Chapter Theme Music: Just a Dream ~ Dimmat106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Jjq7eorVZ
<02/04/2014 - 09:00 | Cage High School (World History), Austell, GA, USA>
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As much as I wish I could control the temperature outside, I kept all thoughts of Lumina to the front of my mind. Today would be another day I'd have to spend without her, all because of the inconsistent weather here. At the same time, I agreed that this would be a good opportunity to keep myself relaxed, so that I may recover from what I went through days before. I was doing much better already, my exhaustion nearing its end while my sleep cycles were returning to normal.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlW4xaV9Em
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But I wasn't entirely back to normal just yet. My mind wasn't at its usual hyper-drive speed, and any alertness I usually had about me was still absent. Despite how I felt, all appearances about me revealed that I was entirely exhausted, and it drew me some attention from the others around me, others who noticed how much worse I was on Friday.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0xBNiLKSn
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"You alright?" Yet poking into my business again, Kate, who sat beside me made her basic inquiry.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOq3ltBPim
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I must still look exhausted for anyone to ask me that. "I'm fine now."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfsf5D5gPH
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"What happened to you Friday? Everyone said you looked sick or something."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvV8RtRLk5
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Part of me wonders why Kate even cares, while the other part worries about why anyone else bothered to spread word. The entire school knows by now how I can be with my headache situation, so it's unfortunately normal for all to assume that is the core of my problems. "I was recovering from something that happened the day prior. It turns out I'm not as invulnerable as I thought." I wonder how many teenagers have said this before.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhFYtHdYLn
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"Why? Did something happen?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJlI6Y0rQR
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I stared at Kate for a long pause, wondering why she would ever put more than two seconds of focus on me. After I got into high school, most of my old acquaintances who I nearly mistook for friends stopped paying much attention to me, including Banarus. I assumed Kate and everyone else followed the same kind of behavior, likely to keep some level of popularity, since I'm known as the weird one. But was I wrong to make these assumptions? Is Kate only curious right now because she is bored, having none of her usual friends in the classroom, or is she actually curious about other aspects of my life and what I get up to? "Nothing much. Lumina and I just messed something up; that's all." It's not really in my interest to lie to anyone anymore; it doesn't mean I have to speak my truth.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjDqyfAXOu
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"I forgot you're still with her, aren't you? How long have you been together now?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN55W0Gve1T
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My eyes lifted some at the attention she was giving me. I was certain this was only spurred by the fact that Kate had no one else fun or interesting to talk to in this class, but despite that, the long awaited feeling of human conversation felt too refreshing for me to ignore. How long has it been since I spoke real to anyone other than Lumina? "Let's see... We got together 2011, so a little over three years."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkGDQsj0RT
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"That's amazing! And it's such a long time too." Kate nearly made me chuckle at her ridiculous standard for a long lasting relationship, for in my opinion, three years was nothing compared to the eternity we would share forever.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyC7Xu4fmVx
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"Yeah, it's been a good run. We've done a lot together, and been through much more too. I guess I can scratch nearly dying off my bucket list."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDFagKhYw4
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"You what?! You almost died?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43T5mcxSWO
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Oops! Probably should have censored that in hindsight. Humans make a bigger deal about death than I do, since I would have two chances of life anyway. "No... I mean, kind of..." I couldn't look her in the eyes when I said that, and Kate was now staring me down in shock from the unusual news. I didn't want to tell anyone about what happened to me last week, especially because it wasn't easy to explain. Feeling pressured, I had no choice but to face her and elaborate. "Look, it wasn't her fault. Lumina and I were doing something, and, well, things just happened."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWNHbCTRjX
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"So she had something to do with it? Tell me what happened. You should have said your life was in danger—"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEBcq6cKLY
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"I'm just gonna stop you right there, Kate. My life wasn't in serious danger, at least no more than everyone's lives are when they risk getting hit by a bus or struck by lightning. Lumina and I both got a little carried away with a small experiment, and it nearly cost me my life. There isn't anything else to unpack from that." I nervously zoomed my eyes around, hoping nobody nearby could hear us speaking.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSnsb9rBEC
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"What kind of experiment?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxE7hNqCsTP
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It's no good; I can't curb her interest to anything else. "It's not like one of those NDEs, okay? I ended up passing out, and learned later that I could have went into a coma or died because of it. Since that didn't happen, we've learned from our mistakes, and won't let it happen again."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfC6VznPCU
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"What aren't you telling me about her?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAXAW76b85
