her saying anything to anybody else.
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"She's totally insane, causing a scene like that. It's so immature and childish. I felt so angry and I just reacted" I say to him
"But it's all good" I say thinking about my little growing baby who is still fine. My tone changes when I think about her or him.
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"What are you doing?" He asks matching my caring tone.
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"Cooking" I say.
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"Mmm okay. I'm gonna miss you all weekend." He says, he has a nerve.
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"You... are insane" I laugh.
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He chuckles down the phone.
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"Bye Taylor" he says and I can feel his smile, I can see his eyes glistening full of mischief and a touch of wonder.
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"Bye" I say. I hang up, I shrug it all off.
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Matty comes up behind me. I close my eyes taking in his touch.
"It's ready, I hope it tastes all right" I say. I grab a spoon and scoop some up. I blow on it and then feed it too him.
His arms are around my waist.
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"Mmm it tastes perfect" he says.
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I grab my own spoonful and try some.
"That's just what I needed." I say smiling.
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"Convinced you're from another planet babe. You're a great cook, you can dance, sing, play instruments and you're incredibly beautiful." He says.
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"Shh sit down and I'll bring it over" I turn around and face him.
He smiles. It always takes my breath away when he smiles like that. He kisses me and then sits down without another word.
I take his plate over to him and he thanks me.
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We eat our food and its just what I needed, I clear my whole plate and drink some water.
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"'Matty can we lay in front of the fire and watch a movie" I ask him.
He smiles and begins clearing up. He goes and lights the fire and asks me to pick the movie whilst he's washing up.
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I browse all of the films and by the time he returns I've succumbed to sleep dreaming about being with my brunette haired baby who I'm still yet to meet.
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