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"Huh?" Kate shouldn't just ask me the ultimate question point blank. I'm leaving out so much more, but it's for the better of us both. I don't want to imagine her reacting negatively to our story, because if she does, in my mind, she and I can never be friends. I'd rather avoid reaching that conclusion and stay ignorant.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwic9f9bu71
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"About Lumina. I remembered something about you two from before, about how she's supposedly some secret agent or something you can't talk about openly, but I don't think you were being honest about this."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIel4L1aPW
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"I wasn't lying when I said she was in the military, nor was I lying when I said she should remain a secret. If anyone else ever found out about her, they'd probably freak out, and then never speak to me again."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrN0RclHJMS
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"I wouldn't do that. How bad can someone's secret be anyway?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSdyIkhUE6
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Yeah, I've heard that line before. Kate can think that all she wants, but I don't think there is a single human alive who wouldn't find this situation alarming to say the least. "I can't talk about it, okay? There isn't any point in it for me."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJalplkO42
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"You should talk about it with someone at least... You know, just because you avoided telling lies about her, doesn't mean you've ever been truthful either."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3970c825k
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"I know."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmHcSpT2Vj
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"Then why not start now? Why is it so important that she stays a secret from everyone you know?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22xWGwjpmb
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I've never seen Kate in this kind of light before, nor did I ever notice her talkativeness to any serious topic. Why is it so important, she asks? The real answer is, I keep all of this a secret from everyone by default. The only time I ever feel interested in telling another soul about this, is when I want the other person to be that special friend to me, that someone who will listen and hear all that I have to say, that someone who won't laugh in my face or judge us for the situation we're in, that someone who will at the very least tolerate our situation, whether or not they can believe such an implausible story. That's my only motivation to tell any particular person; I never have a desire to tell a total stranger. For everyone I've ever thought about revealing this to, I simulate the scenario in my mind a dozen times over, overthinking the moment until there isn't anything left to think about. I keep my secrets, because I don't want to get my hopes up and be hurt again; all I want out of this is for anyone in this world to understand me, since there is nobody else I can talk to who has a similar situation. Despite all I was sure of though, just saying any of it to Kate was too embarrassing for me, so I gave her the short version instead. "Because you wouldn't understand; nobody would understand. It's hard enough worrying about whether the other person will keep it a secret, but what's the point if they're going to ghost me afterwards?" It's already happened with two people so far. Must Kate become the third?106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeP1dtpBpU3
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"But, if you don't ever say anything, what's even the point? I mean, you could keep it hidden forever if you wanted to, but is that really a good idea? You just don't ever want anyone to know a thing about your personal life, to never let anyone be friends with you?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4tMo1VJkW
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If only you realized the truth, that knowledge of the Altiri through me destroys any chance of friendship; it doesn't build anything. "Nobody would want to be friends with a guy like me, a weirdo who spends his time with another weirdo. Nobody would believe us if I ever told them, and ever if they did, nobody would ever accept us either."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLh3PGjYGnJ
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"How would you know, if you don't try?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECzG9Z6jQR
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"I did try! Once." My mild outburst made Kate wince back a little, telling me I had to tone it down. I don't know why she was on my case about this, but everything she was saying made me so emotional in the span of a few seconds. Her words, the entire dilemma brought back everything I've kept crammed down. "It's not the kind of thing people can just get over. If I tell you the truth about Lumina, you'd likely flip out on me too."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZn1qZNyxVU
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"I wouldn't do that."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fmRymdObQ
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I had to study her expression for a long moment to be sure. I couldn't believe her words, but her face adhered to her promise, and it confused me too quickly for logic to kick in. "Are you sure?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeLKw1ku0B
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"I... Well I can't make any promises, but how will you ever know if you don't ever try anymore? I've never seen myself as the judgmental type, but I doubt you're going through something the rest of us haven't."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwX4aQrwab
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Half of what she said struck a nerve with me at least. She says she isn't the judgmental type, huh? Would she ever think lowly of us if she knew what Lumina really was? A difference in religion often sparks hatred between two other people, and on this planet's history at least, different ethnical backgrounds cause conflict as well. Even though I'm oddly finding it hard to hold back telling Kate the truth right here in this moment, I don't really know how to tell her that my wife is a space alien. There isn't a guidebook for that. "You'd be wrong about that last part... However, maybe you're right."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhbmOu6rj8
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My words renewed her attentiveness, and woke me to a bigger problem I've been masking all along. If I don't ever change my mind, if I don't ever decide to talk to somebody about this, friends or no friends, how much longer can I avoid another mental break down like the one I had two summers ago? It isn't fair that I have to always keep myself isolated and out of every social circle, simply because of who I'm with or what I know. It's too unfair, and I should have strove to break that vicious norm a long time ago. "Okay then." I looked at Kate with a newfound promise, our eyes locked on as I prepared to do something too crazy for my continued internal calm. "What do you want to know?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl16gqgU2yJ
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Surprised as she was, Kate leaned aside her seat to get closer to me, excited as ever to hear me out. "Ugh, everything! Tell me everything!"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdMgJ19G7t
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"Alright, don't start foaming at the mouth now..." I exhaled a rather long and deep breath, spurring my thoughts together so that I could have some kind of idea where to start. I wanted to begin with the effects of the purge, but it only felt right that I begin with the prospect of psychic powers. Despite deciding on this, it took me an uncomfortable pause just so say anything, as my heart was now racing as fast as it could possibly go. "Kate? What is your opinion on psychic powers?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4FGoJOq2y
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"Ps— psychic powers?" As soon as Kate realized where the subject would begin, the shock value already started reaching her, though it was intentional I started with this aspect, hoping she could quickly get used to it. "I guess I could believe it exists, but I've never seen any proof."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzXMDfKW25
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"Yeah, well, don't expect me to have concrete proof for you, cause I don't have that kind of evidence either. Nevertheless, I know almost all there is to know on psychic abilities and phenomena, and the reason for that is because, I'm actually an active one myself."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIj22YP9BtQ
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"No way! You can actually use psychic powers? Show me!"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TpRGswSDL
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I had to shush her before she attracted any attention, since Kate became loud in her own excitement... Luckily, nobody else was focused on us, and going off the clock, there would be plenty of time to begin this story. "Easy now. I can't actually show you, I mean, not in any way that would show my abilities as real in a provable manner. I could have tried going with clairvoyance or clairsentience, but I've recently lost those abilities, so I can't demonstrate them either. The only real and important psionic power that I have right now, is telepathy. And before you get too excited, you have to keep in mind that I can only telepathically link with one specific person in the entire world. Can you guess who?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynLhPy5wWl
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"Wow! So all this time, the secret you've been keeping is that you and Lumina can speak to each other using your minds?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgsRLxsKxX
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"Well, that and much more. It's only the tip of the iceberg. For now, it's simply important that you understand how telepathy works, and that Lumina and I link with each other on the regular. Every time we invoke telepathy, our senses become shared and interchangeable with each other. Our thoughts are heard between each other, and many times, our emotions get shared too."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxx4FRFiU6
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"That sounds incredibly intimate. I mean, what if you have thoughts you'd rather keep to yourself?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3tlBpfbDP
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"It is intimate," I agreed. "But, I kind of like it that way. When you share everything you're thinking and feeling with somebody else, lying to them or hiding your true emotions becomes impossible. Because of this, it's all the more easy to be real with that person, and honest with yourself too. It is possible - while difficult to hide some level of thought, but I don't make much of a habit of doing so."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2vYrZgStN
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"Still, the fact that you can use telepathy like that is incredible! Can other people tap into it as well?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdP7IqPa1b
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"Well, not exactly. This is where everything gets complicated. One important aspect you have to understand is that, telepathy is a very difficult ability to learn. No human can wake up out of the blue and have this power, and I was never born with these abilities to begin with. They were given to me, gifted by Lumina, who naturally is a powerful scion."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBeaz6Juf7
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"Scion?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHN8x4V81vT
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"It's the other phrase I use for an active psychic, just as psionic energy and psychic energy are interchangeable."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3NKtrSaOm
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"So she gave you some of her powers? How is that even possible?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNLfnvZO2m
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"It's possible through something they call a purge. The word in their language doesn't mean the exact same thing as it does for us. For them, sending a purge is a process that merges a strong psionic signal to the target's brain, gradually forcing that person to learn telepathy after enough time. Lumina purged me some time ago, and because of it, I ended up learning how to link with her. The telepathy only works between myself and the one who purged me; I can't just connect with anybody, nor can I read what is on anyone else's mind."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44APBOBX4w
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"Oh thank God!" Kate was relived, clearly because she worried for a moment I could interpret all of her personal thoughts and emotions just by thinking about it.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspUHH0iSvq
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"The purge does some crazy things to us humans, and it has some crazy side effects. During a purge, the target will often undergo a personality change, matching the behaviors of the person who purged them. Once the purge cycle is over, these changes revert; they are never permanent."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttFSQpkj3q
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"So, you had your mind changed by a purge, literally all of your thoughts were altered?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbLv75V8zX
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"It isn't as direct as you make it sound. Thoughts become severely influenced by aspects of the purge, but essentially, the personality changes are usually too strong to fight. It's partly what made me act like a girl back then, since Lumina is a woman, and I'm, well, myself."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1p0euF571
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"This really isn't like anything I've ever heard of before."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLuM7mnKYJ
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"You see now why I don't just go around telling people about it?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XJeCXiZCT
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"But, I don't understand why that's such a big deal. I mean, it's cool, but why do you need to hide it when you can just be with Lumina and show her off right here?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2xB5qkc9f
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"Because I can't." My subtle reminder kept her quiet long enough for me to speak, her curiosity fighting through her body. "Telepathy isn't some golden star of ultimate power; it has weaknesses. Remember when I told you, it was a while back, about the time I had to suffer an entire summer without her, about how each summer, for a consecutive time of six months or more, I can't hear from her at all?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mequpOB3d
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"Yeah?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtV4GjIpRu
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"There isn't much that can block telepathic signals in this world, but there is one element which can. That element is, heat."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CxzEz2You
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"Heat?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRtM51bSkP
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"Heat. Nobody knows why, but if I'm in a warmer environment, I'll be unable to link with her, and all communications will thus become impossible. It gets really hot in Georgia sometimes, and for very long increments at that. Lumina and I are effectively in what you would call a long-distance relationship, where our only method of communication is telepathy. So, each and every summer, I can't be with her or hang out with her in any capacity because of it."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTZ34VkQm0
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"Why not just have her move out here? Or better yet, why not just use cell phones?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqqhCpJ1HX
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"I'm getting to that." Okay, the first step is complete. I told her about the telepathy thing, and she's reacting okay for now. It shouldn't be too big of a jump to go from here to 100. "There's one more aspect about telepathy which must be kept in mind. The reason most other people are not walking around with this power, is because the energy requirement the body would need is incredibly high to make use of it naturally, between one human and another. What I'm saying is, based on energy requirements alone, even given the fact that psionic energy is shared in a connection, it isn't physically possible for one human to telepathically communicate with another human, even if the purge for it somehow went through."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJ4Vgl27a8
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"But, you just said that you and Lumina use telepathy."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4s7WDX4FWI
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"I know. There is one possible exception which would allow a single human being to invoke and sustain telepathy with another. One possibility to telepathic exceptions, is that a creature biologically superior to a human, who would undoubtedly have ample amounts of psionic potential, links up and communicates with another creature of their same species. Example: alien to alien telepathy would be both natural and easy since they are simply built for it, while human to human telepathy would not."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIVJKRN2g9
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"I don't understand."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRmTt2kywA
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"The other scenario, is that this specific human telepathically links with a creature of much higher psionic potential, so that the psionic load between the two can still be handled. In this scenario, one telepathic node is a human, and the other node is an alien."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaCI1ZOsnC
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Kate suddenly gasped, while she sank down in her chair with her arms shaking. Her eyes started bouncing slightly, and it was quickly clear that she was catching onto the hints I kept dropping. "Are you trying to say... That you're not human?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrM76j2nDE
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"Not quite. I'm fully human, flesh and blood like everybody else... The same cannot be said for Lumina." There was no sense hiding it now, and it was already too late to go back. Still, admitting this to someone after so long made me drenched in sweat underneath my clothes. Despite knowing what to say, I was nervous as hell. The face Kate is making right now isn't helping.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6hiGHxpU6
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Kate faced the front of the classroom, her mind ablaze while her expression of shock stood in stone, frozen by denial. "Lumina... She's not human?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdkU8m3MmA
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I sighed, hoping we would both get through this rough moment. "Yes, that is what I'm saying. The reason I can't ever show her off, is for the same reason I can't physically be with her whenever I want. Right now, I'm physically here on this earth, while Lumina is in a different part of the universe, in a galaxy called Genosis."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXO2QqaNd5K
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"She's a space alien?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MZyX4IrIq
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"An Altiri alien, if you want to place a name to their race. Lumina and I are on opposite sides of the universe, but we communicate anyway, using a unique variation of telepathy. Using telepathy shouldn't be dangerous to us in any regard, but last week, we both tried to push a failing connection past our limits, and it damaged me as a result, nearly killed me. Luckily, I'm fine and well."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlCn1UBAaF
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"An Altiri alien?" Kate wasn't her normal self anymore. She couldn't look me in the eyes, and her mind seemed to be looping right at that point. The reason was as clear as day, but I didn't want to see her in this state of mind either.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5KP0yC4tq
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"I know it can be a bit shocking, but that is our main secret. Lumina and I are aliens to each other. Despite that, she and I managed to fall in love and make things work out anyway."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUjvJtcNXQ
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"You had your mind messed with by an alien?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpwhIiR05N
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"Hey, are you alright?" I could see the fear rippling through her body from here; Kate couldn't hide how much this truth scared her. "I can answer any questions if you want, but you should know, the Altiri are not a danger to us. They're not our enemy, nor do they want to do us any harm." I wasn't sure yet whether Kate was having a problem believing my story, or if she was too scared to think.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIrP0BWThh
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"Th— this doesn't make any sense. Aliens actually exist, and they decided to start talking to you with their weird powers?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNYTLBv21p
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"Technically, I'm not the first human to be purged, though sadly, I can't seem to find the others who might have been purged around the same time as me. So, I talk to Lumina all the time even when nobody knows about it, but as you can imagine, I have trouble talking to other humans, because we don't typically have this kind of background in common."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYQEqc7paU
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"Yeah... Right..."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYt9ufrEMy
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What is with her right now? Is her fear factor of aliens really this overwhelming? She was fine when I mentioned psychic abilities, but at the mention of aliens, she suddenly can't take it anymore? "Kate?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YXgFr5OuM
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"That's just too scary Reed. How do you know you can trust Lumina?"106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwZc3zLicmx
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"What? Hey, come on now. Remember what I said about being too judgmental? She's not some slimy monster sulking around the world. Lumina is a person, just like you and me, and I trust her with my life. You shouldn't hate or fear somebody simply because of where they are from."106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCoGtBSicA
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"I... I... I need some air." Kate could barely breathe, sounding as if her lungs were being crushed, as she stood out of her desk to leave the classroom. She was either going to the bathroom, or to find a quiet place outdoors, but I wasn't able to stop her.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrYF9R97xm
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"Kate!" I knew I couldn't just run after her and force her to stay here listening to my rambling. It would be wrong of me to force this on anybody, but as soon as she left the classroom, I was left to myself and my thoughts, now turned against me for my own transgression.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTbLu0kzvQ
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I was momentarily stunned in my place long after she left, trying to keep up with what happened. It was easy to see why she left in a rush; I just didn't want to admit it. Well this is just great! She got so scared of the Altiri that she rushed out of here. No matter how I tried to calm myself, I instantly considered this attempt to be yet another failure. The butterflies in my stomach from realizing this made me sick, as did the realization that yet another person I trusted for a brief moment shot down the mere idea of talking to me about this stuff or hanging out with me after it was said.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIw0zGUAgC3
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Kate didn't make fun of me for my story. In fact, she seemed to buy it completely, which is why she was allowed to be this afraid in the process. I can try and do damage control, but I don't think Kate is going to ever want to talk to me again after this. After what I told her, she'll be too scared to approach me or let me speak to her, scared of what the Altiri might to do her even though there is no hostility. I didn't really expect a fear factor to be another reason thwarting any chance of human connection, but the evidence slammed me in the face.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUy7PBLpW8p
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For all it came down to, I decided to leave class too. She wasn't the only one hurt by all of this, and I couldn't think about anything else. I should have known what to expect from trying this again. I just wish it would have worked out better for us both.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmI8ZvNKgP
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On one hand, I can't blame her entirely. Most people who learn about aliens in a believable manner tend to default to their fear and panic, fear of what they don't know, fear of what has yet to be understood. Others remain skeptical, even in the face of proof. All I could think now was, humanity must not be ready for this kind of step in communication.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSU20fEg16
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On the other hand, be it from fear or anything else, the end result turned out to be the same. I had no other classes with Kate this semester, but I doubt she would dare speak to me anyway, no matter what I tried to do to rectify the situation. That's one more time I opened up to somebody else only to get my feelings stomped on, and because of my innate desire for friendship, I doubt this will be the last time it happens too. If I could talk to her one more time, I'd tell Kate, that the Altiri are not so scary, once we get to know them. Sadly, I don't think I'll ever have that chance.106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2H6UiVLAbi
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Why must humans always be this way? Why can't anyone understand that this side of my life is all I have keeping me here? Maybe, in my own way, I've become an alien as well, to a social degree. If this is what it means to be human, I'd rather be anything else.
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